Chasing Tranquility

By

Marie Jem

Published by Marie Jem

Copyright© 2014

Table of Contents

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Chapter 27

Chapter 1

New York was our destination as I tried to make myself as comfortable as I could during the late night flight, which had already been delayed.  I was always an anxious flyer and found it very difficult to sleep in airplanes.  I looked over at Alex, who was sound asleep and wished I could do the same, but even our first class seats were not enough to override my anxiety.  I fumbled through magazines, tried to watch a movie, and even worked on crossword puzzles.  The mild turbulence began to worsen and the captain turned on the fasten seatbelt light.  It was bumpy enough to awaken Alex from a deep sleep.

“What time is it, baby?” he asked, his eyes only half open.

“Less than two hours to go,” I replied.  Alex opened his eyes wider, observing me closely.

“Are you all right?  You’re so pale.  It’s only some turbulence, baby,” he comforted me.

“I know, Alex, but it’s making me nauseous,” I replied.

“Hey, I have an idea,” he began with a sexy grin on his face. “How about you and I sneak to the bathroom together and have a little fun.  I’ve never done it in an airplane bathroom.  I think it would be hot.”

I began to laugh and gave him a nudge with my elbow.  “Alex, I don’t think that’s such a good idea right now, considering all the turbulence.”

“Yeah, but I got you to laugh, didn’t I?” he winked.

Alex always knew how to calm me down when I was nervous.  He was the only man I had trusted enough to let into my life after I was raped during my first year in college.  He helped me through the endless nightmares I had almost nightly, which caused me to wake up screaming.  He wanted the police to find the man who attacked me just as much as I did, if not more.  I prayed that one day all of the pain from the past would vanish, so I could sleep comfortably every night without fear.

The captain announced that we would begin our descent, relieving me from some of my anxiety.  The turbulence seemed to worsen as we were descending and approaching the airport.  Just as the plane was going to land on the runway, it began ascending and took off again.  I looked at Alex, puzzled, but he didn’t seem surprised.

“I guess we weren’t cleared for landing just yet.  It happens all the time due to weather conditions,” he replied.

Alex wasn’t lying because the captain announced something similar to what he told me.  We spent at least thirty minutes circling and circling around the airport waiting for landing clearance.  My heart and stomach were almost in my mouth at that point.  Alex didn’t seem bothered one bit.

“It’s so obvious that you’re a surgeon.  You are so calm at a time like this while I’m about to vomit from nausea and fear.  It’s not fair.” I said.

“Opposites attract, baby.  This is very common when flying to New York,” he replied, taking my hand and kissing it in effort to calm me down.  After what seemed like an eternity, the plane finally landed at JFK International Airport.  My heart returned back to its original location along with my stomach.  I let out a big sigh of relief, grateful to be on the ground in one piece.

It was past eight o’clock in the morning in New York.  Alex had already booked a late flight, which was delayed two hours, resulting in a later arrival.  We hurried to baggage claim for our luggage as Alex made a phone call.

“George, it’s Alex.  Are you here?  Yes, we are headed to baggage claim,” he said.  “George is my parents’ chauffer.  He’s been with our family for years,” he explained after hanging up the phone.  Once we made it to baggage claim, a grey haired man with a mustache approached us.

“Welcome back to New York, Alex.  It’s so good to see you.  It’s been a long time,” he said with a heavy Middle Eastern accent.

“It’s great seeing you again, George.  This is my girlfriend, Claire,” he introduced me.

“Welcome, Miss Claire.  Very nice to meet you,” he greeted.

“Nice to meet you as well, George,” I replied.

George grabbed our baggage and situated everything in the trunk of a large black Mercedes Maybach sedan.  He opened the door for Alex and I to take a seat before heading to the driver seat.  It was so comfortable in that large sedan that I didn’t anticipate staying awake for long.  George filled Alex in on all the latest gossip in New York since his last visit.

“How long until we get there, Alex?” I asked.

“It may take up to an hour with traffic and all.  Maybe you should take a little nap, baby.  You didn’t sleep on the plane,” he replied.  I nodded with heavy eyelids.  I was in and out of sleep, wanting desperately to keep my eyes open, so I could see New York, but was unsuccessful.  Alex woke me up when we were already on Park Avenue, where his parent’s lived.  There was quite a bit of snow covering the ground, enough to confirm it had been a very white Christmas.

“There’s Central Park, baby.  It’s right across the street from my parents’ place, he pointed out.  “If you like to ice skate, we will do that during our visit,” he said.

“I love to ice skate,” I smiled.

George pulled in front of a beautiful tall beige building with an old, ancient, original charm.  He opened the door for Alex and I to step out as he took our luggage out of the trunk.  After we entered the building, a tall, pleasant man with grey hair and a matching beard greeted us.  He bowed as he turned to us.  His name was Hank and he worked as the doorman in the building.

We followed Hank to the elevators as he headed inside with us.  “After you,” he bowed his head. I watched him press the P button.  If I wasn’t mistaken, I believed that stood for penthouse.  I didn’t want to sound dumb by asking if that was where we were headed.  I would find out soon enough.  The elevator doors opened right in front of a double door suite.  Hank used a key to let us in to an extraordinarily custom decorated penthouse apartment with a grand foyer.  Ivory marble covered the floors of the entrance with a large, round mosaic in the middle.

Our luggage was already inside the apartment waiting for us.  A pretty woman in a maid’s uniform, no more than my mother’s age greeted us shortly after we entered.  She introduced herself as Maria.

“Nice to meet you as well, Maria,” I said as she took my coat and scarf.

“Have my parents left for work already?” asked Alex.

“Oh yes, they have, Alex.  They are working today, but will be leaving within the next few days for their trip to Hawaii,” she informed.

“Oh, that’s right.  I had almost forgotten about that,” replied Alex.  “My parents usually take a trip to some place warm this time of year.  I decided it would be best if we stayed here during our trip since they would be on vacation and we would have the whole place to ourselves,” he informed me.

“This is beautiful, Alex,” I replied, admiring what I had seen so far.

“You haven’t seen anything yet.  Come, I will give you a tour,” he said, taking my hand.

Alex gave me the grand tour of the huge penthouse apartment.  The kitchen alone looked about the size of the entire first floor of my condominium.  I couldn’t keep track of how many bedrooms and bathrooms there were.  The outside included a wrap around terrace with skyline views of the city and Central Park, which was right across the street.  I had lost count of the many fireplaces it included as well. 

“This was my room,” Alex said as he pulled me into another large room with it’s own full bath and beautiful views.  I noticed quite a few medals hanging on the wall.  I got closer to see what they were for and was pleasantly surprised to find out that Alex was a black belt in karate.  There were many pictures on the wall with him in uniform and many trophies from competitions.

“Alex, I didn’t know you’re a black belt,” I said.

“Yeah, well, now you know,” he laughed.  “That was back in the days before medical school,” he replied.

“This place is amazing, Alex,” I said.

“I’m glad you like it, baby.  If you didn’t like it, I was going to find a hotel suite to your liking,” he replied.

“I highly doubt you could find anything like this,” I said.

“Good.  We will stay here then,” he smiled.  “Baby, I think you should take a little nap,” he said, taking my face into his hands, caressing my cheeks.  “I want to take you out tonight and I don’t want you to be tired and sleepy,” he said.

“Only if you’ll join me,” I grinned.  Alex smiled and brought our luggage into the room, closed the shutters and curtains, and crawled into bed for that much needed nap.  I closed my eyes and was asleep within seconds.

I was running as fast as I could, as I was being chased and could only see the shadow of the one chasing me.  My heart was beating so quickly and I was running out of breath, but I was determined to make it past the white van.  As I approached the side of the van, the door slid open as a pair of dirty hands tried to grab me.  The one chasing me also grabbed me as I collapsed and turned to see who it was.  It was Alex.  I woke up to find myself sitting on the bed, my throat sore, most likely from screaming.

Alex was sitting up as well next to me.  He had awakened from my loud scream and was trying to calm me down. “It’s okay, baby.  It was just another nightmare,” he assured, but I couldn’t go back to sleep.  I got up quietly and headed to the bathroom to take a shower.  The shower in his bathroom was very spacious and included one large rain shower from the top, and two from the sides of the walls.

I thought I heard something and turned to see Alex standing outside the shower door.  He opened it and stepped inside to join me.  His electric blue eyes penetrated into mine, as a dark strand of hair hung over his eyebrow.

“Taking a shower without me?” he whispered into my ear.  He turned the knob to make the water hotter, since he loved hot showers and baths.  It was too hot for me, but before I could complain, Alex said, “It’s only hot because you’re in here, baby.”  The closer he moved toward me, the quicker my heart began to beat.  The combination of the heat and steam in that shower made me want him more.  His wet lips met mine as his tongue began to move against mine.  His hands moved to my bottom as he grabbed hard, then released his grip and slowly moved them up towards my breasts.  His lips parted from my lips as they headed for my breasts.  He sucked on my nipples as his hands headed down, sliding his wet fingers inside me.

“Ah!” I yelled out.

“You like that?” he asked.  I just nodded.

I noticed there was a large tile bench in the shower.  I pushed Alex down and made him take a seat as I got down on my knees and slid his erection deep into my mouth.  His response confirmed that I shouldn’t stop, but I wasn’t going to let him finish so quickly.  I got up off my knees and sat on him, pushing him deep inside of me.  I moved up and down so slowly, as I didn’t want him to come so fast.  He grabbed me by the head and pulled me closer to him as he kissed me, pushing his tongue against mine with force.  I began to move faster, up and down, in and out.  My pulse quickened as my heart raced as never before.  I could feel it up to the pit of my abdomen as I continued until Alex and I came together.  I rested my head on his shoulder, as we just held onto one another, both of us listless.

Alex shampooed my hair and lathered my body as always. “I love you, baby,” he said, shutting off the very hot water.

“I love you too,” I replied with whatever energy I had left after our activities.

After I was dressed, Alex let me know that Maria had made lunch for us to enjoy in the dining room.  I followed him to the large dining area, which included a beautiful crystal chandelier hanging from the ceiling.

Maria had made salmon salad with spinach and walnuts.  It was light and delicious and just what we needed for that afternoon.

“She cooks almost as good as you do, Alex,” I whispered.

Alex chuckled.  “I’ve learned a few things from her growing up.  She’s a great cook,” he replied.

Just as we were almost finished with our lunch, I heard a loud male voice coming from the other room.

“I think my father is home,” Alex said.

“Where is that son of mine?” his father asked as he came into the dining room.  Alex’s father was very tall, lean, and had a full head of hair.  His eyes were big and blue, just like Alex.  When he smiled, I could see where Alex got his smile.

“Hi dad,” Alex said as they hugged tightly. “This is Claire.”

“Lovely to meet you, Claire.  We’ve heard great things about you,” he said, making me blush.

“Likewise, Dr. Blake.  It’s nice to finally meet you,” I replied.

“Oh, just call me Richard, please,” he said as he hugged me.  He then turned to Alex and talked about his very early morning in the operating room.  Alex’s father was a neurosurgeon, one of the best in the nation.  He was able to perform procedures that other surgeons were not seasoned enough to do.

“You know your mother and I are leaving for Hawaii in a few days?  You guys can have the place all to yourselves.  I’m sure you need a vacation as much as we do,” he smiled.  “I’m going to take a quick shower,” he added and headed toward the hallway.

“He seems so sweet, Alex,” I said.

“He’s sweet at home.  Don’t ask his colleagues how he is at the hospital,” he replied, chuckling.

“What time does your mother usually get home?”

“Her day starts off later than his, so she will be home in a few hours,” he replied.  Alex’s mother was a radiologist and owned her own imaging center.  She sounded like a very successful and smart woman from what Alex told me about her.  “Why don’t you put your coat on, so I can take you out on the terrace for a few minutes and show you the city from there,” said Alex.

I asked Maria for my coat and scarf and went out on the wrap around terrace with Alex as he showed me the beautiful skyline view and Central Park.  It was very cold out there, but I wanted to stay for a few minutes and enjoy the view. 

“It’s more beautiful at night because you can see all the lights,” he said.  “I know you’re cold, baby.  Let’s head back inside.”  He led me inside to the library and started the fire.

The library wasn’t as large as the other rooms in the apartment.  It was smaller and very cozy with emerald green carpet and walnut wood bookcases from floor to ceiling.  It was my favorite room because it gave me such a warm feeling when it was cold outside.

Maria made us hot tea to sip on while we sat in the library.  I wasn’t used to someone waiting on me, hand and foot, but I thought I should enjoy it while it lasted.  We were only in New York on vacation and would soon head home and do our own laundry, cooking, and cleaning.

Alex made some phone calls and texted his friends who lived in New York or were visiting to let them know he was in town.  Just as he was about to sip on the tea, his phone rang, “Hey, Phil, how’s it going?  I’m so glad you’re in New York.  I miss you, man.  Let’s get together and catch up.  I’m here with my girlfriend, Claire,” he said.

As Alex was on the phone with his friend, I put my cup of tea on the table and walked over to the bookcase to see what kind of books they had.  It was quite the collection including Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen and The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald.  I could spend days in that library, reading for hours on end by the warm fire.  I snapped out of the daydream when I heard Alex call my name.

“Claire? Baby?”

“Oh, sorry,” I apologized after I realized I hadn’t heard a word he said.  “I was so into the book collection that I forgot where I was,” I replied.

Alex laughed, “You can read as many as you want,” he smiled.  “That was my best friend, Phil.  He’s in town visiting friends and would like to have drinks with us tonight,” he said.  “I will confirm a time with him and let you know.  It probably won’t be until later tonight, anyway.”

“Yeah, sure, that sounds like fun.  You could go have a drink with him without me if you want, Alex.  I really don’t mind.  I’m sure you two have a lot of catching up to do,” I offered.

“No, baby, we are going together.  Besides, he would like to meet you.  You’re going to love him.  He’s really funny,” he replied.

“Okay, just wanted to give you some space and guy time with your friends,” I said.

“I don’t need space, baby,” he said as he pulled me closer to him.  “Every inch counts,” he whispered as his warm lips met mine and his hand met my thigh, working it’s way up.  He was beginning to turn into an octopus when I thought I heard a woman’s voice.

“Is someone here?” I asked Alex.

“I think I hear my mother,” he nodded as his mother entered the library.

“Darling,” she said, her arms wide open to give Alex a hug.  “I’m so glad you’re here.  Oh and you must be Claire,” she turned to me, hugging me as well.  “You are so beautiful.  I’m so glad to finally meet you,” she smiled.  Alex’s mother was a beautiful woman with medium brown hair and big green eyes.  She was very well dressed with beautiful accessories.  Her skin was flawless and her smile just as bright as Alex and Melissa’s.  I took a liking to her right away.

“I’m so glad to meet you too, Dr. Blake,” I replied.

“Oh dear, please call me Isabelle,” she said.  “You must have dinner with us tonight.  Please don’t tell me you’ve made plans already,” she said, turning to Alex. “We are leaving for Hawaii soon and won’t have much time together before we go,” she said.

“I’d love to have dinner here,” I replied.  Alex agreed that it was a great idea, since we wouldn’t be meeting his friend Phil until later in the evening, anyway.

“Wonderful!  I will ask Maria to prepare a feast,” she said and left the library.

“Your mom is so adorable, Alex,” I said.

“She’s a firecracker, that’s for sure,” he replied, laughing.

<><><>

Maria had prepared a delicious dinner of roast beef, mashed potatoes, and seasoned vegetables.  Alex pulled the chair for me to take a seat next to him, as his parents sat across from one another, each at the head of the table.  Alex’s father, Richard, asked quite a few questions about my background.  He wanted to know where I had gone to college and what I intended to do with my future.  His mother, Isabelle, was more concerned about my hobbies, likes, and dislikes.  Her face lit up when I told her about my dancing history.

“Oh, that’s wonderful.  Our Alex isn’t such a bad dancer himself,” she said, smiling at him.

“He’s a much better dancer than I am,” I replied.

Alex blushed, “Okay, you two, let’s talk about something other than my dance skills,” he said.

“Richard, when is the gala event for Alzheimer’s?” she asked.

“I think it’s Saturday, the fifth.  Will you two still be here then?” he asked Alex.

“Yeah, we’re not leaving until the seventh.” Alex replied.

Isabelle turned to me to explain about the Alzheimer’s event they attended annually, which was a formal fundraising gala.  Richard never missed it because it was important to his field of practice.

“Your father has purchased an entire table.  You two should definitely come,” said his mother.  She turned to me, “Claire, you would really enjoy it.  There are singers, comedians, celebrities, and much more.  It’s a great charity event for a good cause.  It’s very formal so if you haven’t brought a glamorous gown with you from home, we could go shopping.  What do you say?” She asked, her smile beaming.

“Sure, I’d love to, Mrs. Blake,” I replied.

“Please, call me Isabelle.  It makes me feel young,” she laughed.

“I don’t feel like going into work tomorrow.  Alex, please don’t make plans for tomorrow afternoon.  I’m going to take Claire out on the town for a little shopping,” she said.  Alex didn’t look like he was going to change her plans since she was so excited.  I was looking forward to spending time with Isabelle, because she reminded me of Alex’s sister, Melissa, whom I really enjoyed the company of.

Alex had made arrangements for us to meet his friend Phil at a lounge nearby.  I put on a tight turtleneck sweater, boots and a warm coat.  Alex said it was very close so we would be walking there.  It was beautiful outside.  It was cold with the right amount of winter freshness.  We walked hand in hand until we reached a lounge called Verne.  As we walked in, I noticed the multi color stone flooring and a bar area made of mostly glass.  We took a seat at a round booth with black leather upholstery and multi colored stone table.

A tall, muscular man walked in with strawberry blond hair, fair skin, and light brown eyes.  Alex stood up to greet him, “Hey pal!  How’s it going?” he said as they hugged.  “Baby, I want you to meet Phil, my oldest and best friend.  And by oldest, I don’t mean by age,” he laughed.

“This must be your beautiful girlfriend, Claire,” he said, taking my hand and kissing it.  If it were anybody else, Alex wouldn’t like that, I thought to myself, but Phil must have been like a brother to him.

“It’s nice meeting you, Phil,” I replied, slowly pulling my hand away.

We ordered drinks and a few appetizers as Phil and Alex talked and talked, catching up on things they had been up to since the last time they had seen one another.  I was getting a little tired and the jet lag was kicking in, but I didn’t want to be the party pooper.  Alex excused himself to use the restroom, leaving me in the company of Phil.

“Why is it that Alex always gets the good ones?” he asked, as he slid closer and closer to me on the leather seat.  “You seem like such a catch,” he added, as I moved away from him.  I felt a little uneasy around Phil.  I didn’t like the way he looked at me, especially when Alex wasn’t around.  His eyes seemed to linger more below my neck than above when Alex wasn’t looking.  I would never disclose my feelings about Phil to Alex because I knew how much he cared about him.  He felt the same way about him as I felt about my best friend, Katherine.

Alex returned from the restroom shortly and took a seat next to me and put his arm around me.  “How about one last drink for the walk home?”

“It’s on me,” Phil replied.

“So, who are you staying with, Phil?” asked Alex.

“I’m staying at Dave’s and Sara’s place.  It’s a little tight, but it’s okay,” he replied.

“Listen, if that doesn’t work out for you, feel free to come stay at my parents’ place.  They’re going to Hawaii for a few days, so it’s just going to be us.  Let me know how it goes staying with Dave and Sara.  If it gets too crammed, call me.”

“Will do, Al.  Thanks bro,” he replied and turned to me, giving me a wink.  He really knew how to make a woman feel uneasy around him.

It was almost two o’clock in the morning when we decided to call it a night and walk back to the Blake’s penthouse apartment.  Alex wasn’t sleepy at all so he wanted to have some hot tea with me in the library.  He had to make the tea, since Maria didn’t work in the middle of the night.  I was whispering, since I didn’t want to awaken his parents.

“You don’t need to whisper, baby.  They can’t hear you.  Their bedroom is all the way on the other wing,” he explained.  “You could scream.  You could moan in ecstasy.  They wouldn’t hear a thing,” he said as he took the cup of tea from my hand and put it on the coffee table, his hand under my sweater and already on my breasts.  I hadn’t even realized he had unclasped my bra.  I could see fire in his blue eyes in that dimly lit room, as he pulled me closer to him.  If we were any closer, we would become one.  “I hate turtlenecks,” he said, almost tearing off my sweater while I unbuckled his belt.

Our clothes could not come off quickly enough as our lips met, causing the fire between us to ignite.  He pushed his tongue against mine and he pressed his chest on my breasts as he lay on top of me on that emerald green library sofa.  His lips left mine and headed for my neck and ear, where I felt his warm breath in my ear as he bit my ear lobe.  He continued to my neck, shoulders, and down to my breasts.  My heart was going to pound out of my chest at that point.  One hand was on my breast, his tongue circling around my nipple and the other hand slid down between my legs as his wet fingers found their way inside of me.  It was becoming more difficult to keep quiet.  We had never made love in a place where others shared the same roof. 

His body felt so warm on top of mine that I forgot how cold it was out there.  His lips met mine once again as I felt his hardness enter me, his pelvis pushing against mine.  I began to perspire as his thrust quickened and he pushed himself deeper into me, his lips glued to mine.

“Tell me how you want it,” he commanded.

“I want it faster,” I replied.

“How’s that?” he asked as he quickened his pace and pushed himself deeper inside of me.  I could hear my heart beating into my ears at that point as I lost control and began to convulse, not realizing how loud I yelled.

“Ahhhh!” I couldn’t help myself or keep quiet any longer.  Alex came shortly after I did and was just as loud as I had been, if not louder.

He rested his head next to mine, “That was such a fucking turn on.  I love it when you’re loud, especially when we’re not alone,” he said.

Alex gathered our clothes from the library as we quickly headed to his bedroom, which wasn’t very far from the library.  We took a shower together before crawling into bed, my head on his chest.  My eyelids were so heavy that I didn’t anticipate it would take too long for me to fall asleep.

“I love you, baby,” he said, kissing my forehead.

“Love you too, Alex,” I replied and emerged into the land of sleep.

<><><>

I awaked just a few hours later, unable to go back to sleep.  Alex was in a deep sleep and I didn’t want to wake him up by tossing and turning.  I walked over to the big window and stared out into the beautiful city.  I recalled a letter I had received in the mail just before leaving my condominium.  There was no return address on the envelope.

Dear Claire,

This message is from someone who dearly cares about you.  The man who you are in love with and who claims to be madly in love with you is not the perfect man you think he is.  Run while you can.  Run before it is too late.  Don’t go to New York with him.  Look what happened to Angela and know that you will be just like her if you stay with him.  This is your chance to back out.  Find a man who doesn’t have any skeletons in his closet.

Anonymous

It was very difficult to get that letter out of my mind.  I wanted to know who sent it to me and what they were trying to tell me.  Alex had promised me that he had no secrets or anything undisclosed from me after I discovered he was still married to Angela.  I knew I had knowledge of everything that I needed to know about Alex.  I knew about his rough past with Angela, her infidelity, her addiction to plastic surgery, and her drug addiction.  I knew he had difficult time trusting women after discovering his wife was having an affair with her colleague.  I couldn’t think of any skeletons that Alex could possibly have in his closet.  What I did know was that I loved him more than anything and knew that he loved me just the same. 

“Claire?” I heard Alex call my name.  I turned around to find him sitting up in his bed.

“Sorry if I awakened you.  I couldn’t sleep, so I thought I would just admire the view,” I smiled.

“Come here, baby,” he said, his arms open and ready to embrace me.  I rested my head on his chest as he combed his fingers through my hair.

“Alex, can I ask you something?” I asked.

“You can ask me anything, baby.  You should know that by now,” he replied.

“Is there anything you’re not telling me about yourself?  Anything from the past or present, aside from Angela, of course.” I asked.

“No, baby.  You know everything there is to know about me.  Where is all this coming from all of a sudden?” he asked.

“Nowhere, Alex.  I just wanted to make sure there were no more secrets - that’s all.  Maybe it’s the jetlag causing all these thoughts and questions in my mind,” I joked.

I felt a little better after talking to Alex and getting my thoughts and questions off of my chest.  I had a feeling the one who sent that letter to me was only trying to play with my mind and ruin my trip to New York.  I decided I wasn’t going to let it get in the way of having the time of my life with Alex in his hometown.  We already had our share of heartbreak with my miscarriage and fall down a flight of stairs, which landed me in the hospital for a few days.  I wasn’t going to let anyone or anything get in the way of Alex and I.

“Remember what I promised you, baby?  No secrets.  No lies,” he reminded.

“I know, Alex.  Just ignore what I said,” I replied.

“Let me ask you something, Claire,” he said.

“Ask me anything,” I replied.

“Why is it that I can’t get enough of you?” he asked, pulling me closer to him.

“Hmm, I may be addictive.  You might need to go to rehab for a while,” I replied.

“You’re the one drug I could never give up,” he said as he turned on top of me and removed my bra and panties.  Alex always knew how to cure my insomnia by making love to me. I slept like a baby until very late in the morning.

<><><>

When I opened my eyes, I wasn’t sure where I was.  It took a moment or so for me to realize I was in New York with Alex.  I had slept so deep and couldn’t have been happier about it, as it was a nightmare free night.  I looked at my phone and noticed it was almost eleven.  I jumped out of bed as I recalled that Isabelle and I were going to go shopping together to find a formal gown for me to wear to the Alzheimer’s gala event.

I brushed my teeth, applied some makeup, and dressed very warm since the weather report stated it was going to be in the forties all day.  I was pulling my boots on when Alex woke up.

“Where are you going, baby?” he asked, as confused as I had been when I first woke up.

“I have a shopping date with your mom, remember?” I asked.

“Oh, that’s right.  I had almost forgotten about that,” he replied.

He hopped out of bed and put on a pair of sweats and a sweatshirt and followed me into the kitchen, which smelled of delicious foods Maria had prepared.

“Good morning, lovebirds,” Isabelle smiled when she saw us.  She was almost finished with her eggs and fruit and asked us to have a seat next to her.

“Maria, could you put something together for Alex and Claire, please?” she asked.

“Is dad working today?” asked Alex.

“Oh, of course, dear.  He left very early this morning,” she replied.  Maria made omelets and pancakes for Alex and I to have before Isabelle and I went out to shop.

“You’re going to have a great shopping experience with my mother today, Claire.  She loves to shop more than I do, if that’s even possible,” he laughed.

“Aha, now I know who you take after,” I smiled.

“Will we be walking there?” I asked.

“How would we walk back with bags full of all the fabulous things we will be purchasing? It looks very cold out today.  I don’t want you to freeze on your first visit here.  George is going to drive us there and he will pick us up,” she smiled.

“But, I only need one dress,” I said.

Alex and his mother both laughed at my comment.  I figured they had never been out shopping for only one item.  I knew to expect a major shopping spree in New York City that day.  I wasn’t sure if it was going to be a good thing or a bad thing, considering my salary and the expensive taste I imagined Isabelle had.

Maria handed me my coat, scarf, and gloves as Alex gave me a kiss goodbye. “I miss you already,” he said.

I was excited to go shopping in New York because of all the wonderful things I had heard about it. 

Chapter 2

Hank was waiting for us downstairs to escort us to the car, which George had already warmed up.  I felt the brutal cold as I stepped outside the building.  Isabelle had been right about how cold it was going to be.  I couldn’t imagine walking a long distance in that weather.  Isabelle and I took a seat as George closed the doors and headed to the driver’s seat.

“Where would you like to go, Mrs. Blake?” asked George.

“Why don’t you take us to Madison Avenue, please,” Isabelle replied.  She turned to me, “I told you it’s too cold to walk anywhere, didn’t I?  I used to be fine with this weather in my younger days, but my joints don’t agree with it now that I am maturing,” she chuckled.

“I don’t blame you, Isabelle.  I’m a bit younger than you and I find it difficult to tolerate for more than a few minutes,” I smiled.

I was curious about how the day was going to be - shopping with Alex’s mother, whom I had only met less than twenty-four hours before our outing.  As George turned onto Madison Avenue, I noticed the extravagant boutiques side by side.  There were crowds of people walking, dressed in their warm coats, scarves, hats, gloves and boots.  Their hands were filled with shopping bags from those exclusive designer boutiques.  I presumed they were doing some after Christmas shopping and returning or exchanging items.

Public transportation was the best way to get about in New York.  I noticed yellow taxi cabs and buses everywhere.  The buildings were so tall that I felt as though I was getting a kink in my neck from looking up so high.  It was definitely a different world from where I grew up in California.

Everyone seemed to know Isabelle when we walked into the boutiques, validating that she did do quite a bit of shopping.  I so much as looked at something I liked and Isabelle insisted on purchasing it for me.  I declined and told her that I already had enough coats and boots to last me several winter seasons.

Shopping for the perfect dress for the gala event was a success.  Isabelle found the perfect dress at Barney’s New York and shoes to go with it.  She insisted that it was the dress I must wear to the gala.  I was skeptical about making the purchase, as both items had a very high price tag.  When I pulled out my credit card to hand it to the saleswoman, she said it had already been taken care of by Isabelle.

“I-I can’t let you pay for this, Isabelle.  Please allow me to pay you back,” I pleaded.

“Don’t worry about it, dear.  I invited you to the gala as a guest and would like to treat you by getting you a little something to wear.  Make an old woman happy by accepting it with a simple thank you,” she replied.

“Thank you, Isabelle.  I really appreciate it.  You didn’t have to do this,” I said.

“It’s my pleasure.  Alex would be really upset if I had allowed you to pay.  Boy is he going to love this dress on you.  I have an idea,” she began as her eyes lit up.  “Let’s hide the dress from Alex until the day of the gala. I will store it in my closet and he won’t as much as get a glimpse of it. He’s going to be so pleasantly surprised.  I will book an appointment for you with my hair and make up artist.  You leave everything to me,” she said with so much excitement.  I could tell she missed Melissa, whom she spent a lot of time shopping and playing dress up with.  I couldn’t blame them, as my mother and I loved to do the same things.

Isabelle asked that they hold all the items she had purchased and said George would pick it up later.  “Let’s have lunch at the café nearby,” she said.  We walked out of the department store and began walking.  Isabelle informed me that the café was rather close so she didn’t need to call George to drive us there.  “My joints will survive the few minute walk,” said Isabelle as we both laughed.

As we were walking on Madison Avenue, engaged in a conversation about fashion and her upcoming trip to Hawaii, I almost jumped on Isabelle out of fear.  A white utility van’s side door slid open just as we were walking right next to it.  I grabbed onto Isabelle’s arm as my body pushed her, almost causing her to fall.  She held onto me and thankfully did not fall.  I gathered myself together and took a good look at what had almost caused me to have a heart attack.  It was a white utility van; a plumbing company van.  The man had slid the side door open to take out the tools and equipment he needed for the job.  I watched him closely for a few seconds and realized I had been made an absolute fool out of myself.

“Claire, what is wrong?  What happened?” Isabelle asked puzzled.

“Oh my God, Isabelle, I’m so sorry.  I’m so embarrassed.  I can’t believe I grabbed onto you like that and almost caused you to fall,” I apologized.

“Forget about me, dear.  You look like you’ve seen a ghost.  And you’re shaking.” She noticed I had turned into a leaf.  I was mortified.  I thought Alex’s mother was going to think I was some crazy, psychotic girl that her dear son had fallen for.

When we almost approached the café, Isabelle held my arm and assisted me to walk the short remainder of the distance to a placed called Mystro Cafe.  The hostess knew Isabelle and greeted her right away.

“Kelly, we need a table right away if it’s possible.  Oh, and some water please,” she asked.  Kelly escorted us to a quiet table in the back and immediately brought a bottle of water and poured two glasses.

“What happened to you out there, Claire.  You don’t look like you’re feeling well.  Should I call George to pick us up right away?” she asked.

I didn’t want to ruin her plans for lunch and I knew my panic attack would soon fade out.  “No, no, I’m fine.  I just got a little scared when that man slid open the door of the van.  I guess I wasn’t expecting that,” I replied.

Isabelle noticed that I didn’t want to continue talking about my very embarrassing moment and changed the subject.  I began to feel a bit better after having some warm soup and bread. 

Isabelle began talking about what she would like to do after she retired and sold her imaging center.  She wanted Richard to retire at the same time as she did so they could travel around the world together.

“He’s getting too old to stand on his feet for those long hours in the operating room.  I’ve been trying to convince him to retire for some time now, but he has such a passion for what he does that retirement has been out of the question,” she said. 

George called long after we finished our lunch to let her know he had picked up the shopping bags from Barneys New York and was outside the café.  Isabelle paid for the lunch as well, as she refused to allow me to take out a penny from my wallet.

Hank greeted us when we returned to the penthouse apartment and escorted us into the elevator, carrying all our shopping bags.  Alex wasn’t home when we returned.  He had sent me a text message to let me know he was out having lunch with Phil and would return shortly.

I decided it was a good time to take a warm bath to help me defrost and relax from the cold out there.  I soaked in the large tub and thought about how I had embarrassed myself while out with Alex’s mother.  I was so angry with myself because of how I had reacted to something so ordinary.  People opened those van doors every single day.  I knew that it didn’t mean someone was going to pull me inside and hurt me.  I began to cry because I wanted so badly to be just like everyone else and live a normal, fearless life, but found it impossible.

Alex came inside and sat down on the edge of the tub, “Hey, baby,” he said as he wiped away my tears that had streamed down my cheek.

“Hi, Alex,” I smiled through my tears.

“How was your shopping spree with my mother?” he asked.

“Oh, Alex, it was so nice and everything was going wonderfully until this white van…” I began.

“I know.  I heard.  So you got a little scared, that’s okay,” he assured.

“No, it’s not okay, Alex.  I almost tackled your mother and grabbed onto her and she could have fallen because of me,” I replied.

“Don’t worry about it, baby.  I spoke to her about it and let her know how you feel about those vans and your nightmares,” he said.

“You told her about the rape?” I asked.

“No, I didn’t tell her that.  I just told her that you were once hurt in a white utility van.  She understood and I didn’t go on with any further details,” he replied.

“Thank you, Alex,” I said.

“Why don’t you finish taking a bath, dress warm, and meet me in the family room.  I think a little ice skating will make you feel better,” he said.

“That’s exactly what I need,” I smiled and reached over as my lips met his.

<><><>

Alex could not have picked a better activity for that evening.  I loved to ice skate, but had only been to the ice skating rink a few times in California.  To ice skate at Central Park was so much more exciting, as it was outdoors and the weather was very crisp and fresh.  I held on tightly to Alex’s arm because I didn’t want to fall and make a fool of myself, since I was a little rusty at first. 

“How was your lunch with Phil?” I asked Alex.

“It was nice.  We had a bite to eat and caught up on things we have been up to.  It’s been a few years since I’ve seen him.  Oh, I hope you don’t mind, but I asked him to stay with us.  It’s too tight at the other place he’s been staying,” he replied.

“Yeah, sure, Alex.  It’s not a problem for me,” I lied.

From the moment I had laid eyes on Phil, I knew there was something about him that made me very uneasy.  But who was I to come between two best friends?  Alex’s parents were leaving early the following morning, so Phil was due to stay with us then.

We skated until it got dark and the beautiful tall buildings lit up along with the ice we were skating on, which lit up a beautiful baby blue color.  New York seemed like such an exciting place to live, I just had to ask Alex why he moved to California.

“Nothing beats the weather in California, baby.  I love the beach, the sun, and the year-round great weather that you can’t find anywhere else,” he replied.

“I agree with you on the weather part as I turn into a human ice cube out here, but it’s so lively and busy.  Maybe I find the fast pace exciting because it’s not something I’m used to,” I noted.

“We could move here if you’d like,” he asked with a grin on his face.

“Umm, I’m not sure if the cold is for me, but I’d love to visit often,” I smiled.

After skating for quite a long time, we decided to head back and join Richard and Isabelle for dinner.  They had an early morning flight the following day and we wouldn’t see them until they returned from Hawaii.  Alex wanted to take me out to dinner, but I declined.

“We can go out every night, but this is their last evening at home before their trip.  I think it would be nice if we hung around for dinner,” I noted.

“You’re right, baby.  Maybe we can go out for drinks after dinner,” he replied.

“I’d love that, Alex,” I said.

Hank greeted us as we entered the building and escorted us to the elevator, taking us up the Blake’s penthouse.

The first thing I noticed as we entered were the suitcases near the door.  Richard and Isabelle must have packed everything and were ready for their vacation.  Maria had put together another feast because the aroma that filled the air made my mouth water.

Isabelle greeted us as we entered the family room, “Hello, lovebirds.  How was the skating?  I hope you will be joining us for dinner,” she said.

“Hi mom.  We had a good time, and yes, we will be joining you for dinner,” Alex replied.

“That’s wonderful,” she beamed.  She then turned to me, “How are you feeling, Claire?” she asked.

“I’m okay, thanks for asking,” I replied.

“That’s great, dear.  Before I forget, the dress and shoes are hidden in my closet,” she winked as she whispered so Alex wouldn’t hear.

“Baby, did you find a dress today?” Alex asked out of the blue.

“Yes we did.  But it’s a surprise, so your mother has stored it away,” I replied.

“You are going to love it, Alex,” Isabelle assured him.  “You can’t see it until she’s dressed up with hair and makeup all done on the day of the gala,” she said.

“Oh no, should I be worried?” asked Alex.

“Oh stop, Alex.  You know your sister gets her great taste from me,” Isabelle replied.  “I should have been a fashion designer also,” she added, looking out into space, daydreaming.  I wondered if Isabelle wanted to be a fashion designer instead of a doctor.

“I know, mom, I’m only kidding,” he replied, giving his mother a hug.

It had only been a few days since I had seen my parents, but I really missed them and decided to give my mother a call.  I headed to the library and made the call. My mother was so excited to hear from me.

“Hi sweetheart, I was thinking about giving you a call and you beat me to it,” she said.

“They say great minds think alike.  How is everything?” I asked.

“Everything is the same here.  How do you like New York?  Did you see the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State Building yet?” she asked.

“Not yet, mom.  We’re still getting settled in.  So far, I went shopping on Madison Avenue and ice skating at Central Park,” I replied.

“How exciting, sweetheart!  Tell Alex we said hello and can’t wait to see you guys when you come back,” she said.

After I hung up, I found Alex in the kitchen, talking to Maria and tasting the food she had cooked.

“Alex, I really think it’s in you to open your own restaurant.  You’ve have a passion for cooking since you weren’t even ten years old,” she told Alex.

“I learned from the best, didn’t I?  On one of the nights I’m here, I will cook for you, Claire, and Phil.  You will get a break from the kitchen for a change.  My treat.  What do you say?” he asked.

“I would love that, Chef Alex,” she replied as her face lit up.

When Alex noticed I had joined them he let me in on his idea about cooking for all of us.  I wondered why he wasn’t going to cook for us when his parents were in town.  I wondered if they would frown upon it.

“You know I would never say no to that, Alex.  You know how much I love your cooking.  I look forward to it,” I replied.

Alex poured himself a glass of scotch and a glass of wine for me.  He started the fireplace in the library and handed me the wine.  I sipped slowly without making much conversation.

“What’s wrong, baby?” he asked.

“Nothing’s wrong.  I’m enjoying the wine in front of the warm fire,” I replied.

“It just seems like you have something on your mind.  It’s like you’re here, but you’re not here.  Does that make sense?” he asked.

“No, not really,” I laughed.

He took the wine glass from my hand and put it on the coffee table next to his glass of scotch.  He took my hands into his, holding them firmly.

“Talk to me,” he demanded.

“I guess I’ve just been thinking about the fall and the miscarriage.  I’ve been thinking about Angela and your past with her.  I’ve been thinking about how I may not fit into your family because I’m not a doctor.  All I do is think.  I can’t get these thoughts out of my head,” I confessed.

“Stop it,” he said sternly.  “If you think I’d rather be with a doctor you are so wrong, Claire.  My past with Angela does not matter because I never will have a future with her in it.  I’m constantly thinking about your miscarriage too, but I’m so grateful you are alive.  You should be grateful too, Claire.”

“You’re right, Alex.  I’m sorry.  I guess I’m just a little emotional, that’s all,” I replied.  He handed me the glass of wine and the small sips from earlier became bigger gulps.  I felt the need for the alcohol to warm me up and calm me down.  I was on vacation with the man I loved and nothing, not even my thoughts, were going to bring me down.

Alex’s father had called to let us know he was running a little late from the hospital and to begin eating without him, as it was getting late.  Maria had chicken stuffed with spinach and cheese that she served with a side of asparagus and a mixed vegetable salad.

“Mmm, if I had a restaurant, this would be on the top of my menu,” Alex said to Maria when she brought us something to drink.

“Thank you, sir.  Please enjoy,” she said before heading back to the kitchen.

“My dear son, why on earth would you want to be a restaurant owner when you are a well known reconstructive surgeon?” she asked, obliviously.

“Mom, I’m not going out and opening a restaurant tomorrow.  I was complimenting her delicious cooking.  Besides, what would be wrong with owning a restaurant anyway?” he asked Isabelle.

“I didn’t say there was anything wrong with it.  I just don’t think it’s for our family or for you.  We come from a long strain of doctors.  It was difficult enough for us to approve of your sister’s career choice,” she added.

“Can we talk about something else?” Alex began to get a bit agitated.  I was very quiet throughout the entire dinner.

Alex’s father arrived after we had just finished eating.  We sat with him at the dinner table while he ate.  He was complaining to Alex about his very busy day, which included a complicated emergency procedure.

“I’m really looking forward to that trip to Hawaii, I can assure you of that,” he said.

“Take a lot of pictures so we can see all the fun you have,” I said.

“We will,” Richard smiled.  “All right, my belly is full and I’m ready to shower and hit the sheets.  We are leaving very early in the morning so we won’t see you two until we return.  Happy New Year,” he said.

“Happy New Year, dad,” said Alex, giving Richard a hug.

“Happy New Year,” I said as I hugged Richard and Isabelle.

They headed to their room to shower and sleep early and Alex had an idea of taking me to a popular jazz place on Broadway.  I changed into a pearl white sequin Prada top, which Isabelle had gotten for me during our shopping spree.  On the bottom, I wore thick black tights with a black Armani mini skirt, also purchased by Isabelle.  My outfit was complete with knee high Christian Louboutin suede boots Alex had gotten for me as a part of my birthday gift while we were in Vegas.

“I’m ready, Alex,” I said after I had changed.  He was half dressed when he turned to look at me.  “You may want to pick your jaw up off the floor now,” I joked.

“You look very sexy in that - so sexy that I’m thinking about staying in tonight,” he said.

“You can undress me after we come back, I promise,” I said.  Alex smiled and continued getting dressed.  He wore dark blue jeans with a tight white button up shirt, with a black belt, black shoes, and a black blazer.  He looked like one of the models from a fashion magazine.

We grabbed our coats, gloves, and scarves and headed downstairs to meet George.

“Where would you like to go, Alex?” asked George.

“Iris on Broadway.  You don’t have to wait for us or come back for us.  We’ll take a cab back, since it will be very late,” he told George.

“Okay sir, as you wish,” he said.

George pulled up in front of a jazz nightclub called Iris.  As we walked inside, I noticed that the lighting was very dim.  I immediately loved the feeling I got when I entered that place.  The bar was long and stood to the left.  There was a long walkway of dimly candle lit tables.  At the end of the bar area, there were more tables near the stage which included a large black grand piano.  The drummer, saxophonist, and guitarist made up the remainder of the stage.  It wasn’t a large place but it was cozy, dark, and somewhat crowded.

We found a small booth near the stage and took a seat, Alex dangerously close to me.  His bright blue eyes sparkled from the candlelight as he put his arm around me.

“What are you drinking tonight, baby?” he asked.

“I was thinking of a watermelon martini,” I replied.

The waiter came by to take our drink orders. Alex ordered the martini that I wanted and a Blue Label for himself.  The band began to play popular songs by famous jazz artists as our drinks began flowing in.  I drank the first martini rather quickly.  Alex ordered a few appetizers to help absorb the alcohol.  I didn’t want to drink too much because the last time I had gotten drunk, I had shared a little too much information with Alex than I would have liked.

We spent hours at that jazz club and both of us had gotten quite tipsy.  Around two in the morning we decided to head outside and grab a taxicab back to his parents’ place.  Alex gave the driver the incorrect address and I had to intervene and change it.  I had much less to drink than he did because I was well aware of my surroundings.

The taxi approached the building and came to a stop.  It took a while for Alex to put together the correct amount of money for the driver, so I assisted with that as well.  After the cab drove off, Alex took my hand and pulled me into the building and into the elevator, not even noticing the concierge and guard at the entrance.

As the elevator doors closed, Alex began kissing me so hard, pushing me against the elevator wall.  He became aggressive, which shocked me because he was always so gentle with me.  I realized he was drunk and didn’t know what he was doing.  I figured he would immediately pass out as soon as we got into the apartment.  He was kissing me so hard that I slowly pushed him off a little bit to give myself some air.  He didn’t like that.

“You d-don’t want me?” he asked, his speech slurred.

“Maybe tomorrow, Alex.  You should sleep.  I think you’re tired,” I replied.

“You bitch!” he yelled.

“What?” I asked, stunned.

“Why did you h-have to fuck him?” he asked, his slurred speech barely audible.

“What are you talking about, Alex?” I asked.

“You’re a whore and a b-baby killer,” he whispered in his drunken state.

He called me a baby killer?  I couldn’t believe it.  The miscarriage wasn’t my fault.

“I hate you, Angela.  I hate you f-f-for k-killing my b-baby and for f-f-fucking Peter and for being such a s-selfish b-b-itch.  I h-h-hate you!” he yelled.

He was so drunk that he thought I was Angela.  I didn’t know what to do when the elevator opened.  I decided to remind him that I was Claire, not Angela.

“Alex, it’s Claire.  Look at me,” I said, smiling.

“Hey, b-baby.  I l-l-love you s-s-s-o much,” he said through his slurred drunken speech. 

“I love you too, Alex.  Now let’s get the key out of your pocket so we can open the door, okay?” I negotiated with him.  I helped him find the key to the apartment and I opened the door.  I escorted drunken Alex to his bedroom to keep him from awakening his parents.  I took off his clothes and shoes and had him lie on his side.  I put a few large bath towels under his head, just in case he vomited.

I took off my shoes and lay down on the foot of the bed, awake for hours because I was afraid to sleep, just in case he got sick.  Alex was out like a light.  He had passed out the minute he got into his bed.

Around seven in the morning I must have dozed off because that was the last time I remembered checking the time.  I woke up when I heard Alex groan from the pain in his head.  I got two painkillers from my bag and handed it to him with a glass of water.

“Baby, why are you still in your clothes from last night?” he asked, confused.  “Oh God, I’m afraid to ask what happened,” he said, his head in his hands.

“Let’s just say it was a very interesting night, Alex,” I replied.

“Shit! I don’t remember anything, baby.  I’m so sorry if I said or did anything to upset you.  Please tell me what happened,” he pleaded.

I told him about the taxicab ride, the wrong address, and how he had difficulty trying to count the money to give to the driver.

“That’s funny.  Is that it?  That’s not bad, baby,” he said.

“That’s only the beginning.  You then became very aggressive, pushed me against the elevator wall, kissing me so hard I thought I was going to lose my teeth.  You then called me a bitch, a baby killer, and asked me why I fucked him,” I noted.

“What?!” he exclaimed.  I told him detail for detail, everything he had done and said and how he had called me Angela.  He got out of bed and stumbled toward me, “Claire, I’m so sorry.  Whatever I said and did was because of the alcohol.  I’m so sorry, baby,” he said as he pulled me toward him, hugging me tightly.

“Maybe next time you should stop drinking before the bottle is empty, Alex.  I couldn’t believe the things you were saying last night.  I understand you thought I was Angela and were saying those things to her, but I was afraid that you were going to hurt me.  I thought because you believed I was Angela that you were going to take your anger and frustrations out on me.  You really need to watch your alcohol intake, Alex,” I said sternly.

  He pulled me closer, my head against his chest as he ran his fingers through my hair.  “I know my apology is not enough.  Saying sorry won’t take back what happened last night.  I promise never to drink like that again, Claire,” he said as he put his fingers under my chin and looked into my eyes.  I knew he was being sincere and would never say or do those things while sober.

“It’s okay, Alex.  Let’s just put this behind us.  You were having a great time and we both had a little too much to drink, well, you had way too much to drink,” I laughed.  “I forgive you.  Let this be a lesson so there’s no next time, okay?” I asked as I gave him a kiss on the lips.

“Why don’t you change into something more comfortable and we can go see what Maria can make.  We’re going to need a nap after breakfast, that’s for sure,” he smiled.  “I will make it up to you, baby.  I promise.  I’m so sorry,” he said before we headed for the kitchen.

<><><>

Maria was surprised to see us up so early.  She was cleaning up from the breakfast she had served Alex’s parents.  They had already left for the airport.

“Good morning, Miss Claire,” she said.  “What would you like for breakfast?”

“Instant oatmeal will do, Maria.  You don’t have to make anything special for me,” I replied.  Alex chose the same and a banana to replace the potassium he had lost from drinking the night before.

“What are your plans for New Years Eve tomorrow, Maria?” asked Alex.

“My daughter, Carmen, and I are going to go to my sister’s house in New Jersey and ring in the New Year there.  What about you two?” she asked.  Alex and I hadn’t planned anything special that I knew about so I just shrugged.

“We will be staying at the W Hotel in Times Square on New Year Eve to ring in the New Year with a view of the ball dropping,” he replied casually.

“Really?” I asked.

“Yes, baby.  Unless you want me to cancel it,” he replied.

“No way, I’m totally looking forward to that.  I’m really excited,” I said as I reached over and kissed him.

“Maria, why don’t you head out this morning and get a head start on your days off.  I will clean up here and we will see you on the second,” Alex offered.

“Oh, but your parents asked that I stay all day today and work,” she replied.

“Well, they’re not here and I think Claire and I can handle things around here so you can have more time to yourself,” he said.

Maria walked over to Alex and gave him a big hug before she headed my way and hugged me as well.  We wished her happy new year and would see her back in just a few days. 

“That was so sweet of you Alex.  She really needs a break.  She works so hard around here, feeding everyone and keeping everything clean,” I said.

“She’s a very sweet lady.  I used to call her mom when I was a little boy because she was around more than my mother,” Alex replied as we both laughed.

“Oh no. I bet your mother wasn’t too happy about that,” I replied.

“No, she wasn’t.  She put a stop to that rather quickly by letting me know that she was my mother and Maria was the housekeeper,” he explained.  “Phil will be staying with us after tomorrow night, when we return from the hotel.  He’s here until the sixth, just one day before we head back to L.A.,” he explained.

“Sounds great,” I smiled, trying hard to disguise the way I felt about Phil, as he gave me the creeps.

We were so sleepy and tired from our adventure the night before that we decided to clean up the kitchen after a nap.  We stumbled to Alex’s room as he closed all the curtains to keep the light from coming inside so we could sleep.  It was warm in the apartment so I took off my sweats and sweatshirt and felt the need to sleep only in my bra and panties.  Alex stripped down to his boxers and joined me, with his arm wrapped around my waist and his nose buried in my tangled hair.

<><><>

When I opened my eyes, I had no idea what time of day it was, since it was so dark in Alex’s bedroom.  I reached for my phone on the nightstand and was surprised to find out that it was past three o’clock in the afternoon.  Alex wasn’t next to me, but I heard footsteps from down the hallway.  The bedroom door swung open and Alex had a tray of food in his hands.

“Wake up, Sleeping Beauty,” he smiled as he put the tray on the foot of the bed and opened the curtains to let some light back into the room.  He walked over to me and gave me a kiss and propped up the pillows behind me so I could enjoy my meal in bed.

“Should we call this lunch in bed?” I asked.

“It’s a little too late for lunch.  Let’s call it early dinner in bed,” he replied.  “It’s lemon caper salmon with a side of string beans and quinoa pilaf.  I hope you like it,” he winked.

“I’m sure I will,” I replied as I began to eat.

“I’m taking you out tonight,” he said.

“Where are we going?” I asked, curiously.

“A nice late dinner, then dancing,” he said with a grin on his face.

“I didn’t bring any dresses for dancing, Alex.  I just packed a lot of warm winter clothes,” I said.

“You always worry about these things, baby.  Did you think I would take you dancing without a new dress and shoes?” he asked.

“Oh, Alex, I really don’t feel like going shopping for another dress and shoes today.  Could we go somewhere else?” I asked.

“I’ve already gotten a dress and matching shoes for you, baby.  I did a little bit of shopping the day you were out with my mother,” he explained, as he left the room to bring the dress and shoes from its hiding place.

“I hope you like it,” he winked.  It was a beautiful one-shoulder bandage dress by Herve Leger with different shades of blue, the darkest blues around the waist.  I had seen the dress while shopping with Isabelle and had also noticed the high price tag.  He took out a shoebox and opened it to reveal a stunning pair of metallic, nude evening sandals by Jimmy Choo.  The shoes were also very sexy, at least four inches high.

“They’re beautiful, Alex.  Both the dress and the shoes.  You have to stop spoiling me like this,” I replied.

“If I don’t spoil you then who will I spoil? We don’t have any kids, so I have to spend all my spoiling on you,” he smiled.

“So, if we had kids, you would stop spoiling me?” I asked.

“No way, spoiling you keeps me alive.  I would spoil our kids just as much, but I would never stop doing these things for you,” he said.

“I have an idea.  Why don’t you continue to spoil me by drawing a hot bubble bath for me and I can spoil you by allowing you to join me?” I asked.

“Coming right up,” he said as his lips met mine.  “Why don’t you finish up the food while I prepare the bath.  I have a feeling you’re going to need all those calories,” he added and headed toward the large bathtub.

I finished eating and put the tray aside so I could get up and out of bed.  I felt as though I lost an entire day because I slept through most of it.  As I entered the large bathroom, Alex had finished drawing the bath, which smelled of lavender and vanilla.  There were many candles surrounding the tub, making it even more romantic.

“Is it to your satisfaction, baby?” he asked, as he stood there with only a towel wrapped around his waste, his blue eyes glistening from the candlelight.

“It’s perfect, Alex,” I replied.

He walked toward me with fire in his eyes as he put his hands around my waist and pulled me closer to him.  My parted lips met his as his tongue met mine.  I felt him unclasp my bra as he pulled down my panties simultaneously.  He walked me over to the tub and helped me step inside.  The water was so hot that I knew it was going to take some time to get used to.  Alex stepped inside as well as we both stood there, facing one another with our naked bodies touching.  My heart began to race as his hands began moving from my back to my bottom and up to my breasts.  His hot lips pressed against mine as he pushed his tongue against mine while his hands headed between my legs as his fingers gently made their way inside.  I could feel his hardness against me as we finally made it into the hot bath water.  Alex sat down and I sat on top of him with our lips never parting.

I turned around with my back to Alex as I sat on him and pushed him into me.  He grabbed on to my hips as he pulled me down so he could penetrate deeper into me.  I moved my pelvis up and down slowly at first, which left him begging for more.  He grabbed my breasts with his hands as I began to quicken my pace.  I tightened myself down there as I penetrated deeper and faster.  I could feel a tingling sensation at the pit of my abdomen as my heart began to pound as though it was going to come out of my chest.  I couldn’t hold on any longer as I came with a loud moan followed by Alex’s groan as he came shortly after I did.

He pulled himself out of me as I pressed my back against him, his arms around my waist.  My head rested on his shoulder as he kissed my neck.

“You really spoiled me this time, baby,” he said.

Chapter 3

I washed and styled my hair, applied a bit of makeup, and slipped into the new dress Alex had surprised me with.  I needed help zipping it, which he helped me with.  It was the perfect fit, as were the new shoes.

“I knew everything would fit like a glove.  It looks so much better on you than the mannequin in the boutique,” he said as he moved my hair away from my shoulder and kissed it softly.

“Thank you, Prince Charming,” I replied with a wink.  “So, where are we going exactly?” I asked.

“Don’t worry about where we’re going.  You and I are going to have great food, then dance the night away,” he replied without any further details.

We took the elevator down to the lobby and headed outside where Alex flagged down a taxicab.  George was on vacation as well and would return after the New Year.

“Helena’s restaurant, please,” Alex informed the taxi driver before making his hand comfortable on my thigh.  The dress was fairly short, making it shorter when I sat down.  Alex didn’t seem to mind at all as his hand moved higher and higher.  I put my hand over his before he reached my panties as I covered myself with my coat.  He smiled, exposing his teeth, whispering, “You’re going to make me wait until we’re home tonight, aren’t you,” he asked.

“The thought did cross my mind,” I replied.

The driver pulled up in the front of our destination and Alex paid the fare.  Once we were out of the taxicab, I rushed into the restaurant before I froze in that short dress with my legs exposed.  It looked beautiful inside with very dim lighting, espresso wood covered floors, ivory table covers and ivory leather chairs.  I noticed a beautiful floor to ceiling modern glass bar on the other side of the restaurant.  The hostess escorted us to a very quiet corner booth Alex had reserved for us.  I took a seat and he planted himself right next to me.

I looked over the menu, but wasn’t sure what to order.  “Alex, will you order for both of us, please?”  I knew I couldn’t go wrong if he ordered, since I trusted his exquisite taste in food.

“Sure, baby.  You won’t be disappointed,” he replied, looking over the menu.

“I haven’t been disappointed yet.  I doubt this will be the first time,” I said, closing my menu and setting it down.

The waiter came to take our order as Alex ordered dinner and drinks for both of us.  The drink he ordered for me sounded like something exotic, which I wasn’t familiar with.

“Alex, I don’t think you should drink tonight.  Remember what happens when you have too much to drink?  I don’t want neither one of us to forget your parents’ address because we’re too drunk to recall it,” I noted.

Alex laughed, “Don’t worry baby.  Tonight, I will drink very little, I promise.  You can drink all you want,” he replied.  I wasn’t sure if I should drink too much around Alex.  I revealed more than I intended to when under the influence of alcohol.  I decided I would pace myself so that I didn’t get drunk.

Once the food arrived, I realized how hungry I had gotten.  Alex had ordered plenty as usual.  We began with lobster bisque and a delicious salad, filet mignon as the main course with sautéed spinach, and ended with crème brulee.  I had finished my fruity, exotic drink before the food had arrived and was feeling a bit tipsy already.

We had eaten so slowly and spent so much time enjoying each other’s company that we hadn’t realized it was already 11 o’clock.  Alex asked for the check so we could head out to wherever he was taking me to go dancing.  I put my coat back on and we headed outside as Alex flagged a cab.  I wasn’t feeling as cold as I had before entering the restaurant.  I had a feeling the alcohol played a part in that.

“Club Red, please,” he said to the driver as soon as we were seated.

“What’s Club Red, Alex?” I asked.

“That’s where I’m taking you tonight, baby.  It’s a nightclub called Red.  I have a feeling you will like it,” he grinned.  “Phil and his date will be meeting us there as well,” he added.  I hoped the club was going to be nice and loud because I wasn’t in the mood for quiet company with Phil.  Was I the only one who got the creeps from that guy?

“Oh ok, that sounds like fun,” I lied.

The nightclub wasn’t too far from the restaurant and the street was quite crowded from what I noticed after getting out of the cab.  There was a long line to enter the club.  Freezing from the cold wasn’t a part of my plan for that night.

“Alex, look at that line.  Are you sure you want to wait?  Is this club really worth standing in that freezing cold line?”  I asked, having a hard time trying to spot the end of the line.

“Who said we were going to wait in line to get in?” he asked, nonchalantly.

“Oh.  Do you have a connection to get us in?” I asked.  Alex just looked at me with the corner of his eye, which answered my own question.

“Alex Blake,” he said to the guard at the entrance.  Without any questions, he stepped aside and let us into the club.  Another young man escorted us as we walked through a long corridor.  I began to hear loud music when we reached a flight of stairs.  He used a key card and opened a large door at the top of the stairs, leading to the nightclub.

“Just walk up this flight of stairs and you will reach your VIP section.  I believe your friends have already arrived,” he informed.  I was reading his lips since it was very loud.

“Thank you,” replied Alex, taking my hand and helping me up the steps.  When we reached the top of the steps, I noticed the beautiful drapes leading to a giant loft area designed like a cage.  There were dark purple and red sofa’s where I noticed Phil was comfortably seated, making out with his date.  They stopped and stood up when they noticed we had arrived.  He introduced his date as Denise, which I had to read lips a few times to catch.  She was very tall and thin with long and dark straight hair.  She had beautiful features like a model.  I wondered what she saw in Phil.

Alex and I took a seat on one of the interestingly shaped sofas, which were quite comfortable.  I looked down below where the main dance floor was and saw people packed together like sardines dancing with hardly any wiggle room.  I was glad we were in the cage loft area and had plenty of room to dance.

When the bartender came around to take our order, Alex asked me what I wanted to drink.  “Just water, please,” I replied.

“Oh come on, baby.  We’re here to party and I’m going to watch my limit.  Just drink, have fun and let yourself go.  I’m the designated navigator tonight to get us home safely by giving the cab driver the correct address,” he yelled into my ear so I could hear him.

“Okay, fine.  Order something fruity for me,” I replied, yelling back into his ear so he could hear.

Denise already looked like she had a lot to drink.  Phil’s hands were all over her, down her dress, up her dress and she didn’t seem to give a care that her hair and makeup was becoming a complete mess.  I looked away when Phil noticed I was observing the two of them and smiled his usual creepy smile.

My fruity drink arrived, which I decided to sip on very slowly, since I did not want to look like Denise after too many drinks.  She had seemed so beautiful and classy when I was first introduced to her, but was soon on the floor.  Phil had to call it a night as he picked her up and escorted her out.  I knew she wasn’t going to be very happy with herself the next morning.

Alex and I enjoyed the remained of the night - just the two of us - dancing and drinking just enough to have a good time, without getting drunk and passing out.  My feet began to throb so I took a seat on the sofa as Alex joined me, his hand immediately on my thigh, working its way higher and higher.  His parted lips met mine as his tongue pushed against mine.  His hand began to head places I didn’t want it to in public.  He stopped when I put my hand on his and hesitated.

“Let’s go home,” he said.  I nodded since we had been there for a few hours and I was ready to get out of the tight dress and shoes.  Alex was sober enough to give the correct address to the cab driver this time and we got to his parents’ building rather quickly.

As we entered the elevator, he pushed me into the corner and pressed his warm lips against mine.  I could feel his hardness against me as I responded to his kisses.  I noticed the elevator hadn’t moved.

“Alex, did you remember to scan your key card?” I asked.

He had forgotten, so he scanned his key, otherwise the elevator would not go up to the penthouse floor.

“You’re presence is so intoxicating that I forget what I am doing when I’m around you,” he replied before the elevator doors opened.  The large apartment was so quiet since everyone was off from work or on vacation.  Alex closed the door behind us as we dropped everything and began to kiss, our kisses echoing in that large foyer.

We somehow ended up in the bedroom with most of our clothing lost on the way.  Alex removed the remainder of my clothing slowly as he kissed every inch of my body.  He lifted me up and lay me down on the soft bed as his tongue headed between my legs, sending shivers down my spine.  He then headed for my breasts, before his warm kisses made it to my neck and ear lobes.  I felt him enter me slowly as I began to lose myself in him.  His every touch, every thrust, and every kiss left me begging for more as though I could not get enough.  I began to convulse as I yelled out, digging my fingers deeper into his back.  He groaned loudly as he came, his warm breath against my neck.

<><><>

The following morning, I woke up to a gloomy New Years Eve morning.  I was excited that we would be ringing in the New Year at the W Hotel in Times Square.  I looked over at Alex who was still asleep and decided to get up and take a shower before I attempted to make a nice breakfast.  As I was slowly getting up, Alex grabbed my arm, “Where are you going so early?” he asked.

“I was going to sneak in a shower and surprise you with breakfast,” I replied.

“I like my breakfast in bed,” he said, pulling me toward him, kissing me hard, his hands gently examining the surface of my naked body.  I kissed him back and slowly pulled away and got out of bed.

“Aww, baby, come back.  Where are you going?” He asked, disappointment in his voice.

“I have an idea.  How about I take a shower and you make breakfast and we can leave the fun stuff for tonight,” I replied.

“You’re no fun,” he pouted.

“I will be tonight, I promise,” I replied as I headed for the shower.

After I was finished taking a shower, I smelled the aroma of pancakes.  I was really looking forward to some comfort food with Alex that morning.  I dried my hair and followed the mouthwatering aroma all the way to the kitchen.

“It smells so good, Alex,” I complimented.

“Good morning, baby.  We have blueberry pancakes and vegetable omelets this morning.  Should I make hash browns?” he asked.

“No, Alex.  Pancakes and omelets are good enough.  I love you for being such a great cook,” I smiled.

“Is that all you love me for?” he asked.

“That and the great sex,” I laughed.  “Not that I can compare it to anyone else.”

“I hope you will never have to compare that,” he replied.

Alex and I enjoyed our breakfast together and I offered to do the clean up so he could take a shower and sip on hot tea with me in the library.  I washed, dried and put everything away while he took a shower.  The kitchen was so big that I had to open several drawers and cabinets to figure out where everything went.  I found mugs and tea bags so I was able to make tea as I had promised. I headed to the library with tea and found Alex standing in front of the window, looking out into the city.

“Ready for some hot tea?” I asked.

“What? Oh yeah, baby, thank you,” he said as he turned to face me.  He looked a little sad to me, as if he was thinking about something unhappy as he gazed outside.

“Is everything okay?” I asked.

“Yeah, I was just thinking of a friend of mine who was hit by a car while crossing the street.  We were only sixteen back then and I remember it like it happened yesterday.  Phil and I were spending the night at his house.  His name was Larry.  We wanted to sneak out and party all night and the easiest apartment building to sneak out from was Larry’s.  It’s too secure here and Phil’s parents’ place wasn’t easy to sneak out from either, without anyone noticing.  So Larry’s folks place it was.  We waited until his parents and sister were sound asleep and quietly snuck out.  We hung out and drank a little and smoked a few joints - you know - normal teenager stuff.

“Larry had a little more to drink and smoke than us and was way ahead of us on our way home.  We called to him to wait for us and to slow down, but he was being funny and running into the middle of the streets, dancing, having a blast.  It was around three o’clock in the morning when he crossed the street without realizing a car was coming full speed.  The next thing we heard were tires as we began to run toward him.  We saw a black Lincoln drive off very fast as Larry lay on the cold ground, dead.  We were so scared.  We felt helpless.  We called the cops, who called delivered us home to our parents and visited Larry’s parents to let them know their son, whom they believed was asleep in their apartment, was dead.  I remember it as if it just happened and wish I could turn back time and prevent it.

“We grew up really fast after that incident, Phil and I.  We felt responsible for what happened to Larry because it was our idea to sleep over at his place and sneak out.  Phil and I were much wilder and bigger troublemakers than Larry.  After that, I valued life so much more and had experienced first hand how easy it was for someone to leave this earth in a matter of seconds.  The worse part of it all was that it happened right before Christmas.  Imagine how difficult the Holidays were for Larry’s parents and sister after that year,” he said.

“I’m so sorry, Alex.  Why didn’t you ever tell me about him?” I asked.

“It’s easy not to think about him so often in California.  But when I’m here in New York, everything reminds me of Larry,” he sighed.  “Thanks for listening, baby.  I’m sorry if I put a damper on the day, but it feels good to talk about it and remember him.  He was a good person,” he replied.

“I’m glad you did, Alex.  You can talk to me about anything.  You should know that by now,” I said, taking his hand.

“You know, sometimes I think about what Larry would be doing these days if he were still alive.  He was much smarter than Phil and I.  I know he would’ve had a great career and a family as well,” he sighed.

“I’ve never lost anyone close to me aside from my grandparents.  I can only imagine how difficult it would be to lose someone so young and so close to you, especially at the young age of sixteen,” I said.

I gave Alex the tea I had made, which wasn’t so hot anymore.  I sipped on my tea as well and thought about the sad story he had just told me.  Life was too short for some people and you never know when it was going to be your time.  I thought about how I could have been killed when I was attacked.  I was lucky to be alive and even more fortunate to have someone like Alex in my life who loved and cared for me so deeply.  He made me feel safe, as though nothing and no one could ever hurt me again.  It was a feeling that I thought I would never feel again.  It was the small things in life that made me feel so happy and content.  I didn’t need a big house, a fancy car, or expensive clothing or shoes.  I had exactly what I had been praying for.  Love.  Happiness.  Alex.

<><><>

We packed a small bag of items for our hotel stay in Times Square for New Years Eve.  We would only be gone for one night and would return the following day.  I enjoyed staying at his parents’ penthouse apartment.  It was very big, yet so cozy at the same time.  Alex locked the door behind us as we took the elevator to the lobby.  Hank greeted us and wished us a Happy New Year before escorting us outside to catch a cab.

“W Hotel in Times Square,” Alex informed the driver and took a hold of my hand.  The city looked busier than ever with people in the Holiday mood about to ring in the New Year.  The taxicab pulled in front of the enormous, modern structure.  There were so many buildings, tall into the sky that I felt a kink in my neck from looking up for so long to see how high they were.

Alex took my hand and led me into the building.  The lobby was beautifully decorated and had a very young appearance.  It was filled with excited people who looked ready to celebrate all night.  There was a long line to check in so Alex asked me to take a seat on one of the sofas in the lobby waiting area while he waited in line.  My phone beeped to notify me of an incoming text message.  It was from Katherine.

Hey you!  Haven’t heard from you in days.  Just wanted to see how you and Alex are doing and wish you an early Happy New Year.  Miss you.

Hey Kathy! I’m so sorry I haven’t texted you in a while.  I miss you too.  Alex and I are doing great, thanks for asking.  Hope you and John are good as well.  What are your plans for New Years Eve?

We’re good and we don’t have any plans.  I wish you guys were here so we could go out or something.  I guess we have to wait until you’re back in town.  See you soon!

I missed Katherine so much and hoped she would have had something fun planned to celebrate.  It made me sad to know she didn’t have any plans for New Years Eve.  It was taking quite a bit of time for Alex to get us checked in since the line was very long.  He winked and smiled at me as he was on his cell phone.  I decided to kill some time by calling my mother to see how she and my father were doing.

“Hi mom,” I began, “I just wanted to check in and see how you and dad are doing and wish you a Happy New Year,” I said.

“Hi sweetheart!  We are doing great, how are you?  What do you think of New York?  Where are you now, honey?” she asked.

“I love it here, mom.  There’s so much to do and the city is so alive with tons of things to do,” I replied.

“That’s wonderful, dear.  What are you doing now?  Any plans for tonight?” she asked, curiously.

“I’m in the lobby of the W Hotel in Times Square.  I’m waiting for Alex to check us in.  I’m so excited because we are going to have a view of the ball dropping from our hotel room.”

“That sounds amazing, sweetheart.  I’m so glad to hear you’re happy and are having a great time.  Say hello to Alex and we wish the two of you a wonderful New Year,” she said.

After I hung up, I noticed Alex was next in line to check us in.  He was still on his phone, smiling and winking whenever he looked over at me.  My phone was suddenly bombarded with text messages from Katherine, Laura, Molly, and my brother Kyle.  I didn’t know who to reply to first.

Alex showed up with the keys to our room so I decided to get settled in there before I respond to the many messages I had received.  We walked over to the elevator, which would take us to our suite.

“Which floor is the room on, Alex?” I asked.

“You’ll see, baby,” he smiled.  I had a feeling it was going to be a very beautiful suite because Alex didn’t know how to do such things in moderation.  I was right.  Alex had booked a two-story suite with the largest terrace I had seen.  The suite must have been at least two thousand square feet, if not bigger.  It had so many unique architectural features.  I headed out onto the terrace and inhaled the fresh, cold air, admiring the view.

“It’s perfect, Alex.  I don’t think we needed something so extravagant, but it’s amazing,” I said as I threw my arms around his neck and kissed his soft lips.

“Why don’t we change?  I want to head down to the bar for a few start up drinks.” he asked, looking at his watch.

“It’s so nice in here, Alex.  Don’t you want to stay for a while and have a little fun?” I asked, teasing him by unbuckling his belt.  He laughed as he grabbed my hand and stopped me.  It was odd behavior for him, I thought.  Normally he would have undressed me within seconds.

“Baby, I want more than anything to be undressed by you, but lets have a few drinks before we come back here and have all the fun we can handle,” he replied, grinning.

“Okay,” I replied, still a little confused that he had turned me down like that.  I decided not to think anything of it and changed into a little black strapless bustier dress by Valentino, gold spiked Christian Louboutin pumps with trendy gold accessories to go along with it.  I completed my look with the perfect shade of red lipstick.

Alex had changed quickly and was waiting in the living room on the first floor of the suite.  He did a double take when he noticed me coming down the stairs.

“Wow.  I changed my mind about going down to the bar,” he said, his eyes wide with excitement as he got up from the sofa and began walking toward me.

“Now, now,” I began, “we have plenty of time for that later.  There is no way I’m going to let you mess up my hair and makeup after it’s done when you had the chance earlier, but declined,” I replied, as I turned and began walking away from him.

I could hear him quickly catching up to me with a sly grin in his voice, applying his hand firmly on the small of my back.

“I’m going to fuck you so hard tonight that you’re going to spend all of tomorrow smoothing out the tangles in your hair,” he said into my ear with hunger in his voice.

“Don’t be so sure of yourself, Dr. Blake.  I will be the judge and determine if you will even share a bed with me tonight,” I replied.

Alex looked at his watch again while his phone beeped with a new text message.  I didn’t want to be nosey and ask him why he kept looking at the time and the constant text messages, but it began to make me feel uneasy.  The last time he was consistently on the phone, stepping away from me was because he was hiding the fact that he was married.

What I had said must have just registered in his mind because he stopped typing on his phone and asked, “What’s that supposed to mean, Claire?”

“It means exactly what I meant for it to mean, Alex,” I replied.

“What is your problem?  Why the sudden attitude?” he asked, his electric blue eyes piercing daggers into mine.

“I don’t have an attitude, Alex.  Apparently, only you determine when we have sex.  You have been on that phone texting since we got here today.  You don’t need to hide anything from me, Alex.  I think that after finding out your biggest secret - the wife you were hiding from me - nothing could shock me.  What is going on, Alex?” I demanded an answer.

“Claire, I swear to you, I don’t have any secrets.  You know everything there is to know about me.  It’s just a few messages from people from work.  There are some issues we need to sort out, that’s all,” he answered.

“Since when do your colleagues text message you instead of calling you?” I asked.  I didn’t buy what he was trying to sell me.

“Baby, please.  I swear I’m telling the truth,” he replied, but I could tell he was lying.

“Then maybe you should show me a few of the messages.  I’m still not buying it, Alex.  You’re lying and I can feel it,” I said firmly.

“Please Claire, let’s just go to the bar.  We can talk about it there,” he pleaded.

“That’s a great idea now that I need a drink or two.  Or three,” I said with anger in my voice and headed toward the door.

Alex followed along with the beeping sound on his phone as more messages came in.  He replied quickly and turned off the volume, looking at me uncomfortably.

We were both quiet in the elevator.  I knew that if I spoke to him I would say something hurtful, so I decided to stay quiet.  It seemed like hours had passed before the elevator doors opened up.

He took my hand to guide me into the direction of the bar.  He opened a glass door, leading us into a beautiful and trendy bar called Oyster.  Large windows revealed a beautiful view of Times Square.  The back wall of the bar included a bright orange lit up onyx wall with black suede bar stools.  I noticed the onyx wall change from orange to blue, then green.  I liked the many changing colors as the bartenders worked quickly to serve the crowded bar.

In the middle of the lounge were modern, square shaped tables and white leather sofas.  People looked very comfortable as they were seated, mingling and enjoying their cocktail.

“What would you like to drink,” Alex asked.

“Get me something strong.  I’m going to find an empty sofa,” I said dryly and headed to the far end of the bar and found a large corner area and took a seat on one of the sofas.  A few moments later, Alex showed up with our drinks and took a seat next to me.

“So, how long are you going to give me the cold shoulder?” he asked.

“As long as you keep lying to me, which may be forever for all I know,” I replied.

Alex remained quiet, which wasn’t usual for him.  Why wasn’t he arguing with me?  Why was he so quiet and not defending himself?  I began to sip slowly on the cocktail while I waited for him to say something – anything - to answer the questions in my head.  I noticed a group of people walking toward us.  I knew I recognized them, but couldn’t completely make out who they were until they got closer and closer.  When I realized who they all were, I jumped off the sofa and put my cocktail down.

It was my best friend Katherine and her boyfriend, John, Laura from work and her fiancé, Robert, my brother Kyle and his girlfriend, Molly, and my brother Calvin.

“Surprise!” they yelled.

I must have looked so confused, wondering why and how they were all in New York, that Katherine had to come forward and inform me, “Your wonderful boyfriend, Alex, invited us all here to come and surprise you by spending New Years Eve here at this hotel,” she said.

It all began to clear up at that point.  Alex had been on the phone texting all of my friends and family, planning a wonderful surprise for me, but I had accused him of lying to me and hiding secrets.  I felt like such a jerk.

I gathered myself and hugged everyone, letting them know how happy I was to know I would spend New Year’s Eve with them.  I didn’t even need to introduce Laura to Katherine and Molly, since they had become well acquainted with one another, thanks to Alex and the amazing surprise.

When I noticed Alex wasn’t around, I began looking for him and found him at the bar.  I excused myself and headed toward the bar to apologize to him for my doubts.  I took a seat on the stool next to him.

“Alex, I’m so sorry about earlier.  I shouldn’t have doubted you and should know by now that I can trust you,” I said.

“Did you really think I could ever lie to you or hide anything from you after what we’ve already been through together?” he asked.  “What really bothered me is that you kept accusing me of lying to you and even threatening to sleep in the bed without me.”

“I know, Alex, and I’m sorry.  I didn’t realize you were trying to surprise me and had to be at this bar at a certain time.  I really thought you were brushing me off,” I said, taking his hand.  “Can we kiss and make up so we can party all night?” I asked.

“What about your lipstick?  Won’t it come off?” he joked, smiling.

“It’s kiss proof,” I replied, as my red lips met his.

Alex finished ordering drinks for everyone and we headed to the sofa and joined them.  I was so happy at that point and knew I was going to have the time of my life that night, welcoming the New Year with almost all of the people in my life I loved most.

Chapter 4

My excitement grew tremendously as I mingled with my friends and brothers.  I had heard so much about Laura’s fiancé, Robert, but had never met him personally.  I thought how wonderful it was to finally meet the man Laura was going to marry in the spring, since I was invited to the wedding.  Robert seemed very nice and polite and I could tell he really cared about Laura.  I would hate to see her with someone like Phil, and was glad that Robert seemed to be the complete opposite.

“I’m going to get you another drink.  Do you want the same, or something different?” Robert asked Laura.

“The same, please,” she replied.

When Robert headed for the bar, I told Laura that I approved of him and she had my permission to spend the rest of her life with him.  We laughed, as Katherine joined in on the conversation.

“That’s a beautiful ring, Laura.  Congratulations,” she said.

“Thanks,” Laura replied.

I knew Katherine examined engagement rings, since she hoped John would ask her to marry him one day.  John loved her more than anything in the world and I knew that in given time, when he was more financially stable, he would pop the question.  I reminded her that Valentine’s Day was just around the corner.

Katherine smiled, “You always know how to cheer me up.  Thanks,” she said.

Robert returned with a fresh cocktail for Laura.  When Alex asked everyone if they would like a fresh cocktail, I declined, since I was already feeling a bit lightheaded from the two strong ones I had. 

My brother Calvin planted himself next to me and we caught up on a number of things new in his life.  Calvin had just come out and told me he was gay not too long ago.  I was proud of him for coming forward and not hiding and pretending anymore.  His eyes lit up when I asked him if there was anyone special in his life.

“I knew you were going to do this to me, sis,” he said, blushing.

“Why are you turning beet red?  It’s just a simple question,” I replied.

“Yes, there is, if it makes you feel better to know,” he replied.

“So tell me more about him.  Is he cute?” I winked.

“He’s everything and then some more after that,” he chuckled.  “He’s here with me, actually,” he added.

“He’s here?  Where?” I asked, looking around.

“He’s upstairs, in our room.  Don’t worry, he will be with all of us during the ball drop,” he replied.

“What’s his name?” I asked.

“His name is Chad and I’m confident you will approve of him,” he replied, very sure of his statement.

I smiled, “I can’t wait.”

I caught up with my brother Kyle and his girlfriend Molly.  They were both very stressed with school, so they were happy Alex invited them to New York for some rest, relaxation, and a bit of partying.

“It was much needed,” Molly said.

“I’m so happy you are all here.  I still can’t get over what an amazing surprise this is,” I said, turning to Alex.  “Thank you, Alex.  I love you,” I said sincerely.

“Nothing makes me happier than watching you light up with joy.  I love you too, baby,” he replied.

“All right, all right, all this love between you two is nauseating,” said Phil, as he arrived with a different girl than the night before.  “Good evening, everyone, I’m Phil and this is my date Cheyenne,” he introduced his tall, blond date.  I wondered what these beautiful women saw in Phil.

Alex greeted Phil and Cheyenne and ordered drinks for them as well.  Cheyenne seemed a little shy, unlike Phil.  He began to mingle and got to know everyone rather quickly.  I caught a glimpse of Katherine who didn’t seem to take a liking to him.  She was a good judge of character and I couldn’t wait to speak with her privately to get her opinion on Phil.

“Okay, here’s the plan for the night.  You are all invited to our suite to party all night.  I have ordered food and there’s a bar with all the alcohol you desire.  This is Claire and my first New Year together and I want all of us to have a great time until sunrise.  So, why don’t you go freshen up, change, shower and do whatever it is you need to do to prepare yourselves to eat and drink the night away.  Oh, Claire, by the way, we will be here for two nights, not one,” he winked.

We mingled for a few more minutes before everyone decided to head upstairs and freshen up and meet us in our suite an hour later.  As soon as we entered our room, I immediately took of my heels and sat on the sofa, my feet elevated.  Alex sat next to me with a drink he had fixed for himself.

“Are you having a good time, baby?” he asked.

“Yes, I am.  How did you get everyone to come here?” I asked.

“As soon as I planned this trip, even before I bought our plane tickets, I contacted everyone to make sure they were able to take time off from work,” he replied.

“I’m impressed, Alex.  You did such a great job keeping it a secret from me that I didn’t even suspect a thing,” I smiled.

“I know.  You only suspected that I had another secret wife or lover I was hiding from you,” he laughed.

“Oh, stop,” I teased.   “You were being so sneaky.  What was I supposed to think?” I asked.

“I was so afraid you were going to demand that I show you the text messages.  I didn’t want you to find out that way.  I’m glad you were surprised, baby,” he said, taking my hand into his.

Just then, the doorbell rang and Alex got up to answer the door.  It was the caterers with the food, drinks, and champagne.  He had ordered enough food to feed an army.  The large counter next to the bar was set up with roast beef, sea bass, and creamed chicken breast.  Finger foods and salads took up the remainder of the space.  I don’t know if I was very hungry or if the food was going to be delicious because my mouth began to water.

Alex had four bottles of Cristal champagne delivered on ice.  When I asked him why he had ordered so much food and champagne, he replied with, “Actually, I was wondering if this would be enough.”  At first I thought he was joking, but he wasn’t.  He was serious and he believed there was a chance we might run out of food and champagne.

“Alex, we can always order more if this isn’t enough.  Let’s see how it goes,” I replied and he agreed.

We had a few samples of the food since we were both so hungry and didn’t know if we could wait any longer to eat.  I heard a knock on the door shortly after we had sampled a few dishes.  I opened it to find Calvin standing next to a good looking, tall, dirty blond, blue-eyed young man.  I knew it had to be Chad because Calvin was beaming with joy.

“Good evening, gentleman, and welcome to our party,” I smiled.

“Good evening, sis.  Chad, this is my sister, Claire, and her boyfriend Alex.  This is Chad, my partner,” he introduced the handsome young man.  I could see immediately what Calvin saw in him.  He seemed warm and friendly.  He was so handsome and easy on the eyes.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you two.  Calvin has told me such wonderful things about the two of you.  Thank you for having us,” he said with a smile that could light up the world.  I could tell Calvin was happy because he was glowing with excitement.  He didn’t have the distant, troubled look on his face that he used to have before he came out with his homosexuality.  He finally looked happy and content, and that made me even happier.

Alex showed Chad and Calvin around and walked them over to the food and beverages.  There was another knock on the door, as the rest of the party arrived simultaneously.  Everyone was in such a festive mood, which added more excitement.  Alex turned up the music as everyone ate, drank and danced.  We were having such a great time that we didn’t realize it was only ten minutes to midnight.  We prepared the champagne flutes, put on our coats, and headed outside onto the verandah to wait for the ball to drop.  It was cold, but we were dressed appropriately, anxiously waiting for midnight.

The sound of laughter and joy was carried up all the way to the top of the hotel building as people awaited for the crystal ball to finally drop.  The countdown began, and before I knew it Alex kissed me and said, “Happy New Year, baby.  I love you,” as he popped one of the champagne bottles open. 

Confetti filled the streets of Times Square.  We all hugged and wished one another a Happy New Year.  Phil was the last one I approached.  I wanted to avoid him altogether, but did not want to be rude.

“I always save the best for last,” he said with a perverted grin across his face.

“Happy New Year, Phil,” I replied, formally, giving him a quick hug before I walked away.

It was too cold outside to stay out any longer so we decided to continue the celebration indoors.  Alex refreshed my champagne glass as well as everyone else’s.

“Where’s John and Kathy?” he asked.

“I don’t know, Alex.  Didn’t they come inside with us?” I replied.

Alex took a hold of my arm and spun me around so I could see what he wanted me to see.  John and Kathy were still out on the verandah, John down on one knee, proposing to Katherine.  Her hands covered her mouth from shock.  She nodded, yelled out what looked and sounded like a “yes” and threw her arms around John.  He applied an engagement ring on her finger and they kissed with more passion than I had ever seen between them.  I was the first person she ran to when they came inside.

“Claire!” she screamed as she showed me the beautiful engagement ring on her finger.  I jumped up and down as tears of happiness filled my eyes.

“I’m so happy for you, Kathy.  We were kind of watching from here,” I winked.  I turned to John, “You know Kathy’s like the sister I never had, right?  So, with that said, welcome to the family.  I’m so happy for you two and can’t wait for the big day,” I said.  Katherine was still shaking from all the excitement as everyone congratulated the newly engaged couple.

Alex pulled me aside and planted a kiss on my lips. “That’s going to be you and I one day, Claire,” he assured.

“Oh, Alex, you’re still married to another woman,” I reminded him.  His smile turned upside down.

“Don’t say that, Claire.  It’s not like I want to be married to Angela.  Divorce doesn’t happen overnight,” he replied.

“I know.  I’m sorry,” I said.

“Hey, Kathy,” I whispered, approaching her, “You didn’t use waterproof mascara, did you?” I asked as her eyes widened.

“Oh my God.  I have mascara running down my face, don’t I?” she asked.  I nodded as she rushed to the powder room to clean her face.

Alex turned up the music as we drank some more and danced for hours.  My feet had gotten so numb that I didn’t feel the pain anymore.  It wasn’t until five o’clock in the morning when everyone began excusing themselves back to their hotel rooms.  Alex offered to run a hot bath so we could soak in it for a while.

“That sounds like a dream come true right now.  I will be up in less than two minutes,” I said, wondering how I was going to get up from the sofa I had dropped myself on.  I began unzipping my dress, picked up my shoes and headed upstairs to the master bedroom.  I removed accessory after accessory before stepping into the bathroom to find at least a dozen candles surrounding the large hot tub.  Alex stood there with only a bath towel, which hung low.

“What took you so long?” he asked, the candlelight adding an extra glow to his bright blue eyes.

“I was undressing,” I replied.

“It looks like you forgot to remove a few items,” he said, gazing down at my bra and panties.

“It looks like you forgot a towel around your waist,” I replied, yanking the towel off.

“Oh, I like this game,” he replied, unclasping my bra with one hand and removing my panties with the other.  I didn’t know whether it was the many glasses of champagne in my system, but my heart began to skip a few beats when his hot lips met mine.

He helped me inside the scolding hot tub.  I needed a few minutes to get used to the heat Alex liked.  He didn’t have a problem immediately soaking into it, but I hesitated.  The slower I got into the water, the easier it was to grow accustomed to that kind of heat.  I sat in front of him, facing him, as my hand headed for his hardness and my lips for his lips.  His tongue pushed against mine through my parted lips, his hand on the back of my head, guiding my tongue closer to his, if that was even possible.

I turned around and sat between his legs, my back against his chest.  I could feel his hardness against the small of my back as he caressed my breasts before moving his hands down to my abdomen before stopping between my legs.  He moved my hair away from my neck with one hand and entered me with the fingers of the other hand.  I moaned as he began kissing my neck, his tongue moving slowly against my ear.  I had the chills in that hot water.  I turned back around to face him, my thighs wrapped around him as I pushed his erection into me.  He groaned and kissed me passionately, his wet hands cupping my face.

The water had become only lukewarm as I moved up and down, pushing him deeper inside of me each time.  My breathing quickened, as did my heartbeat.  He pushed himself into me as I pushed him deeper and deeper as I quickened my pace before neither one of us could continue.  He moaned into my mouth as he kissed me hard and we came together, holding onto one another.

<><><>

I opened my eyes to find a bit of sunlight filling the room the next morning.  It took me a few minutes to realize where I was.  I looked on my phone to find out it was past one o’clock in the afternoon.  Alex was sound asleep next to me, both of us naked.  I didn’t want to wake him up so I responded to the many text messages I had received from my mother and Stefano.  My mother was so excited to hear about my reaction to the surprise.  They had spent New Year’s Eve with their neighbors, Pat and Cynthia Crow, which they had grown very close to.

Stefano and Mandy had spent the night celebrating in Los Angeles with friends.  I began to feel a little homesick, but felt at ease when I turned and looked at Alex, who was still sound asleep.

I headed downstairs quietly to get some water since I felt so parched from all the alcohol the night before.  It wasn’t long before I heard Alex call my name, “Claire?  Baby?  Are you here?” he asked in a drowsy, half asleep state.

“I’m down here, Alex,” I replied.

“Come up here, baby.  I don’t want to start the first day of the year without you by my side,” he said.  I finished the rest of the water and went upstairs to the bedroom of the suite.  “What time is it?” he asked.

“It’s past one o’clock,” I replied.

“I swear it feels like it should be much earlier,” he said, his eyes still half closed.  “Come here,” he commanded, reaching his arm open for me to crawl into.  “I don’t want to do anything.  I just want to hold you in my arms and tell you how much I love you and how lucky I am to have you in my life,” he confessed.

“I love you too, Alex.  If you told me a few months ago that I would be in your arms right now, I wouldn’t have believed you.  Should I pinch myself?  Am I dreaming?” I asked.

“Nope.”

Just then, Alex pinched my arm hard as I yelled, “Ouch!”

He began to laugh, “Believe me next time when I tell you you’re not dreaming,” he said.  I punched him hard on his arm, “Damn, baby, I guess they’re right when they say never to piss of a Scorpio,” he said as he held his arm.  “You do realize that I need this arm for surgery, right?” he added.

“Oh, sorry, I forgot.  I will make sure to hurt you down below next time,” I winked.

His face became serious as he pulled me closer to him, his lips approaching mine slowly.  I melted into his half closed, dreamy blue eyes and lost myself in his soft, moist lips.  I was definitely not dreaming.  I was awake and alive.  I was in love with Alex and everything about him.  He turned himself on top of me, moved my hair away from my neck and shoulders as his warm breath caressed every inch of my neck.  I felt short of breath as my heart began to race.

“I thought you didn’t want to do anything,” I whispered into his ear.

“I suddenly changed my mind,” he replied, his breathing heavy, his chest pressing against my breasts.  I could feel his hardness against me.  I wanted to reply.  I wanted to speak, but his lips didn’t part from mine and his tongue pushed against mine as he groaned.  I felt him inside of me, pushing his pelvis toward me as I responded.  His hands clasped into mine as he continued to make love to me.  I didn’t want him to stop.  I wished we could make love until the end of time, our bodies entwined.  He turned my body around on all fours as he penetrated me from that position.

“Ahh!” I felt sweat trickle down my back as he grabbed on to my hips, pulling my body closer to his as he thrust his pelvis, penetrating deeper into me.  He removed himself from me and turned me back around on my back, entering me again, igniting my fire.  Our breathing heavy, our hearts racing as we responded to one another as never before, we continued.  Our body wet with sweat, we pushed ourselves into one another until neither one of us could continue.  We came into one another before we lay in that bed, spent.  He held onto me as I continued to hold onto him, neither one of us letting go, as we somehow drifted off into the land of sleep.

<><><>

I was awakened by the sound of my phone.  It was Katherine asking if we were awake yet and wanted us to meet them along with the rest of the gang.  I asked her to give us an hour so that I could shower and fix myself up a bit.  After all, it was the first day of a new beginning.  I didn’t want to look like a mess on that day of all days.  I woke up Alex with a kiss and told him about Katherine’s phone call.

“I’m getting up, baby.  I will join you in the shower.  God only knows I need a cold one to wake up,” he joked.  Alex and cold showers just didn’t go together, so he joined me for a very hot one.

The ringer on his phone was so loud we could hear it ringing all the way in the shower.  We finished showering and dried off as he wrapped the towel around his waist and headed to the bedroom to see who had called him.  I dressed and dried my hair as he checked his voice messages.

“It was Taryn,” he said.  Taryn Simmonds was not my favorite person in this world.  She was obviously in love with Alex and had an agenda for me by trying to ruin my career months ago.  I hoped Alex wouldn’t return her call, but unfortunately he felt he had to, since she was the director of the Recovery Unit at the hospital.  “Hey, Taryn.  Thank you.  We wish you a very happy New Year as well.  Yes, we are still in New York.  Okay. I will. Thanks for calling,” he ended the conversation quickly.  “She was wishing us a Happy New Year,” he added.

“Among other things,” I joked.  “Did she ask you what you are wearing?” I asked.

“No, baby, she didn’t.  I should’ve told her that she interrupted our fucking session,” he replied.

“I’m sure she will call again soon.  You can have the pleasure of telling her that then,” I winked and headed to the vanity area to dress up my face.

We had planned to meet everyone at the steakhouse downstairs.  I suddenly realized how hungry I was when my stomach began to growl loudly in the elevator.  Alex heard my stomach growl, “I better feed you right away, baby.  All that alcohol last night and not enough eating can really do that to you,” he laughed as we walked out of the elevator.  “Not to mention all the calorie burning sex,” he whispered into my ear.

We walked into the steakhouse to find everyone waiting for us to arrive so we could be seated at once.  I noticed Phil was alone, so I asked about his date from last night, “Where is Cheyenne?”

“She couldn’t stay,” he answered shortly.  When I looked around and caught a glimpse of Katherine, Molly, and Laura, the look on their faces told me something had happened before Alex and I arrived.

“Is everything okay, bro?” Alex asked Phil.

“Yeah, everything is cool.  She just couldn’t take a joke, I guess,” replied Phil with a smirk across his pale face.  The hostess walked over with the menus in her hand and escorted us to our table.  I sat across from Katherine and admired her shiny new engagement ring.  She was glowing with joy and so was John.  I couldn’t wait for them to tie the knot one day.

I excused myself to go to the restroom and Katherine said she needed to go as well and quickly stood up and followed me.  I knew it was because she wanted to tell me what she knew about Phil and Cheyenne.  The second we entered the ladies room, she began, “We were standing inside, waiting for you guys.  You know the entrance to the restaurant is all glass, right?” she asked as I nodded.  “Well, they stood right outside the door and looked like they were having an argument.  Cheyenne slapped him hard.  She was so angry, Claire.  I don’t know what he said to her, but she called him an arrogant asshole and stormed off,” she explained.

“Oh that’s interesting.  I wonder what he said to her.  He called it a joke, but who knows, maybe he said something awful for her to take off like that.  I can’t stand him, Kathy, there’s something dark about him that I just can’t put my finger on.  I do know he’s a pervert, that’s for sure,” I said, telling her about the first night I met Phil at the bar near Alex’s parents’ place.

“I’d stay as far away from him as possible, Claire,” Katherine advised.

“I really need to pee,” I said as we laughed and did our business and headed back to join everyone.

“What took you girls so long?  I was about to send the cops to find you,” said Phil with a sly grin.

“I don’t know about you Phil, but we like to wash our hands after we urinate,” replied Katherine, followed by a burst of laughter from everyone at the table.

“Phil, bro, you should know better than to ask a woman why she takes so long in the ladies room,” said Alex.

<><><>

Everyone was free to do whatever they pleased that day, since they would all be leaving New York the following day.  Most businesses were closed, but they could still go sight seeing while they were here.  Alex and I chose to stay in and relax, as it was our last night at the hotel, before we returned to his parents’ apartment.  Phil would be staying with us at the apartment during the final few days of his visit.  I wasn’t too thrilled about that, but would endure his unwanted presence for Alex.

While the others headed out from the steakhouse, Alex and I decided to check out the bar next door, which seemed full of people who weren’t satisfied from all the partying on New Years Eve.  I felt my energy return after eating and drinking plenty of water, so I was ready for a little bit of alcohol.  Alex found a few seats at the bar and we settled there, enjoying the music the DJ was playing.

“What would you like to drink, baby?” he asked.

“I think a shot of straight tequila would hit the spot,” I replied.

Alex’s eyes widened, as I normally ordered mixed, fruity drinks.  “Living dangerously, I see,” I replied.

“Only when I’m with you,” I replied.

“A shot of Don Julio 1942 for my lady and a Blue Label on the rocks for me, please,” he ordered.

“You always live dangerously with your infamous scotch, Alex,” I noted.

“Only when I’m with you,” he mumbled into my ear.

After about seven shots of tequila, I could feel myself go numb.  I knew I had reached my limit when my tongue and lips felt numb.  Alex had ordered another shot for me, but I declined it, as I didn’t want to get drunk.  My intention was to drink enough to have a buzz, but that seemed to be pushed over to borderline drunk, so the eighth shot was not an option.  Alex had had quite a few drinks himself, which had put him along the same level as I.

Approximately an hour passed by before I took the eighth shot.  Alex had his last drink and took my hand and walked me to the elevators.  I could tell from the way he looked into my eyes that he was hungry.  He was hungry for sex.  He was hungry for whatever it was he was planning on doing once we got to the room.

The elevator was full of people otherwise I knew he would begin to undress me.  He undressed me with his eyes instead.  His hand on the small of my back headed lower to my bottom, as he gripped tightly.

We arrived to our room to find housekeeping had paid us a visit.  She smiled when we entered, “Oh, hello, I’m almost done,” she said.

“Take your time,” I replied, smiling at Alex.

He shook his head at me in disappointment.  I knew he was going to tear off my clothes once that woman left the room.  My head began to spin a little bit so I decided it would be best to take a seat on the sofa until the dizziness wore off.  I knew I shouldn’t have taken the last shot of tequila.  Alex planted himself right next to me, his hand on my thigh.  He began kissing me hard.  He didn’t care if anyone was watching.  He didn’t care if anyone could see what we were about to do next.  I had so much alcohol in my body that I didn’t give much of a care either.

I heard the door open and close and realized that the housekeeping lady left.  I wasn’t sure if she had finished the job or if she felt uncomfortable around us dry humping.  I felt my face get hot as Alex nearly tore off my clothes.  I could feel my heart pound with anticipation, excitement, and lust.

“I thought she’d never leave,” Alex said.  “Now I can fuck you into next week,” he added as the fumes of hard alcohol filled the air between us.

The next thing I knew, our naked bodies were skin to skin.  His warm breath brushed against my neck as his tongue slid along my earlobe, sending shivers down my spine.  His warm lips met mine as his tongue pressed against mine.  His middle finger ran across my collarbone and down to my hard nipple before he slowly moved it down south inside of me.  He added another finger, “I love it when you’re this wet,” he said as he moved his fingers in and out continuously.

His lips never left mine as he entered me.  I could feel his hardness pushing deeper inside of me.  As numb as I had been from all the alcohol, my senses were now on overdrive.  I felt every bit of him inside my body, through my veins.

“I can never get enough of you, Claire.  You always leave me wanting more and more,” he whispered into my ear as he penetrated slowly, making me beg for more.  He got up and into a sitting position on the sofa as I sat on him, facing him, my legs straddling him.  I pushed my pelvis into him and he responded, pushing himself deeper into me.  My heart began to pound into my ears as I felt a tingling sensation inside my abdomen.  “Come for me, baby.  I’ll come with you,” he whispered as I pushed him deeper inside of me one last time.

“Ahhh!” I yelled out as I moaned in ecstasy as Alex groaned.  I felt the sweat trickle down my back.  His forehead was moist with sweat as well as he pressed it against my chest.  We held each other for the longest time, both of us exhausted.

He kissed me softly on my lips and whispered, “I love you, Claire.  I don’t know what I would do without you in my life.”

<><><>

I was running as fast as I could run.  I knew I had to pass the white van before someone jumped out of it to hurt me.  The shadow of the one chasing me was getting closer and closer.  I gasped for air as I kept running, almost about to pass the white van until the side door slid open and a pair of dirty hands tried to grab me.  The one behind me caught up to me and grabbed me from my waist as I felt my legs give way from beneath me.

I found myself sitting up in the bed of the hotel suite, Alex sitting next to me, consoling me, “It’s ok, baby, just another nightmare,” he reminded me, his arm around my shoulder.

I didn’t need to get up and change out of sweaty clothes because I was already naked.  I guess Alex and I had ended up in the bed after our session of hot sex on the sofa earlier.  It was already dark outside so I looked on my phone to see what time it was.  It was nine o’clock at night.  I couldn’t believe how long we had napped.  There were several missed calls and texts from everyone, asking if we could meet downstairs for dinner and drinks before they had to fly back to Los Angeles the following day.

We made arrangements to meet an hour later at the bar Alex and I had been to earlier that day.  I vowed not to drink as I had that day for the remainder of my visit.  Alex laughed and told me he loved it when I drank.  We changed into something comfortable and met the rest of the gang at the bar.  Phil wasn’t there because he wasn’t going back home just yet.  I was going to have the honor of his presence for yet another week.  Lucky me.

Katherine was still glowing with happiness from the proposal from John on New Years Eve and couldn’t wait to go back home to show off her beautiful engagement ring.  Kyle and Molly loved New York and said they were definitely going to return for a much longer visit.  Calvin looked so happy with Chad.  I had never seen him so happy since he was born.  It filled my heart with joy to see he was finally one hundred percent himself and had found someone whom he loved so much.  I had taken a liking to Chad and found him to be as genuine as Calvin and hoped they would stay together forever.

“Have a safe flight tomorrow and I hope to meet all of you soon in LA for dinner and drinks soon,” I said as I hugged and kissed them all goodbye.

Chapter 5

Alex had made arrangements with George to pick us up from the W Hotel after we checked out the following afternoon.  We met Phil in the lobby, since he would be joining us.  The New Year’s festivities had come to an end and everyone seemed to have returned to their normal duties.  Maria had returned to the Blake’s apartment after her visit to her sister for the holiday.

“Welcome back Mr. Alex, Miss Claire, and Mr. Phil. Happy New Year to you all.  I hope you had a wonderful time at Times Square,” she said.

“Happy New Year, Maria.  We did, thank you.  I hope you had a wonderful holiday also,” I replied.

“I did, thank you.  The entire time I was thinking about how Mr. Alex here promised to cook dinner for us one of these nights,” she smiled, turning to Alex.

“Yes, Maria, you are absolutely right.  I’m going to make a list of items I will need from the store and send George to get those.  Tonight, dinner is on Alex Blake,” he replied, followed by a glowing smile which revealed all of his perfectly lined, white teeth.

“I’m so excited!” Maria jumped for joy.  “Now, before I take off my apron, may I get anyone anything?” she asked.

“No Maria, go ahead, take off your apron.  I’m sure we can grab a few snacks for ourselves,” I replied.  I could tell Maria was more comfortable and more at ease without Alex’s parents around.  She was always so proper and seemed overworked when they were home.

“So, what’s on the menu, Chef Alex?” asked Phil, his hand on his flat abdomen.

“It’s a surprise, buddy,” he replied.

“Should I keep my Epi Pen handy?” Phil asked.

“No, that won’t be necessary, Phil, taken into account that you don’t have any food allergies.  But you should definitely keep poison control on speed dial,” he replied, making us all laugh.

Maria offered to join me in the library to show me family albums of when Alex was a little boy.  There were photos of Alex and Melissa during all holidays such as Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas.  Richard and Isabelle were very young in those pictures as well.  They were still very good looking at their older age, but of course they looked even better, since they were only in their thirties in those photos.

We went through at least three family albums before we were both tired of looking at pictures.  Alex was busy in the kitchen preparing dinner and Phil was busy watching television and talking to Alex while he cooked. 

Maria told me about her daughter and the rest of her family.  Her daughter was in college, attending NYU.  Her husband had left them when Carmen was a child.  He had rekindled his relationship with an ex girlfriend and fallen in love with that woman while married to Maria.

“Carmen was only five years old at that time.  It was very hard to be a single mother after being married for seven years.  The woman whom my husband was having an affair with was also married with two children.  When I asked him why, he said it was because he had a past with her.  I said, ‘You have a child with me,’ but he didn’t seem interested in working things out.  She destroyed her own family along with mine.  They married not too long after the divorce, but ended up leaving one another just a few years later.  She cheated on him, just like she had cheated on her first husband.  I guess infidelity ran in her blood and she couldn’t live without it.  He came running back to Carmen and I, but I rejected him.  I slammed the door in his face and told him that I’d rather be alone for the rest of my life than with a man like himself,” she said.

“Good for you, Maria.  It must have been hard, but you did the right thing,” I replied.

“I knew it was the right thing to do.  I had too much pride to take that man back.  I never remarried after that and decided to devote my life to my job and to Carmen.  I made sure she got good grades and went to college so she would never have to depend on a man or work several hours cooking and cleaning like I do to make a living,” she said.

My eyes had filled with tears from Maria’s story as had hers while she told me her story.  When Alex walked in, he thought something had happened.

“Why are you two crying?” he asked.

“Oh, sorry, Mr. Alex, I was just telling Claire about my life and we got a little carried away,” Maria replied.

“No need to apologize, Maria.  Dinner is almost ready,” he said.

“Oh okay, great.  I will wash up before we eat,” she said and headed out of the library.  Alex took a seat next to me.

“You okay, baby?” he asked.

“I’m fine, Alex.  Maria’s life story just made me a little sad, that’s all,” I replied as he put his arm around me.  “So, what’s for dinner, chef?” I asked.

“I told you it’s a surprise.  Doesn’t anyone around here want to be surprised anymore?” he asked, sarcastically.

“Fine, I will wait to be surprised.  I’m going to wash up, too.  I guess I will see you at the dinner table in ten minutes?” I asked.

“Looking forward to it, baby,” he replied, kissing me softly on my cheek.

<><><>

Alex had cooked up a storm.  As I entered the dining room, the aroma of garlic filled my nostrils.  My mouth began to water as I hurried to take a seat where Alex asked.  He had invited George, the driver, as well.  Phil had already taken a seat across from me, Alex at the head of the table, and Maria right next to me with George across the table from her.

“Tonight, ladies and gentleman, I will be serving a caprice salad to start with, followed by gorgonzola and spinach stuffed chicken breast, served with sautéed mushrooms and asparagus.  Dessert for the evening is everyone’s favorite - Crème brulee,” he stated.

“Oh my, I can’t wait to start,” said George, his eyes bright.

Dinner that evening was such a blast.  The food was delicious, as usual.  George was quite the comedian and entertained us by telling a few very funny jokes.  I wasn’t sure if it was only my imagination, but I felt there was a connection between George and Maria.  George was a widower for many years, and Maria had been divorced ever since her daughter was five years old.  Something in the way they giggled and looked at one another made me think that there was something between those two.

“I need to hit the gym in the morning,” said Alex, grabbing his flat abdomen, pretending it was protruded.

“Wake me up and I’ll join you, if I’m able to get myself up to exercise,” said Phil.

“I will be sleeping soundly,” I noted.

Alex laughed, “I think you should give it a few more weeks and recover from the fall before heading to the gym,” he said.

“You fell, Miss Claire? When?” Maria asked.

“Oh yeah, it was nothing.  I tripped and fell while taking the stairs at work and ended up with a few broken ribs.  Nothing major, thank God,” I replied.  Alex took my hand and kissed it.

“It could have been worse.  I’m so glad she’s all right,” he said.

“Me too.  It’s good to see a beautiful girl like yourself in one piece.” replied Maria.

“I will drink to that,” said George, lifting his wine glass.

“You’re one lucky dude, Alex,” said Phil with the permanent perverted grin built onto his face.

Maria offered to do all the clean up and dishes.  She was grateful for all the hard work Alex had put into cooking dinner and said it was her job to cook and clean for the Blake’s anyway.  I accompanied her in the kitchen while the boys hung out in the family room, talking nonstop about football and which team they anticipated would win the Super Bowl.

I noticed that Maria could use a haircut and color.  Her hair looked as though it hadn’t been colored in such a long time since she had so much gray hair.  She was a beautiful older woman with big dark eyes, tall, lean, and had flawless skin.  I knew she didn’t have much time for herself.

I tried to spend as little time with Phil as I could.  I gave Alex a lot of space to have time with his childhood friend and didn’t want to be the third leg.  I headed to the library and looked for a book to read to pass the time.  There was quite the collection on those shelves.  I found a book by Stephen King that looked spooky enough for me, turned on the lamp on the side table and made myself comfortable on the recliner.

Alex was looking for me and found me in the library, “There you are, baby.  What are you doing?” he asked, curiously.

“Hey, Alex.  I’m just reading this book.  I’m so into it that I don’t want to leave this chair,” I laughed.

“Aha, glad you found something you like in here.  I was going to ask you if you want to go out for a drink, you, me, and Phil,” he said.

“Why don’t you two go ahead and go.  Enjoy your guy time with Phil.  I won’t be joining you for drinks, but I will definitely be joining you in bed later,” I winked.

“I won’t be long then.  I was serious about hitting the gym in the morning.  We have a very nice gym in this building.” he replied, planting a kiss on my lips.  “I miss you already,” he added before heading out of the library.

I read and read for at least another two hours before my eyelids became so heavy that I could feel myself drifting off to sleep.  I surrendered when I could no longer keep my eyes open.  What seemed like moments later, I felt someone take the book out of my hand.  I opened my eyes to find Alex had returned from his night out with Phil and had found me asleep on the recliner in the library.

“I guess the book wasn’t so great after all, baby.  It looks like it put you to sleep,” he smiled.

“It’s a great book, but I couldn’t stay awake any longer, so I gave in,” I replied.

“Let’s go to bed, where you can give in to other things,” he said as he helped me off the recliner and turned off the lamp next to me.

The moment my body touched the sheets, Alex was all over me.  I could smell the alcohol on his breath and I knew he was hungry for sex.  He unclasped my bra with one hand and nearly tore off my panties with the other.  His body was so hot that he felt like a heater against my skin.  I responded to his warm, soft kisses as his lips met mine, his tongue slowly moving against mine.  He applied one hand on the back of my head and pulled me closer as he entered me slowly, thrusting his pelvis against mine.  If we were any closer, we would become one.  I moaned as he moved in and out of me as my heart began to beat quicker and I began to sweat.

“I love it when you’re wet,” he said, as he quickened his thrusts until I couldn’t hold on any longer.  I moaned as I came, my fingers deep into his back as I held on to him while he came with a loud groan.

Alex removed himself out of me and lay on his back, my head resting against his chest.  His fingers ran through my hair, causing me to become drowsy as my eyelids began to feel like they weighed a ton.  I recalled something I wanted to tell him, “Alex, I want to treat Maria to a makeover tomorrow.  She works so hard here and needs a little pampering.  Maybe I can take her to the beauty salon for a haircut and some color.  I sensed something between her and George at the dinner table.  Do you think they have a crush on each other?” I asked.

“That’s so sweet of you, baby.  She would really enjoy that.  She’s been through a lot with her ex husband.  She and George seem to be close, so you’re not the only one who thinks they could have something.  I will ask George to drive you two to the fancy beauty salon my mother goes to,” he replied.

“Great!  It sounds like it’s going to be a great day,” I said.

“You treat yourself to whatever you’d like, also.  I want you to get pampered along with Maria tomorrow.  Do whatever you girls do, facials, manicures, and all that sexy stuff,” he laughed.

“Are you really going to the gym in the morning?” I asked.

“Oh yeah, definitely.  Phil is going to go with me.  We’ve been eating and drinking way too much and I’m beginning to feel a gut coming on,” he replied.

“Oh, please Alex.  You look like you just spent two hours at the gym this morning.  You have genes that men would kill for,” I stated.

“Look who’s talking.  You’re Miss I-can-eat-whatever-I-want-and-still-have-a-sexy-body,” he replied.

“You’re an amazing liar, Alex.  You always know what to say to make me feel loved,” I said.

“Call me whatever you want, but don’t call me a liar.  You know I always speak the truth,” he noted as he continued to run his fingers through my hair.  “Now, why don’t you let me play with your beautiful hair while you doze off,” he added, kissing the top of my head.  I knew sleep was about to find me as my eyelids gave in and my eyes closed as I emerged into a comfortable state of sleep.

<><><>

Morning seemed to arrive rather quickly as I was startled by Alex’s alarm at eight o’clock.  He dragged himself out of bed, since he didn’t want to break his promise to eliminate his imaginary gut.  He kissed me goodbye, “I miss you already,” he said and headed out.

I emerged into sleep again immediately, but was awakened by the sound of Alex’s footsteps.  I could hear him undress and crawl back into bed.  He put his arm around my waist, my back against his chest, pulling me close to him.

I could feel his hardness against me from behind as he moved his hand up to my breasts.  His hands were so cold.  I didn’t recall Alex’s hands ever being that cold.  I wondered if he had changed his mind about going to the gym because he wasn’t feeling well, since he always ran so much hotter than me.  Another thing I noticed was that his hands felt so coarse, when they usually felt so smooth against my skin.  I slowly began to turn to face him, to ask him why his hands were so dry and why he was so cold against my skin.

I turned to face him, opening my eyes to find it wasn’t Alex next to me.  It was Phil.  My blood suddenly ran cold and I froze for a few seconds after I realized what was going on.  I let out the loudest scream humanly possible before he covered my mouth with his cold, dry, coarse hand so violently that I was afraid of what was next.

“Shhhh.  We don’t want the neighbors to hear, do we now?” he whispered through his cold, pale face.

I tried to move, but found it impossible because he was so strong and it was so easy for him to keep me pinned down.  I heard someone else in the room and saw a shadow moving on the wall.  I wondered if Alex hadn’t left, or if he had returned early.  Thoughts circulated in my head like a rollercoaster on high speed.  What if Alex was in the room and thought I was consensually going to sleep with Phil?  I wanted my life to end at that moment.

“Ahhh! What the fuck!” yelled Phil and jumped up and out of the bed wearing only his underwear.

It was Maria standing there with a golf club in her hand, ready to swing another one at him.  He grabbed his rear as she swung another one, just missing his head as he dodged the club.  “Stop, please, stop.  She invited me to her room and -,” he ducked and squinted when Maria threatened to swing again for his head.

“You shut up, Philip!  I wouldn’t leave you alone in a room, house, or apartment with this girl if my life depended on it.  You are a filthy, sick bastard and you deserve to be castrated!” she shouted in anger.  “And to think that once I didn’t believe my own daughter when she told me how uncomfortable your presence made her feel,” she added.  “Are you okay, Claire?” she asked, turning to me.

I just nodded, unable to speak through the tears.  Phil began to walk towards Maria, but she stopped him in his tracks by pointing the golf club at his manhood threatening him of what was next.

“Go pack your things and leave at once.  Don’t try anything funny, or I will press send,” she warned as she dialed 9-1-1.  “You should lock this door, Claire.  I’m going to see to it that Phil leaves this apartment without trying anything else,” she said and closed the door as she headed out of the bedroom.

I pulled myself out of bed, my legs wobbling like jello as I walked over to the bedroom door and locked it tightly.  I walked back to the bed, still shaking, and sat on the edge.  I listened to see if I could hear anything from the rest of the apartment.  Moments later I heard a loud slam, which seemed to be coming from the main door.  I heard footsteps and hoped it was Maria’s footsteps and not Phil’s.  I heard a soft knock on the door followed by Maria notifying me of Phil’s departure.

“He’s gone,” she informed.

I opened the door to let Maria in and sighed loud with relief.  I thought about what would have happened to me if it weren’t for her hearing my scream and running to my aid.  I didn’t know what to make of the whole situation.

I couldn’t tell Alex about what had just taken place.  He would be so furious and probably never speak to Phil again.  The constant thoughts in my brain were on a racetrack.

“Maria, I don’t want Alex to know about what just happened,” I said.

“Are you sure?” she asked.

“Yes, I’m sure.  I don’t know how he would react and it would upset him too much.  I’m afraid he will do something crazy,” I replied.

“What should I tell him if he asks where Phil is?” she asked.

“Just tell him he had to leave in a hurry.  I’m sure he will call Phil.  I doubt he’s going to admit jumping into bed with me,” I noted.

“Okay.  If that’s what you really want,” she replied and began walking out of the bedroom.

“Maria,” I said before she left.

“Yes?” she replied.

“Thank you,” I said.

“Don’t mention it,” she replied with a warm smile.  “You may want to wash your face if you don’t want Alex to notice anything.  You have mascara tears on your cheeks,” she giggled.

“Oh no,” I replied as I put my hands on my cheeks.  “Thanks for the heads up.  I will jump in the shower,” I said and did just that.

<><><>

I heard Alex enter the room after I was finished drying my hair.  He looked like he had worked up quite a sweat at the gym.  “Hey, baby, what are you doing up so early?  I thought you’d still be sleeping, since you were in such a deep sleep before I left,” he said.

“I woke up after you left and just tossed and turned,” I replied, still a little shaken up.

“Phil left me a voice message saying he’s taking the next flight home.  Something about a work emergency that couldn’t wait,” he said.

“Didn’t he go to the gym with you?” I asked, trying to sound as clueless as I could.

“No, he chickened out.  He said he was too tired and couldn’t get out of bed, so I went without him,” he replied.  I hated hiding things from Alex, but I didn’t think he would take the news very well.

Alex pulled out his cell phone from his pocket and dialed Phil’s number.  “Hey, bro, what’s going on?  Can’t somebody else handle the work?” he asked.  “That sucks, Phil.  We were having such a great time.  All right.  You take care and call me to let me know if everything is okay.  Have a safe flight,” he said before ending the call.

“What happened?” I asked, hesitantly.

“He’s got a business emergency and it can’t be handled by anyone else but him,” he replied.

“Oh, I see.  That’s too bad,” I said, eager to change the conversation.  “So, am I treating Maria to a makeover today?” I asked, reminding Alex of our conversation from the night before.

“Yeah, baby, you two are going for a little pampering today.  Maria’s making breakfast, why don’t you go start and I will join you after I shower,” he said.

“Okay, but I will let you surprise Maria with the beauty salon news.  I’m sure she would love to hear it come from you,” I replied.  Alex undressed and headed into the shower, while I made my way to the kitchen to see what Maria was up to.  The aroma was intoxicating.  I smelled blueberry pancakes on the way to the kitchen.  My smelling senses had been accurate, since blueberry pancakes were on the menu along with vegetable and cheese omelets.

“Now I’ve validated where Alex learned how to cook so well,” I said as I joined Maria.  She smiled and thanked me for the warm compliment.

“How are you doing?” she asked, quietly.

“I’m good, thanks to you.  Phil called Alex and told him he had to take the next flight home due to a work emergency,” I notified her.

“Oh, that’s good.  Good riddance,” she giggled.

“Alex is showering so he will join us right after he’s done,” I said and took a seat at the table.  I waited for Alex as I recalled the incident from that morning.  I felt a little anxious when I thought about Phil and how he had crawled into bed next to me, pretending to be Alex.  Who in their right mind would do such a thing?  I shook my head to shake off the crazy thoughts inside my brain.

Alex entered the dining room and took a seat next to me.  His hair was still wet from the shower, making the color of his hair look darker, which made his blue eyes stand out even more.  I must have been staring at him like a love struck teenager encountering a heartthrob movie star for Alex to ask, “What is it, baby?”

“Huh?  Oh, nothing.  I was just looking at you all wet and got a little carried away, that’s all,” I admitted.  Alex laughed and complimented me, telling me that I was the one who mesmerized him.  I reminded him about asking Maria if she would join me at the beauty salon.

“Maria?” he called.

“Yes, Alex.  Could I get you something else?” she asked.

“No, no, Maria.  Why don’t you take a seat and join us?” he offered.

“I already had oatmeal, but thank you,” she replied.

“Oh, come now, Maria.  My folks won’t be back from their trip until late tomorrow evening.  Just join us, so we could talk to you about something,” he said.

Maria looked a bit nervous when Alex said he wanted to talk about something.  I knew she was thinking about Phil and the strange morning.  She hesitantly took a seat and cracked a smile as she anxiously waited to hear what Alex had to say.

“Maria, Claire and I were talking about you last night.  We were talking about how much we both like you and how hard you work around here and Claire had a great idea.  She would like for you to join her at the beauty salon today.  Get your haircut, colored, have your nails done, and maybe even a facial if you’d like.  It’s on us,” he said smiling.

Maria seemed relieved that the conversation did not involve Phil, “Oh, my goodness, that’s a wonderful offer.  I wouldn’t want to fall behind on my housework, since your parents will be returning tomorrow night.  Maybe another time,” she replied.

“Another time?  When?  Once my mother is back, she’s probably going to ask you to work on your day off as well,” Alex said.  “Besides, I can tidy up around here while you’re gone.  I’ve already made arrangements and George will be driving the two of you to the salon,” he smiled.

“It’s just so hard to say no to you Alex.  And thank you, Claire.  You two make such a wonderful couple,” she smiled and excused herself to go change her clothes.

“So, you’re on cleaning duty?” I asked Alex.

“It’s a piece of cake.  When you two return, it will look as if Maria never left this apartment,” he winked.

I helped with the cleanup after I finished eating and got ready to head downstairs with Maria.  She grabbed my coat, scarf, and gloves for me and I slipped into those on the way down to meet George.

“Good day, ladies,” greeted George.  Maria’s smile looked bigger when George was around.  He opened the car door for us and let us in, closing it softly after we were seated comfortably.  He took the driver’s seat and notified us that he was directed to take us to a nearby salon called Mademoiselle.

It didn’t take more than five minutes to arrive at the fancy salon Alex had booked for our pampering.  George asked us to call him once we were ready for him to drive us back home.  Maria and I checked in at the reception desk, while I looked around and checked out the fancy décor.  It was very French Victorian with a lot of beautiful drapes hanging from ceiling to floor.  There was even a faux fireplace with a hand carved mantle the color of espresso with matte gold accents.

We were taken to the nail portion of the salon as the friendly manicurists began our manicure and pedicures.  Maria seemed very happy about the special treatment on a workday.  She wouldn’t stop thanking me.  I asked her about what she means when she mentioned to Phil about her daughter and how she felt about Phil.

“When Carmen was younger, a teenager, I used to bring her to the Blake’s house with me quite often so she could help me work and also to get a taste of how difficult it is to make money without a college education.  I wanted her to know that hard labor could be avoided if she studied hard in school.  She always told me that she didn’t feel comfortable when Phil was around.  I didn’t think anything of it until one day when I walked in on him cornering her in the laundry room, trying to kiss her.  I pulled him away from her and slapped him across the face.  We didn’t tell anyone about it.  I never brought Carmen back to the Blake’s after that incident,” she explained.

“She was very lucky that you walked in to that laundry room.  It could have been so much worse, just as it could have been for me this morning if you hadn’t come to my rescue,” I noted.

“When I saw Alex leaving to the gym alone, I recalled him mentioning that Phil would be accompanying him.  After Alex left, I peeked in on Phil and he looked like he was sound asleep.  When I heard you scream, I knew it had to be because of Phil,” she replied.

“Just recalling the events from this morning makes me so anxious,” I said, as the pedicurist massaged my feet.

“Hopefully he will stay far away from you,” replied Maria.

After the hand and feet pampering, it was Maria’s turn to have her hair colored and trimmed.  I didn’t plan to do anything special to my hair, since I had already been to my hairdresser in Los Angeles before the trip to New York.  I decided to only have an inch trimmed from the bottom and a blow dry and style, so Maria wouldn’t feel alone.

Maria was so appreciative of everything Alex and I had done for her.  Every time she looked in the mirror, she was reminded of the woman she used to see years ago.  She told me she went to inexpensive salons on the other side of town, but they weren’t even half as good there.  She admitted she could never afford a place like Mademoiselle if she were to go on her own.

I called George to let him know we were ready for him to pick us up.  I headed to the reception desk to pay for the services, but was notified that Alex had already taken care of things as usual.  I gave generous tips to the ladies who provided service to us and waited for George.

He did a double take when he saw Maria.  Her hair was cut and styled beautifully, colored a light shade of chestnut brown, bringing out her beautiful big brown eyes.  In all the days I had been in New York, it was the biggest smile I had seen from George.  His eyes lit up when he saw Maria.  I knew there had to be something between those two that even they were afraid to admit.

We took a seat in the warm car as George drove us back to the Blake’s penthouse apartment.

Chapter 6

The next few days were full of fun activities and surprises.  Alex took me to Liberty Island to see the Statue of Liberty and the Empire State Building.  I had many new photos to add to my travel album.  I even experienced a ride on the subway, which was a completely different experience from the luxurious Mercedes George had been driving us around in.  Alex even surprised me with tickets to the Broadway show Phantom of the Opera.  I had always wanted to see the show in Los Angeles, but had never gotten around to it.

With only a few days left in New York and the Alzheimer’s gala coming up, he wanted to make sure he showed me around, so I could have quite a number of pictures and memories to take back home to show my friends and family.

Richard and Isabelle returned from their trip to Hawaii with beautiful bronze tans and very relaxed from all the nice spa treatments they kept talking about.  Isabelle was extremely excited and was looking forward to the gala event the following night.  She had it all planned out.  The boys would head out before us, while we had our hair and makeup done and meet them there afterward.  She wanted Alex and Richard to be surprised when they saw us completely dolled up.  I kind of wanted to go together, with Alex and his father as well, but I didn’t want to disappoint her.

“My mother loves surprises,” whispered Alex.  “She lives to surprise people,” he chuckled.

“I heard that, Alex.  What’s wrong with little surprises here and there?  Everyone likes surprises,” she smiled.

Alex had yet to see my dress, shoes, or anything Isabelle had planned to doll me up in.  She said Richard hadn’t even seen her dress, as she wanted him to be surprised as well.  She had already made arrangements with her hair and makeup artist to come to the apartment to make us over for the event.

Maria was back to working hard since the return of the Blake’s.  Isabelle had a long list of things for her to do such as unpacking their suitcases from their trip and many loads of laundry.  Alex’s mother was very nice, yet a bit stern with Maria.  When I asked Alex why she was so firm with Maria, he stated that his mother always thought if she were too nice to Maria, she wouldn’t work as hard.

“When I was a little boy and my mother reprimanded me, I used to run to Maria and hide behind her so that I wouldn’t be punished.  I felt as though she always protected me.  My mother hated it when I did that and told Maria to push me away whenever I ran to her for support.  I still ran to Maria when my mother wasn’t home.  She was like my second mother.  She spent more time with me than my parents did, since they were so involved in their careers,” he explained.

“So, basically, Maria raised you,” I confirmed.

“Yes, you can say that,” he replied.

“I find it a bit sad that you didn’t have much quality family time,” I admitted.

“I survived,” he winked.  “So, you want to go to Verne for a few drinks?” he asked.

“Sure, I’ll take a drink or two,” I smiled.

We dressed warm and walked to Verne, where Alex had first introduced me to Phil.  The thought of Phil made my stomach a little queasy.  I shook my head to get him out of my thoughts.  My lungs thanked me when I inhaled the fresh, cold air outside as we walked to the bar, embracing the light snowfall.

I welcomed the warm, cozy environment as we entered the bar.  We took a seat at the same booth we had sat in the first time we were there.  Alex planted himself as close to me as humanly possible.

“What does my baby want to drink tonight?” he asked.

“How about a pineapple and vodka?” I asked.

“Whatever your heart desires,” he replied as he called for the waitress and ordered the fruity drink for me and a Double Black Label scotch for himself. 

“In just a few days from today, we will be back to reality.  This trip is going by too fast,” he said.

“Time flies when you’re having fun,” I replied.

“Are you really having a good time?” he asked, brushing his nose against my neck.

“I’m having a blast, Alex,” I replied.

He continued to brush his nose on my neck as he began to kiss me.  His hand on my thigh moved higher and higher.  I applied my hand over his to keep him from going anywhere else.  We both had quite a bit to drink and I decided not to finish the last drink.  I had gone way over my limit and Alex seemed to have done the same.  He asked for the check, paid for the drinks as we began to walk back home.

I felt much warmer on the walk home than on the walk to the bar.  The alcohol had heated up my body perfectly for the short walk.  We entered the building and headed straight for the elevator.  Once the elevator doors closed, Alex pinned me against the wall, kissing me hard.  I could smell the hard alcohol on his breath and taste it against my tongue.

It took a few moments for us to realize the elevator had opened its doors.  Alex had difficulty opening the penthouse door with the alcohol in his system and his lower brain interrupting his train of thought.

It was quiet in that huge apartment.  I guess everyone had gone to bed.  He took my hand and pulled me to the long corridor that led to his bedroom.  He closed the door behind him and pulled off my scarf, then my coat, undressing me quickly as I undressed him.

We didn’t make it as far as the bed.  He pulled me on top of him as he lay on the white chaise lounge.  I sat on him as he pushed himself into me.  I moved up and down, slowly at first, moaning with pleasure.  I turned my body around, my back facing him.  I sat on his hardness, pushing him into me again as his hands grabbed my breasts from behind, caressing them as he groaned.  He then moved his hands lower and lower until he was down between my legs, rubbing me as I moved up and down quicker.  I felt a tingle all the way to the pit of my abdomen.  I was so close, yet I didn’t want to come just yet.  I stood up and turned around once again, pushing him into me as deep as I could.  A few moves later, I came with the loudest moan I can recall.

Alex turned me over onto my back and entered me, kissing me as he grabbed my bottom with one hand and my breast with the other.  He moved so slowly, I wondered if he was ever going to quicken his pace.

“Faster,” I commanded.

“You want it fast?” he asked, speeding it up.

“Deeper,” I commanded again.

“You want it all, don’t you?” he asked, the smell of alcohol still strong.

“Shut up and fuck me, Alex!” I commanded.

Just a few moves later, I came again, with Alex this time.  He groaned so loudly, I thought everyone must have heard.  He kissed me softly, “I love it when you talk dirty to me,” he said before he carried me to the bed where we both called it a night in each other’s arms.

<><><>

The next morning, I awakened with a slight headache.  It must have been the alcohol Alex and I had a bit too much of.  He seemed to be feeling a lot better than I.  When I complained of a headache, he immediately gave me a couple of aspirin to take.  Maria had prepared breakfast, so we joined Richard and Isabelle in the dining room.

“Are you feeling well, Claire?” asked Isabelle, immediately noticing that I wasn’t myself.

I nodded, “I’m feeling fine, aside from a slight headache,” I replied.

“Hmm, sounds like you two had a blast last night.  Alex, you really should cut down on the drinking.  It doesn’t suit you as a surgeon to drink so much,” she said, turning her attention to Alex.

“I’m on vacation, mom, and I’m not a teenager anymore.  I can have a few drinks here and there,” he replied.

“Well, I was just trying to be helpful with good advice, but it doesn’t seem like you want to take it,” she said.  I felt a little uncomfortable at that table.  What did Isabelle think about my drinking when she had a problem with her own son having a few drinks?  She must have thought I was an alcoholic or something.

“Isabelle, is this even necessary right now?” Richard spoke up.

“I am only looking out for him,” she said as she turned and looked at me as if I were a bad influence on Alex.  I hadn’t felt so uncomfortable around Alex’s mother until that morning during breakfast.  Did she think I was the reason her son had a few drinks every now and then?  I finished eating as quickly as I could so I didn’t have to sit there any longer.

I spent the next few hours reading in the Blake’s library.  I wanted to kill the time doing something I loved to do before Isabelle’s hair and makeup artist arrived to doll us up.  Alex and his father were going to head out much earlier than us, as it was a part of Isabelle’s surprise plan.

Alex appeared in the library, dressed in a black tuxedo, his hair perfectly combed.  I had never seen him in a tuxedo or a suit.  It took a few moments for my eyes to adjust and for my jaw to return to its’ original location.  I put down the book I was reading and stood up.

“Oh my, Alex, don’t you look handsome!  Just makes me want to stand here and stare at you all day long and when I’m done staring, I would slowly remove this sexy tuxedo, one piece at a time before I do very dirty things to you,” I smiled.

Alex widened his eyes, “You’re killing me, baby.  Please promise me you’ll do those dirty things to me when we come back here tonight,” he said.

“I promise,” I winked.

“I’ll see you in a bit.  I miss you already,” he said as he kissed me and left with Richard.

Isabelle appeared in the library a few moments after Alex left to inform me that her hair and make up artist, Manuel, had arrived.  I headed over to her master bedroom suite for Manuel to make me over.  He was a pleasant man, no more than forty years of age.  He was very petite and built with dark black hair and dark brown eyes.

“So, we are going to do a large bun today, right Isabelle?” Manuel confirmed.

“Yes, just as we discussed over the phone yesterday.  Just like the picture I scanned to you,” she informed.

Isabelle had really gone out of her way to perfect my look for that evening.  “Oh, Claire, I even have jewelry for you that would go perfect with that dress,” she informed.

Manuel worked very quickly.  I could see why Isabelle liked him so much, as he didn’t waste much time talking.  He went straight to work and completed the job within an hour and a half.

I slipped into the dark red Versace dress that Isabelle had purchased for me.  It was a strapless mermaid fit dress that loosened up a little bit right above the knees.  The back was slightly longer than the front, which gave it a more elegant look.  Isabelle gave me a beautiful teardrop diamond necklace with matching earings to wear for the evening.  She also let me borrow a beautiful diamond tennis bracelet.

I hadn’t taken off the globe pendant necklace that Alex had given me for my birthday until that day.  I hesitated, but I knew Isabelle wanted my jewelry to match and insisted I sport the items she loaned me.

She also had a silver Jimmy Choo evening clutch to go with my dress.  She slipped into a black, rhinestone embroidered Armani dress, which was also as long as my dress and similar in style.  She looked beautiful, as she was a very attractive woman.

I slipped into my shoes and coat and headed down to meet George by the car.  “You ladies look very beautiful tonight,” he said, as he opened the door for us to get seated.  George had a strange look on his face when he saw me - a very uneasy look that I hadn’t seen from him since we had arrived in New York.  I wondered if he thought the dress, hair and makeup was a bit too much for the occasion.  I didn’t want to overthink and reminded myself not to make assumptions from the look on someone’s face.

George pulled up in front of the Waldorf Astoria Hotel and opened the door to let us out.  As Isabelle and I walked inside to the grand ballroom, I was reminded of the fashion show event Laura had invited me to back in Los Angeles.  This ballroom was much more extravagant with balconies, magnificent lighting and breathtaking décor.  This event was red carpet with expensive champagne and appetizers at the entrance.  I was definitely not overdressed for the occasion, so I felt very relieved about that.

Isabelle and I helped ourselves to a glass of champagne and headed toward our table as we looked for Richard and Alex.  We found them standing next to our table, in a conversation with a man who looked no older than Richard.  He must have been one of his colleagues from the hospital.

“Good evening, gentleman,” began Isabelle.  Both Alex and his father’s face changed when they turned to greet us.  Alex’s smile diminished instantly.  Oh no.  I wondered if he didn’t like my dress.  Maybe it was my makeup or my hair that he didn’t like.

The gentleman with them extended his hand, “Good evening, Angela.  You look beautiful as always,” he smiled and shook my hand.  Angela?  He thought I was Angela?

“This is Alex’s girlfriend, Claire,” corrected Richard.

“I need to talk to you right now, mother,” said Alex in Isabelle’s ear and pulled her away, taking a walk with her.

“I’m so sorry, Claire.  It’s so good to meet you.  I apologize for calling you by the wrong name.  I must have left my glasses at home,” he apologized.

“No worries, really,” I said, hoping that made him feel better.

“I’m Harold, by the way,” he said.  I looked around that beautifully decorated ballroom for Alex and his mother, but I didn’t see them anywhere.  I took a seat at our table for a few minutes and finally they appeared.  Alex didn’t look happy at all as he took a seat next to me.

“Alex, what’s wrong?  You don’t like my dress?” I asked, searching to find what was eating him.

“You look beautiful Claire.  You are beautiful.  It’s not you.  It’s my mother,” he assured.

“What did she do?” I asked.

“What didn’t she do?” he asked.  What was that supposed to mean?  A few others arrived who would be seated at our table.  Richard seemed to be close with everyone and I assumed they were all friends and colleagues from the hospital.  Alex and I stood up to meet and greet them.  Alex already knew everyone, so he shook hands and hugged them.  I approached the newly arrived people, and began to introduce myself when one of the women greeted me before I could open my mouth.

“Great to see you again, Angela.  How is everything in California?” she asked.  Before I could answer, Alex stepped in.

“Melinda, this is my girlfriend, Claire,” he corrected her.  She took a good look at me and covered her mouth.

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry, I thought, I-I thought, I’m really sorry, Claire,” she apologized.

“Don’t worry about it,” I smiled as best I could. “It’s really nice to meet you,” I added, using all of my energy not to frown.  I was so confused as to why two people had already mistaken me for Angela.  There wasn’t too much of a resemblance between us.  The only resemblance was our hair and eye color.  Angela had quite a number of cosmetic procedures done to her face and body.  I didn’t understand the confusion.

Alex looked very uneasy as he stood next to me.  I squeezed his hand, “Alex,” I whispered into his ear, “why are people calling me Angela? We are not look-alikes.  This is so weird and uncomfortable.” I said.

“I’m sorry, baby.  We will leave soon,” he said.

“I don’t want to leave.  We just got here, Alex.  The event hasn’t even started,” I noted.

A man approached our table and tapped Alex on the shoulder, “Dr. Alex Blake, how wonderful to see you again.  I remember your beautiful wife from the last time you were at this event,” he said, looking at me as he smiled.

“Hi Edmond,” Alex said as he got up from his seat, “this is my girlfriend, Claire,” he replied.

Edmond’s face turned red, as he was probably embarrassed that he had mistaken me for Alex’s ex wife.  “Oh shit, I’m terribly sorry,” he said.  How uncomfortable was this situation?

The event began with a great slideshow to raise awareness for Alzheimer’s disease.  My mind was wandering back and forth from the slideshow.  The people who had mistaken me for Angela kept staring at me and when I looked their way, they look away.  After the slideshow was over, Alex whispered something in his father’s ear and took my hand, helping me off my seat.

“Follow me,” he said, escorting me out of the ballroom.

“Where are we going?” I asked.

“Home,” he replied, shortly.

“Home?  I just got here, Alex.  What is going on?  Why did those people mistaken me for Angela?” I asked, yearning for answers.  He didn’t answer, just kept walking as he pulled my hand in the direction he was headed, which was outside.  He called for a cab and opened the door for us to get seated and gave the driver his parents’ address.  I didn’t ask any questions on the drive home and Alex was a quiet as ever.

The silence continued in the elevator ride to the penthouse suite.  Once we were inside, he took my hand and led me to his bedroom where he began to take off my dress and the million pins from my hair.  He wiped off the makeup Manuel had applied so beautifully.  I opened my mouth to say something or ask what on earth was going on, but I refrained, since Alex still looked so outraged.

He removed his tuxedo and threw it on the floor.  He opened the shower door and led me inside as he followed, closing it behind him.  He turned on the shower and positioned me right underneath it as the hot water poured all over me.  It was so hot, but I didn’t want to say anything to ruffle his feathers anymore than they had already been.  He poured shampoo all over my hair and began lathering.  The water was getting hotter and hotter, to the point that I couldn’t tolerate it any longer.  I noticed Alex turn the handle to make it hotter as I felt my skin burning from the excessive heat.

“It’s too hot, Alex,” I said.  He didn’t seem to care that it bothered me.  I could feel it even hotter and beyond bearable.  I moved from under the shower and pushed him into the hot water, “What the fuck, Alex?!” I yelled.  “Are you trying to burn me to death?  What is wrong with you?”  I continued to yell as I stood in the corner, away from the boiling hot water.

He realized that the water was even too hot for him and immediately cooled it down.  I stayed in the corner, away from him.  He looked at me with a puzzled look on his face and began walking toward me in that steam filled shower.  I held out both of my hands, my palms toward his chest.

“Stay away from me,” I said, not allowing him to take another step toward me. 

“I-I-I’m so sorry, baby.  Let me hold you,” he replied, moving closer, but I pushed him away.

“Get out!  Get out!” I screamed.

“Please don’t push me away, Claire.  I’m really sorry.  I got carried away and didn’t realize it was so hot,” he confessed.

“Get away from me, Alex!  You’re crazy!” I yelled.  He looked like a little boy who was being reprimanded by his mother as he opened the shower door and got out.  I sat down on the tile bench as I attempted to calm down and catch my breath before I got out of the shower as well.  I turned off the water, gently wrapped a towel around my body, as my skin still stinging from the scalding hot water.

Alex was standing next to the vanity, dressed in sweatpants and his favorite university t-shirt.  I didn’t speak to him.  I put on a pair of yoga pants and a long sleeve tunic and dried my wet hair.  Every time I moved, my skin reminded me of what it had just been through in the shower.

“Claire,” he began, “please let me explain,” he pleaded.

“Explain what?  Why you tried to burn me in the shower?  Why three people thought I was Angela in the twenty minutes I was at the gala?  Why you pulled me out of there only to bring me home and try to burn me to death?” I asked.  “When we go back to LA, we will go our separate ways, Alex.  I think we need a break from each other,” I said.

“What? No,” he shook his head.  “Don’t do this, Claire, please,” he pleaded, trying to take my hand, but I pulled back.  I didn’t feel safe around him after what he had done to me.  I didn’t want to start crying, but the tears that rolled down my cheeks were out of my control.  Everything had been going so well for Alex and me.  We were having the time of our lives in New York until the moment I stepped into the Waldorf Astoria Hotel.

We heard someone talking on the other side of the apartment.  It sounded like Richard and Isabelle had returned.

“I need to speak with my mother.  Just stay here.  I will be right back,” he said and headed to what sounded like the library.

I sat there for a few moments, but I couldn’t just sit there and wonder what they would talk about.  I quietly snuck out of the bedroom and into the hallway just outside the library.  I could hear Alex’s father talking loudly.

“Seriously, Isabelle, what on earth possessed you to do such a thing?” he asked.

“I don’t think I did anything wrong,” she defended herself.

“Mom, you dressed her to look exactly like Angela had looked the last time she was at that event.  That dress, so similar to Angela’s, her hair, the makeup, and the jewelry, too.  Of course people were going to automatically assume she is Angela.  Here is a picture of Angela and I from the last event from this lovely family photo album you keep so close to your heart.  A picture is worth a thousand words, so don’t you try to defend yourself.  You have lost this one, mother,” he said.

I froze.  I couldn’t believe what my ears had just picked up.  Isabelle, so sneaky and secretively had dressed me up to look like Angela’s doppelganger.  I had heard and seen it all.  Here I was, thinking she was one of the sweetest women alive.  Boy was I wrong.

“Isabelle, you better have a good explanation for this because I’m losing patience,” Richard said.

“The explanation is simple.  I thought that if I made up Claire to look like Angela, Alex would be reminded of how much he loved her and go back to her,” she admitted.

“I don’t love Angela.  I love Claire.  Why would you even think about doing something like this?” Alex sounded very irritated.

“You’ve lost your mind, woman,” Richard said.

“You and Angela used to be so in love, Alex.  You can have all that again. Angela is a doctor like you, Alex.  Why would you leave a doctor for a secretary?” she asked.  I couldn’t believe my ears.

“Angela had an affair with another man while we were married.  She aborted my baby behind my back and became a drug addict.  What part of that do you think is all right, mother?” Alex asked, more outraged.

“Like father like son.  You both seem to have a secretary fetish,” she said, harshly.

“Isabelle, don’t you dare bring the past into this.  You have nothing left to win your case with, so you aim below the belt,” he yelled.

“Alex, sweetheart, I just want you to think things through.  Claire is a great girl, but she’s nobody special.  She’s only a secretary you met at the hospital.  She even jumps when a car door slides open for crying out loud.  She almost knocked me down on the day we went shopping for that dress.  She seems very anxious most of the time.  I just don’t know if she’s the one for you, dear,” she said to Alex.

“She was raped by a man in a white van when she was younger.  If you had a heart, you’d sympathize, but you don’t,” Alex said coldly.

“You’ve really lost this one, Isabelle.  This conversation is over.  We are going to bed,” I heard Richard say in a more agitated tone of voice.

I quietly moved away from the library door so no one would see or hear me.  Richard and Isabelle left the library and headed toward their bedroom.  I could hear Alex pour himself a drink as I quietly walked into the library.  His back was toward me as he looked out the window into the darkness, his drink in his hand.

The photo album they were talking about was on the coffee table, open to the page, which contained the picture of Alex and Angela at the last gala event they had gone to together.  She had worn a dress very similar to mine.  Her hair, makeup, accessories, and even the clutch she had in her hand was identical to the one Isabelle had loaned me.  Her breasts were much larger and her face looked like she had quite a number of cosmetic upgrades, but overall, we looked identical when made up.  I felt as though I was in the Twilight Zone.

“Wow,” I said.  Alex turned around, surprised to see me there.  “I don’t know what to say,” I said, my eyes still fixated on the photo.  Suddenly, I began to laugh hysterically.

“What’s so funny?” he asked, puzzled.

“Something like this could only happen to me.  My boyfriend’s mother dresses me up as a look-alike of his ex-wife and then my boyfriend tries to burn me to death with hot water,” I said as I continued to laugh hysterically, questioning my own sanity.

Alex walked over to the double doors of the library and closed them.  I didn’t know whether to be afraid in his presence or feel safe as I always have.  I stopped laughing and became serious again.

“Why don’t you sit down, Claire.  I need to tell you something about my childhood that you need to know,” he said.

“Does it have anything to do with the reason why my skin is stinging right now?” I asked.

“It wasn’t intentional, I swear.  I didn’t realize how hot it was until I felt it on my own skin,” he replied with extreme sincerity.  “I would never hurt you, baby.  You know that,” he added, walking toward me and taking my hand.  I took a seat on the emerald green sofa as Alex planted himself so close to me, one would think we were glued together.

“Growing up, my mother was strict - very strict.  As a punishment when I did something wrong, she would bathe me in cold water.  She even added ice cubes in the water a few times to punish me for what I had done.  She’s very controlling and likes to have everything her way.  It’s her way or the highway, basically.

“Ice cubes?” I asked, still in shock by the fact that his own mother would do that to him.

“Yes.  Ice cubes.  She’s a doctor so she knew when to take me out of there to prevent hypothermia.  When my father found out, he threatened to leave her and take custody of me.  Things weren’t going so well in their marriage at that point, so he began having an affair with a secretary from the hospital.  I always ran to Maria for comfort, never to my mother because she scared the shit out of me.  She reminded me of Faye Dunaway in the movie, Mommy Dearest,” he chuckled.  “The reason why I take such hot showers and baths is because I can’t stand to be in cold water.  The hot water comforts me and makes me feel safe,” he explained.

“I still can’t get over the fact that a mother would do such a thing to their child,” I replied.

“The fact that she still tries to control me and run my life for me, drives me mad.  It is the reason why I undressed you and scrubbed the makeup off of your face and pulled you into the shower.  I wanted to wash off everything she had done to you to show me she is still in control.  She wants to be the master, and I her puppet.  I really need you to understand that I didn’t hurt you intentionally tonight,” he said, holding on tighter to my hand.  “Please don’t leave me when we go back home.  I promise to work on myself and never again do what I did to you tonight,” he promised.

“I’m not going to leave you, Alex.  I said those words earlier because I thought you were purposely trying to hurt me.  I thought you were angry about something I didn’t do.  I wish you had told me this earlier,” I replied.

“It’s not something I like to talk about, but tonight’s events were intolerable.  My mother’s behavior was unforgivable. One would think I had an incredible childhood.  Rich family, beautiful penthouse apartment in upper Manhattan, chauffer, maid, cook,” he chuckled, “but nobody really knows what happened inside these walls while I was growing up.  I don’t want to come back here, Claire.  I don’t want to have anything to do with her,” he expressed, anger and frustration in his voice.

“She’s still your mother, Alex.  You have to forgive, forget, and move forward.  You don’t have to live your life exactly as she wants you to.  You don’t have to allow her to control you, but you do have to respect her.  The past is in the past.  You’re not a child anymore and she can’t physically abuse you like she did when you were little,” I replied.  The last thing I wanted was for Alex to turn on his mother.  She may have been abusive and controlling, but she was still his mother and he would have to find a way to forgive her for what she did to him in the past.  If something were to happen to her, he would never forgive himself.

“You always know exactly what to say, baby.  You’re my rock and I don’t know what I would do without you.  I would be nothing without you,” he whispered, combing his fingers through my hair and kissing my lips.  I lay down, my head in his lap as he continued to play with my hair.  He sat on that sofa with my head in his lap until dawn, when we headed to the bedroom and both fell asleep in each other’s arms.

Chapter 7

I was running as fast as I could run.  I tried so hard to pass the white van before the door slid open, but I wasn’t fast enough.  The dirty hands tried to grab me, as the shadow of the one behind me approached me and grabbed my waist as I collapsed.  I saw the face of the one who was chasing me.  It was Alex.  The pair of hands from the van still tried to grab me as Alex pulled me away.  I woke up with a scream, frightened, sweating as if I had been running a marathon.

“It’s okay,” Alex held me and brought me back to reality.  I got up and changed out of the sweaty clothes.  I wasn’t even going to try to go back to sleep.  Alex was sound asleep, so I decided to sit on the chaise lounge and collect myself.  My heart was still beating fast from the horrible dream.

My mind wandered to the letter I had received in LA before coming to New York.  Alex’s skeletons had come out of the closet, how his mother abused him as a child, her controlling personality, and his father’s affair with the woman from the hospital.  I wondered if there were more skeletons in his closet because I couldn’t handle anymore than I had found out during this visit with his family.  I had enough on my hands trying to keep Phil crawling into bed with me a secret from Alex. 

My skin felt better in the morning, as the stinging and redness had gone away.  Alex had applied an ointment, which seemed to work like a miracle.  I recalled Isabelle’s words from the night before, how she told Alex he could do better with Angela, since she is a doctor and I’m only a secretary.  I would never have expected his mother to feel that way, knowing about Angela’s infidelity and drug abuse.  Was Isabelle really that shallow?

I heard Alex turn over in the bed only to find my spot empty.  “Claire?” he called.

“I’m right here, Alex,” I replied from the chaise lounge.  He sat up and found me seated.

“Come here,” he said.

“I just want to sit here for a few minutes, Alex,” I replied.

“Is everything okay?  We can talk more about last night if you’d like,” he said.

“Last night is the last thing I want to talk about right now.”

“Are you still mad at me?” he asked, getting out of bed and walking over to the chaise lounge I was on.

“I’m not mad, Alex.  I’m just confused with all the strange things going on around us,” I confessed.

“Confused about what?  Us?” he asked, puzzled.  “We don’t have to stay here tonight, baby, we can stay at a hotel on our last night so you don’t have to be around my mother.  Whatever you want, just tell me and I will do it,” he offered.

“No, Alex.  Today, I’m going to pretend nothing happened last night.  It’s going to be another ordinary day at the Blake residence.  We will have breakfast with your parents as if nothing happened.  After all, it’s our last day here and the last thing I want is tension between you and your parents, especially your mother,” I replied.

“What have I done to deserve such a perfect woman, Claire?  You’re so much younger than I, yet so mature.  I love you so much,” he said, kissing me with his soft, warm lips.  “It’s still very early for breakfast.  Why don’t you come back to bed so I can hold you for a while,” he said, taking my hand and helping me off the chaise lounge and back to bed.

<><><>

Richard and Isabelle were already in the dining room eating breakfast when Alex and I joined them.  I put on my nicest smile as I headed over to the dining room and took a seat, Alex sitting beside me.  Isabelle had an interesting smile on her face, as if she were forcing herself to put that on her face.

“Good morning,” she began.  “So nice of you two to join us.  I was beginning to think you would be in that bedroom until noon,” she fixated her eyes on me while making that odd comment.

“You sure know how to brighten up one’s day,” Richard replied, sarcasm in his voice as he rolled his eyes.  Isabelle ignored his remark.  Alex remained quiet, but I chose to entertain her a little.

“What a beautiful event last night’s gala was.  I had a wonderful time,” I smiled as Isabelle’s smile vanished.  “I had such a difficult time removing the many pins from my hair and cleaning the makeup from my face, but Alex was a big help,” I added, applying my hand on his arm as I continued to smile.

“Coffee?” asked Maria as she entered the dining room with fresh coffee.

“Good morning, Maria.  You look really pretty today, as usual,” I complimented.  She blushed as she poured a cup of coffee for me.

“Thank you, Miss Claire,” she smiled.  When I glanced over at Isabelle, her lips were pressed together in a stern manner.  I could tell she wasn’t pleased with my early morning compliment to her employee.

“Maria, please make some more fresh squeezed orange juice,” she said, sending her back to the kitchen.

“If I were Maria, I would have quit this damn job years ago,” whispered Richard.

Alex laughed, “Yeah, dad, me too.  Mom, don’t you think you sound so authoritative sometimes?” he asked, turning to Isabelle.

“Nonsense,” she said. “She works for me.  She is not my friend or my family member for me to be so chummy with her.”

“Ha!  You’re just as authoritative and controlling with your own family, Isabelle,” Richard replied, stating exactly what was going on in my head.

The more the tension in that dining room grew, the faster Alex and I ate our food.  Richard left the table first, annoyed by the presence of his own wife.  Alex was next to put his napkin down and stood up.  I had been done for a few minutes, but didn’t attempt to get up.

“You done, baby?” he asked.

“Uh…yeah, thank you,” I replied, looking toward the kitchen where Maria was hard at work.

“You’re welcome,” replied Isabelle, glaring at me as she took a few more sips of coffee.

Alex took my hand as we headed to the library to discuss what we would do on our last day in that freezing cold city.

“What do you feel like doing today, baby?” he asked.

“Can we go ice skating?  I really loved it last time,” I replied.

“Of course,” he smiled, planting a kiss on my lips.  “We will go skating at Rockefeller Center this time.  Let’s go change into something warm.  Otherwise I won’t hear the end of how frozen you are,” he laughed.

We dressed as warm as we could and headed downstairs for the brisk walk to Rockefeller Center.  I was so cold, but didn’t want to complain to Alex about it, since I had done enough of it since we had arrived in New York.

“You’re freezing, aren’t you, baby?” he asked.

I laughed, “I didn’t want to say anything, but now that you mentioned it, yes I am.”

“California so much more than New York,” he confirmed.  I nodded, picking up my pace to warm myself up.  Not too long after beginning our walk, we arrived at the ice skating rink.  As we began to skate, hand in hand, Alex brought up the conversation at the breakfast table.  “You seem to know how to handle my mother quite well.  Any other woman would have been too uncomfortable to be around her after what she pulled last night, but you’re something else,” he smiled.  “I think she may have finally met her match,” he said proudly, putting his arm around me.

“Alex, I’m not in a competition or some match with your mother.  I just wanted to lighten things up from last night.  I didn’t want her to think she could use me to get whatever she wants.  I think she’s just having a hard time accepting the fact that you and Angela are divorcing.  She seems to really like her, Alex, and she’s hoping for another chance for the two of you,” I noted.

“There’s never going to be another chance with Angela and I,” he replied, agitated by even the thought of it.

“You and I know it, but she still has hope.  I think in time she will accept it and move on from the idea,” I replied.

“I sure hope so, because you are going to be the mother of my twelve children,” he grinned.

“Uh, let’s not get too carried away, okay?” I replied, pulling away.

“All right, fine.  Six children.  That seems fair, doesn’t it?” he asked.

“How about one?” I replied.

“No way.  Four,” he stated.

“Two,” I replied.

“Three,” he came back.

“Two.  If we have one of each, we stop at two,” I noted.

“What if we have two boys or two girls?  We go for a third, right?” he asked.

“Maybe, just maybe there will be a third if we want to try for a different gender,” I replied.

“Deal,” he said, extending his hand to shake on it.  I extended my hand and shook his hand as he pulled me close to him, his lips meeting mine.  “You should know by now that every deal has to be sealed with a kiss, otherwise it’s not valid,” he said as he sealed the deal with a kiss.

We ice skated for a few hours and had worked up an appetite.  I wanted something warm.  Anything warm.  We turned in our ice skates and changed back into our boots to walk to a place to eat.

Alex suggested an eatery that was known for their clam chowder called Louder for Chowder.  It was warm and cozy inside and the aroma of the clam chowder made me even hungrier.  Once inside, I removed my mittens, scarf, and coat.  Alex didn’t want us to stuff ourselves since he wanted to take me out for a nice dinner on our last night in New York.

The clam chowder arrived in a sourdough bowl.  It was going to be difficult not to stuff myself.  The idea of us sharing one bowl hadn’t occurred to me while we ordered.

After we finished, we began the walk back to the Blake’s apartment.  We walked much slower this time, as our bodies were working hard at digesting the heavy meal.  Once we approached the building, we noticed Alex’s father talking loudly to George, complaining about something.  We walked a little faster as we headed toward him to listen to what he was so angry about.

“That woman is crazy!” I heard him say.

“Dad, what’s going on?” Alex asked as we approached him.

“I’m going to the hospital.  I will sleep there tonight,” he replied, so angry about something.

“What? Why?” Asked Alex, puzzled.

“Because your mother is crazy, that’s why.  I need some time away from that woman.  It’s so much more comfortable sleeping at the hospital, knowing that at least the people there don’t reprimand or scream at me for the stupidest shit,” he yelled.  “If I don’t see you two, please have a safe flight home.  It was lovely meeting you,” he said, turning to me.  “I could see why Alex loves you so much.  Hang on tight to this one, son.  She’s nothing like your mother,” he said, turning to Alex.  Richard hugged us both and sat in the car, as George drove off.

“Something tells me we’re going to hear it from my mother too, once we are up there,” he said, scratching his chin.  I wasn’t in the mood to hear anymore yelling, screaming, complaining, or blaming.  It was draining the happiness and peace out of me. 

I held on tightly to Alex’s hand as Hank escorted us to the elevator and took us up to the Blake’s penthouse suite.  Once inside, I could hear Isabelle complaining to Maria about Richard’s temper.

“He’s so angry about nothing.  Was I wrong, Maria?  Did I say something so horrible for him to react as he did?” she asked, but Maria just shook her head.  Even if she didn’t agree with Isabelle, she would be too afraid to admit it.

“We just saw dad leaving for the night.  What is going on?” Alex demanded an answer.

“Oh dear, he’s just angry at me again for bringing up that worthless secretary he used to admire so much,” she replied, fixating her eyes on me.  I stood still and didn’t react.  I just looked at her, my face plain, straight, and my eyes piercing into hers, letting her know she cannot hurt me with her harsh words.  “I’m going to Caroline’s for the evening.  She’s invited all the girls for a movie night and since your father won’t be here, I will most likely spend the night there,” she said and headed toward her bedroom.

Isabelle didn’t say goodbye before she left.  We weren’t sure whether she would return that evening or if we wouldn’t see her before we left New York.  At least Richard said his goodbyes.

I went to the library and sat on the recliner, reading a book I had started to read, but hadn’t had a chance to finish.  Alex poured himself a drink and sat at the desk, browsing on the computer.

“Claire, I’m sorry about those horrible things my mother said,” he said.

“What things?” I asked.

“You know, about the secretary my father used to have an affair with,” he replied.

“I didn’t hear anything about a secretary,” I replied, sarcastically.  “Did she say something about a secretary?” I added.

“Okay, okay.  I get it.  You do a very good job at ignoring unpleasant comments.  I love you, baby,” he smiled.

“I love you, too,” I replied, returning the smile.

<><><>

Alex had made special dinner arrangements for that evening.  He wouldn’t tell me where we were going, only that I should wear something sexy.  I searched through the new dresses Isabelle had purchased for me during our interesting shopping adventure.  I found a black Mandalay dress with a very low neckline.  I had the perfect Yves Saint Laurent shoes to go with it.  I showered, applied makeup and styled my hair.

Alex looked very handsome in a white tight fitting button up shirt with black stitching, matching black slacks with a black Gucci belt and matching shoes.  He looked good no matter what he wore.  He could wear a beanbag and still look like he belongs on a cover of a magazine.

We said our goodbye’s to Maria, since we wouldn’t see her in the morning because we had to head to the airport early.  She hugged Alex tightly, her eyes tearing as if she were saying goodbye to her own son.

“It was a pleasure meeting you, Claire.  Thank you for everything,” she said.

“I should be the one thanking you, Maria.  You have cooked, cleaned, and done our laundry.  All I did was take you for a haircut and a manicure,” I laughed.

“It really meant a lot to me.  You two come back here soon, okay?” she said before heading home for the night.

Alex and I took the elevator down and met George by the car.  He was to take us to our destination and go home for the evening.  Alex told him we would take a cab back home.

“I will need you early in the morning to take us to the airport, so you should call it a night,” he said.

“Sure, of course,” George replied and drove us to wherever Alex had picked to dine for the evening.

George stopped the car in front of a huge, tall, black glass building.  It didn’t look like a restaurant.  It looked like a corporate building.  As long as I didn’t have to walk in that cold weather in those high heels, I didn’t care where we went.  Alex took my hand and helped me out of the car and into the building.

We took the elevators up all the way to the top where I assumed would be a fancy restaurant or something of that sort.  The elevators stopped at the chosen destination as the doors opened.  We stepped out and entered a beautiful set of double doors.  My jaw dropped when I looked inside.  It was a large empty space with large windows all over, overlooking the entire city.  Right next to the windows was a table for two to enjoy a romantic dinner.  Only candles were used to light the large space, which looked like it was going to be used for a corporate office space.

I couldn’t get over the view.  I felt as though all of New York was right under my feet.  A man in a tuxedo entered the room and pulled our chairs for us to take a seat at the table.  A violinist popped up out of nowhere and played softly on the violin.

“What is all this, Alex?” I asked, still in surprise.

“Well, last night didn’t turn out so well at the gala, so I wanted to do something special for you tonight.  It’s just the two of us here with a beautiful view of the city, great food, and some music we can slow dance to,” he replied.

“I love it, Alex.  Thank you,” I said, reaching for his hand across the table.

“Anything for you,” he smiled.

The waiter poured wine into our glasses and let me know what Alex had ordered for the evening.  I didn’t even care much about what we were going to eat.  I was in the company of Alex with a violinist in the background, enjoying the most breathtaking views I had ever seen in my life.  It couldn’t get better than this.

After we ate, Alex stood up and asked me to dance.  Things had been so horrible the night before, but this surprise from Alex made all of it seem as though it never even happened. 

“Can I ask you a question?” Alex asked as we slow danced.

“Ask me anything,” I replied.

“Do you think less of me after I told you about what my mother used to do to me as a child?” he asked.

“Of course not, Alex.  Although, I do think less of your mother,” I replied.  “Why would I think less of you?” I asked.

“I don’t want you to think of me as a weak man because I was slightly abused as a child,” he expressed.

“Never, Alex.  I see you as a stronger man, actually.  Not everyone in your shoes would be able to overcome something like that and do the great things you do as a surgeon.  Do you think less of me because I was raped?” I asked.

“No way,” he replied quickly.

“Then we’re even,” I smiled.

<><><>

We took a cab back to the apartment after a few pleasant hours of dining, drinking, and dancing.  What a beautiful way to wrap up our vacation, I thought.  Isabelle hadn’t returned from her friend’s place, so I assumed she was spending the night there after all.

I was happy to get out of those high, uncomfortable, sexy shoes.  Alex unzipped my dress slowly as he kissed the back of my neck and unclasped my bra.  The dress made it to the floor rather quickly, as did my bra and panties.  He spun me around to face him as he kissed me on my lips, pulling my body closer to his.  I could feel his hardness against me through his clothes.  I began to unbutton his shirt as we continued to kiss.  I unbuckled his belt next as he lost his trousers to the floor in no time.

I was down on my knees, his erection in my mouth as I pushed my mouth in and out as Alex pushed himself deeper into my mouth with his hand on the back of my head.

“Ahh,” he yelled out as I continued what I was doing.  I stood up to face him as he pushed me onto the bed and spread my legs wide.  His tongue was between my thighs, licking, circling, and sucking as he began to penetrate me with his fingers.  My heart began to race as I moaned.

He stood up at the end of the bed and pulled me closer to him as I lay on the bed.  He entered me from a standing position, pushing himself deeper and deeper into me, my legs wrapped around his neck.  He released my legs and grabbed me by the hips, moving quicker as he penetrated into me.  The faster he moved, the quicker I felt myself losing control until my body finally gave in as I came, moaning loudly, as Alex groaned, his chest collapsing onto my breasts.

I had a feeling I was going to sleep like a baby that night as I lay my head on Alex’s chest, his fingers strumming through my hair.  As homesick as I was, I wished we had another day or two in New York.  I felt so calm and at peace, aside from Isabelle putting a damper on the trip by ruining one of the most beautiful evenings for Alex and I.

Maria had packed most of our things, so we didn’t need to worry about waking up very early for that.  I wasn’t looking forward to the flight, the anxious traveler that I was, but Alex had downloaded a few movies on my tablet to keep my mind occupied while we flew.  With those thoughts, I somehow drifted off into the land of sleep.

<><><>

George was ready and waiting for us downstairs the next morning.  Alex checked to see if his mother had returned from her friend’s place, but her bedroom was empty.  Maria had been more teary-eyed while saying goodbye to Alex the night before, but his own mother couldn’t care less that he was leaving.  Who knew when she would see him again?  Didn’t she care about anyone but herself?  I guess I would leave New York without those answers.

We arrived at the airport and said goodbye to George.  I thanked him for all the driving he did for us and Alex gave him a wrapped gift.  When I asked him what he had gotten for him, he said, “Cuban cigars.  George loves Cuban cigars,” he smiled.

The flight back to Los Angeles was very smooth and went by rather quickly, since I was preoccupied with the interesting movies Alex had downloaded onto my tabled.  I was relieved when we landed and looked forward to spending the remainder of the day with Alex at his house, as it was still early afternoon in LA due to the three-hour time difference from the East Coast.

Alex and I were both due at work the following day.  My medical leave had come to an end and so had Alex’s vacation.  Once we arrived to his house in Malibu, Alex packed his bag for the rest of the week, since we usually stayed at my condo on weeknights.

I called my mother to let her know we had made it safely back into town.  She was still at work and so was my father.  Alex watered a few dry plants around his house after he packed his things.  I went out to the back and admired the ocean.  All the cold and snow in New York had made me miss the California sun and beautiful blue ocean.  Even in January, the weather was in the seventies.  It was such a drastic change from where we had been for the past few weeks.

On the way to my place, we stopped for groceries so we wouldn’t have to worry about it during the week, as there was nothing in my refrigerator or pantry.  I didn’t realize how much I missed my condo until I walked inside.  I must have been a little homesick and hadn’t even realized it.

Alex made shrimp scampi and a fresh salad while I unpacked my things and prepared my clothes for work the next day.  I followed my nose downstairs to the dining room with my mouth watering.

After we finished eating, I helped Alex clean up and poured two glasses of wine for us to sip on outside on the verandah.

“Angela didn’t know a good thing when it was staring her right in the face.  I can’t say that I’m upset about that because you wouldn’t be mine right now if she had you,” I confessed.  “I know it sounds selfish, but I’m glad that I’m the one to have you, Alex,” I added.

“Let’s call it love, not selfishness,” he smiled.

“Let’s drink to that,” I said as I held my wine glass to his.

“To us,” he said.

“To us,” I agreed.

“So tell me, what was your favorite part about our trip to New York?” he asked.

“That’s easy.  My favorite part of that entire trip was when you surprised me with all my friends and family on New Year’s Eve,” I replied.

“Yeah, I thought you’d love that,” he said.

“I know you went through so much trouble organizing and planning that.  It meant so much to me, Alex.  And it was even more special when John proposed to Kathy,” I said.

“Yes it was.  I guess we have a few weddings to attend this year, don’t we?” he asked.

“We do.  Speaking of Kathy, I promised her I would have lunch with her this Sunday.  John is working, so she wants to have a little girl time,” I said.

“Sounds good to me.  I should put in some time at the gym.  All that eating in New York is beginning to catch up to me,” he said, his hand on his flat, muscular abdomen.

“Oh, please, Alex.  If you didn’t have such a nice eight-pack, I’d understand your frustration.  You may not want to do that in front of someone with a big belly.  You would make them feel horrible about themselves,” I laughed.  “I’m in desperate need of yoga and a good run.  Once I get back into the swing of things again, it’s on,” I added.

“You’re not going to run alone, are you?” a very concerned Alex asked.

“I was going to extend an invitation to you, of course,” I replied, smiling.

“I accept,” he said, kissing me on the lips.  “I would love to go running with you, although, you will probably kick my ass, but it’ll be worth it.”

I was feeling a little bit of the jet lag kick in so I headed upstairs, showered and hit the sheets early.  Alex wasn’t sleepy yet, so he decided to stay downstairs and catch up on a few emails for work.

It felt like I had only been asleep for a few minutes when I felt Alex’s warm lips on the back of my neck and his hand on my breast.  I glimpsed at the clock to find it was already eleven o’clock.  I turned my body to face him, responding to his kisses.  His hair felt wet and his mouth tasted like fresh peppermint.  His body felt so hot against mine, so I knew he had taken another scalding hot shower.  His hand headed down towards my bottom as he squeezed hard, moving it back to my breast.  His lips left my lips and headed for my breasts as circled his tongue around my nipple.

I began to perspire and still felt drowsy from the deep sleep I had been in, but I welcomed the lovemaking.  Alex moved himself on top of me, entering me slowly as he kissed me softly, moving toward my neck, my ear.  His warm breath in my ear sent shivers down my spine.  He pushed his pelvis toward mine as he penetrated deeper with every move.

He pulled himself out of me and turned me on top of him.  I sat on his erection, pushing him deep into me.  He thrust himself into me as I pushed him deeper into me.  I circled my hips as he pushed himself in and out, causing him to groan.  He turned me over onto all fours as he came at me from behind, entering me again, his hands on my hips.  He pulled my body toward him as he thrust into me fast and hard.

A few moments later he turned me back on top of him as I sat on him again, squeezing myself as I pulled him into me.  He pushed harder and deeper as I moved him into me as far as he could go, squeezing, circling my hips until we both came together.  My body convulsed along with Alex.  My heart felt as though it was going to jump out of my chest.  I pulled him out of me and threw myself next to him.  I needed a few minutes to collect myself and waited for my heart to slow down.  Alex was also perspiring, breathing heavy.  He extended his arm out for me so I could rest my head on his chest.

“Your heart is beating so fast, Alex,” I said.

“My heart only beats like this for you,” he replied.

“Likewise,” I said, still catching my breath.

Chapter 8

Alex left at four thirty in the morning and I was glad to have a few more hours of sleep before I had to get up.  I felt excited and a little anxious returning to work after being out on leave for six weeks.  I was going to have to get used to the daily grind all over again after the relaxing vacation in New York.

After a long drive in the morning traffic in Los Angeles, I arrived at Downtown Memorial Hospital.  I parked my car in the parking structure and headed into the building.

As I waited for the elevator, I heard a woman’s laughter coming from down the hall.  It sounded familiar to me.  When I turned to look that way, I found Taryn Simmonds, the director of the Recovery Unit laughing like a hyena and flirting with Dr. Mark Kohler, the orthopedic surgeon.

She stopped laughing when she saw me and headed toward me with Mark.  The elevator wasn’t opening fast enough that morning.  “Hello, Clara,” she began, “I’m glad to see you back in one piece,” she said, the artificial smile painted on her face.  She wore a white low cut blouse, revealing plenty of cleavage and a tight gray pencil skirt along with black patent leather stilettos.  Her hair was dyed so blond, it was almost white and her tan was as orange as ever.  I wondered how she would look if she let herself go natural, as she was a beautiful woman beneath all that extra dye and tan.

“Welcome back,” said Mark in his usual perverted grin, his tall, lean body hovering over me as his bright white teeth glowed as he smiled.

“Alex told me you two were in New York, Clara,” Taryn said.  Thankfully, the elevator opened just then and I was able to get away from those two.

“Yes, New York was great,” I said quickly before the elevator doors closed.  I hated when that woman called me “Clara”.  That is not what my parents named me.

When I arrived at my desk that morning, I was surprised to find a bouquet of flowers waiting for me.  It was from the ladies in the department, welcoming me back from my leave.  I thanked each and every one of them and took a seat at my desk.  Laura appeared at my desk seconds later.

“I have good news and bad news,” she began.

“How bad is the bad news?” I asked, anxiously.

“It’s really not that bad.  I will start with the good news.  Yesterday, Walter offered me a position I had applied for a few weeks ago.  It’s a financial analyst position,” she informed.

“That’s great!” I said, getting up and hugging her.  “What is the bad news, then?” I asked again.

“The bad news is that we won’t be working together in this department, but I will be right next door.  We can still go to lunch together whenever we can,” she noted.

“Laura, I’m so happy for you. Congratulations. Your degree is in finance, right?” I asked.

“Yes.  I love numbers.  It’s exactly where I want to be, or where I want to start, anyway,” she explained.

“We should celebrate by having lunch together,” I winked.

“For sure,” she replied.

It took almost the entire morning to sort through all the emails that were sent to me while I was out.  It felt good to return to work and have a normal schedule again.  Laura and I decided to have lunch at the Cuban deli and catch up on things.  She filled me in on all the happenings while I was out.

“Taryn was as fake as ever.  I think she and Dr. Kohler are seeing each other.  They’re always together,” she said.

“I think you’re right.  I saw them together this morning.  Unless they are just good friends or something,” I replied.

“Taryn and ‘good friends’ in one sentence doesn’t add up, Claire.  She’s either sleeping with him or she isn’t,” she said and I couldn’t help but laugh.

I realized that I hadn’t heard from Alex all morning.  He must be busy, I thought.  After all, it was his first day back at work and in the operating room.

After lunch, Walter called me into his office.  I figured he needed to bring me up to date on things while I was out on leave.  I was wrong.

“Welcome back, Claire.  We really missed you around here,” he said.

“Thank you, Walter.  I missed being here as well,” I replied.

“I recall during your interview, you had mentioned that you want to climb the ladder in the healthcare organization, is that correct?” he asked.

“Y-yes, that’s what I said,” I replied.

“Do you think you can manage the Admitting department?” he asked.

My eyes lit up.  Was Walter offering me a promotion?  “Of course, I mean, yes, if someone could train me,” I replied.

“Anabelle will train you before she leaves,” he said.  Anabelle Smith was the current manager of that department.

“She’s leaving?” I asked.

“Her husband’s company is relocating to the Midwest, so she’s moving out that way.  I think it would be a great step in the right direction for you, Claire.  What do you say?” he asked.

“I say definitely.  Thank you, Walter.  Thanks for believing in me,” I replied.

“Training begins next Monday.  Anabelle will be gone two weeks after that.  I have full faith in you and I know you’re going to do exceptionally well,” he said, smiling.

I was overflowing with excitement when I returned to my desk.  “You look happy,” Laura whispered.  “What happened?  What did he say?” she asked.

“He offered me Anabelle’s position in Admitting,” I replied.

Laura’s eyes sparkled.  “This is totally our year, isn’t it?” she asked, smiling.  “Walter told me there are going to be a lot of changes in the hospital in the near future, so there will be many opportunities to grow,” she informed.  “After the wedding, I’m going to go back to school for my master’s.  If I want to become a CFO one day, I can’t do it with only a bachelor’s degree,” she noted.

“Do that before you make babies,” I laughed.

“Oh hell yeah,” she chuckled.

When I looked at the time, it was past five o’clock and I still hadn’t heard from Alex.  No phone call.  No text message.  It wasn’t like him at all to be so silent all day.  He would at least send a text message to tell me that he loved me or ask if I wanted to meet for lunch or what I wanted for dinner.

I walked to the parking structure to head home and noticed Alex’s Porsche wasn’t parked there anymore.  I figured he was probably on his way home, so I called him.  No answer.  He’s probably surprising me with a romantic gourmet dinner for two, I thought as I drove home a little excited that I may find a surprise waiting for me.  But Alex wasn’t home.

I decided not to worry too much and popped in a yoga DVD and kept myself busy with that.  An hour passed.  No Alex.  I headed upstairs, took a long bath and even washed and dried my hair.  Still no sign of Alex.  I called him again, left a message and even sent another text message

Where are you, Alex?  I’ve been worried.  Call me.

It was past nine o’clock when I heard the door open and Alex appeared.  He looked upset as he walked past me and poured himself a drink from the bar.  He began gulping the cognac instead of sipping like he usually does.

“Alex, where have you been?” I asked.

“At Howard’s office,” he replied, staring off into space as he poured another drink.

“Who is Howard?” I asked.  I recalled seeing that name pop up on his phone before I knew about Angela.

“He’s my attorney,” he replied, coldly.

“What happened?  Why are you so upset?  I’ve been calling you and texting you for hours, Alex.  You could have at least replied to let me know you’re okay.  I was so worried—”

He slammed down the empty glass after gulping some more, “Last I checked, you’re not my wife,” he said and stormed upstairs.

I didn’t dare follow.  I was still trying to absorb his last statement.  What was that supposed to mean?  What had suddenly set him off?

I opened the refrigerator and made myself a salad and warmed up some grocery store garlic bread.  I heard footsteps upstairs and could hear the water running through the pipes, so I knew he was in the shower.  I poured myself a glass of chardonnay and scarfed down the food.  I finished two large glasses of wine before Alex finally came downstairs.  I didn’t look at him, nor did I speak to him.

He sat beside me, but I got up and took my dish and empty wine glass to the kitchen.  He followed me.  I knew he wanted to apologize or at least make conversation, but I was having a hard time trying to swallow his last comment.  I wasn’t his wife, he was right.  I poured myself a third glass of chardonnay and went outside on the verandah.

Alex followed me out there, trying to make conversation.  “Claire, look—”

“Last I checked, you’re not my husband,” I cut him off.

“I’m such an asshole.  I’m sorry, baby,” he began to apologize.

“You’re sorry?  I don’t know what happened at work today or with your lawyer, Howard, or whatever his name is, but you have no right to take it out on me,” I replied, sternly.

“You’re absolutely right.  Like I said, I’m an asshole.  At least hear me out, please,” he said.

“Go on.  I’m listening,” I said.

“Angela showed up at the hospital today.  Long story short, she has been contacting my mother - her biggest fan.  I was at Howard’s office to see if I could get a restraining order so she can’t keep coming around, but it turns out that’s not how it works.  She’s not hurting me or threatening me in any way, so there’s no reason for a restraining order.  She wanted money, most likely for drugs.  She looked strung out with track marks covering her arms.  My mother has been sending a few bucks here and there and sent her to me, promising that I would help out.  Security is going to look out for her and ask her to leave if she ever returns.  I just want a clean divorce.  Is that too much to ask for?  Don’t I deserve at least that much?” he asked.

“You do, Alex, and you will get it sooner or later, don’t worry,” I consoled him.  He cupped my face with his hands, brushing softly against my cheeks with his thumbs.

“I’m really sorry for taking all this shit out on you, baby.  It was so wrong of me,” he apologized.

“It’s okay, Alex.  I understand.  I’m just glad that you’re sharing all this with me and not holding anything back.  That means a lot to me because I know how hard it is for you to talk about Angela with me,” I replied.  I knew Alex’s mother wasn’t going to let things go so quickly.  She didn’t like me and that was that.  The thought of Isabelle reminded me of the promotion.  “On a brighter note, I got a promotion today,” I notified him.

“That’s great, baby!” he said, holding me closer and kissing me.  “What position?”  I told Alex all the details of my meeting with Walter.  He couldn’t be happier for me.  “Congratulations, baby,” he said.

“At least your mother won’t be able to call me a secretary anymore, right?” I said as we both laughed.

“Even if you washed lettuce at a local fast food joint, I’d still love you the same and her opinion about you wouldn’t matter,” he replied.

“You really know how to apologize, don’t you?” I said.

“I’m an asshole, but I guess I’m not so bad with apologies,” he kissed me softly on the lips.

<><><>

The following morning, I overslept just a bit.  I panicked when I woke up because I didn’t want to be late for work, especially after Walter had offered me a much higher position.  It would look bad to show up tardy, especially when we had a staff meeting.  I made it to work just a few minutes before the meeting began.  It took a moment or two to collect myself and catch my breath, since I ran from the parking structure to make it on time.  Running up the stairs instead of using the elevator had done a number on me as well.  My body was telling me how out of shape it was.

Walter announced Laura’s promotion as well as mine.  The other administrative assistants were happy about the news, but also sad to see us leave the department.  They told Walter he must find someone with at least half as good of a work ethic as me.  He was going to interview a few qualified candidates for our positions.

Shorty after noon, I received a text message from Alex.

Hi, baby.  Did you want to grab a quick bite before I have to work in the clinic?

Sure.  Falafel or Cuban?

Hmm…I have a taste for falafel today.

I met Alex downstairs by the front entrance of the hospital.  He smiled big when he saw me, putting his arm around me.  As we walked slowly toward Falafel Palace, a familiar face walked toward us.  I knew her.  I had seen her before.  It was Angela.  She looked like a mess.  Her hair was not combed, her clothes were dirty and her shoes looked like second hand run down shoes.  She was very jittery, twitching slightly as she walked toward us. She sure wasn’t the beauty that had knocked on Alex’s door a while back.

“Alex, I need to talk to you,” she said, nervous, shaking.

“You can talk to my lawyer, Angie,” he replied

“Please, Alex.  Do you have any spare change?” she asked.  I reached into my handbag for my wallet, but Alex stopped me.

“Let me buy you a meal.  If you need clothes or shoes, I would be more than glad to provide it for you,” Alex offered her.

“I’m not hungry,” she shook her head.  “I just need a little bit of spare change,” she pleaded.

“Why don’t you ask Peter?  I’m sure he can spot you some cash.   After all, you are his booty call, aren’t you?  Oh, I’m sorry, you used to be his booty call.  Now he’s back with his beautiful wife and family and probably doesn’t even know you exist,” he said, so cold and harsh.  With his arm still around my waist, he pulled me toward the direction we were to walk in.

I looked back at Angela and she looked teary-eyed.  She was wearing a long sleeve sweater, so I couldn’t see the track marks Alex had referred to.  While eating, Alex was very quiet.  I knew he still felt something for Angela, even though he denied it.  Deep down inside, I knew he wished she wasn’t the way she is.  I knew he wished her well.

“We should help her, Alex,” I said.

“How?  We can’t help her, baby.  She has to want to help herself.  She has to care enough about herself to clean up.  Any money you give her is going to go to drugs or booze, Claire.  You can’t fall for it.  I’ve learned the hard way.  It’s time to let go and focus on finalizing this divorce.  I don’t want to talk about it anymore,” he said, ending that discussion.

We continued to eat very quietly, neither one of us saying a word.  The remainder of the day was busy, which was a good thing, as it kept my mind off of Angela and Alex’s anger and hatred toward her.

A text message arrived from Stefano, asking if Alex and I would like to meet him and Mandy for drinks on Friday night.  I told him I would talk to Alex about it and let him know.  Katherine also sent a message reminding me of our lunch on Sunday.  I had forgotten about it, so I was glad she sent a reminder to confirm.

When I got home that night, Alex had already prepared dinner.  I walked in to find a romantic candlelight dinner for two.  He had baked fish sautéed asparagus.  The beautiful crystal Tiffany vase he had gifted me when I first moved into my place was filled with fresh red roses.

“Hi, beautiful,” he greeted me with a soft kiss on the lips.

“What have I done to deserve all this?” I asked.  I knew it was his way of apologizing for the night before.

“I had planned on doing all this for you yesterday, since it was your first day back at work, but I was an asshole, remember?  It was such a bad day yesterday and I want to make up for everything I said and did,” he replied.

“I’d say this is a great way of making up with me,” I smiled.

During dinner, I told Alex about Stefano’s invitation for Friday night.  He seemed interested, so I responded to Stefano’s text, letting him know that we would be joining them.

I took the dishes to the kitchen and put them inside the sink.  I felt Alex standing behind me, turning off the sink water that I had just turned on to wash the dishes.

“I will take care of those later,” he said, moving my hands away from the sink as he kissed the back of my neck, moving onto my ear lobe.  I could feel his warm breath in my ear, which gave me sudden goose bumps all over my body.  I spun around to face him as his lips met mine, his tongue pushing against mine.  He tasted like the fresh berries we had for desert.  He took my hand and led me up the stairs to my bedroom, where a few more candles burned slowly.  He unbuttoned my blouse, as I removed his t-shirt.  He unbuttoned my pants as I pulled down his sweats and boxers, revealing his hardness.  He pressed his body against mine, one hand on my bare bottom and the other on the back of my head.

I was down on my knees, my mouth wise open as I took him in.  He pushed himself deeper into my mouth as he groaned.  I gripped him with one hand as I continued to take him as deep as I could into my mouth.  He pulled himself out of my mouth and I stood up, facing him.  He kissed me hard, his wet erection pressed against my pelvis.  He spun me around put me on my bed as he continued to kiss me.  His lips were everywhere; my lips, my neck, my breasts, my abdomen, and finally down there.  His tongue stopped inside my thighs, sending an electrical current up and down my spine.  He moved back up, kissing my abdomen, my breasts, biting and sucking on my nipples before he moved back to my lips.  I felt him enter me as he kissed me softly and slowly.  I welcomed him, as it felt so good as it always did to feel him move inside of me.  I squeezed tighter and tighter, feeling an orgasm approaching.  My heart began to race and so did his.  I could feel him begin to lose control as we both lost control.  I let out a loud moan as we both seized, holding on tightly to one another as we came.  He continued to kiss me as he whispered, “I love you, baby,” into my ear.

We were both exhausted, listless.  We had fallen asleep for a few hours in each other’s arms.  I thought about getting up and cleaning the dishes from dinner, but Alex didn’t want to part.  We made love again and slept until morning, our bodies intertwined.

<><><>

Alex and I decided to carpool on Friday, since we had made plans to meet Stefano and Mandy for drinks.  Time flew by rather quickly, as there was still a lot of work to catch up on since I had returned.  I had to make sure to get as much work done as possible, since I would begin training for my new position on Monday.

I met Alex by his Porsche near six o’clock and we headed to the pub.  I was so quiet on the drive there that Alex had to nudge me, “Wake up, baby,” he said.

“What? Oh, I’m sorry, Alex.  I was thinking about work and my new upcoming position.  I’m just thinking about how busy and stressful the next few weeks are going to be,” I replied.

“Don’t stress out about it.  You’re going to kick ass at anything you do.  I’m not worried about you,” he winked and turned his eyes back on the road.

We entered the pub to find Stefano and Mandy seated at Stefano’s favorite corner booth.  He had already ordered several appetizers, but they hadn’t begun eating just yet.  We ordered drinks and caught up on everything.  Alex announced that I had been promoted, so we drank to that.

“How is your mother, Stefano?” I asked.  Julietta Mancini was the owner of Mancini Dance Studio, a very prestigious dance studio that created professional dancers.  Stefano Mancini was among those dancers.

“She’s doing great.  She’s been asking about you, though.  You should come by and visit one day.  I’m sure she would be very ecstatic to see you again,” he said.

“I miss her.  I will stop by after work sometime next week,” I replied. 

Mandy looked prettier than ever.  I could tell she was very happy and in love with Stefano, and he with her.  I didn’t see his motorcycle helmet anywhere.

“You drove your car, didn’t you?” I asked.

“Yeah, I’m living a little less dangerously these days,” he replied, his arm around Mandy.

Alex laughed, “It’s a good thing, Stefano.  As exciting as it can be to ride a motorcycle, it can also put you in your grave pretty quickly,” he said.

“You’re not into bikes, are you?” asked Stefano.

“I used to be when I was younger.  I even had a motorcycle - a Suzuki.  My friend and I were out enjoying a nice ride on our bikes until I thought I was a stunt man and crashed, flew off, broke my leg and that was the end of my motorcycle days,” he explained.

“Oh man, that really sucks.  I’ve had a few close calls, so I know I should slow down before I break into pieces,” Stefano replied, chuckling.

“Can we change the subject to something less dangerous?  Like what drink we are going to order next?” I intervened.

“Yes!  Thank you, Claire,” said Stefano as we ordered another drink.  Alex was pacing himself, as he was the designated driver.  He only had one drink and stopped drinking so I could enjoy the evening.

“I’ll drink to that,” said Mandy as she downed the remainder of alcohol in her glass.

We drank and laughed and drank some more.  I stopped drinking when I felt my lips going numb.  I knew that if I continued to drink, I would become drunk and start saying things to Alex that I normally wouldn’t sober.  I wanted to enjoy the evening without waking up to the feeling of a hammer slamming into my head.

It was past eleven when we finally decided to call it a night.  I hugged Stefano and Mandy and promised to visit the dance studio to see Julietta.  We picked up Alex’s car from the valet and headed to his house in Malibu where we would spend the weekend.

<><><>

When I woke up the next morning, I didn’t know where I was initially.  It was a sign of a good night sleep.  A few seconds later, I realized I was at Alex’s house in Malibu and in his comfortable bed.  When I turned my head to face him, he was already awake with his elbow on his pillow and his head propped up by his hand.

“Let me guess, Alex.  You were watching me sleep,” I said.

He smiled, releasing his head from his hand and pulling me closer to him.  “I love watching you sleep.  I love watching you in general,” he replied, his hand softly caressing my shoulder as my head rested on his hard chest.  I was surprised when I looked at the time to find out it was already ten o’clock and Alex wasn’t up and about, making breakfast.

“What possessed you to stay in bed so late, Alex?” I asked.

“You didn’t like finding me next to you first thing in the morning?” he asked, grinning.

“Oh no, don’t get me wrong, I love having you next to me instead of in the kitchen early in the morning.  I wish we could do this more often.  How long have you been awake?” I asked.

“About two hours.  I wanted to hold you, but didn’t want to awaken you.  I’m really tired, baby.  I think the week finally caught up to me,” he smiled.

“Then let’s stay here for a few more hours,” I said.

“Anything you want, baby,” he replied, as he buried his nose in my hair and kissed the top of my head.

My body was sore from oversleeping and so was Alex’s.  Aside from my mild headache from all the alcohol I had had the night before, my body was aching.  It served me right.  We got up and stretched together for a few minutes and that helped quite a bit.  After a nice shower and a delicious breakfast served by Alex, we decided to dress warm and take a slow walk along the beach.

The sun shined bright and the smooth sound of the waves crashing gently into the shore reminded me of how much I loved California.  It wasn’t everywhere that you could take a walk along the beach without freezing in the middle of winter.

I thought about Angela and why she cheated on Alex and gave up the wonderful life she had with him.  I imagined spending forever with him and how much in love I would still be, even fifty years later.  The image of her from the other day came into my mind and I hoped she was okay.

“Alex, do you think Angela is going to be okay?” I asked.

He sighed a long sigh, thinking of the right answer.  “I sure hope so.  I don’t know how else to help her.  I would buy food for her any day, but money is out of the question.  I know what she’s going to spend it on and that’s going to end her life,” he became agitated, running his fingers through his hair.  “Shit, Claire, why did you have to bring up Angela?” he began to walk faster as I tried to keep up with him.  “We’re taking this romantic walk along the beach on this beautiful day and all you want to do is talk about her,” he added.

“I’m just worried about her, Alex,” I replied, defending myself.

“Do me a favor and don’t worry about her.  You’re just going to wear yourself out by worrying about her, and you’re not going to get anywhere.  Believe me, I know.  I’m speaking from experience.  Every day of my life I wonder what went wrong, what I did wrong, where or how I fucked up.  Was I a bad husband?  Did I not treat her right?  Did I say or do something wrong to push her into the arms of another man?  Did she start doing drugs because of me?  I blame myself for what has happened to her and for what is currently happening to her.  I don’t know why, but I feel responsible for all the fucked up shit in her life.  So you want to know if I think Angela is going to be okay?  No, she’s not going to be okay.  One day, I’m going to get a phone call on this phone here, notifying me of her death, and that is going to haunt me forever!” he yelled.

I didn’t make a sound on the remainder of the walk and neither did Alex.  He walked faster as I almost jogged to keep up with him.  I wanted to say something, to ask something, but when I opened my mouth to speak, I knew that whatever I said would upset him and he would yell again.  In reality, I felt sorry for Alex and the way he felt about what happened between him and Angela.

Once we arrived back to his house, Alex sat outside by the infinity pool, looking out into the ocean.  I knew he needed space and I was going to give him all the space he needed.  I decided not the say a word to him until he was ready to talk to me.  Silence is golden, I thought.  I had learned to remain quiet when he kicked in to crazy mode, and Alex was definitely in his crazy mode that day.  I guess a lot of sleep didn’t always work in his best interest.

Chapter 9

I occupied myself to pass the time by digging through his bathroom cabinet, looking for a facial mask I had once seen in there.  I found it and applied it to my face, allowing it to settle and harden.  I checked the time and it was time to wash off the mask.  I removed my sweatshirt and wiggled out of my yoga pants and headed into the shower.  I adjusted the water just right and scrubbed the hardened mask off my face and stood under the water for a few minutes.

A few seconds later, the shower door opened and there stood Alex.  “I was looking for you,” he said as he began removing his clothes to join me.  Oh no.  I didn’t want him in the shower with me.  Not after what happened in New York.

“I’m done, I’m getting out,” I lied.

“I don’t smell any shampoo or body wash.  How could you be done?” he asked.  My eyes shifted to the knobs for the hot and cold water and Alex realized I was afraid to take a shower with him.  “You adjust the water.  I won’t touch it, I promise,” he said.

I nodded, hesitantly.  He came closer and closer until there was no distance remaining between us.  He opened his arms and pulled me close against his chest.

   “I’m sorry.  I’m sorry for yelling at you.  I’m just a broken man beyond repair.  I don’t know what else to say,” he said genuinely, his eyes filled with tears.  “You deserve so much better.  So much better,” he repeated.

I put my index finger on his lips.  I didn’t want to talk at that moment.  I looked directly into his blue eyes and he knew exactly what I wanted to do.  His moist lips met mine as I began to kiss him softly, our lips parted, his tongue pushing against mine as we moaned quietly.  I could feel him growing hard against me as he pulled me closer to him, kissing me harder.  I wondered if he wanted me as much as I wanted him.

The next thing I knew, my back was against the hard tile wall, my legs wrapped around his hips as he entered me.  My back banged against the wet wall each time he thrust into me, but I didn’t care.  The pleasure was more than the pain as he moved deeper into me as I pushed against him in response to his thrusts.  We came together, my fingernails digging deep into his back as I moaned loudly as he spilled into me.

I sat on the vanity chair while Alex finished his shower.  I knew the water in there was scalding hot, since I was no longer in there.  The steam fogged up the entire bathroom, which was quite welcoming, since it was so dry outside.  He opened the shower door and stepped out, smiling at me as he wrapped the towel around his waist.

“Alex, I want to say something to you,” I began as he took a seat at the edge of the large bathtub. “I know you don’t like to talk about your past with Angela, so I will keep it short.  I think you were a great husband to her.  I think you would have made an amazing father, had the two of you had any children.  What she did to destroy her life was nothing but her own choice and her own decision - the drugs, the infidelity, the excessive cosmetic surgeries, and whatever else she did to herself and to you.  If she wasn’t happy with you, all she had to do was ask for a divorce, not have an affair behind your back.  She obviously didn’t rely on your salary, since she was a doctor making a good living.  If we were married and I wasn’t happy with you, I would tell you, Alex.  I would let you know that there is a problem and we need to fix it or solve it somehow.  So stop blaming yourself and stop taking that anger and frustration out on me because I’m afraid it’s going to destroy us.  I’m really sorry about what happened to you in the past, but you have to stop believing that you caused it somehow.  Let it go, Alex, and just try to help her get past the demons that are obviously destroying her.  Help her.  She’s been crying for help and all you have been doing is turning her away and blaming yourself for her actions in the past,” I said.

He let out a big sigh as he ran his fingers through his hair.  “I know, baby.  I absolutely agree with everything you just said, but sometimes I just can’t help thinking back and wondering if there were signs that I missed.  Maybe I was working too much and not giving her enough attention—”

“No, Alex, that’s not it.  Look at my parents; my dad works almost twenty-four hours a day, year-round.  They’ve been married for almost thirty years and look how happy they are.  My mom doesn’t run around with married men behind his back and vice versa,” I noted.

Alex stood up and walked over to where I was sitting.  He kneeled down, taking both of my hands into his as he looked into my eyes.  “I love you more than you could ever know.  I don’t know what I would do without you in my life,” he said, kissing my hands softly.  He stood up and pulled me off the vanity chair, “C’mon, baby,” he said as he smacked my bottom.  “We’re going out tonight,” he pressed his lips hard against mine.

“Where are we going?” I asked, curiously.

“Martina’s,” he smiled.

Martina’s was my favorite place in Malibu.  The food was delicious and they had a live band that played my favorite music.

“It’s going to be one hell of a night, Alex.  Maybe you will even get lucky when we come home,” I teased.

“There’s no maybe about it, baby.  I am getting lucky tonight,” he replied, so sure of himself.

“Now that’s the confident Alex I know and love,” I winked.

<><><>

I began digging through the clothes I had in Alex’s house and found the perfect copper cashmere sequin v-neck sweater and jeans.  It went together so well with the brown Chanel riding boots that Alex had purchased for me on our trip to Las Vegas.

Alex sported a dark pair of jeans with a black Armani sweater, matching belt, and black Gucci shoes.  He smelled of fresh lightly scented cologne and his dark hair was perfectly combed aside from a few strands that had fallen on top of his eyebrow.

“My, oh my, baby, do you look good tonight,” he said as his eyes examined me head to toe.

“Great minds think alike,” I replied, my hands pressed against his chest as I raised myself on my toes to kiss him.

We headed for the garage and Alex opened the door of his red Ferrari for me to get in.  I loved watching him drive that car as he took control, shifting gears quickly as he accelerated.

The hostess escorted us to the patio area of the restaurant, which was surrounded by heat lamps to keep the area warm and cozy.  The moon was full, which cast light on top of the glistening ocean.

Alex sat right next to me, holding my hand as we ordered from the menu.  I told Alex he could drink all he wanted because I had plenty the night before with Stefano and Mandy.

“Uh, do you know how to drive a stick?” he asked.

“A what?” I asked.

“My Ferrari is a stick shift car, or manual or whatever you want to call it,” he noted.

“Oh shit, never mind,” I giggled.  “I totally forgot about that.  Maybe I will do all the drinking tonight and you can carry me home and do dirty things to me,” I laughed.

Alex flagged down the waitress and ordered my first shot of tequila for the night. “Bring a shot of Don Julio nineteen forty-two, please,” he said.

The one shot of tequila turned into two, then three, and then eight.  The band began to play and I couldn’t stay seated any longer.  I was glad that I ate plenty of food, otherwise I would be asking for it.

I threw my arms around Alex’s neck, “Do you know how much I love you, Alex?” I slurred.

“Yes, baby, I do.  I love you too,” he replied.

“No, no, no.  Do you really, really, really know how much I love you?” I asked again.  Alex was laughing at me while I was inventing all kinds of crazy dance moves.  I felt that I had had enough to drink.

A few hours went by and I felt the alcohol slowly leaving my body.  On the drive home, I kept playing with Alex’s hair as he laughed.  He kindly removed my hand from his hair, probably a little annoyed by it.

When we got to his place, I had the urge to hang out on the roof and continue to enjoy the patio area he had up there and listen to the waves crashing against the shore.  Alex made some tea and brought it up there in the fancy elevator he had.

“You know, Alex,” I began, feeling myself slurring a bit. “You know you’re cool when you have an elevator in your house,” I said.  Alex laughed at my remark, shaking his head.

I sipped on the tea as we talked and talked for hours until I felt myself completely sobering up.  Alex became serious, “I’m going to take your advice,” he said.

“What advice?” I asked, unaware of what he was talking about.

“I’m going to help Angela.  I’m going to help her as much as I can and get her the help she needs.  I just hope she wants to get sober, Claire, because if she doesn’t want it desperately, it’s no use,” he said.

“You will be doing a good thing, Alex.  I’m so happy about your decision to help Angela.  I love you and will support you in any way you need, okay?” I said.  He nodded and pulled me closer to him as I put my head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat with one ear and the waves crashing against the shore with the other ear.  My eyelids felt heavier than they had ever felt as I succumbed to sleep.

I don’t know how long I had been asleep, but when Alex woke me up, it seemed like I had just fallen asleep.  He walked me to the elevator as we took it down to go to the bedroom.  I was so drowsy that I had a hard time walking all the way to the room.  I somehow got out of my clothes and threw myself in his bed, closing my eyes instantly.

Alex put his arm around me and buried his nose in my hair, “Goodnight, baby.  I love you,” was the last thing I could recall.

<><><>

I felt something between my thighs and it felt so good.  I thought I was dreaming, but it felt so real, as if it was really happening.  I tried to open my eyes, but had difficulty initially.  A few more tries and I opened my eyes to find Alex’s head down there, his tongue between my thighs.

“Mmm, what a way to wake up,” I said.  He continued for a few more minutes, adding his finger in and out.  He added another finger along with his tongue and I couldn’t keep still.

I spread my legs wider, as wide as they could go until I was in the splits position.  My heart began to race as I felt it building up in my abdomen.  In and out he went with his fingers as he moved his tongue in circles until I couldn’t take it any longer.  I came with a loud moan as he removed his finger and began kissing my abdomen and moving his way up to my breasts and stopping at my lips.  He kissed me passionately for a few minutes before he entered me, moving gently in and out of me.

He moved so slow, kissing me softly as he moved to the cape of my neck and my ear.  I could feel his warm breath in my ear, causing shivers up and down my spine.  I felt a tingling sensation in the pit of my abdomen as he moved in and out of me with ease, deeper each time.  He moved quicker and I pushed my hips toward him as he pushed himself deeper into me.  We came together, holding on to one another as if we would fall off a cliff if we didn’t hang on so tight.

“I love you,” he said, pulling me on top of him as I rested my head against his chest and closed my eyes.

“Me too,” I managed to say before falling into another deep state of sleep.

I woke up to the sound of my cell phone, “Hello,” I said, barely audible.

“Claire?” It was Katherine on the other end.

“Kathy, hi, what’s up?” I asked.

“Not much.  I just wanted to see if you were about to leave for our girly lunch today,” she said.  Oh no.  I had overslept and forgotten about my date with Katherine.  “Were you sleeping?  Do you know what time it is?” she asked.

“Uh, no I don’t.  What time is it?” I asked.

“It’s almost one o’clock,” she replied.  “It must have been some night,” she giggled.

“I’ll meet you in an hour anywhere you want me to,” I replied.

“Perfect.  Meet me at Dean’s Cuisine on Ventura Boulevard at two,” she said.  Alex was still half asleep, but trying to get himself up.

    “Alex, I had forgotten about my lunch with Kathy.  I have to meet her in an hour,” I said.

“Take the Porsche, baby,” he said.

“You want me to take your car or should we just head to my place and I will go from there?” I asked.

“No, just take the Porsche, baby.  Come back here after your day with Kathy and we’ll head to your place together,” he said, kissing me before I got up to get ready.  “I miss you already,” he said before I headed for the shower.

<><><>

Katherine was already at the restaurant when I arrived.  I was ten minutes late, which wasn’t so bad, I thought, considering how quickly I had to get ready and take off from Alex’s house.

“Hey, girl!” she said, approaching me and hugging me tightly.

“Whoa, Kathy, one day that ring of yours is going to blind me,” I said, holding my hands in front of my eyes.

She looked at her hand, admiring her beautiful engagement ring, “I know, right?  I’m surprised I’m not blinded by it already,” we both laughed.

“I’m so glad I got to see you guys in New York.  And to witness that beautiful proposal made my heart melt.  I’m so happy for you and John,” I said.

“Thank you,” she smiled.  We ordered light salads and a few appetizers as Kathy talked about her wedding plans.  I was so thirsty from all the alcohol the night before that I couldn’t stop drinking water.  “So, speaking of weddings and planning.  The reason why I wanted to have this lunch with you today is because I want you to be my maid of honor,” she smiled through her beautiful, white teeth.

I almost dropped my fork, “Are you serious? Me?” I asked.

“Well who else, Claire?  There isn’t anyone else sitting around here, is there?” she joked.

I didn’t even need to think about it. “Of course!  I feel so special, Kathy,” I replied, my eyes tearing.

“Seriously, Claire, who else is like a sister to me besides you?” she asked.

“I will accept the offer without even thinking twice about it, although, only on one condition.  If I ever get married on this planet, you have to promise to be my maid of honor in return,” I negotiated.

“Without a doubt,” she said as we hugged and continued the remainder of the lunch discussing her wedding plans for the fall.

<><><>

When I returned, Alex was on the phone with his mother, filling her in on the details about Angela, “Yeah, whatever you do, don’t send her any money, okay mom?  I’m going to help her back into rehab.  Yeah, I know,” he said.  I left him alone to talk to his mother comfortably on the phone.  I went outside and sat on the swing on the patio, taking in the beauty of the ocean on a warm January day in California.

Alex joined me after he finished his conversation with his mother.  “How was lunch, baby?” he asked.

“Kathy asked me to be her maid of honor,” I smiled.

“That’s great,” he replied, smiling big, obviously excited for me.  “I know she would ask you to be her maid of honor.  After all, you two are inseparable and just like sisters,” he added.  “Hey, are you up to meeting Melissa and Paul for dinner later on?  She called and asked earlier, but I didn’t make any promises.  I wanted to ask you first,” he said.

“Sure, I’d love to see them again,” I replied.  I really liked Alex’s sister Melissa and her boyfriend Paul and wouldn’t pass up a dinner with them unless I wasn’t feeling well.

“Sounds good.  I’ll text her and let her know,” he said, picking up his cell phone. 

“Just let me know what time I should be ready by and I’ll dig for something to wear,” I replied.

“This is perfect,” he said, reading the text from Melissa, “They’re going to be in Encino, so we will be close to your place.  Let’s pack up and head that way and we can go from there,” he said.

“Even better,” I smiled, heading to the bedroom to gather my things while Alex locked up the rest of the house.

I was very quiet on the drive to my place, not because I didn’t want to converse with Alex, but because I wasn’t feeling so well.  A sudden feeling of anxiety took over me.  My breathing became short as if the air flowing into my lungs wasn’t enough.

Alex noticed something was wrong with me and rolled down the windows in the car.  “What’s wrong, baby?  Another attack?” he asked.

“Yeah,” I replied, short of breath.  “I knew I was going to have one sooner or later.  It’s been some time since the last one.  I guess I was overdue.”

He took my hand and squeezed it, “You’re going to be fine, okay?  Just breathe through it.”

I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths, waiting for my heart rate to slow down and the tingling in my arms and legs to go away.  I slowly began to feel normal again and was very grateful for that.

“Let’s skip out on the alcohol today,” Alex suggested.

“Doctor’s orders?” I asked, tilting my head.

“Yes.  That’s an order,” he replied, grinning.

Once we reached my place, I felt just as I had before the attack – great.  I headed inside with my duffle bag and unpacked my things.  I changed into a pair of dark blue jeans and a black and gold Dolce and Gabbana sweater.  I pulled on my black knee-high boots and glossed my lips.  I was ready for a nice dinner with the people I enjoyed the company of.

I headed downstairs after taking one last look in the mirror.  Alex was flipping through the different channels on TV, but didn’t seem to have found anything of interest to him.  He turned it off once he saw me and stood up from the sofa.

“You look really nice, baby,” he said, observing me from head to toe.

“Thank you.  As do you, Dr. Blake,” I replied, my eyes sarcastically observing him from head to toe as he had done to me.

He grabbed my bottom with both hands, pulling me close to him, “We better get going before I tear off your clothes and we never make it to dinner,” he whispered into my ear.  “I want a rain check.”

“Of course.  You can cash it in when we come back home,” I whispered back.

<><><>

We met Melissa and Paul at one of my favorite restaurant’s called Tabletop in Encino.  They had already gotten comfortable at a table and had ordered their first drink.  Melissa stood up to hug me, since we hadn’t seen each other for a few weeks.

“You look great, Claire,” she complimented.

“Thanks, Melissa.  So do you, as always.  We missed you in New York.  I wish you two could have made it,” I said, giving Paul a hug as well.

“We wanted to, but things got pretty busy for both Paul and I workwise.  Maybe next time,” she replied, with a big, pretty smile.  We all took a seat and caught up on the past two weeks we hadn’t been in touch.  “So, how did you like New York?” Melissa asked me.

“I absolutely loved it.  I had a great time and would love to go back when it’s warmer,” I replied.

“I totally agree.  The extreme cold is such a turn off for me,” she said.

“Mom was acting a bit strange,” Alex said.

“You mean she was her usual self,” replied Melissa.

“She was very sweet and hospitable,” I pitched in.

“Yeah,” Alex raised his eyebrow.  “Just ask dad,” he said to Melissa.

They both laughed at his comment, obviously very accustomed to Isabelle’s behavior.

I ordered a chicken dish and an iced tea.  I had made up my mind about not drinking, since I had plenty to last me from the night before.  It took a while for the food to arrive, so I was filling up on iced tea while we waited.

“I need to use the restroom,” I whispered to Alex.  “I’ll be right back.”

I got up and headed to the restroom, which wasn’t too far from out table.  I did my business and freshened up my makeup before leaving the restroom.  As I was walking along the bar area, toward our table, a tall young man who wasn’t paying attention, quickly turned around with a drink in his hand, spilling it all over me.  He turned around and bumped into me so hard, that the entire glass of what smelled like a Long Island iced tea was on my top.  I looked down at my clothes and realized how soaked I was in alcohol and sugar.

“Oh shit! I’m so, so sorry!” He said as I looked up to tell him it was okay and it was only an accident.  His eyes focused on me as I focused on his face.  “Claire?” he said.  It was James.  The James I had dated before Alex.  The James who wanted more than what I could offer him.  The James who told me I was a liar.  The James who refused to believe I was raped.

“James?” I was shocked as well.

“Is everything all right here,” Alex appeared.

“Yeah, I, uh, I accidentally – ” James began.

“Alex, this is James, an old friend of mine who I just ran into – literally.  James, this is my boyfriend, Alex,” I introduced, taking a napkin from the bar and drying off the wet drink.  The look on Alex’s face confirmed he knew the old friend was my ex boyfriend.

“Good to meet you, James.  You know, I had gotten that top for Claire.  It was very, very expensive.  Now it looks really fucked up.  It’s never going to be the same,” he said, his eyes piercing into James’.

“Alex,” I took a hold of his arm, silently telling him I could handle this.

“I’m only messing with you.  Nice to meet you, James,” he said, holding out his hand.  “You really ought to be more careful next time around beautiful women.  Hold on tighter to your drink, man,” he added.

“I will.  Sorry about that.  It was good to see you again, Claire,” he replied.

“Yeah, take care, James,” I said as I walked back to our table with Alex.

“Looks like you may need a chaperone to the restroom next time,” Alex said.

“You don’t trust me going to the potty by myself?” I teased.

“I trust you.  I just don’t trust interesting characters like the James I just met,” he replied.

We joined Melissa and Paul back at the table.  I couldn’t help but constantly think about what had just happened.  I knew I was bound to run into James soon enough.  I just didn’t know when it was going to happen.  A blond woman joined James at the bar a few minutes after we were back at our table.  She gave him a hug and a kiss.  I assumed she was his girlfriend or his date for the evening.  She was very young, pretty, and sexy.  I needed to get my mind off him and the blond.

“How is the fashion world,” I asked Melissa.

“My designs are doing well.  I may have a few contracts with boutiques soon.  If I’m lucky, one day my designs will be sold at famous department stores.  A girl can dream right?” she asked as she took a sip of her cocktail.

“You’re going to be the next Vera Wang, I just know it,” I winked.

“From your mouth to God’s ears, Claire.  I will drink to that,” she said as she raised her glass and finished the rest of the drink.  Melissa was getting very tipsy.  I was glad Paul wasn’t drinking because she really required a designated driver.  I liked it when Melissa drank.  She made all of us laugh hysterically.  She wouldn’t stop telling stories about Isabelle and how she always knew how to drive Richard crazy.

“No wonder my dad worked extra long hours,” she laughed.  “I love you, baby,” she turned to Paul and put her hand on his shaved head, rubbing it.  “You’re my Buddha.  You don’t have a belly to rub.  Hey, your head is like a belly – a bald belly,” she continued to laugh hysterically.

We decided to call it a night an hour later.  The drive home was rather quiet, either one of us discussing the run in with James.  Alex broke the silence once we were inside my condo.

“I didn’t like James very much,” he confessed.

“What was it about him that you didn’t like?” I asked.

“I didn’t like the way he looked at you,” he replied.

“How was he looking at me?” I asked.

“Like he wanted you,” he said.  “Like he wanted to do things to you that I’m lucky enough to do tonight,” he added.

“Alex Blake, are you feeling a little jealous?” I grinned.

“Naw, not jealous.  Just honest.  He’s kicking himself for letting you go.  He was hopeful and happy until I showed up,” he noted.

“I wasn’t paying much attention to anything, but how wet and uncomfortable I felt wearing his drink on my top.  Speaking of that, I’m going to shower and get this sticky sugar off of my boobs,” I said.

“I will be glad to help you, baby,” he replied, following me up the stairs.

<><><>

I lay in bed that night, my eyes open, unable to succumb to sleep.  I was thinking about the week ahead and the new position at work.  As much as I wanted the promotion badly, I was a little anxious about the big change.  Alex must have noticed my insomniac state.

“What’s wrong, baby?” he asked.

“Nothing, just can’t fall asleep,” I replied.

“What’s on your mind?” he asked.

I told Alex how I felt about the change ahead and he comforted me by telling me how smart he thought I was and how good I was going to be at the new position.

“Thanks, Alex.  I guess I feel a little less anxious,” I said.

“If the pep talk didn’t help, there’s always other ways I can help you fall asleep,” he said, gently tracing his index finger in circles around my nipple.

“Be my guest,” I replied as my lips met his moist, hot lips, his tongue pushing against mine.  He pulled my body closer to his and I could feel his hardness against me.  He was on top of me, his lips not leaving mine.  I moaned into his mouth as he entered me, slowly moving in and out.  His lips moved to my neck and my ear lobes.  I could feel his warm breath against my skin, sending shivers up and down my spine.  It began to feel very warm in the room all of a sudden.  Our breathing became heavy as we perspired with passion.

I responded to his thrusts, pushing toward him as he pushed himself into me until I gave in and came, moaning loudly.  Alex came into me, his mouth still against mine as he groaned and collapsed against my breasts.

He held me close, my head against his chest.  I could hear his heart beating loudly and fast.  He ran his fingers through my hair as I became very drowsy and surrendered to sleep.

It wasn’t long after I had fallen asleep before I woke up screaming.  Alex put his arms around me and consoled me.  It was the nightmare again, the white van, the trees, the dirty pair of hands trying to grab me.  I was so angry to have awakened from this horrible dream again.  I just wanted a good night’s rest before the hectic week ahead, but I guess it was too much to ask for.  Somehow I managed to fall asleep again, although I tossed and turned plenty.  Someday, just someday, I knew these nightmares had to come to an end.

Chapter 10

I accidentally slept in the following morning.  Alex left before five o’clock in the morning and I was supposed to get up at six, but ended up waking up at seven.  The day was not starting off as planned.  I took a very quick shower and threw my clothes on as fast as I could.  Breakfast or coffee was out of the question.  I would just grab something at work.

Laura was beginning her new position in the Finance department, so I didn’t see her when I got into work.  The other ladies in the office were to cover for me while I headed to the Admitting department to begin my training with Anabelle as soon as possible.  Anabelle was moving out of California and would only be at work for two weeks before she headed to the Midwest.

I grabbed a notepad and a pen before I headed to the Admitting department to Anabelle’s office.  “Good morning.  So sorry I’m late,” I apologized.

“Hey you,” Anabelle smiled, “Better late than never.  I’m so glad you will take over my position.  I can leave California knowing my job is in good hands,” she said.

Anabelle’s office was located on the first floor of the hospital near the Emergency Department.  It was a decent sized office, not too big and not too small.  I have to admit I was excited about having my own office.

We took a walk to meet the department administrators who I would be working closely with.  Jason Hartley was one who stood out among the others.  He was very pleasant and had the complete California surfer appearance with his sandy blond beach hair, pretty blue eyes, and the perfect golden tan.  Anabelle told me he was a very close friend of hers.

“I’m sure he’s very sad that you’re moving,” I said.

“He was until he found out you will be the one replacing me,” she chuckled.  I giggled and continued to take notes.

The training was going very well and time was flying by.  There was a knock on the door in the afternoon.  Jason peeked his head in the office, “Claire, your boyfriend is looking for you,” he grinned, opening the door all the way so Alex could come in.  Jason greeted Alex, “Good afternoon, Dr. Blake.  The new admitting manager, Claire Morgan can be found in this lovely office,” he said.

“Hi, sorry to bother you all.  Claire, can I talk to you for a second?” he asked.

“Yeah, sure,” I replied, excusing myself from Anabelle’s office and into the hallway.  “What’s wrong, Alex?” I asked.

“Angela is here.  She approached me outside the hospital while I was on my way to the clinic.  She wants to get sober.  She said she would do anything and join any rehab as long as she can get clean.  I got someone to cover the clinic for me this afternoon so I can take her and have her admitted somewhere.  I have my cell phone if you need to get a hold of me, okay?” he said.

“I’m glad you’re helping her.  Call me later, okay?” I said.

“I knew you’d understand.  I love you,” he said, giving me a quick kiss on the lips.  “I miss you already,” he said before he left.

It was the kind of day, which required a quick grab of a sandwich from the cafeteria.  I headed back to Administration with the sandwich in my hand.  I decided to eat at my desk and check up on how things were going in the department.

“Hi Walter,” I said, peeking my head in his office.

“Hi there,” he said, looking up from his computer.  “How did it go down there?”

“It went great so far.  I just grabbed something to eat here at my desk before I go back for the rest of the day.  How is everything here?” I asked.

“It’s obviously not the same with you and Laura out.  I will be interviewing candidates for your position this week.  Hopefully we can find someone quickly,” he said.

“You will.  There are a lot of bright young people out there who would do anything for a job like this,” I replied.

I was halfway done with my sandwich when Laura walked in.  She looked like she had a busy morning as well.

“I’m starving, Claire,” she said.

“Here, have the other half of my sandwich.  I’m stuffed,” I offered.

“Oh no, I can’t take your food,” she replied.

“I insist, Laura.  I’m really full and would be forcing myself to eat the rest.  Please take it,” I said, putting it on her desk.

“Thanks, babe.  What would I do without you?” she said, biting into the sandwich.  “How’s the training going?” she asked.

“I like it a lot.  It’s something different and a lot more responsibility, but I think I will be okay.  What about you?  Tell me how your morning went,” I said.

“Same as yours, I guess.  I’m really excited to see where it leads.  I love it so far,” she said.  “Hey, once we are both settled in our new positions, we have to figure out how to meet for lunch from time to time.  I’m suffering from separation anxiety from my lunch buddy,” she laughed.

<><><>

The remainder of my first day resulted in a notepad full of information.  I called Alex on my drive home, but he didn’t answer.  I wasn’t sure what time he was going to come home.  I called my mother and asked her what she was serving for dinner.  “Lasagna, your favorite, sweetheart,” she said.  I drove straight to my parents’ house, my mouth watering at the thought of my mother’s homemade lasagna.

“Hi honey,” my father greeted me, “Where’s Alex?” he asked.

“He’s really busy working,” I replied.  I didn’t feel they needed to know about the whole Angela incident.  “He will probably be home much later, so I thought I would stop by and have dinner with you and mom before I head home.”

“Good choice.  We’ve missed you,” he replied.

I helped my mother finish setting the dinner table.  During dinner, we caught up on the latest in our lives.  There weren’t too many changes in their lives.  I told them about my recent job promotion and they were both very happy for me.

“That’s great news, Claire.  I knew you’d climb that ladder soon enough,” my mother said.

“Good job, honey.  You have your mother’s looks and your father’s brain,” he laughed.

“Oh really?  I thought I had your good looks and mom’s brain,” we laughed.

“She takes after you with her stubbornness, Henry,” my mother pitched in.

“Who? Me?  I’m stubborn?” asked my father.  He was probably one of the most stubborn people to live on planet Earth.  When he said no to something, there was no changing his mind.  And I had his stubborn personality.  There was no doubt about it.  I don’t know if I could consider it a good thing or a curse.  My father said it was one of my most wonderful traits, but my mother disagreed completely.

“No, dad.  You’re not stubborn.  You’re perfect,” I smiled as I caught a glimpse of my mother rolling her eyes, mumbling under her nose.

After dinner, my mother showed me the latest outfits and shoes she had purchased.  “You can borrow these anytime you’d like,” she said.  I could easily shop from my mother’s closet.  We wore almost the same size clothing and had the exact same shoe size.  I really didn’t need to buy myself anything too expensive or fancy, since she had it all in her gigantic, bedroom sized closet.

We headed downstairs and sipped on hot tea next to the fireplace, my father on his laptop working as usual.  The television was airing an interesting movie and I couldn’t peel my eyes off the screen.  As interesting as it may have been, I still managed to doze off.  When I awakened, it was almost ten o’clock.  I jumped up.

“Mom, why didn’t you wake me up?” I asked, upset at how long I had slept.

“I didn’t want to bother you.  You looked like you needed the rest,” she replied.

“I have to head home,” I said as I gathered my things and kissed them goodbye.  “We have to do this again sometime soon.  Thanks for dinner.  Love you guys,” I said as I headed out the door and into my car.  I checked my phone to see if I had any missed calls or text messages from Alex, but there were none.  I called him and was directed straight to his voicemail.  Once I got to my condo, I sent him a text message.

Hey.  I got worried about you.  Is everything ok?

I kicked off my heels and changed out of my work clothes.  I took a quick shower and checked my phone again, but still no response from Alex.  I hoped everything was all right.  I knew he had to wake up very early the following morning and needed his sleep. 

I planted myself on the sofa with a book in my hand to pass the time.  My eyelids began to feel extremely heavy.  I gave it my all not to fall asleep, but lost the battle.

<><><>

I was awakened by the sound of the front door.  I sat up to find Alex walking inside as quietly as he could.  He looked like he had gotten run over by a bus.  His shirt was torn and as I looked closely, I noticed scratches on his face.  I got up and increased the lighting and took a better look at him.  He had dark circles under his eyes as if he hadn’t slept in days.  I looked at the time.  It was one o’clock in the morning.

“What happened to you?” I asked, touching his face and examining the tears on his shirt.  “I called you and texted you several times,” I said.

“I’m sorry,” he said as he looked at all the missed calls and messages.  “Things got a little out of control.  She had to be restrained.  It’s just one day at a time for her now,” he said.

“You look like you were attacked by a pissed off cat,” I said.

Alex chuckled, “I needed a little laugh.  Thanks, baby,” he said.

“You should probably get cleaned up,” I noted.

“I’m going to wash up and get some sleep.  I have to get up in a few hours,” he said as he kissed my lips and headed up the stairs.

I knew I wasn’t going to be able to fall asleep right away, so I prepared my clothes for the morning while I waited for Alex to finish his shower.  “How was your day in training for the new position?” he asked.

“It was great.  It was a lot of information for one day, but I think I took enough notes.  I will formally meet my new boss tomorrow, since he was off today.  I’m going to miss working for Walter,” I expressed.

“Jack is a good guy, there’s no doubt you will like working for him.  He has the same leadership style as Walter,” he said, referring to my new boss, Jack Spencer, the chief financial officer of the hospital.

“I will take your word for it,” I said, snuggling close to his very warm body.

“How do you like Jason?” he asked.  “I hear he’s very popular with the ladies down there.  His boss is a real bitch on wheels, though.”

“Really? He reports to Bertha Johnson, the chief nurse executive, doesn’t he?” I asked.

“Yeah.  Poor guy.  If you haven’t heard about her yet, you will. Anyone that can work for that psycho bitch is a saint,” he said.  I had never heard Alex talk negatively about anyone aside from Mark Kohler.  I was anxious to find out more about Bertha.  I was glad she wasn’t my new boss after what Alex said about her.

I realized Alex was sound asleep when I did all the talking and he began to snore.  I knew he was exhausted because he hardly ever snored.  I tossed and turned for the longest time before I dozed off not too long before Alex’s alarm clock.  He had a difficult time getting out of bed and I worried about him in the operating room with so little sleep.

<><><>

The next few days were extremely busy.  The hours passed by like minutes.  Walter included me in the interview process in finding a replacement for my position.  We narrowed it down to a few great candidates who we both agreed were perfect for the job.

Jack Spencer was a great boss very easy going, just like Walter.  Laura was happy with him as well.  Anabelle did a great job training me and showing me all the shortcuts she had come up with to make life easier.  Jason peeked his head in and out of the office from time to time.

“Boss lady is coming,” he’d whisper when he heard Bertha in the area.

“You better run and hide,” Anabelle replied.

“Why would he run and hide?” I asked, fishing for information.

“Oh, she doesn’t know about Bertha yet, does she?” asked Anabelle.

“I’ll fill you in on it later,” Jason whispered before he disappeared.

Moments later, a woman stopped by in Anabelle’s office.  She had horrible skin with quite a bit of acne scars.  She was very thin with frizzy black hair, which looked like it hadn’t seen a comb in a long time.  Her teeth were crooked and her skin oily.

“Has anyone seen Jason,” she asked.

“Good morning, Bertha.  No, we haven’t seen Jason, have we, Claire?” she turned to me.

I shrugged and shook my head, “No, I don’t know where he is,” I said.

She didn’t even thank us.  She just frowned and went on to the next office looking for poor Jason. 

“She’s not very well liked around here, is she?” I asked.

“Nobody likes her.  She’s got an awful personality and she screams at her staff,” she said.

“Good to know.  I will stay as far away from her as I possibly can,” I noted.

In the afternoon, I headed to my desk upstairs to work on the emails that were piling up.  I sorted through the important ones first and found one from Mark Kohler.  It had been a while since I had received an email from Mark.

Hi Claire,

Glad to see you back at work.  I hope all is well with you.  Congratulations on the new position.  Maybe we can get together for coffee or lunch sometime this week.  You know where to find me.

Mark Kohler, MD

Orthopedic Surgery

Downtown Memorial Hospital

Ugh! Really? Mark Kohler was like a shoe that never wore out so you could throw it away.  He thought he was God’s gift to women.  I chose to respond.

Dr. Kohler,

Thank you for the kind words.  I’m extremely busy these days.  Maybe you should ask Alex to join you for coffee or lunch.  Or Taryn.  I’m sure Taryn would enjoy it more than I would.

Claire Morgan, MHA

Administrative Assistant to

Walter Wells, CEO

Downtown Memorial Hospital

Alex was right about Mark.  He thought he could have any woman he wanted and he didn’t stop.  I would keep this email to myself.  Alex had enough going on with Angela and work.  This wasn’t something I could handle myself.

Laura and I were able to go to lunch together that afternoon.  Anabelle and Jason joined us as well.  I received a text message from Alex just a few minutes after we sat down to eat.

Hey, baby.  Can you meet me for lunch?

Why don’t you come have lunch with Anabelle, Jason, Laura and I.  We are across the street.

Ok. I’m coming.

Alex showed up just a few moments later and joined us for lunch.  He looked more tired than I had ever seen him.  He gave me kiss on the cheek as he sat next to me.

“You guys are so cute together,” sighed Anabelle.

“They are, aren’t they,” said Laura.

“Dr. Blake is a lucky man,” Jason pitched in.

“I could never disagree with you on that one, Jason.  I’m a lucky guy, that’s for sure,” he said.

Jason’s cell phone rang halfway into lunch.  “Oh man, it’s Bertha,” he said as he answered.  “Hi boss.  Sure, I’m just having lunch.  I should be done soon.  Yeah.  Oh, ok, I will be there in five,” he got up to leave.  “I’m sorry, but I have to run.  Bertha’s in a bind and she needs me to handle something,” he said and almost ran out of the restaurant.

“My goodness, he hardly ate anything,” I said, biting into my sandwich.

Jason’s seat wasn’t free for too long before Taryn showed up and occupied it.  “Hi everyone,” she beamed, smiling only at Alex.  “Do you mind if I sit with you all?” she asked, sitting before anyone could even answer her question.

“How are you, Taryn?” asked Alex, the courteous person that he was.

“I’ve been so busy, I don’t know whether I’m coming or going.  You look tired, Alex.  Is everything all right?” she batted her eyelashes like a schoolgirl in love with a football player.

“You know what I need?” Alex asked.  “I need to have a party,” his eyes lit up.  “This Saturday, my house.  You are all invited.  Claire, let Jason know too, when you see him.  Taryn, bring Mark,” he commanded.  “I haven’t had a party at my house in a long time.  After all, we still have to celebrate Claire and Laura’s promotions.  Saturday night.  My house,” he had made up his mind.

I was hoping he hadn’t spontaneously planned a party in front of Taryn and invited her and Mark, but it was too late.  Taryn was beaming with excitement and accepted the invitation right away.  “Oh I’d love to come to your party.  I will let Mark know as soon as I talk to him,” she said, not taking her eyes off of Alex.  Laura took one look at me and knew I wasn’t too happy about a spontaneous party with Taryn and Mark.

Alex turned to me, “Make a list of all the people you want to invite and invite them baby.  We are going to have so much fun.  That roof is going to be used this weekend,” he smiled.

We finished eating and started to walk back to the hospital.  Alex headed toward the clinic to see his afternoon patients.  I told Laura about the email I had received from Mark.

“Another one?” she asked.  “He’s probably coming to the party with the too blond, too orange, and too blue lady, as Alex likes to refer to her,” she chuckled.

“I’m sure they wouldn’t miss it for the world,” I replied before we headed in separate directions to our new departments.

<><><>

Alex called while I was driving home to let me know he would be home late.  He was going to stop by at the rehab facility to visit Angela.  I decided to do yoga as soon as I got home and soaked in a warm bubble bath.  I made an invite list for Saturday night’s party and began sending text messages.

It was late notice, so my brothers already had plans.  Katherine and John hadn’t made any plans for that evening, so they would be coming.  Laura was going to confirm with her fiancé before giving me a final answer, but most likely they would be coming as well.

It was almost nine o’clock when Alex finally strolled in.  He had been visiting Angela at rehab every day since she had been admitted.  I understood it was in the initial stages and his presence was required more now than would be later on, but it was beginning to bother me.  I wasn’t jealous of Alex helping Angela.  After all, it was my idea that he does everything he can to see that she receives the help she needs.

“Hey,” he said, walking over to the sofa and giving me a kiss on the lips.

“Hey yourself,” I replied, in a cold tone.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, the dark circles under his eyes more visible by the day from lack of sleep.

“Nothing is wrong.  I was just hoping you’d be home earlier, that’s all,” I replied.

“I’m sorry, baby.  I just want to make sure everything goes well and she makes progress,” he said.

“I know, but maybe you should step back a little and let the rehab facility professionals do their job.  She’s going to think there’s still a chance to rekindle your marriage if you keep spending all your evenings there, Alex,” there, I said it.  I said what I had wanted to say all week, but couldn’t get the words out of my mouth.

“You think I still want to rekindle things with Angela?” he asked.

“No, Alex, I said Angela is going to think that way if you’re constantly spending time with her at the rehab center.  She’s weak right now and her boyfriend went back to his wife and kids.  You need to take a few steps back if you don’t want to send the wrong message to her,” I noted.

“But you wanted me to help her.  This was your idea, Claire.  You’re confusing me,” he sounded very frustrated.

“Of course I want you to help her.  It’s just that – ” I realized this conversation wasn’t going to go anywhere good if it continued.  “Why don’t you go upstairs and wash up and we’ll talk about this later,” I offered.

“No.  I want to talk about it now,” he demanded.

“You’re very tired right now, Alex.  Just go upstairs and take a shower and I’ll make something for you to eat.  I’m sure you’re hungry.  When did you last eat something?” I asked.

“It doesn’t matter what I ate or when I ate.  Stop changing the subject, Claire.  What is the real reason for your sudden jealousy?” he asked.

“I’m not jealous, Alex.  I just miss you and I think Angela – ” he ignored me and headed upstairs to take a shower.

I made a sandwich for him and some tea for myself and went out on the verandah and sipped away.  It was a cold and windy night with only the tea to keep me warm.  I had a book in my hand and music filling my ears through my earphones.  I had gotten lost in a book about a beautiful young, poor girl who had become a victim of human trafficking in the Middle East.

“You’ll catch your death out here,” it was Alex pulling one of the earphones out of my ear and wrapping a blanket around me to warm me up.

“Thanks,” I replied without looking at him.

“The sandwich was delicious.  Thank you,” he tried to make conversation, but I remained cold.

“Welcome,” I said, shortly.

“I was thinking about what you said earlier.  You’re right,” he said.

I turned to face him.  Did he just agree with me regarding Angela?  He pulled me close to him as he kissed my forehead.  I could feel the stubble on his face, as he hadn’t shaved in a few days.  “I need to stop visiting Angela,” he said.

“What?  No.  You can’t stop visiting her.  Just cut down on the time and number of days a week you are there.  She needs to know you support her, Alex,” I replied.

He nodded, his eyes sunken in from lack of sleep and little food.  “You need sleep, Alex.  I’ve never seen you so tired,” I said.

“We have a party to plan,” he smiled.

“Oh yeah, what was that all about today?  Do you realize you invited Taryn and Mark?” I asked.

“I was so tired, I didn’t realize anything aside from the desire to throw a party.  It’s for you, baby.  We are going to celebrate your promotion, and Laura’s too.  She’s coming, right?” he asked.  I filled him in on the latest on who would be coming and who wouldn’t be able to make it.  “I’m tired of talking,” he said as he pressed his lips against mine, pushing his tongue into my mouth.

He pulled me off the loveseat and continued to kiss me until we found ourselves inside, where it was warm and cozy.  He removed the blanket he had wrapped around me while I was outside.  He removed my camisole, exposing my bare breasts, cupping them with his warm hands.  His eyes were a darker shade of blue in the dim living room.  His lips left mine only to move to my neck, down to my collarbone, and down to my breasts.  His tongue moved in circles around my nipple as he sucked on my breasts.  With one hand on the small of my back, he pulled me tightly against him, his erection hard against my body.

With my finger, I traced his perfectly shaped muscles beginning from his chest, down to his abdomen, and finally down to his hardness.  I pulled his down his sweatpants, revealing his erection.  I held it with a firm grip as I moved my hand up and down, kissing him on the warm lips at the same time as he moaned into my mouth.  I got down on my knees, his hardness right in front of my face as I opened my mouth, taking it in as far is it could go.  He pushed himself deeper into my mouth, one hand on the back of my head, pulling my mouth closer and deeper.

I stood up and began kissing him again, this time harder with my tongue pushing hard against his.  He lifted me up, wrapped my legs around his body and entered me like a wild animal in heat.  I felt my back against the sofa, his body on top of mine with his chest pressed firmly against my breasts as he penetrated deeper inside of me.  I responded to his movement, pushing my pelvis up towards his as he pushed himself inside of me with gentle thrusts.  I tightened myself, feeling every single move he made into me.  I could feel it building up inside of me, waiting to erupt.  I gave in and came as Alex followed, spilling himself inside of me before he collapsed on top of me, both of us out of breath.

We headed upstairs and crawled into bed, Alex holding me closely to him, “I’m sorry about earlier, baby.  I was tired and hungry and I snapped at you,” he said, kissing me on the forehead, moving my hair from my face.  “I love you,” he said before drifting off into a deep state of sleep and I followed.

Chapter 11

The weather was perfect on Saturday for our outdoor party on Alex’s roof.  Although it was January, it was over eighty degrees during the day in California, not leaving much room for a cold night.

Alex hired a catering company to set up, serve finger foods during the party, and clean up so we didn’t have to do anything.  We just lounged all day and took a nap so we could stay up late.

I decided to wear a deep purple short romper with a gold rope necklace, matching bracelet, belt, and nude Yves Saint Laurent platform pumps.  Alex looked very comfortable in his own home sporting dark blue jeans, a white tight fitting button up shirt, which revealed every particle of muscle on his upper body, and flip flops.  He belonged in Malibu, as my mother had referred to him as “Malibu Ken.”

A few loose curls in my hair and some makeup did the job.  I finished it off with some lip gloss and was ready to greet our guests.

Taryn and Mark were the first to arrive.  Taryn was dressed in a very short, tight black dress with a lace trim.  The plunge in the front was so low, leaving nothing to the imagination.  Her tan was as orange as ever and her hair the lightest shade of platinum blonde possible to achieve without going white.  Her lips and nails were a deep red color and all I could imagine when I looked at her was Cruella DeVille and her Dalmatians.

“What a beautiful home you have, Alex,” she said as he spun around, looking at the unique interior design of his home.  “It suits you,” she said, smiling at him as she batted her eyelashes.  I suddenly felt nauseous from her presence alone.

I pretended to be busy in the kitchen as Alex escorted them to the roof where the party was to take place.  Jason arrived next, followed by Stefano and Mandy.  Katherine and John arrived at the same time as Laura and Robert.  Anabelle arrived with her husband, Bart.  Melissa and Paul arrived just after a few surgeons Alex had invited from the hospital.

“Oh no, I’m designated driver,” I heard Taryn say when offered a drink.  “Mark can drink all he wants, though,” she said.  That didn’t last too long, since I noticed Taryn with a cocktail in her hand moments later.  The cocktail was followed by another one not too much later.  I was keeping a close eye at all the guests who claimed to be the designated driver for the night.  It was my mission not to allow anyone to get behind the wheel intoxicated.  In my observation, both Taryn and Mark were not fit to be behind the wheel.

“Those two can’t drive, Alex,” I whispered in his ear, my eyes in the direction of Taryn and Mark.

“Okay.  We won’t let them drive.  Worst case scenario – they can sleep over in the guest room and leave in the morning,” he replied.  As much as I hated the idea of sleeping under the same roof as those two, I agreed with Alex.

“She scares me,” Jason said in my ear while he observed Taryn in her partially intoxicated state, all over Mark who was far from sober.

“You mean she’s not your type?  You don’t find her desirable?” I asked, grinning.

“Like I said, she scares me,” he laughed.

The party was going very well.  I noticed Stefano say something into Alex’s ear and Alex smiled and nodded.  The next thing I knew, a familiar song played from the speakers and Stefano walked over to me and asked me to dance.  It was one of the hip hop numbers he had taught me.  “I asked Alex for permission to dance with you and he said it’s okay,” Stefano pulled me to dance with him. I was having so much fun.  It had been a few months since I had danced like that.  A part of me missed the dance studio, but I knew I had to focus on my career for the time being.

Once the song was over, everyone cheered and clapped.  Stefano gave me a hug and headed back to Mandy.  Alex walked over to me with a drink in his hand and kissed me on the lips, “That was really good, baby,” he said, handing me the cocktail.  I was having a great time and didn’t feel the need to drink.  I took a few sips and set it down on the table and continued to mingle.

It was getting late and the party began to wind down.  Mark had way too much to drink and was slurring while he spoke.  Taryn wasn’t as bad, but it looked like another drink or two would push her into the same category as Mark.

Laura approached me before she left, “It’s funny how Taryn kept claiming she’s the designated driver, yet had plenty of alcohol.  It seems she may have planned the overnight stay before she even got here.  Lock your bedroom door,” she said, her eyes wide as we both laughed out loud.

“I will.  Or else I will wake up to her asleep next to Alex and I’ll be on the floor,” I replied.

Alex showed Mark and Taryn to the guest bedroom.  Mark immediately passed out the moment he was on the bed.  Taryn still wanted to talk and dance and showed very little interest in sleep.  It wasn’t until three o’clock in the morning when she decided to call it a night.  Alex and I were ready to hit the sheets, since we were tired from hosting and making sure everyone had a good time and keeping the designated drivers sober.  We were successful with everyone but Taryn.

I lay in bed awake, my head on Alex’s chest as we quietly chatted.  I heard a door open, possibly the guest bedroom door down the hall and assumed Mark or Taryn were still awake.  Moments later we heard the loud sound of breaking glass.  Alex and I both jumped out of bed and ran in the direction of the noise.  It came from the kitchen.

As we entered the kitchen, there stood Taryn Simmonds in only her black lace thong, her large breasts exposed.

“Oh, I’m so sorry about all this.  I was just getting a glass of water and it slipped out of my hand,” she apologized, holding her one arm over her breasts to cover them.  She wasn’t doing a good job at covering herself, since I could see everything.

“Whoa,” said Alex as he turned around and looked away, obviously made uncomfortable by Taryn’s nudity in his own kitchen.  “Babe, why don’t you take Taryn to the bedroom and give her something to sleep in while I clean this up.  Just make sure you don’t step on anything.  I don’t think I want to suture anything at this time of night,” he said, as he went to grab the vacuum.

I walked Taryn to Alex’s bedroom and grabbed a large t-shirt from his closet. “Here you go.  You can sleep in this,” I said, handing the t-shirt to her, hoping she would put it on immediately so I wouldn’t have to see her breasts and butt cheeks any longer than I already had.

“You’re so sweet, Clara.  Would you have a drink with me?” she slurred.  She must have had another drink or two before heading to bed, because she seemed more drunk than before Alex and I went to bed.

“Maybe tomorrow,” I replied, trying my best to get her to go to bed.

Once the t-shirt was on, I walked Taryn to the guest room and peeked in to make sure Mark was all right.  He looked fine and was breathing, so I headed back to the kitchen to see how Alex was doing with the clean up.

“What the fuck was that?” he whispered, his eyes wide.  “Was she almost naked in my kitchen?  Did she go to bed?” he asked.

“Oh yeah.  I think she and Mark will wake up with a slight headache in the morning.”

Alex made sure every particle of glass was cleaned up and vacuumed, “Okay, baby, let’s go to bed,” he said, taking my hand.

<><><>

Mark awakened with a headache the following morning and Taryn looked like death.  Alex and I hadn’t slept much after the broken drinking glass incident.  We were tired, sleep deprived, and cranky.

“Hey, Alex, you got anything for a headache?” It was Mark looking for Alex.

Alex gave him some aspirin for his headache, which I hoped would quiet him down.  He was talking so loudly so early in the morning.

“Some party, huh?” he turned to me, still reeking of alcohol.  “You sure know how to dance, young lady,” he said.

“Thank you for letting us stay the night, Alex,” Taryn pitched in.  “It was really sweet of you to make sure we didn’t get behind the wheel.  I wanted to remain the designated driver, but the party was so much fun that I had to have a few drinks,” she said, smiling through her artificial white teeth.

I thought they were never going to leave.  Alex offered to make breakfast and they agreed to stay.  I wasn’t comfortable around Mark - especially after the email he had sent me during the week, which Alex had no idea about.

“You are a great cook, Alex,” Taryn complimented.

“Oh yeah, this bacon is perfectly cooked,” Mark added.  “Do you cook, Claire?” he asked me.

“Not really.  I can make a few things, but nothing compared to Alex,” I replied.

“They say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach,” Taryn stuck her nose in again.

“Really?  And all this time I thought the way to a man’s heart was through his penis,” I replied.  “If you cook gourmet food for a woman, she’s bound to please you in bed.  Isn’t that right?”

Alex looked at me and grinned, “That’s right.  I cook gourmet for Claire and she – ”

Mark spoke up, “Okay, okay, we get the picture.  No need for a demonstration, bro,” he said, holding his hand up.

“I’m a good cook,” Taryn raved about herself.

“In the kitchen or the bedroom?” Mark asked.  “You sure know how to cook in the bedroom, but I’ve never tasted anything you put together in the kitchen.”

I agreed with Mark in my mind.  She was trying to cook up something for Alex last night, but it didn’t go as she had planned.

She rolled her eyes, “Whatever,” she said and continued to eat.

Finally, after breakfast, they decided to head home.  “Alex, I will wash your t-shirt and give it back to you at work tomorrow.  Thank you for your hospitality.  Goodbye, Clara,” she said to me before getting in her car.

“See you two at the hospital,” said Mark as he took a seat in the car.

“Clara?” Alex mumbled as he nudged me with his elbow.

“They make a fantastic duo,” I said as I waved goodbye.

<><><>

The weather was warm, so Alex and I decided to take a dip in his infinity pool.  There weren’t too many places you could go for a swim in the middle of January.  California was one of those places.

“Alex, you should visit Angela today,” I said as I tread water.

“I will visit her tomorrow after work,” he replied.

“Will she be okay?  You sure you don’t want to go see her?” I asked.

“The rehab said they would call if there were any issues.  It’s been quiet, so I will stop by on the way home tomorrow.  I want to spend the day with you, baby.  Don’t you miss me?” he asked, pulling me toward him in the warm pool water.  “I thought you didn’t want me to visit Angela so that she doesn’t get the wrong message.”

“I didn’t say not to visit her, Alex.  I said you don’t need to spend so many hours with her.  Checking up on her is not going to make her think you want her back,” I clarified.

“We’re done talking about Angela, got it!” he stated.  “I want to enjoy spending time with you, baby.  It was bad enough we had to entertain two drunks in the middle of the night.  One of which has resulted in the extreme need to sanitize and bleach my kitchen,” he added.

“You’re on your own with that,” I said laughing as I splashed him with water.

“Oh, shit!” he exclaimed.  “What time is it?” he asked.

“I think it’s noon.  Why?” I asked.

He charged out of the pool, quickly drying himself with a towel.  “I have to go to a taping of  ‘Making A Difference,’” he said.

“What’s that?” I asked.

“It’s a reconstructive surgery documentary and I’m being interviewed; the question and answer thing – you know,” he replied, heading inside.  I dried off and followed him.  I had seen a plastic surgery gone wrong show with Alex as one of the interviewed surgeons, explaining how much is too much and what could go wrong during certain procedures.

Alex showered and dressed in a suit and tie.  I had never seen him in a suit and tie, only in a tuxedo in New York when we attended the gala event.  He looked more handsome than ever.  His hair was perfectly combed and his black and gray Armani tie went perfectly with the shirt and suit. His eyes were the perfect shade of blue to match the ocean.

“Do I look okay?” he asked.

“Okay?  You look so much more than okay, Alex.  Too bad you’re running late,” I replied, my index finger smoothly and slowly gliding against his tie, toward his belt.

He took a hold of my finger and planted a kiss on my lips.  “I will be back to continue this,” he said before he turned and headed out.

I decided to continue swimming.  At least it was exercise on a warm, beautiful January day.  I sunbathed for a bit until I felt too warm and took another dip in the pool.  I did so many laps in Alex’s long infinity pool, that I was starving in no time.  I got out of the pool, dried myself and headed inside to warm up the leftovers from the party.  I fed myself, took a quick shower and crawled into bed for a short nap.

I slowly emerged from a sleep when I felt his warm lips pressed against mine.  I opened my eyes slowly, as I was still very drowsy.

“Sleeping without me?” asked Alex, removing his tie and unbuttoning his shirt.  It took me a moment or so to realize that I wasn’t dreaming and he was real.

“How did it go,” I asked.

“I don’t know.  I was too busy daydreaming about the things I want to do to you,” he replied as he removed his belt, shoes, and let his pants fall to the floor.  “And the things I want you to do to me.”  He gazed at me with his hungry eyes, applying one knee on the bed before his lips moved toward mine again.  One hand grabbed the back of my head, fingers entwined with my damp hair, his tongue pushing against mine as I reciprocated.

I grabbed his length and stroked it as he moaned into my mouth.  I pushed him over so that he was on his back and took it in my mouth as I continued to stroke with one hand.  He moaned in pleasure as he dug his hands into my hair.  I stopped and moved back up toward his lips and began to kiss him.  I wasn’t going to let him come so quickly. 

He flipped me onto my back and moved his fingers into me, his lips never moving away from mine other than to tell me, “You’re so wet, baby.”  My heart raced even quicker when he removed his fingers and entered me.  He pushed himself deep into me as I pushed my hips toward him.  I thought my heart was going to jump out of my chest.  Chills ran up and down my spine every time he touched me.  His warm breath in my mouth magnified the sensation.  We came together, moaning, as he spilled himself into me and collapsed his chest on my breasts.

“I love you, baby,” he said before he fell asleep, his body entwined with mine.

<><><>

Alex was still sound asleep when my cell phone rang.  The loud ringer startled me, but Alex didn’t even hear it.  It was my mother.

“Hi, sweetheart.  What are you guys up to?” she asked.

“Hey mom.  We’re just resting and recovering from the party last night,” I replied.

“How was that?  I hope you had a great time,” she said.

“It was really fun, that’s why we’re recovering,” I giggled.

“I’m glad you had a good time, honey.  Your dad and I are going to fire up the barbeque and thought you and Alex could join us if you’re up for it,” she offered.

“Sure, mom.  Alex is taking a nap, but I’m sure he won’t say no,” with that I hung up and worked on awakening Alex.

“Alex,” I ran my fingers through his hair, which probably made him more comfortable and sleepier than if I were to just nudge him to wake up.  “Alex, my parents invited us over to a barbeque,” I said.

“Mmmm, yeah, I’m hungry.  Let me wash off my makeup,” he said.

“Makeup?  What makeup?” Was he dreaming?  Talking in his sleep?

“The makeup they put on my face at the studio before they filmed,” he replied.

“Oh,” I laughed.  “I thought you were talking in your sleep.  Come on Alex.  Get up so we can go.  I’m really hungry,” I said.

We packed up and locked his house since we wouldn’t be there during the week.  On the drive to my parents’ house, Alex held my hand in his.  He was quiet – probably still exhausted from the previous night.

“Thanks for the party last night, Alex.  It means a lot that you take my promotion seriously, although it’s obviously nothing compared to your accomplishments in the surgical world,” I said.

“It isn’t nothing.  It’s a big step in the right direction for your future.  I know the career thing is very important to you, although I would prefer you stay home all day in my bed and make babies with me,” he winked.

“Um, no.  The work thing is just where I want to be right now.  I love to be in your bed, don’t get me wrong, but we have to compromise on the bed thing for after work hours,” I said, squeezing his hand.  “And the baby thing will have to wait for now,” I added.

“Whatever.  You’re so damn stubborn,” he said as he pulled up in front of my parents’ house and killed the engine of his Porsche.  He turned to face me, “But what you don’t know is that I’m more stubborn than you are,” he expressed.

“Let’s go eat, Dr. Blake,” I said, ignoring his comment as I opened my door and headed out of the car.  Alex got out of the car as well and came over to the passenger side.

“I was going to open that for you,” he said.

“I can open it myself.  I’m a big girl,” I smiled.

He shook his head, “Stubborn, stubborn,” he said.

I used my key to open the front door so I wouldn’t have to disturb anyone.  I could smell the aroma of steak on the barbeque grill all the way to the front door.  We headed to the kitchen, where my mother was preparing a salad.  Cynthia Crow, their neighbor was helping my mother.

“Hello, lovely ladies,” I greeted, hugging both of them.  Alex gave them a hug as well and headed outside to my father and Pat, Cynthia’s husband.

“You look great, Claire,” said Cynthia.  “Congratulations on your promotion at work.  Your mom told me all about it,” she said.

“Thank you, Mrs. Crow,” I smiled.

I went out to the backyard where my father had fired up the grill and was sharing a beer with Pat and Alex.

“Hi honey.  It’s so good to see you.  Every Sunday should be like this.  Steaks on the grill, beer in my hand, cigar in my mouth, and some of my favorite people to share it all with,” he said.

I gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek.  “Smells good, dad.  You sure are the king of the grill,” I said.

During dinner, Cynthia talked about how she missed her kids who had gone away to college.  She was so excited that they would be visiting in a few months for Spring break.

“The house is just so quiet and empty.  Just the other night, I turned to Pat and told him we should have had more children,” she chuckled.  “That way, we’d have a few young ones still at home.”

Alex looked at me and grinned.  I knew he completely agreed with Cynthia, since he wanted to have so many children.

“Alex wants to have twelve kids,” I blurted.

“Oh come on, Claire.  Ten will do,” he replied.  Everyone laughed.

“I will drink to that, Alex,” Cynthia raised her wine glass.

I helped my mother clean up and load the dishwasher after we were done eating.

“You doing good, honey?” she asked.

“Yeah, I’m doing really well.  I’m happy and everything is going great with Alex,” I replied.

“That’s wonderful.  I like to see you happy,” she smiled, rubbing her soft hand on my cheek.

Alex and I headed out after desert.  The weekend had gone by so quickly that I didn’t feel ready to go back to work the following morning.  Once we were at my place, it started to sink in that it was Sunday night and there was no changing that.  I watered the few plants I had to ensure they didn’t die, since I was infamous for killing plants.

Alex’s cell phone rang just as I was about to water my plants.  It was the rehab facility informing him about Angela and her progress or lack of progress.

“She’ll get through it.  I know.  I understand.  Thank you,” he said before he ended the call.

“Is everything okay?” I asked.

“Yeah, she’s fine.  She just had a difficult day, that’s all.  I will stop by there tomorrow on my way home if it’s okay with you,” he said.

“Of course it’s okay with me, Alex,” I replied.

“Thanks, baby,” he said as he gently put his hand on my shoulder.

We heard a commotion coming from outside the condo.  We opened the front door and stepped outside to see what was going on.  One of the newlywed couples who lived in the community were outside screaming at each other.  They were in a full blown yelling match.  The wife headed back inside and showed up a few seconds later with the husband’s belongings.  She threw them at him one by one – clothes, shoes, electronic devices, and anything else she was able to get her hands on.

“I hope you and that whore have a wonderful life together!” she screamed.

“Honey, it’s not what you think.  I swear it’s not.  Please give me just a second of your time so I could explain how- ”

“Get out!” she screamed.

“Please don’t do this.  I don’t deserve this,” he pleaded.

“I never want to see you again.  Thank God I don’t have a child with you!” she continued to scream.  He gave up, grabbed the things she had thrown at him, put them in his car and drove off.  She went inside, slammed the door and turned off the lights.

I felt horrible and could relate to the way she must have felt, as I had felt the same way not too long ago when I found out Alex was married to Angela.  I never wanted to feel those feelings ever again.

“Wow,” was all Alex was able to say.

“Poor girl,” I replied.

“Poor guy,” he said.

“Why poor guy, Alex?  She just caught him cheating.  She’s the one that’s hurting right now,” I noted.

“It’s probably a misunderstanding,” he replied.  “I don’t ever want that to be us, baby.  I never want to fight like that.  No matter what it may be, we have to talk it out,” he said.

“I agree.  I love you, Alex,” I said, throwing my arms around his neck.

“I love you more, baby,” he said, holding me snug from my waist.

I had a missed call on my cell phone when I was outside.  It was from Walter letting me know he was interviewing candidates for my position and would like for me to join him.  It was going to be a very busy and productive day.  I was going to be bouncing from one department to another, one floor to another - like a ping pong ball.  That’s what I loved about working in a hospital most - bouncing around, busy as a bee.

<><><>

I awakened with a scream from that disturbing nightmare again.  My heart was racing all the way into my ears.  Alex consoled me as usual, letting me know everything was going to be fine and that he was with me, and nobody was going to hurt me.  I knew all that.  It wasn’t anything new.  I just wished it would all go away and I would never have to dream again.

Chapter 12

I rushed to work the next morning.  I didn’t want to be late to the interviews Walter had scheduled.  The morning was filled with that and going back and forth to the Admitting department to continue training for my new position.  It was Anabelle’s last week, so I had to make sure I was well trained before she was gone.

I ran into Taryn in the elevator while I was in between departments.

“Claire, I want to thank you for taking care of me on Saturday night,” she said, applying her hand on my arm.  “I had way too much to drink and made a fool of myself and you were so kind to me.  Thank you,” she added, genuinely.  Was this the same woman I disliked?  Maybe she wasn’t so bad after all.  Maybe Taryn Simmonds had a kind heart underneath all that makeup and dye.

“It was nothing, Taryn.  It happens to the best of us.  I hope you and Mark had a great time,” I replied.

“We did.  Mark won’t stop talking about what a great night it was, although he doesn’t recall most of the evening,” she laughed.  “Let’s do lunch sometime.  I would really like to treat you for your kindness and hospitality.”

This must be another woman in the elevator, I thought.  Whatever had gotten into her was probably the best thing that ever happened to her.

“Sure, Taryn.  When my schedule settles down a bit, we can meet for lunch.  Have a good day,” I said as the elevator stopped on her floor.

Anabelle wasn’t in her office when I went back.  There was a knock on the door behind me as I entered the office.  I turned to see it was Jason.  “Hey, she was looking for you.  She went to lunch with some colleagues.  What are you going to eat?” he asked.

Just then, I realized that I hadn’t eaten breakfast or had anything other than a cup of coffee.  My stomach felt like it was eating itself.

“I’m starving.  Maybe I will grab something from the cafeteria,” I replied.

“Gross,” he said.

“What’s wrong with the cafeteria food?  It’s not the worst option when I’m starving,” I said.

“If you want food poisoning - suit yourself,” he replied, wrinkling his nose. 

“What are you going to eat?” I asked.

“A warm, juicy pastrami sandwich with a side of strawberry spinach salad drizzled with organic balsamic vinaigrette dressing, topped with- ”

“Okay, okay, stop. I can’t take it anymore,” I said, holding my stomach.

“Let’s go,” he said, tilting his head toward the door.

I grabbed my wallet and sunglasses and followed him out of the office.  It was a quiet day at our favorite Cuban deli.  We ordered and sat outside, since the weather was too nice to be indoors all day.

“It was some party you and Alex hosted.  I had a great time.  Thanks for everything,” he said.

“Glad you did.  How was the rest of your weekend?  What did you do?” I asked.

“Not much.  Just went surfing yesterday morning and this morning,” he smiled.

“You must be a great wave catcher.  How long have you been surfing?” I asked.

“A few years, but it feels like I’ve been doing it since I was born,” he chuckled.  “So, how do you feel you will do once Anabelle is gone?” he asked.

“I think I’ve got the important things down.  The more I think about her leaving, the more I stress,” I said.

“Don’t stress.  You’re doing a pretty good job.  I’ve heard some great things said about you in the area,” he whispered with a grin to follow. 

I realized that I had silenced my cell phone because I didn’t want it to ring or beep during the interviews.  I pulled it out of my blazer pocket to find a few missed calls and text messages from Alex.

Hi baby.  Meet me for lunch today?

Just called you, but no answer.  Is everything ok?

I guess you’re very busy.  Love you.  See you tonight.

Those messages were the sweet ones.  There were several missed calls and one last text message, which he had sent only five minutes ago.

Enjoy your lunch with Jason Hartley.  I can see you have more important things to do with your lunch hour.

My heart sank.  I looked around, but didn’t see any sign of Alex.  I looked up and told Jason we should head back to work.  I would reply to Alex’s million messages when I returned to the office.

Anabelle hadn’t returned from lunch, so it was the best time to call Alex.  He didn’t answer.  It went straight to voice mail, but I knew he was probably in the middle of a consultation with a patient.  I would send a text message.

Sorry, my phone was on silent all day due to the interviews.  It’s been in my blazer pocket all morning.  I miss you.  See you tonight.

I didn’t want to ruffle his feathers in a text message.  I would talk to him regarding his inappropriate comment about Jason at home.  I ran into Laura on my way back.

“What’s wrong?” she asked.

“Nothing.  Why?” I replied.

“You just look a little out of it, that’s all.  Some party Saturday night.  Robert and I had a lot of fun.  Speaking of fun, did you enjoy the company of your overnight guests?” she asked, laughing.

I filled her in on Taryn’s partial nudity in Alex’s kitchen.  Laura couldn’t stop laughing.  “I’m so sorry you had to witness that.  You should probably make an appointment to have your eyes checked,” she continued to laugh hysterically.  “I really, really needed this laugh, Claire.  Thank you.  You’re the best.  Gotta run,” she gave me a quick hug and was off to her new duties.

<><><>

On the drive home I recalled Alex would make a stop at the rehab center before he came home.  I thought I would go to the mall and pick up some new lipstick colors to pass the time.  I wasn’t in the mood to go home and hang out by myself with Alex’s text on my mind.  I bought several different shades of lipstick because I couldn’t decide on only one or two.

When I got home, Alex still wasn’t there.  I changed out of my clothes and headed for the yoga mat.  It was exactly what I needed after a day like that.  It was past eight o’clock and I still hadn’t heard from Alex.  No text message.  No phone call.  I didn’t know what else to do with myself but go for a run.  I knew I shouldn’t run alone and knew Alex would freak if he found out, but I didn’t care.  I put on my running sneakers, plugged my ears with music, and off I went.

It had been a few months since I had been out for a run.  The last time I ran was when Alex and I had broken up.  The cool air felt so good against my face.  The nighttime breeze filled my lungs with freshness.  I was so out of shape and breathless by the time I returned.

I slowed down to a brisk walk once I entered the condominium community.  I heard a car on the road behind me and moved to the side to let it pass.  It didn’t pass and it seemed like it was rolling at my pace.  I turned my head slowly to look at it.  It was Alex.

I pulled out the one earphone I had left in my ear and lowered my head into the passenger side open window of his Porsche.  “Hey, Alex,” I said.  I could see from the look on his face that he wasn’t happy.

“I’ll see you inside,” he said and drove off.

I walked slower because I knew we were really going to get into it.  He was pissed off about Jason, I was pissed off about his insecure text about Jason and I having lunch together, and now, he was even more pissed off about my run.  I had nothing exciting to look forward to once I entered that condo.

Once inside, I kicked off my shoes and headed for the kitchen for some water.  Alex wasn’t downstairs, so I knew he had gone upstairs.  I could hear the water coming from the bathroom shower, which stopped shortly after I entered my bedroom.  Alex emerged with only a towel wrapped around his waist.

“How was your run?” he asked.

“It was perfect – just what I needed,” I replied.

“Hmm.  That’s nice.  I thought you weren’t going to run by yourself anymore.”

“I needed a release and you weren’t home, so I went by myself,” I replied.

“I just worry about you.  What if something happens to you again?  Will you be able to survive something like that twice?” he asked.

I wanted to tell him that I survived what his best friend Phil almost did to me inside closed doors, but I refrained.  I rolled my eyes instead.

“Don’t roll your eyes at me, Claire.  I’m serious,” he said sternly.

“Serious about what, Alex?  You and I both know this is about Jason.  My phone was on silent.  Big deal.  I didn’t hear my phone or get your text messages in time.  Big deal.  I was starving and Jason was going to lunch so I tagged along.  Big deal, Alex!” I shouted.

“What happened to your rule Claire?  The I-don’t-do-lunch-with-men-from-work rule?  Did that rule only apply to me? It seems so easy for you to tag along with other men,” his voice was raised at this point.

“I don’t want to talk about this,” I said, trying to walk past him into the bathroom.

He grabbed my upper arm, “Claire, I don’t want you to go to lunch with Jason, by yourself, just the two of you. He’s very popular with all the ladies at work, especially the pretty ones.  People will talk and I know you don’t want that for your career,” he noted.

“Wait a second.  It was okay for me to go out to lunch with you when I was new at the hospital.  But it’s not okay for me to have lunch with Jason?” I asked.

“It’s different with us.  We had already planned a date before we ran into each other at work, Claire,” he said.

“I’ve seen you have lunch with Taryn Simmonds before, Alex.  Double standard!” I shouted.

“We weren’t together at the time.  Taryn Simmonds,” he held his head in his hands.  “Totally not my type,” he expressed.

“Exactly how I feel about Jason,” I confessed.  “Excuse me.  I have to take a shower and go to bed,” I said as I walked past him and closed and locked the bathroom door.

Once I was done with my shower, I didn’t bother going downstairs.  I had no desire to continue the argument with Alex.  I went directly to bed and fell asleep immediately.  The run had taken a lot out of me after a long day at work.

When my alarm went off in the morning, Alex was still home, getting ready.  I noticed he was wearing a suit and tie; not his usual scrubs.

“Where are you going?” I asked, sitting up in bed.

“Court.  Been summoned for work.  Medical stuff. See you later,” he said bluntly and left.  No hug.  No kiss.  Nothing but straightforward, short replies.  I wondered how long he was going to be distant with me.  I was so irritated by his jealous demeanor.

I called Laura on the way to work.  She was driving on her way to the hospital as well.  I needed to vent to prevent myself from murdering Alex.

“I don’t know what his problem is, Laura,” I began.

“Maybe he’s afraid that you will run off with Jason, marry him, and have adorable little surfer babies,” she laughed.

“I needed that, thanks,” I laughed.  “But seriously, having lunch in the middle of the day in a public place does not mean that I’m sleeping with him,” I replied, defensively.

“Are you forgetting how you met Alex?  Lunchtime rendezvous.  Workplace love,” she giggled.

“You’re not helping, Laura,” I replied.

“What do you want me to say?” she asked.  “He obviously doesn’t like seeing you sharing a meal with a good looking bachelor from the hospital.  It’s as simple as that, Claire,” she said.

“I guess you’re right.  I shouldn’t have lunch with Jason by myself.  You will come with us,” I chuckled.

“I’d love to be the third wheel.  See you at lunch.”

Lunch?  What was that?  I didn’t even get to eat lunch because I was so busy.  Anabelle had a few more days at the hospital before she moved.  Walter had made a decision about candidates for that position.  Aside from performing my new duties after Anabelle was gone, I had to train Walter’s new assistant.  Life was going to be busy for me for the next few weeks.

I didn’t leave the hospital until a quarter past seven.  Alex was already home when I arrived.  “Hey,” he said as I walked in the door.

“Hey yourself,” I replied, putting down my purse and heading straight for the kitchen.

“I was waiting for you so we could have dinner together,” he said from the living room.  There was food waiting for me on the kitchen counter.  Alex had made spaghetti squash and turkey meatballs.

“It was extremely busy for me today,” I began.  “So busy that I didn’t even have lunch, so you don’t have to worry – I didn’t go to lunch with Jason today.  Oh, and I don’t feel like running, so I will stay indoors tonight.”

I could hear him get off the couch and charge toward the kitchen.  I casually put my food on a plate and walked to the dining room.  He followed me there as I took a seat and began devouring my food.  Alex sat on the other end of the table and just watched me eat.  I had a feeling he was waiting for me to finish my food before he went ballistic again.  I pushed my plate away from me after devouring every ounce.

“Thank you, Alex.  That was delicious,” I said as I stood up off the chair.  “I’m going to take a shower and call it a night.”

I headed upstairs and into my room to the most beautiful surprise.  The words I’m sorry were spelled out with red rose petals on my bed and the room lit with only candles everywhere.  There was a box of Godiva chocolates on the nightstand.  He had done it again.  Just when I was so angry and wanted to let him have it, he had to go and do something like this.

I turned around to go back downstairs, but ran into Alex in the doorway.

“Alex, I-” his lips locked with mine before I could go on.  His body was pressed against mine and I was pressed against the wall, his hardness against me.  I parted my lips and allowed his tongue to enter my mouth as mine pushed against his.  He picked me up and threw me on the bed, climbing on top of me immediately.  Our clothes were off in a matter of seconds as he entered me.  Our lovemaking was wild, passionate, and fast as we came together.

“I overreacted as usual, baby.  You can go to lunch with whomever you choose,” he said, running his fingers through my hair.

I lifted my head and applied my chin on his chest.  “I will only go to lunch with Jason when it’s not just the two of us.  You’re right, Alex; it doesn’t look good.  People are just waiting to talk about someone or something in the hospital and I don’t want to be the center of gossip.  They’ve said enough about you and I.  I don’t need anymore chitter chatter.”

“And the running-”

“I will wait for you next time,” I interrupted.  “What I’m going to do now is share that box of chocolates with you,” I said, pointing to the nightstand.

“Bring it, baby,” he said, sitting up.  “I thought if the flowers and candles didn’t do the trick, the chocolate will do it,” he chuckled.

“Rose petals, candles, sex, and chocolate.  What more can a girl ask for?”

<><><>

The rest of the week was great.  Alex was very sweet to me and continued to apologize for his behavior.  A fresh dozen roses awaited me the following night, filling the crystal Tiffany vase once again.  Dinner was served, accompanied by wine or champagne.  He knew how exhausted I was, so a warm bath was waiting for me before dinner.

“Alex, will you teach me how to cook like you do?” I asked on the drive to his house on Friday night.

“You don’t have to worry about cooking, baby.  I will do the cooking in the kitchen as long as you do the cooking in the bedroom,” he smiled, exposing his dimple.

“Maybe I can cook in both places,” I grinned.  “Come on, Alex, teach me this weekend.”

“All right.  It’s not a bad idea, actually.  What if I fall ill and someone needs to make soup for me?”

“See?  I knew there was a good reason why I should learn how to cook,” I said.

He took my hand into his and kissed the top of it.  “Let’s make a grocery store pit stop before we go home, so we can start the cooking session tomorrow.”

With that, he drove to the Whole Foods Market.  Three hundred dollars later, Alex loaded as many bags as he could in his small Porsche trunk, one bag inside on the floor in front of me, and one on my lap.

“Alex, why on earth didn’t you stop by at your house first and take your truck?” I laughed.

“It fit, baby,” he smiled.  “Besides, if I stopped by at my house, I would be too lazy to leave.”

After we unloaded the groceries and Alex put them all away, he opened a bottle of chardonnay.  We headed up to the roof, since the weather was so nice. 

“Cheese, crackers, and wine.  We must be getting old, Alex.  This is as wild as our Friday nights are getting,” I laughed.

“We can make it wilder by adding some grapes if you’d like,” he offered.

“No thanks, the wine has enough grapes in it, I’m sure,” I replied.

Alex poured the two large wine glasses until there was no more room left, leaving nothing in the bottle.

“Easy there, turbo,” I said.

“Sorry, babe.  Just had something on my mind,” he replied.

“Is something bothering you?” I asked.

“No, nothing bad.  I’ve just been thinking about us moving in together,” he looked impatient to hear my response to that idea.

“I don’t know, Alex.  It’s not that I don’t want to move in with you.  It’s just that we’ve only been together for six months-”

“Seven,” he corrected.

“Not if you count the time we had a break from each other,” I pitched in.

“Okay, fine, six months.  We’ve been through so much together in that short time, Claire.  You don’t like the idea, do you?” he asked.

“No, Alex.  It’s a great idea, but I just got my place not too long ago.  If you really think about it, we do live together.  When was the last time we slept apart?” I asked.

“I know, I know.  It was just an idea.  I thought maybe you could rent out your place and move in here with me.  Together,” his brilliant idea.

“What if I wanted you to rent out this house and live with me in my condo?” I asked.

“Is that what you really want?” he asked.  Knowing Alex, he probably would take that offer.

“No.  Why would I ask you to give up this beautiful Malibu property for a small condo?” I giggled.

“You know I would do that for you,” his face serious now.

“I had a feeling you would,” I said.  I looked around and inhaled the fresh ocean scent and shook my head.  “I would never ask you to leave this property, Alex.  I will give up my place when and if the time is right,” I added.

“Stubborn, stubborn,” Alex shook his head, got up and headed for the elevator.

“Where are you going?” I asked.

“To get a couple of blankets.  I know you can’t sleep out here if you’re cold,” he smiled.

<><><>

I woke up the next morning in Alex’s bed.  I vaguely recall a drowsy ghost of myself slowly sleepwalking from the rooftop to the bedroom.  As usual, Alex wasn’t in bed.  The early riser in him had convinced him to cook up a storm in the kitchen.  Pancakes, french toast, fancy omelets, and fresh squeezed orange juice awaited me.

“Hey, I thought you were going to teach me how to cook?” I asked, standing behind him as he continued to cook, my arms around him.

He turned around, “Breakfast is not a big deal.  We will cook up the better stuff later,” he said as he flipped a pancake.

After breakfast, Alex and I decided to take a walk on the beach.  The sky looked a bit strange to me and it smelled like something was burning.

“Alex, do you smell that?” I asked.

“Yeah, smells like fire.  But I don’t see it anywhere.”  We took a good look around and didn’t see or hear anything.  We continued our walk along the beach, hand in hand.

When we returned, Alex began taking the items out of the refrigerator and pantry so he would begin to teach me a few things in the kitchen.  We began with a pot roast and gravy.  Yes, Alex taught me how to make gravy from scratch – not an easy task for someone who doesn’t know her way around the kitchen.

Then came the more difficult part - how to make roux.  I messed that up more than enough times.  I didn’t stir fast enough.  It was going to take some time to be a fraction of the cook that Alex was.  I somehow managed to learn a few things and we cooked up a feast together.

“I think we have food enough for two weeks,” I laughed.

“Or longer,” Alex chuckled.  He narrowed his eyebrows and went outside.  “Babe, I think there’s a fire nearby,” he announced.

“Fire? What?” I began to freak out.  I’ve had a few close calls with fires in Calabasas when I lived with my parents.

“Don’t panic, baby.  Turn on the TV,” he commanded.

I looked for the remote and finally found it in my terrified state.  I turned on the local news channel, which proved there was indeed a huge fire heading toward Malibu.  The sky seemed to get darker and an ugly shade of orange.  I could hear the sirens from the fire engines and fire helicopters began to circulate in the area.  Another announcement stated there were mandatory evacuations near Alex’s house.

“We should leave,” my brilliant idea.

“Stay calm.  Here’s what we are going to do.  I’m going to gather all my important belongings and put them all in the truck.  You are going to take the truck and head to your place,” he said.

“Wait.  Aren’t you coming with me?” I asked.  Who would stick around only to be charcoal?

“I’m going to stay as long as I can and hose down the house.  I have to keep it wet so it doesn’t catch fire from the amber,” he replied.  I had a feeling Alex had been through this before. 

“But-” I began.

“Claire, just do as I say.  Everything will be fine,” he promised.  He quickly gathered important paperwork, computers, paintings, and many other items that were probably of sentimental value to him.

As I got into the truck, I could hear the fire trucks drive by and announce a mandatory evacuation.  But stubborn Alex wouldn’t budge.  He grabbed a hose and began hosing down the huge property.

I rolled down the truck window, “Alex, you better leave here very soon.  I’ll be waiting at my place,” I said.

“Don’t worry about me, baby.  Just get out of here before it gets worse.  I love you and miss you already,” he said, kissing me before I headed down the beautifully paved driveway and onto Pacific Coast Highway.

The fire seemed to be moving quickly and had not been contained at all as of yet.  The roads were beginning to close down as vehicles were escorted out of the area by the fire department.  I could see the orange flames on the other side of the hill.  The fire wasn’t too close, but it sure was big and moving with the wind.  I couldn’t believe there was such a huge fire in January.  It wasn’t even fire season.

I knew the fire fighters would soon force Alex to leave if the fire headed any closer to his house.  There was no joke about a mandatory evacuation.  I pulled up in front of my condominium, killed the engine of his huge truck, and left his belongings inside as he had asked.

The first thing I did was turn on the television to the news channel.  The fire hadn’t been contained one bit and was still growing.  No homes had been lost yet and I hoped it remained that way.  The fire chief was speaking on the news channel pleading with residents of Malibu not to play hero and evacuate when asked.

My mother called worried about Alex and me.  I let her know that I was home safe and sound, but Alex was too stubborn to leave his house.

“Oh, men,” she said.  “He’s just like your father.  They always know best and nothing and no one can convince them otherwise.  Keep me informed, I’m getting worried about him, too.”

Another hour passed by, and another one after that.  I kept calling Alex, but his phone kept directing me to voicemail.  I began to pace and even turned off the television, as I couldn’t take the fire news anymore.

<><><>

Day turned into night and night into the next day.  There was still no word from Alex.  I called again, but no luck.  I turned on the television and discovered the good news; the fire had been contained with only a few homes lost in Malibu.  Oh no!  Where was Alex?

My mother called again, “Any news from Alex, honey?” she asked.

“Nope.  I’m beginning to feel sick.  I think his house may have burned down or something.  He hasn’t called and his phone is dead and he’s probably-” the thought of Alex being hurt, burned, or dead was going to kill me.

“Just stay calm, sweetheart.  He’s probably okay.  Don’t worry,” she reassured me.

As I was still on the phone with my mother, I heard the front door open, as Alex appeared.  He looked like he had just walked through a fire - dark, muddy ashes all over his face.  His hair was a mess and so were his clothes.  I let my mother know he just walked in and was in one piece.

“Alex!” I ran to him and hugged him tightly as if he had returned from the dead.  “Where have you been?  I’ve been calling you since yesterday!” I wasn’t so calm and excited to see him anymore.

“I’m sorry, baby.  The home phones were down and my cell phone was dead.  I forgot my charger here.  I’m sorry.  The house is okay.  The pool is definitely going to need to be redone, since it’s ruined from the ashes from the fire.  Other than that, everything else is minor.  All the hosing down I did saved the house,” he said with a big sigh.

“I’m so glad you’re okay, Alex.  The next time you disappear on me like this, I will set you on fire myself,” I said as we both laughed hysterically.

Chapter 13

Spring arrived quicker than it had ever before.  The smell of beautiful, colorful blooming flowers was everywhere and I enjoyed every minute of it.  Angela was out of rehab and trying to glue her life back together, especially her medical career.  Their divorce was final and Alex felt like he could finally go on with his life and breathe without Angela begging for money.  They settled on a good sum and Angela couldn’t complain.

Laura and Robert had a beautiful wedding in Santa Barbara.  She made a stunning bride and Robert looked like the happiest man in the world.  Guess who caught the bouquet?  Yes, that would be me.  I wasn’t trying to catch it, nor did I even reach up or jump to grab it. It just sort of landed on me.

“You’re next!” Laura pointed at me with excitement in her big brown eyes.

They didn’t go to Tahiti on their honeymoon like Laura wanted, but they did go to Fiji.  Not too shabby.  She returned with a gorgeous bronze tan, well rested, and happier than I had ever seen her.

I was doing a great job at avoiding lunchtimes alone with Jason.  I only invited him to lunch when I was already heading out with Laura or Taryn.  Yes, Taryn Simmonds had invited me out to lunch several times.  I guess I was wrong about her – she wasn’t so evil after all.  She mentioned a few times that she didn’t have a good relationship with her mother.

“She’s always been a little cold with me.  She was very strict when I was growing up.  We don’t share that mother-daughter bond like others do.  I called her recently to see how she’s doing because I call her at least once a week to check up on her and send her money as needed.  Anyway, she has cancer, but nothing that can’t be removed and treated with chemo and radiation therapy.  I just feel like I’m going to lose the mother I never had,” she confessed.

“It’s not too late to make up for the past, Taryn.  You should keep in touch with her daily.  Maybe you can visit her more often.  I know she’s in Chicago and it’s not the easiest thing to travel back and forth, but I think you will fill that empty void and create the bond with her that you’re aching for.  Trust me,” I said.

“I don’t know, Claire.  My memory can’t help but flash back to my teenage years and how badly I needed her, but she was never there.  She was replacing one boyfriend for another, trying to find her Mr. Millionaire, leaving me all by myself at nights.  She never found that millionaire she was searching for.  I, on the other hand, did find my Mr. Right.  He wasn’t a millionaire – but close enough.  I got my act together, finished school, and made a great career.  Mr. Right turned out to be Mr. Wrong.  I wasn’t able to have children, so he ran off and found a woman with a healthy uterus,” she rolled her eyes.  “Anyway, he was nice enough to leave me with some money, but I never found anyone else after that.  I mean, not anyone worth finding,” she chuckled.

“What about Mark?  You two seem like you’re crazy about each other,” I said.

“Yeah, I guess.  Mark’s not the perfect match for me, but he’s okay.  I’m just spending my lonely days with him to pass the time,” she laughed.  “But don’t tell him I said that,” her eyes wide as she continued to laugh.

Mark continued to send a handful of flirtatious emails my way.  Either he wanted to meet for coffee, lunch, a secret dinner, or just wanted to tell me how beautiful I looked.  I confronted him about the emails one day in the hallway, just the two of us, and he denied sending them as usual.  One thing I noticed about Mark was that when he knew he was in trouble, he used denial as an escape.  I didn’t share the emails or the information in the emails with Alex.  I was doing a good job at keeping secrets from him.  But the secrets I kept weren’t too bad; I wasn’t doing anything wrong.  I wasn’t lying or cheating.  I was just keeping unpleasant information from him and trying to handle it my own way.

A knock on my office door was followed by Alex entering, “Hey, baby,” he said, his smile brighter than a dental commercial.  “I just wanted to stop by and let you know we are going dancing tomorrow night.  We have to celebrate the finalization of my divorce somehow, right?” he beamed.

“I can’t wait,” I said as he closed and locked my office door and slowly headed toward me.  “Alex, did you just lock that door?” I asked.

“Hmm, let me check,” he said, moving his eyes toward the door and assuring it’s locked. “Yep, I sure did,” he nodded as he continued to move toward me.  He turned my chair away from my computer as he lowered his lips to mine, his hand on my knee under my pencil skirt as he moved it slowly up my inner thigh.

I put my hand on his to stop him from going any further. “Alex, this isn’t a good idea,” I said, but he didn’t care.  He continued to kiss me as his hand moved all the way up, his fingers scooting my panties to the side.  He pulled me a bit so that my bottom scooted closer toward him.

“You’re wet and ready for me, aren’t you?” he asked, kissing me harder.  He slipped his fingers inside me, smoothly gliding in and out as I began to pant.  I squeezed as tight as I could as he continued the in and out movement with his perfect surgeon fingers.

“Do you want me to stop?” he asked.

“No way,” I said, short of breath.

I squeezed tighter as he moved faster, curving his fingers until I exploded into an orgasm around his fingers.  I had to bite my lower lip and cover my mouth with my hand as I came.  Otherwise, the whole first floor of the hospital would hear me coming.

Alex gave me one last kiss on the lips and headed toward the door, “You have a great afternoon, Miss Morgan,” he said, unlocking my office door and leaving.  My mouth hung open as I tried to pull myself together.

My phone rang, “Claire, are you ready for you two o’clock?” asked Laney, my assistant.

“What?  Oh, uh, yeah, shoot, I almost forgot.  Thanks for the reminder,” I said as I made all the necessary adjustments to my clothes and hair before I left my office.

“I was going to call you earlier, but you looked busy,” she said.  I was mortified.  My assistant probably thought office sex was a usual thing for Alex and I.  I received a text message from Alex.

You were so wet, I can still taste you on my fingers.  Can’t wait to finish what we started at home tonight.  Love you.

I’m off to a meeting I almost forgot about because your fingers were inside me.  If you’re lucky, you can put something else inside me tonight.  I’m off to a meeting without any time to dry myself.  See you tonight.

“You look a little flushed, Claire,” Jason noted as he took a seat next to me in the meeting. 

“I know.  I almost forgot about this meeting so I was rushing to get here,” I replied.

“Umm hmm,” was all that came out of Jason.

“Look who’s talking, Mr. Bachelor of Downtown Memorial,” I nudged him with my elbow.

“Not even.  I’m not single and I’m definitely not a player or a cheater,” he replied.

“You didn’t say that you’re not a flirt,” I winked.

“Hey, whatever works to get my job done,” he confessed.  “Did you just wink at me?” he grinned.

“Whatever works to get my job done,” I mimicked, flipping my hair.

<><><>

I left work a little early to get home before Alex to surprise him with dinner.  He had given me several lessons on cooking.  I wasn’t a professional like him just yet, but I could sure put together a decent meal here and there.

I even put on the sexy apron Alex had gotten for me.  It was a picture of a woman’s body wearing a red polka dot bra and daisy dukes.  He got a kick out of it every time I put it on while I cooked.

“Mmm, what a nice surprise.  What do you have cooking today, baby?” his arms around me from behind.

“Pecan crusted sea bass,” I replied in the sexiest voice I could come up with.

“Can we start with dessert?” he asked, nibbling on my ear.

Alex’s wish came true; we started with dessert – on the sofa, on the floor, and on the stairs.  We worked up an appetite so big that the dinner I had prepared didn’t seem so satisfying.

“Next time I will triple the recipe,” I laughed.

<><><>

Alex had made plans for us to go to a club in Hollywood, owned by one of his friends.  He had taken me there before and I loved it.  It was called Vibe and the music and ambiance made you want to go back for more.  It was Latin music night that Friday at the club.

I wore a black Sky mini dress with an open back and long floral lace sleeves.  Alex was dressed in all black as well, his hair perfectly combed with a few loose strands above his striking blue eyes.

“Shall we take the Ferrari, sexy?” he held out his arm for me.

“We shall, Dr. Blake,” I replied, my hand inside his elbow.

The night was filled with dancing samba, cha cha, rumba, merengue, and the mambo.  I was a little rusty, since I hadn’t been dancing in a while, but Alex led the way.  His memory was fascinating when it came to dance moves.

Our drinks were by the bottle, not by the glass.  We paced ourselves as much as we could, but it was difficult when we were having the time of our lives and the music was so good.  We stayed until the club closed down, then took a walk on the streets of Hollywood until five o’clock in the morning.  We had completely sobered up by then.

When we arrived at the house, it was perfect timing to enjoy the sunrise from the roof.  The sound of the waves softly crashing into the shore, the birth of the sun causing the water to glisten, and the company of Alex with his arm around me was all I needed.

“Alex, do you know why this rooftop area is my favorite part of this house?” I asked.

“Because it’s awesome?” he asked, smiling.

I chuckled, “Yeah, that too.  We were sitting right here when you first told me that you love me,” I reminded him.

He kissed my forehead, moving my hair from my face.  “I love you even more today than the first time I told you,” he replied.

“You always know the right thing to say,” I sighed.  “I love you more, too,” I said, followed by a yawn.

“I guess you’re ready for bed,” said Alex.

“My feet are killing me and my eyelids refuse to comply.  I’m totally ready for some shut-eye,” I said, walking toward the elevator with Alex by my side.

“I feel the same way.  I guess this means we will spend our Sunday in bed,” he replied.

<><><>

Monday morning, Jason barged into my office as if he was running from a serial killer, short of breath.

“What’s wrong with you?” I asked.

“Bertha is looking for me, and I can’t deal with her right now, especially not with this headache,” he replied, his palm on his forehead.  “She’s in crazy bitch mode.”

I couldn’t help but laugh, “I’m sorry, Jason.  You’re not the only one who seems to feel that way about her.”

A hard knock on my door was followed by Bertha barging in.  Jason hid behind the door as she flung it open so beast-like, he was used as the doorstop.

“Claire, I’m looking for Jason.  Have you seen him?” she asked, her cold dark eyes glaring at me.  I didn’t want to lie so I just shrugged to gesture that I wasn’t sure.

“I swear I saw him less than two minutes ago and now he’s disappeared.  I guess I will have him overhead paged by the operator,” she said before leaving.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you,” Jason whispered.

“Jase, you have thirty seconds to leave my office.  Once the coast is clear, head out.  You’re going to get me in trouble and the last thing I need is to be on Bertha’s shit list,” I hissed.

“Got it.  You’re the best, Claire.  I owe you one,” he replied, his palms together as he continued to thank me.  He stuck his head out of my office and confirmed the absence of Bertha.  “I’ll see you later,” he said quickly and sped off.   Shortly after Jason left, I received a text message from Stefano.

Hey you!  Gonna be in your neck of the woods in a bit for an appointment.  Can we catch something to eat?

Appointment?  Is everything ok?

Yeah, just my knee.  Hurts like hell, as usual.

I’m sorry.  Hope you feel better.  Is it ok if I ask Alex to join us?

Of course.  I’m going to text him.

Alex was free for lunch that afternoon, so we met Stefano at The Falafel House.  When he got up to greet us, I noticed he was limping due to the pain in his knee.  The doctor had advised him to have surgery to correct the issue.

    “Mark can do it for you.  He’s a great surgeon.  Just keep Mandy away from him,” Alex’s brilliant idea.

The look on Stefano’s face proved he was unhappy about something.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“Nothing.  Just got into a huge argument with Mandy yesterday.  Let’s just say we’re taking a little break,” he said.

“What?  Break from what?  What happened?” I asked.

He shook his head, “It’s something so stupid and small, which turned out to be a disaster.”

“Is it bad enough to have drinks with me after work?” asked Alex.

“Yeah, I’ll meet you for happy hour,” Stefano told Alex.

“Okay, tell us what happened,” I was getting impatient.

A huge inhale before he began, “So, Mandy has this friend, Darla, who is kinda on the wild side.  They go out every now and then and I don’t say anything.  But I’ve been out with Mandy when Darla’s been around and let me tell you – she’s wild.  She drinks too much, hooks up with guys she’s only known for less than an hour, and Mandy has to take care of her.  So, I never said anything up until now.  They are planning on going out this weekend, just the two of them, so I told Mandy that I don’t think it’s a good idea for her to keep hanging out with Darla.  I don’t think it’s safe to be quite honest.  Anyway, to make a long story short, she got all pissed off and said that I’m trying to control her and that I’m being a jealous boyfriend.  It turned into a yelling match and I said things that I didn’t mean and vice versa.  And now, I’m here, without a girlfriend and a painful knee,” he said, letting out a big exhale.

Alex looked at his watch and stood up, digging into his pocket and taking out his credit card.  He handed it to the waitress to cover for the lunch and began advising Stefano.  “Here’s what you do: You apologize to Mandy for yelling and screaming and saying the shitty things you said to her.  However, you don’t apologize for your concern regarding the friend and her wild ways.  You tell her that you don’t mind her going out at all and that you’re just really worried about her when she’s out with a girl that she has to take care of and worry about – which puts her in danger.  In the meantime, you send her flowers and a box of chocolates.  So, the next time she wants to go out with this Darla friend of hers, she will take your feelings and concerns into consideration.  Never let a woman think you are trying to control her.  Otherwise, you will only lose,” he said, looking at his watch again.  “I have to head to the clinic now.  Stefano, if you still want to meet up for drinks tonight, let me know,” he kissed me and charged back to work.

“I’ll call you,” he told Alex.

We finished our lunch and left shortly after Alex.  “I’ll walk you to your car – I mean motorcycle,” I laughed.  “It sucks to see you limping like this, Stefano.  You should probably have that knee surgery already.  And why the motorcycle and not the car?” I asked.

“It’s less strain on my knee,” he replied.  He was so quiet and so down.  I had never seen him so sad, as he was always so upbeat and happy.  I guess the knee pain along with his broken heart had weighed him down.

We approached Stefano’s Ducati parked nice and pretty in the parking lot.  I gave him a quick hug and let him know everything was going to be okay.  “Call me if you need anything.  Or better yet, call Alex for that drink.  His advice about girls is better than mine,” I smiled.

“Gotcha.  Thanks for being there for me,” he said before he put on his helmet and drove off.

<><><>

The days were flying by and summer was fast approaching.  Work was getting more hectic; more hours, more work, more issues to deal with.  But I didn’t mind.  I had a goal to move up that ladder and I was sticking to it.  My employees were happy, the patients were happy, and most important of all, my boss was happy.

“I thought Anabelle was the best at this job, but you’ve proved me wrong, Claire.  Keep up the good work,” said Jack during my annual evaluation.  “And this is your new salary,” he said, pushing a sheet of paper my way so I could see the numbers.  “I would give you an even bigger raise, but we have guidelines to follow, unfortunately,” he smiled.

My eyes widened, as my new salary was almost a twenty percent increase.  “Wow, thank you, Jack,” I said.

“Hard work pays off.  Don’t share the raise information with anyone.  Not all employees get the same amount, so keep it on the down low, please,” he said before I left his office.  I sent a text message to Alex about my new salary.

Good job, baby. I’m so proud of you.  We’re both burned out from work.  We need to go out of town.  Take the week of the 4th off.

The 4th?  That’s in a few days, Alex.

Not the 4th of June, silly.  I meant the 4th of July.  It’s a month away.  Take that whole week off and we’ll do something fun.  What do you say?

I’d love that.  I’m really exhausted from putting in so many hours and we both need a break.  I’m putting in that request as we text.

Great!  Love you.  See you tonight.

“Did you hear the good news?” asked Alex that night when I got home from work.

“What news?” I asked.

“My love advice worked out so well for Stefano that he and Mandy are moving in together,” he beamed.

“Really?  That’s awesome!  How did you find out?  How come I didn’t know about this?” I was just a tad bit upset that Alex knew before I did.

“He just now texted me.  Look,” he said, showing me the time of the text message.  My phone was next.  Stefano hadn’t forgotten about telling me after all.  I smiled at Alex.

Hey you!  I have great news!  Mandy and I have decided to move in together.  Your boyfriend gives awesome love advice.  Keep him!

Congrats!  I’m so happy you guys are making such a huge commitment.  Btw, why did Alex hear about this thirty seconds before I did?  Couldn’t you have texted me first?  Just kidding.  Miss you guys!

Thanks!  Sorry about that.  I was so excited and he’s been giving me some kick ass advice, so I immediately thought about him first.  Won’t happen again, friend!  Miss you guys too!

Alex sighed, “I wish we could move in together.”

“We already live together, Alex.  We just go back and forth from one place to another.  Together.”

“I know, baby.  I’m just teasing,” he winked.

“I’m sure you can come up with more exciting ways of teasing me,” I grinned.

He put down his cell phone and walked toward me, with one eyebrow raised, and a sly smile forming at the corners of his lips.  “I can think of one or two ways, I guess.”  With his fingers in the belt loops of my slacks, he pulled me closer to him.  “But I’m not sure if you can handle that much teasing.”

My heart rate quickened, “Try me,” I whispered.

He leaned in closer, his lips a centimeter away from mine, but pulled away before kissing me.  He lowered his lips to my neck as his warm breath lingered on the nape of my neck and ear lobe, without touching me.  I longed for his lips on my skin.

He slowly began unbuttoning my blouse as it landed on the floor.  My belt was next – the slowest unbuckling you could ever imagine.  After I lost every item of clothing to the floor, I grabbed a hold of his jeans and began to unzip it.

Alex put his hands on mine, “No,” he said and took my hands off.

“Why are you doing this to me, Alex?” I said, my heart beating in my ears.

“As I recall, you wanted to be teased,” he replied, licking his full lips.

“I think I’ve changed my mind,” I said, wanting him to throw me on the couch and finish what he started.

“Too late,” he grinned, as he got on his knees and began teasing me with his hot breath beginning from my toes and heading up to my legs, knees, and eventually my inner thighs.  Once he reached further up, his breath felt hotter as his tongue barely touched my folds.  “Spread ’em,” he commanded.

I stood there with my legs spread wider apart as he continued to tease me, barely touching me, and every time he did, I felt myself building up and ready to explode if he would just continue without stopping.  He was killing me.

“Alex, please, I can’t take it anymore,” I was panting at this point.

With that, he pressed his warm tongue hard against me, his two fingers entering me as I exploded into an orgasm.  My knees went weak, my legs began to shake and I couldn’t stand any longer.  I surprised myself at how loud I screamed.

I lay down on the area rug, as Alex removed his clothes and lay on top of me.  I had barely recovered before I felt him enter me.  I pushed toward him as he pushed himself deeper into me.  I felt it building inside of me again as I began to perspire.  His lips were finally on mine, as our tongues pushed against each other.

I climaxed around him as he spilled into me with a loud grown before collapsing on my chest.  I awakened two hours later and realized we had fallen asleep naked in the middle of my living room, on an area rug.

We showered, ate dinner, and Alex poured some wine for us to sip on out on the verandah. 

“So, have you decided where to go on our little fourth of July trip?” I asked.

“I was thinking the Hamptons,” he replied.

“Sounds nice.  What’s in the Hamptons?” I asked.  I knew the Hamptons were where the rich folks from New York went to relax over the summer and visit the beach.

“My family has a little place on the beach.  It’ll be a cozy little getaway for just the two of us,” he replied.

“That’s exactly what I want to do,” I replied.  “A visit to the spa would be enough for me.  I could make do with just a long massage to get rid of all this tension,” I said pointing to my shoulders.

“Tell you what; we will get a massage while we’re there.  I know of this really nice spa out there,” he replied.

“Sounds awesome already,” I smiled.

“Anything for you.”

Chapter 14

We landed in JFK International Airport on July second, giving us plenty of time to settle in before Independence Day.  George picked us up from the airport to drive us to the family beach house¸ which Alex informed me was about an hour and half long drive from the airport.

George looked a lot happier than the last time I had seen him.  Not that he was unhappy before, but he seemed to have an extra hop in his step.  I wondered if Maria had anything to do with it.

“Good to see you again, Miss Morgan,” he greeted.

“Likewise, George,” I smiled.

    The drive was very comfortable on the way to the Hamptons.  The weather was beautiful, clear blue sky, and not a cloud in sight.  The beautiful estates caught my attention along the way.  The manicured lawns, huge homes, and green trees surrounded by flowers that continued to bloom from the spring drew me in.  Each home was bigger and more beautiful than the previous one and each came with its own character and charm.

George slowed down in front of an enormous iron gate with the letter “B” crafted in the middle.  He inserted a number combination on the keypad and the gates began to open slowly.  A smooth paved road led us to a large white home with beautiful french windows, a black tile roof, and one of the most beautiful circular driveways I had ever seen.  He pulled up in front of the home and parked under a very fancy carport.

George opened the door for me and helped me out.  “Here we are.  Welcome to the Blake’s beach home,” he smiled.

“Beach home or beach mansion?” I looked at Alex.

He shrugged, “It’s a house on the beach, so I call it a beach house.”

“Ooookay,” I replied.

“Come.  I will give you a tour of our vacation hangout for the week,” he took my hand and opened the front door, while George brought in our suitcases.

As the front doors opened, I was taken back by the charm of the home.  Like I said, it wasn’t just a home – it was an estate – a mansion.  God only knew how many square feet it was.

The floors were covered with dark espresso wood, the walls a pure and clean white, and the furniture looked as though it was an Ethan Allen showroom.  A double staircase also included espresso wood floors.  A beautiful round glass table with a large vase and fresh flowers made up the center of the foyer.  The ceilings were vaulted so high that it made the space look gigantic.

The tour seemed endless.  There were countless rooms, countless bathrooms, and the kitchen was probably bigger than my entire condominium.  The master bedroom - or I should say one of the master bedrooms - had the largest balcony overlooking the ocean.  The top of the balcony roof was an actual bell shape, adding so much more character and charm from the outside of the home.

The backyard included a large covered patio are with an outdoor dining space.  As we walked further out, a huge grassy area and a rectangular shaped pool and Jacuzzi filled up the rest of the space.  As we passed the grass, we were immediately on the beach, our feet digging into the warm sand as the tiny waves crashed into the shore.  The property even had its own pier, which was breathtaking.  I imagined I would spend a lot of time sitting at the edge of that during our time there.

The space downstairs was very open and inviting.  I found my favorite room in the house to be the library, of course.  I thought the library in Alex’s parents’ apartment in Manhattan was a dream come true, until I met the Hamptons home library.  Floor to ceiling french windows covered the wall that led to the backyard, a large office desk planted right in front of the windows, and wall to wall books filled up the other walls of the room.  The bookshelves began from the floor and led up to the ceiling, requiring an accessible ladder so you could climb up as needed.

The other half of the library had a cozy sitting area next to a fireplace.  I imagined I would spend many hours in there as a part of my rest and relaxation time. 

“I saved this for last because I knew you wouldn’t want to see anything else after this.”

“You know me so well, Alex,” I threw my arms around his neck.

“And here is your favorite book,” he said, climbing back down from one of the ladders and handing me a copy of Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice.

“You know me better than I thought,” I said, admiring the hard cover copy of one of the best books ever written.

After a complete tour of the estate, we said our goodbyes to George as he drove off.  Alex took my hand and twirled me around in the grand foyer, pulling me towards him as he pressed his lips against mine.

“Are you hungry?” he asked.

“Famished,” I replied, kissing him again.

“I know a great seafood place,” he said.

“You do?” I teased.

“I do and I have a feeling you’re going to love it,” he replied, dipping me.  “So, you think this place will do?  Or should we find a nicer place to stay?”

I looked around, tilted my head, and shrugged.  “Hmm, I think it’ll do.  It’s not too shabby.  Although, I was thinking we could stay in a bigger place.  It’s a bit too crammed in here and there aren’t enough bedrooms.  But I don’t want to be a complainer.  It’ll do,” I smiled.

“Let’s go change,” he pulled my hand and led me upstairs.

<><><>

Of course the Blake’s had to have fabulous cars that were kept in the Hamptons.  A black Range Rover and a silver Maserati occupied two of the garage spaces.  Alex did just as I predicted he would - unlocked the Maserati and opened the passenger door.

He put the top down and played “Fever” by The Black Keys, serenading me as he sang along.  I couldn’t help my laugh.  I loved it when Alex loosened up because I knew he was having a good time and not thinking about the hospital and the stress that normally came with being a surgeon.

He pulled into a little parking lot near the boat docks and killed the engine.  The restaurant looked more like a shack.  It was named “Sam’s Seafood Shack,” which suited it perfectly.  It was packed inside and smelled really good.  It looked more run down from the outside, but it was pretty well kept on the inside, even with the creaky sounds from the wood floors.

Alex suggested we sit outside so we could enjoy the view of the water, the boats, and the sunset.

“Alex Blake?” an older man said, smiling, as he walked toward our table.

“Hi Sam,” Alex said as he stood up to give him a hug.  I assumed he was the owner.

“What a fantastic surprise.  Who’s this beauty?” he said as he looked at me.

I extended my hand, “I’m Claire.  So nice to meet you.”

“No, no.  The pleasure is all mine,” he smiled.

“Where are Matt and Mike?” asked Alex.

“I had to send them out to bring more beer.  Business has really picked up this week because of the holiday.  They should be back soon.  I will let them know you’re here.  They’re gonna be so happy to see you.”

Sam excused himself so he could take care of business.  Alex informed me that Matt and Mike were Sam’s sons.  The restaurant was a family business.  Their mother had passed away when they were teenagers, so the boys helped Sam run the restaurant.

“My spring breaks and summer vacations would never have been as awesome as they were without these guys,” he said.

The sun began to set as we enjoyed our meal.  Alex got up from his chair and sat right next to me, applying his hand on my shoulder.  I noticed he was on his third beer.

“I can’t recall the last time I saw you drinking beer, Alex,” I noted.

“I don’t know what it is about the Hamptons, but I drink a lot of beer when I’m here.  Maybe it’s the atmosphere or something.”

“I think it’s sexy,” I grinned.

His eyes lit up. “Shit, if I had known how much it turned you on, I would glue a bottle of beer to the palm of my hand.”

Just then, identical twins approached our table.  “Alex!  What a nice surprise!”  I knew immediately that they were Sam’s sons.  They looked so much like Sam – much younger versions of him.  The only difference I could see between the two was that one of them had a more prominent nose.  Alex introduced me as his girlfriend and asked them to take a seat at the empty chairs at the table.

“Did Alex tell you about all the crazy things we used to do around here?” asked Matt.

“No, he was waiting for you to fill me in,” I smiled, tilting my head toward Alex.

The boys began telling stories of the good old days.  The beers kept coming and the laughs continued.  I had a feeling I was going to do the driving if Alex didn’t slow down on the drinking.

The sun set completely and the moon shined over us and we were still there; talking, laughing, and eating while they reminisced about the fun they had as teens.

“Hey, how’s Phil?  It’s been a few months since I’ve spoken to him,” said Mike.

“He’s doing well, I guess.  He stayed at my folks’ place in Manhattan with us during New Years, but had to leave early for business.  I asked him if he wanted to come and stay with us for a night or two here.  He said he couldn’t because he has a lot going on with work,” Alex replied.

I had no idea Alex had asked Phil to stay with us during our trip.  I would have been furious to see Phil show up during our relaxing getaway.  The sound of his name made me cringe.

“Phil used to stay with us when school was out, so the four of us caused a lot of trouble around here,” Alex informed me.

I nodded and forced a smile.  Phil was everywhere.  He had been everywhere with Alex and was a big part of his life.  They had the same friends and Phil was treated as a part of his family; like a brother.  It was so disturbing to me, especially after what he pulled in Manhattan.  If it wasn’t for Maria, God only knows what he would have done to me.

“You want to get out of here?” Alex whispered into my ear.

“Only if I drive,” I replied.

Alex took the car keys out of his pocket and handed it over to me before chugging the last of the beer.  I drove slower than the speed limit.  I hated to drive someone else’s car, especially someone else’s very expensive car.  Alex led the way to the house and I safely made it into the garage.  I let out a necessary sigh of relief once I turned off the engine.

“See, we made it in one piece,” I turned to Alex.

“Thank you, baby.  Let’s go soak in the hot tub,” he said with a look in his eyes that told me he wanted to do more than just soak.

I slipped into my bikini while Alex warmed up the Jacuzzi.  He had put the champagne on ice and a platter of chocolate covered strawberries next to it.  When I approached him, he pulled the strings of my bikini and took off the top.  I held my hands over my breasts.  “Alex, what are you doing?  Someone can see me.”

“No one can see us.  It’s private,” he replied, pulling down the bottom of my bikini and escorting me into the hot water.  “We will start in here and finish in there,” he pointed to a large white draped cabana at the far end of the pool.  “I have a surprise for you in there.”

“A surprise?  What kind of a surprise?” I asked.

“If I tell you then it won’t be a surprise anymore.  You just have to promise you will trust me,” he said.

“Trust you?  What are you going to do to me in there, Alex?” I asked with a half smile filled with a bit of worry across my face.

“Nothing you’re not going to like,” he grinned, feeding me a chocolate covered strawberry and handing me a glass of champagne.  “To us.”

“To us,” I cheered.

“Are you having a good time?” he asked.

“I sure am, Alex.  This house is so amazing that I feel like I’m in a resort.  I could spend our entire vacation right here and have a blast.”

“The best part about this place is that we can enjoy the firework show from here.  We don’t need to go anywhere.  It’s right there over the water,” he pointed to where we would see the firework show on Independence Day.

“Sounds amazing,” I managed to say before his lips pressed hard against mine.  He took the champagne glass from me and set it aside.  His lips came at me again and this time I parted my lips to allow his tongue to push against mine.  I could taste the champagne and strawberries he had just had.

The water in the hot tub had become so hot that I stood up.  Alex stood up also, with only the bottom half of our bodies in the hot water.  He cupped my breasts as he kissed my neck, slowly working his way down to my nipples, his tongue moving in circles around them.

He got out of the hot tub and held his hand out for me to grab onto and I used the steps to get out as well.  I could feel my skin recovering after being in that extremely hot water for quite some time.

We walked over to the large cabana draped in all white.  The curtains were pulled so I couldn’t see inside.  Alex stopped me before I stepped in.  “I have to put this on you,” he said, holding up a black blindfold with dark red stitching around the border.

“Blindfold me?  Should I be worried or excited?” I asked.

“Excited.  You should be very excited,” he said, planting gentle soft kisses on the back of my neck as he tightened the blindfolds so tight that there was no way I would be able to peek.

He took my hand and helped me inside the cabana.  “Tell me what you smell.”

“It smells sweet like fruit,” I replied as I inhaled.

“Ok.  Good,” he said.

“Did you cook for me?” I asked, chuckling.

Alex laughed, “No, I didn’t cook anything.  The only cooking I will be doing in here is with you.”

I felt him move from behind me to in front of me.  His warm lips barely touched mine as I only felt his breath on my lips.  I felt his fingertips on my shoulders as they gently made their way to my collarbone and slowly down to my breasts.  I felt him walk around me as he stood behind me, cupping my breasts, pinching my nipples and moving his soft hands down to my naval and finally between my thighs.

I could feel his pressing against me from behind as his tongue moved up and down my ear lobe, sending shivers down my spine.  He carried me and lay me down on what felt like a bed with satin sheets.  I loved this blindfold business.  I loved not being able to see what I was next and to only feel.  Everything seemed more pleasurable and the anticipation was so much more exciting.

He took a firm hold of my hands from the wrists and I felt him tie one of them to what felt like a bedpost.

“What are you doing?” I asked, my heart beginning to race.

“I’m going to please you,” he replied as he tied my other wrist tightly to what felt like another post.

“No! Untie me!” I said.

“Baby, you’re going to love it.  Trust me,” he said.

“Untie me now, Alex!” I shouted.

“I’m not going to do anything you don’t want me t-”

“No!” I screamed as I pulled hard at the restraints on my wrist, trying to pull them off, but they were too tight.  I began kicking, but he wasn’t there for me to kick.  “Untie me now, Alex!  And remove these stupid blindfolds!” I screamed even louder.

“Okay, okay.  I didn’t realize you may not like it,” he untied my wrists and I pulled off the blindfold quickly.

“Never.  Do.  That.  Again,” I warned him and charged back to the chair next to the hot tub and slipped on a robe.

He followed me with a puzzled look on his face, “Claire, I’m sorry,” he said, as he slipped wrapped a towel around his waist.  “I was just trying to have some fun,” he noted.

“Fun?  Fun?  That’s fun to you?  Here’s some new for you, buddy: being tied up is not fun for me because the last time I was tied up, I was raped!” I was surprised by my own rage.

“Don’t you trust me by now?” he asked.

“Not when you tie me up.  I can’t trust anyone who puts me in that position,” I said before I ran inside and up the stairs.  I needed a warm shower and a comfortable bed.

I headed to the master bedroom where George had set our bags.  I closed and locked the bathroom door so I could take a shower in peace - without the fear that Alex may decide to come in and tie me to the showerhead.  Was I overreacting?

I closed the water and wrapped a new towel around me.  When I opened the door, Alex was standing behind it.  “Why did you lock this door?” he asked.

“So you wouldn’t come in,” I confessed.

“Why didn’t you want me to come in?  Did you think I was going to hurt you?” he asked, narrowing his eyebrows.

“No,” I replied.

He raised his voice. “If you didn’t think I was going to hurt you, then why did you lock the door?”

“I don’t know.  Maybe I wanted to shower alone.  Maybe I didn’t want you to come in here and apologize and make it better so you could play the tie-up game again.  I don’t know, Alex,” I replied, confused.

“Believe me, Claire, I will never tie you again.  I’ve learned my lesson,” he said bluntly and headed into the bathroom, locking the door behind him.  I heard the shower water turn on and grabbed a pair of panties and a camisole.  I slipped into those and made my way into bed.

I must have drifted off to sleep because when I opened my eyes, it was past midnight.  Alex wasn’t in bed next to me.  I noticed a light on downstairs and figured he must be down there.  I followed the light, which led into the library.  Alex was sitting at the large office desk with this laptop in front of him.

“Hey,” I said, as he looked up startled.

“I thought you were sleeping,” he continued his typing.

“I was until I noticed you weren’t next to me,” I replied.

“Is that so?” he asked.

“Come to bed, Alex, so we could finish what we started.  Unless you would like to finish it on this desk,” I touched the large desk with the palm of my hand.  Alex closed the laptop and pushed it aside, pulling into his lap.  He kissed me hard, moaning into my mouth.  He pulled down my panties and I pulled off his shorts, sitting on his erection as the big leather office chair rocked back and forth.

He stood up and I found myself with my back on the desk as he pushed himself deeper into me.  I tightened myself around him as he penetrated deeper and quicker as we came together, moaning.

In bed, I lay my head on his chest feeling a sense of comfort as he played with my hair.  My fingers gently gliding on his chest as his heartbeat filled my ears.

“I have a confession to make,” I began.

“Let’s hear it,” he replied.

“I liked it when you blindfolded me,” I confessed.

“Really?  You did?” he asked, excitement in his voice.

“It was exciting; not being able to see, but only able to feel.”

“That’s good to know for next time,” I could hear a grin in his tone.  “You want to know why I will never tie you again?” he asked.

“Mm hmm.”

“Because you won’t be able to touch me like this.  I love it when you touch me,” he said, taking my hand and kissing it.

I smiled, “I love you, Alex.”

<><><>

I was awakened by the sound of Alex’s cell phone alarm.  “Wake up, Sleeping Beauty.  Time to rise and shine and make it on time to our spa day,” he noted.  My eyelids were too heavy and did not want to open.

“Ten more minutes,” I managed to say.

“Come on, baby.  You wanted a massage, so I booked it,” he nuzzled my neck in an attempt to bring me back from the dead.

“Okay, okay.  Did you say massage?  And a spa day?” I felt myself slowly coming back to life.

“Yes, so we have to get out of bed now, grab a bite from the kitchen and get out of here,” he said.

I pulled myself out of bed, brushed my teeth, threw on a pair of shorts and a tank top and was downstairs in no time.  I was excited about that massage I was promised.

Alex was already in the garage standing next to the passenger side door of the Range Rover before I was finished with my granola bar.

“I’m coming, Alex.  Hold your horses, jeez,” I said, climbing into the seat.

“I should’ve started waking you up thirty minutes sooner,” he said.

“You’re such a surgeon, Alex.  You’re always on time.  You’re always in control,” I shook my head, chuckling.

“Whatever,” he replied, glaring at me with the corner of his eye as he drove.  He pulled up in front of a fancy spa called Carrington Montgomery Luxury Day Spa.

“Looks very fancy,” I noted.

“I hope it’s to your expectation, Miss Morgan,” he replied.

“I’m sure it’ll do,” I said as I got out of the car.

The woman at the front desk notified us that our massage wasn’t for another hour.  She gave me a robe, slippers, and escorted me to the women’s area to my locker.  I slipped into my bikini, poured myself a cucumber and orange flavored water, and took a dip in the hot water while I waited to be called for our couples massage.

“Claire Morgan,” I heard a woman’s voice announcing it was time for my massage.  Alex was already in the massage room, waiting for me.  “Take everything off, Miss Morgan, and lie down here covered with this towel and your masseuse will be right with you.

“Take it all off, baby,” Alex’s dirty mind took over.  I disrobed as he did the same and we waited for our masseuse.

Alex kept talking to me during the massage.  I didn’t want to make conversation, I just wanted to enjoy my two-hour massage and fall asleep through it.  That was exactly what I did - fell asleep.

“Claire, baby, wake up,” Alex tapped on my shoulder.  I opened my eyes to see he was standing, already in his robe.

“I slept like a baby.  That was the best massage I have ever had, Alex,” I confessed.

He smiled, “I will take her name down so you can ask for her next time.”

We left the spa feeling so relaxed and refreshed.  I hadn’t felt that good in years.  Alex took me around town to have a quick lunch before heading over to the Montauk Point Light, which I really wanted to see while in East Hampton.  Alex paid the fee for us to go inside and up to the top.  What a gorgeous view it had from the top of the lighthouse.

“It’s the fourth oldest active lighthouse in the US,” Alex noted.  “If we’re done here, I’d like to take you shopping.”

“Shopping?  In the Hamptons?” I asked.

“No, in London,” he joked.

“But the shops are so exclusive, Alex.”

“That’s exactly why we’re going,” he grinned.

“Okay.  But I don’t want anything.  We’ll just walk around,” I replied.  Alex laughed.

A few hours later, the Range Rover was full with things I did not need.  Alex didn’t know how to control himself when it came to shopping.

“Do you know how fortunate you are that you have money?” I asked him as I looked back at the endless bags filling the back of the large vehicle.

“Fortunate are those who have love, not money,” he corrected.

“No, you’re wrong.  Fortunate are those who have good health.  You should know that – you’re a doctor, Alex.”

“I should know better than to argue with you.  You’re right baby.  Fortunate are those who are in good health,” he smiled as he pulled into the garage.

Chapter 15

Alex planned a quiet dinner for two at the house, which he would be cooking.  I stayed home while he went grocery shopping for the necessary items on his gourmet dinner list.  I took another tour of the huge home and admired the beautiful family pictures taken throughout the years.  One really caught my attention; it was of Alex and Melissa on the beach, splashing each other with water.  They looked like they were laughing hysterically as they played.  There were many photos of Alex’s parents – some pictures were taken with people I did not recognize.

Above the fireplace in the living room was an oil painting of the four of them.  His parents were very young in this painting and Melissa didn’t look more than two or three years old.  On the mantle I noticed a picture of an older couple that I assumed were his grandparents.  The man looked very distinguished and the woman very elegant and beautiful.

After I took the photo tour, I grabbed a book from the library and curled up on the recliner and began to read.  Suddenly the speakers turn on as “Old Time Rock and Roll” began to play.  Alex slid into the library wearing only a white button-up shirt, white briefs, and dark sunglasses entertaining me with Tom Cruise’s dance in the movie Risky Business.

I laughed, covering my eyes with my hands for a second, then opening them again.  I couldn’t believe how well he was reenacting that scene with all the pelvic thrusts.  He grabbed one of the fire sticks next to the fireplace and used it as a guitar as he jumped on the coffee table, continuing to thrust his hip toward me before jumping and landing on the recliner next to me.

I couldn’t help but laugh with tears streaming from my eyes. “Oh, Alex, that was too much.  You are such a dork and I love that about you.  Where is all this coming from?” I asked, as he laughed with me.

“I’m happy.  I’m on vacation.  I’m with you.  This is the real me, by the way,” he confessed.

“I love this real you.  Let’s take this real you home to LA.  Can we?” I asked.

“Nah.  This only happens when I’m out of town.”

“Maybe we should live out of town,” I replied.  “When did you even come home?  I didn’t hear you.”

“I snuck in quietly and went up to change.  Now I have groceries to get out of the car.  I’ll be back,” he said, wiggling his butt in front of me as he danced on his way out of the library.

“You may want to put some pants on,” I called after him.

“The neighbors need binoculars to see my ass,” he winked.

“You’re a dork, Alex.”

<><><>

It was a perfect day to take a dip in the pool and that was exactly what Alex and I did.  “Ready for that margarita?” he asked.

“Oh yeah.  Make it strong, please,” I replied.

“How strong do you want it?  I don’t want you passing out before the firework show.”

“Okay, fine.  Make it medium,” I adjusted my sunglasses and continued to work on my tan.

Alex returned with a strawberry margarita and a sandwich.  “We have a few hours before dinner.  You need something to absorb the alcohol.  Cheers,” he said, raising his scotch on the rocks to my glass. 

“To us and this amazing vacation,” I said.

“If you think this is amazing, what will you think about the rest of the world?” he asked.

“I’d have to see it to answer that question,” I smiled.

“I’m going to take you as many places in this world as I possibly can.”

“And I can hardly wait,” I replied, setting down half of the sandwich to eat later.

My cell phone rang just as I dove into the pool.  I rushed back out and quickly answered.  It was my mother.

“Hi honey, how are things in the fabulous Hamptons?”

“Hi, mom.  It’s as fabulous as you say it is, I suppose.”

“Just wanted to see how you were doing.  Are you two staying somewhere nice?” she asked.

“Oh yeah, the Blake’s have this huge mansion here.  It’s totally amazing.  I think there are at least twenty bedrooms,” I whispered.

“Oh my!  I guess it’s not a small beach house like we imagined it would be.  You guys have a great time.  We love you and miss you.  See you soon.”

“Love you too, mom.  See you.”  I pressed end and headed back into the cool water.  I wanted to swim a few laps before I had to shower and get ready for dinner.

<><><>

Alex had outdone himself once again.  He set a table for two in the back of the house, overlooking the beach.  Two candles were lit in the center of the small, square table.  He kept going back and forth, serving the appetizers, salad, main course, and finally a red, white and blue layer cake he had made himself.

“This is beautiful, Alex.  I didn’t know you could bake so well,” I said, impressed by his baking skills.

“I’m not good at baking, but I can get away with it every now and then.”

The sun began to set and soon it was nice and dark.  Alex set up two chairs right on the private pier so we could watch the fireworks from there.  It looked like the perfect spot.  He headed back to the house and returned with two blankets so we didn’t get cold out there by the water.

The dark sky began to light up with colorful explosions as the Fourth of July celebrations began.  One after another, leaving no time in between made the show even more spectacular.  I had seen many firework shows, but none as exciting as that night.

After the show came to an end, we headed back to the patio.  Alex pulled out a Cuban cigar from his pocket and lit it up.  “I need a drink.  What do you want me to make for you, baby?”

“I’ll take a cranberry and vodka, but only if the bartender promises to sleep with me tonight,” I winked.

“I’m sure we can work something out,” he smiled, turned around and headed to the bar to make our drinks.  Alex took forever to return with our drinks.  I was about to go inside and check on him before he appeared.

“What happened, Alex?  I thought you got lost in that big house,” I laughed.

“I was just looking for the cranberry juice,” he replied.

“The cranberry juice was on the door of the fridge.”

“I know, I looked at it, but didn’t actually see it.  Get it?”

“You sound just like my dad, Alex.  It must be a common thing for men to look at something and not see it.”

“Drink up, baby.  I put a lot of work into that drink.”

I took a big sip and gagged.  “Jesus!  It’s so strong.  Is there any cranberry juice in here at all?”

“Yeah, baby.  I put plenty in there.  I’ll go get some more,” he said and disappeared for another ten minutes.  I was beginning to lose interest in drinking.

“Did you get lost again,” I asked when he returned with a different shirt on.

“I’m sorry.  I spilled some cranberry juice on my shirt,” he said.  “I think I’m just so tired from all the swimming and cooking.  Maybe we should turn in a bit early tonight,” he said.

“Thanks for dinner, Alex.  You didn’t have to do it all by yourself.  I could have helped.”

“Why don’t you go on up. I will be there in a minute.  I’m just going to lock up down here,” he said.

I took the stairs up to the master suite.  I noticed some flickering candlelight as I approached the double doors.  I followed the one candle that was lit on top of the dresser.  I noticed an open book with a diamond ring propped up in the center of the book.  In that dark, candlelit room, the way the light cast from the candle made a shadow of a heart over the open pages of the book.  It was a book of poems, opened to my favorite poem by E.E. Cummings, I Carry Your Heart With Me.

Before I could even comprehend what was going on, Alex opened the drapes with a remote control to reveal what was on the balcony.  Dark red rose petals laced with candles made up the words, “marry me,” on the entire floor of the large balcony.  The fireworks began again, this time even more colorful and much closer. Another surprise awaited in the sky as the fireworks were for me.  The colorful sparks of, “marry me,” filled the dark sky.

Alex got down on one knee, taking both of my hands into his as his eyes locked with mine.  “Claire, you must know by now how much I love and adore you.  You are an angel sent from above.  I want your beautiful face to be the last thing I see each night before I fall asleep and the first thing I see when I open my eyes each morning.  I want to grow old with you.  I want to give you everything that I am – everything that I have, if you’ll be my best friend, my partner, my wife, and the mother of my children.  I love you more than you know, Claire.  Will you make me the happiest man in the world and say you’ll marry me?” His hands were clammy and I could feel him trembling as he held my hands in his.

I nodded as tears began to build up in my eyes, “Yes,” I managed to say with a cracked, less than audible voice.

“Yes?” his eyes lit up.

“Yes!  Of course I’ll marry you, Alex,” I said as he stood up and slipped the ring onto my finger.  The center stone was a round canary yellow diamond, surrounded by white diamonds all around.  It had to be at least a five or six karat center stone.  It was the perfect fit on my finger, too.

He lifted me up as his lips locked with mine.  “I swear I’m going to do everything I can to make you the happiest woman in this world,” he promised.

“You’ve already done that, Alex.  I can’t believe how much trouble you went through.  Trying to hide all this must not have been easy.  Is that why you were so nervous downstairs?  Spilling cranberry juice on yourself and everything?” I giggled.

“Well, I didn’t really spill anything on myself.  I just needed an excuse to prepare all this and make sure it went as planned.”

“It was beautiful.  How did you know that poem is my favorite one?” I asked.

“I didn’t.  That’s my favorite poem,” he replied.

“What else don’t I know about you, Alex?” I asked as I wrapped my arms around him, my face on his chest.

I took another look at the gorgeous rock on my finger.  “This has to be the most beautiful ring I have ever seen,” I confessed.

“It looks great on your finger.  I hope you like it.  I was a little anxious picking it out.  I wanted it to be up to your standards.”

“Up to my standards?  Really?  This ring is so bling it exceeds my standards.  I may blind someone just by waving at them,” I chuckled.  “I love you, Alex.”

“I love you more, Claire.  I’m the happiest man on earth.  I was so afraid you’d say no”.

“Why?” I asked, curiously.

“I was afraid you would react like that one time I joked about making a baby.  Remember how you freaked out – how pissed off you were because you weren’t ready”?

“Oh, come on, Alex.  We had just started sleeping together and you had this crazy idea about making a baby.  Of course I freaked out,” I widened my eyes at him. My face softened, “This is different.  This feels like the right step at the right time.”

“I’m too hyped up to sleep.  Let’s go downstairs and have a few more drinks,” he said, taking my hand and walking toward the double doors.

“I thought you were really tired,” I replied.

“I had to get you upstairs somehow,” he winked.

“I’m going to take a selfie of us and title it, ‘I said yes,’ and text everyone first thing in the morning,” I said.

Alex chuckled, “Sounds like a plan.  How would you like me to pose?”

“With that sexy smile that brings out your blue eyes,” I replied.

“Anything for you, baby.  I’ll grab the bottle of Cristal.”

<><><>

When I opened my eyes in the morning, Alex was still asleep next to me.  I watched him sleep, his chest rising and falling with each breath.  He looked so peaceful and handsome with his perfectly chiseled jaw and long eyelashes.  I could definitely spend eternity waking up to such a sight.

His eyelids began to move as he slowly awakened from that peaceful state he was in.  His eyes locked with mine and he smiled, revealing the dimple in his cheek I was so crazy about.  “Good morning, soon to be Mrs. Blake,” he said as he applied his hand on my waist and pulled me closer to him.

“Don’t get so ahead of yourself.  I may just keep my own last name.  Morgan isn’t so bad, is it?” I raised an eyebrow.  “So, you like poetry, you can dance like Tom Cruise, and you have enough power to say what you want with fireworks.  Is there anything else you’d like to tell me about yourself?” I asked.

“Only that I’m taking you on a little boat ride today,” he replied, his thumb moving back and forth on my cheekbone.

“Really?  You should know that I get sea sick rather quickly,” I informed him.

“Don’t worry about that.  I can give you something for that.  I’m a doctor, remember?”

“Thanks for reminding me.  I tend to forget that minor detail from time to time,” I rolled my eyes.

“Don’t roll your eyes at me.  They’re going to be stuck back there,” he said.

“I’ll take my chances.  I’m going to marry a doctor,” I chuckled.

“Not a surgeon?” he corrected.

“Oh yeah, that’s right.  He’s a surgeon.  I’m going to marry a surgeon – a reconstructive plastic surgeon,” I noted.

“He sounds like a stud,” he laughed, pulling me out of bed.  “We have to get up, baby.  We’re expected to be by the boat before nine o’clock, so we can have an entire day at sea,” he stole a kiss before heading for the shower.

“I’ll pack my suntan lotion,” I said to myself as I put together some things I would need for a day on a boat.  I sent the picture of Alex and I to the people close to me, announcing our newly engaged status.  Less than a minute later, my mother called.

“Congratulations, honey!  I want the details when you get back.  Alex was so sweet when he asked for our blessing.  That looks like one beautiful engagement ring.  I can’t wait to see it,” she said.

“Thanks, mom.  We’re taking a boat ride today.  I hope I don’t get sea sick,” I chuckled.

“You’ll be fine, sweetheart.  Just look at the horizon and you won’t get queasy,” she advised.

I got another call on the other line.  “Mom, I have to go.  Katherine’s calling on the other line,” I said and switched lines.  It was getting difficult keeping up with all the calls and the texts.  I let everyone know that I would be at sea all day and will not have any frequency out there.  I still managed to take a five-minute shower before heading out.

<><><>

“What’s all this?” I asked Alex as he packed the Range Rover with a picnic basket and what looked like a gym bag.

“I just brought some food and champagne.  We have to eat, right?  And what if I spill something on my shirt?  I’ll need to change into something else,” he said.  I was glad I packed quite a few things for myself as well.  My mind was still on the motion sickness I had.  I prayed I didn’t get sick and vomit everywhere.  I could totally see that happening to me.

Alex parked the car near the boat docking area and opened the door for me to get out.  It was a fresh day with clear skies – perfect weather to be on a boat with the one you love.

We approached a very large boat – wait, it wasn’t just a boat.  It looked like a yacht.  A yacht named Isabelle.  It all began to sink in; this was the Blake’s family yacht.  Why else would it be named Isabelle after his mother?

“Alex, as I recall you said we were to go on a little boat ride,” I reminded him.

“Yeah, that’s what I said, baby,” he replied.

“This isn’t a little boat.  This is a yacht with your mother’s name on it.  Do you care to explain?”

“Okay, it’s not a little boat.  It’s a yacht and it’s my family yacht.  And yes, it’s named after my mother because my father wanted to name it Isabelle.  Now, lets hop on it and enjoy our day.  I want you to meet Captain Ron,” he pulled my hand and helped me onto the beauty.

Captain Ron was standing on the deck, waiting for us.  “Good morning, Captain,” Alex greeted.  “This is my fiancé, Claire,” he introduced us.

“Good morning.  So nice to meet you, young lady,” he shook my hand.  Captain Ron was a tall, lean man with salt and pepper hair.  He looked so distinguished and proper.  I knew we would be in good hands with him taking the wheel.  He offered to take me on a tour of the yacht, but Alex said he would do it himself.

“I’ll show Claire around,” he said.

“Very well then.  You know where to find me if you need me.  You two enjoy this lovely day at sea,” he tipped his head.

Alex took my hand and helped me down quite a few steps to the living room of the yacht.  It was so roomy that I didn’t even realize we were on a boat.  There were beautiful black leather sofas and a big screen television, a bar area, a dining area, and a kitchen.  A narrow hallway led to a bedroom with a king size bed, bathroom with decent size shower and vanity.  Everything was made from lacquered modern wood and leather.  It hardly even looked used.

We headed back upstairs and outside the yacht.  There were several sitting areas and sunbathing areas outside.  “I don’t think I will be getting sick on this thing,” I assured Alex.

“You won’t, baby.  It’s a very smooth ride,” he said, removing my cover up and exposing my bikini.

“I-I wasn’t going to take that off just yet,” I said.

“You’re not going to need it.  Besides, it’s getting a little too hot,” he grinned.

I retrieved my cover up quickly, “Well, I’m hungry and a little cold,” I put it back on and crossed my arms over my chest.

Alex laughed, “Okay, okay, I’ll feed you.”  He took out bagels and cream cheese from the picnic basket he had brought from the house.

I took a bite of the bagel, “So, Dr. Blake, is this where you bring all your dates?  Do you impress them with this beautiful yacht?” I asked nonchalantly.

“Only after they say yes to my marriage proposal,” he said.

“Is that when you brought Angela here?  After she said yes to you?” I asked.

“Can we talk about something else?” he looked uneasy talking about his past with Angela.

“Sure.  Sorry,” I replied.  “But for the record, no woman has gone missing while on this yacht with you, right?” I joked.

He smiled, “No.  Not yet.”

“I guess there’s a first time for everything,” I replied as I finished eating the entire bagel.

“The sunset is going to be really nice from here,” he said, gazing out into the horizon.

“My mom called earlier.  She was really excited about the proposal.  She congratulated us and told me how cute you were when you asked them if you could have my hand,” I said.

“I was afraid your father would say it was too soon, you know, considering all the stuff that’s happened,” he said.

“Do your parents know we’re engaged, Alex?” I asked.

“Not yet.”

“When do you plan on telling them?”

“I’ll call them later,” he looked down.

“Do you think they’ll be happy?  You mother doesn’t like me.  She wants you to go back to Angela,” I said.

“I don’t care about anybody’s opinion.  I’m happy and you’re happy.  Nothing else is of any importance to me,” he replied bluntly.  “You shouldn’t care either.”

“I just want everyone to be happy, Alex.  I don’t want any tension, that’s all.”

“There won’t be, baby.  And if there is, I will block out all the negative energy from our lives,” he clarified.

We talked for hours out there on the deck as the yacht glided on the smooth, dark blue water.  I finally took off the cover up and decided to catch some sun.  I loved the way the warm sun felt on my body as it soaked it in.

After a while, I realized I had had enough outdoor time and needed to head inside the yacht.  It was nice and cool in the dining area.  Alex fixed us a drink; a cranberry and vodka for me and a rum and coke for himself.  The first drink didn’t seem to do anything to me, but the second one seemed to make an impact.

Alex was seated right next to me.  He was so close, I could feel him breathing on my neck.  I felt his lips gently touch my neck.  His breath was so warm and moist it sent a tingle down my spine.  I turned my head to face him as our lips met.  I parted mine a little, allowing his tongue to move into my mouth and move in circles around mine.

He grabbed the back of my head, pulling me closer to him as he kissed me ever so passionately.  The heat between us and the alcohol in my blood stream made my heart race.  He stood up and pulled me up with him. 

I followed him to the bedroom, where he shut and locked the cabin door behind us.  He had set the gym bag that he brought from the house in that room.  He dug his hand inside and pulled out the blindfold from the other night.

“You’re going to blindfold me?” I asked.

“You told me you liked it, remember?”

“I did.  I do.  What are you going to do to me?  Promise you won’t tie me,” I said, my heart racing.

“No, baby.  I promise I won’t tie you.  Trust me,” he replied, turning me around and applying the blindfold on my eyes as he tied it so tightly that I wouldn’t be able to peek.

I must have tensed up a bit.

“Just relax, baby.  I’m not going to do anything you don’t want me to.  I promise.”

I inhaled deeply as he untied my bikini top and removed it along with the bottom.  I stood there naked as I could feel Alex behind me.  He swept my hair away from my neck as he planted a soft, warm kiss on the back of my neck, traveling down to my shoulder.  His hand moved to my collarbone and down to my breast as he cupped it with his hand.  I felt his hand move lower as it headed toward my naval.  I could feel his hardness press against the small of my back.

I felt him walk around and stand in front of me, as I could feel his breath on my forehead, traveling down to my cheekbone just below the bottom of the blindfold.  His lifted my chin up with his hand as his lips met mine so delicately it was as though he never even touched them, only traced them.  I felt myself being lifted and my back was soon against the silky bed.  The anticipation was killing me.  What was he going to do next?

Goose bumps covered my body as his fingertips traveled from my neck to my breasts, down to my naval and headed lower, as they came to a halt between my thighs.  I heard something pop open and a warm liquid dripped against my skin, most of it being applied between my thighs.  It smelled sweet like fruit.

His fingers spread the liquid all over me down there as he rubbed and rubbed, making it warmer.  I felt his fingers enter me as his tongue moved in circles.  I felt myself burning up - my ears, my face, and my chest.  My heart was pounding hard as his fingers moved deeper and his tongue moved faster.

“I want you inside me,” I said, panting.

“Not yet,” he replied.

“Please, Alex,” I begged.

“I said not yet.”

As he continued to pleasure me, I felt as though I was going to explode.  I knew I wouldn’t last another minute.  I felt an orgasm building up inside of me as I let out a loud moan, convulsing around his fingers and his tongue.

I was so exhausted when Alex turned me over onto my stomach and poured a bunch of that warm liquid on my back and began to massage me.  His hands moved so gently and smoothly on my skin that I fell asleep instantly.  When I woke up, I was on my back, still blindfolded and extremely aroused as I felt him move inside of me.

I couldn’t see; I could only smell and taste, which made everything so much more enjoyable and unexpected.

“I love you,” he whispered into my ear as his gentle thrusts awakened my desire for him once again.  His lips tasted sweet and I felt the sweat from his forehead on my neck.  We came together as he poured into me, moaning into my mouth.

<><><>

We had fallen asleep for hours in each other’s arms for so many hours that when we awakened, it was time to view the sunset.  We dressed and went back up on the deck.  I was famished, as it had been hours since I ate the bagel.

Alex brought quite a bit of food from the yacht’s kitchen and we found ourselves eating so quickly, as though the food was going to run away from us.  “I wish we could do this every day,” he said.

“Don’t I wish, too,” I replied, as I gazed into the sunset and realized I did not get seasick on that yacht.  Not even for a second.

“I guess a yacht is the only way you can ever travel by sea, my love,” Alex joked.

“You have spoiled me beyond imagination, Alex.”

“And it’s only the beginning,” he smiled, his crystal blue eyes sparkling from the reflection of the sea.

“So, should we have a summer wedding?  Or should we get married in the spring?  How about fall?  Do you want to have a big wedding?” I was full of questions for Alex.

“Whenever and whichever your little heart desires.  You point your beautiful finger and consider it done,” he promised.

“Did you and Angela have a big wedding?” I asked.

“Yes,” he answered shortly.

“How big?” I pressed.

“Approximately five-hundred people,” he replied.

My mouth opened, “Five-hundred people?  That’s a bit too much, no?”

“Way too many people.  Less intimate,” he said.

“Then I want a much smaller wedding.  Less than half of that,” I said.  “Was the wedding in New York?”

“Yes,” he answered.

“Then we will get married in LA,” I said.

“Definitely an LA wedding,” he replied.

“It just hit me, Alex,” I said, holding my hand in front of me and admiring my ring.  “I’m going to spend forever with you.”

“When a man loves a woman as much as I love you, forever doesn’t even sound long enough,” he replied.  How could I ever fall out of love with such a man?

Chapter 16

Captain Ron brought the Isabelle home and docked it safely.  Alex and I gathered our belongings, thanked the captain, and got off of the beautiful yacht.  On the drive home, I wanted to pick his brain about his love for poems, but it didn’t take long enough to get to the house.

“We should shower and change into something nice.  I made dinner reservations at a great restaurant.  I hope you like modern French Mediterranean cuisine,” he said.

“If you picked it out, I’m sure it’s spectacular, Alex.”

I jumped in the shower as soon as I got home and washed off all the oil Alex had applied on my back and other parts of my body.  I wore a new white Dolce and Gabbana dress Alex purchased during our shopping spree.  A gold chain made up the straps and the belt was also a gold chain.  It went beautifully with my Jimmy Choo strappy gold sandals.  I was glad I had gotten a nice bronze tan from our day on the yacht.

Alex could easily pose for an East Hampton GQ magazine with his white linen pants matching shirt, gripping tightly around his arm muscles and chest.  He, too, had gotten sun kissed to perfection.

He parked the Maserati in front of a restaurant, which looked like a white house.  Lafayette Cuisine it was named, which I thought was such a catchy name for a French restaurant located in one of the most prestigious areas in the country.

Everything was white inside; the tables, chairs, table covers, and walls.  A few large copper chandeliers hanging from the ceiling were so dimly lit, adding more of a romantic feel to the place.  Cobalt blue wine glasses decorated the tables as the color stood out so well.  To make it even cozier, a fireplace sat right next to the bar area, finely crafted with all white from top to bottom.

“Right this way, Monsieur Blake.  Mademoiselle,” bowed the host as he escorted us to a table next to a window.  Alex surprised me when he ordered in French, most likely choosing the best wine, appetizers, entrees, and desserts on the menu.

“So, tell me, Alex.  Tell me about your love for poetry,” I said.

“What would you like to know, baby?” he replied, reaching across the small table and taking hold of my hands, his blue eyes sparkling in that dim restaurant.

“When did you start to like poetry?  Is it something you’ve always had a thing for?” I asked.

He took a sip of wine, gazing into my eyes before I set the glass down.  “After Larry died, I was really depressed.  I found myself writing a lot - poetry, songs, and stories here and there.  It made me feel better and less depressed to get it all off my chest and put it down in writing.  That book of poetry back at the house is mine,” he confessed.

“Really?  So, where are the poems you wrote? Can I see them?” I was dying from curiosity.

He smiled, looking down.  “They’re locked up in a safe place.  I haven’t shared them or showed anyone.”

“No one?” I asked.

“Not a soul,” he replied.

“Not even Angela?” I had to ask, of course.

“Nope.  Not even Angela.”

“Will you show me?” I asked, taking my chances.

He chuckled, “I shouldn’t have told you.”

“Please, Alex,” I pleaded.

“Maybe someday.  But until then, let’s drop the subject.”

“Easier said than done,” I recited.

“To us,” he cheered, ignoring my comment.  “To our future together and the beautiful memories we will make.  To flat tires, because if it wasn’t for your flat tire, we probably wouldn’t be sitting here today.”

“To flat tires,” I repeated, raising my wine glass to his.  I took a sip of the wine, which had the perfect amount of dryness I loved.  After I set my glass down, the butterflies in my stomach fluttered around as it really began to sink in that I was going to marry Alex.  It felt surreal.

A blond woman smiled from ear to ear as she walked over to our table.  “Well, if it isn’t Alex Blake!” she put her hand on Alex’s shoulder.  Who was she and why was she touching him?

Alex had a surprised look on his face when he looked up and saw her.  “Jenny.  How are you doing?” he got up to give her a hug.  “I’d like you to meet my fiancé, Claire,” he introduced me.

I stood up and extended my hand, “It’s nice to meet you, Jenny.”  Who was she?  I looked at Alex, requiring a formal introduction of who this woman was.  She was very pretty – tall, slim, tan, with Heather Locklear hair.  She wasn’t very young, though.  She looked like she was well into her forties, but looked amazing for her age.  “Harold,” she called to the man she was with a few tables over.  “Honey, come here.  I want you to meet someone.”

The man stood up and walked over to her with his tall, lean body and salt and pepper hair.  He had very deep dark tanned skin and bright green eyes.  “Honey, this is Alex.  His father Richard - Dr. Blake - and I used to work together in the hospital many years ago.  I’ve known Alex since he was very young.”

No, this couldn’t be the secretary his father had an affair with, could it?  My thoughts were keeping me quite occupied and making it difficult to concentrate on the conversation around me.

Jenny realized she was taking too much of our alone, newly engaged time.  “Tell your father I said hello when you see him.  Gosh, it’s been such a long time.  How is he doing?  How is your mother and your sister, Melissa?” she was asking way too many questions.

After she went back to her table, I was dying for Alex to fill me in on the details.  Was this woman his secretary or not?  “It’s a small world,” he said, with an uncomfortable smile on his face as he pitched a fork into his tuna tar-tar.

When our dessert arrived, Jenny and Harold were ready to leave as they waved good-bye before heading out of the restaurant.  I couldn’t take it anymore, “Alex, was that your dad’s former secretary?  You know… the one he … you know.”

He sighed and raised his eyebrows.  “Yep.  That was the infamous Jenny all right.”  He made sure they had left the restaurant before he continued.  “She always wanted a rich husband.  That man, Harold, is filthy rich.  He’s almost twenty years older than her and dotes on her like she’s a real princess or something.  He’s a big-time investment banker and stock trader.”

“She’s pretty, but definitely not as beautiful as your mother,” I replied.

“My mother hates her with a passion.”

“Can you blame her?” I said.

“Of course not.  My father had a long-term affair with her.  My parents almost divorced because of it.  Their marriage was hanging on by a thread.  But I’m glad they worked it out.”

“Me too,” I replied.  “So, when are you going to tell your parents about our engagement.  Unless Melissa told them already, they need to know.”

“Melissa promised she would keep it on the down-low until I told them myself.  We will call once we get back to the house.  They were due back from their vacation this morning,” he said.

Speaking of Melissa, she had sent a text message expressing her uncontainable excitement.

I’m so happy you’re going to be my sister soon! Welcome to the family.  Can I please, please, please be a part of the dress designing?  You know I have all the connections, right?  I’m so excited!!!  Love you!

I assured Melissa that she would indeed be in charge of the bridal gown decision.  I wasn’t concerned about anything other than spending the rest of my life with the man I was crazy in love with.  I didn’t care if I had to wear a potato sack when I walked down the isle, as long as Alex was waiting for me at the alter.  Okay, maybe a potato sack wouldn’t look so fabulous, especially with that huge diamond on my finger.

Love you too!  You can also be part of the bridesmaid’s dress decision.

Awesome!  Let’s get together and collaborate when you return to LA.  Miss you.  Paul says hello and congratulations.

“Are you going to put your phone away and enjoy this romantic dinner with me, baby?  Or did you forget I’m here?” Alex seemed a bit annoyed that my phone hadn’t left my hand since Jenny and Harold left the restaurant.

“Sorry,” I said as I put my phone back in my clutch.  “I was trying to catch up on all the text messages.  The congratulatory messages are going to blow up my phone,” I laughed.

“Mine too,” he shook his head, “How about this; we finish up our romantic dinner, head back home, call my folks, and then we both catch up on the text replies.  What do you say?”

“I say yes,” I replied, blowing him a kiss as I finished the remainder of my wine.

<><><>

Once we got to the house, Alex dialed his parents’ number and put the phone on speaker mode.  It rang for quite some time before his mother answered.  “Hi darling,” she said sweetly.

“Hello, mother.  How was your trip?”

“Oh, it was fabulous.  I didn’t want to come back,” she chuckled.

“That’s nice.  Where’s dad?”

“He’s here next to me.  Did you want to speak with him?” she asked.

“Actually, you’re on speakerphone.  Claire is here with me and we’re in Hampton at the house, remember?”

“Oh, yes, I completely forgot about your trip.  How are you doing, Claire?”

“I’m great, thank you, Isabelle.  How are you and Richard?” I asked.

“Okay, I put you on speakerphone,” she said.

“Hey, kids,” his father said.

“Hi, dad.  Claire and I have something we’d like to share with you.  We are engaged to be married,” Alex announced.

“That’s wonderful!  Congrats!” his father was ecstatic.

“I wish you two the best,” his mother chimed in.  “Welcome to the family, Claire.”  Because I couldn’t see her expression, I wasn’t able to tell whether she was really happy or just trying her best to sound genuine.

“Thank you.  I’m one lucky girl,” I replied.

After Alex hung up, he kissed me softly on my cheek.  “That went well,” he said.

“Your father sounded pretty excited, but I’m not so sure about your mother,” I replied.

“Trust me, you would know if my mother wasn’t happy,” he laughed.  “She sounded pretty cool about it.  Besides, I couldn’t care less about who is happy and who is not.  All I care about is how my life will never have a dull moment in it as long as you’re beside me.  Now, let’s catch up with our text messages so we can take a walk along the beach under the moonlight.”

“Deal,” I said, texting away. 

<><><>

The moon was full that night, casting plenty of light over the beach.  A soft, warm breeze filled the air, making the walk even more enjoyable.  The sound of the waves crashing softly into the shore reminded me of the live version of a CD I used to mediate to.  My therapist taught me how to meditate after the rape, to relieve my posttraumatic stress.  They call it posttraumatic stress.  I call it battle scars.

Every time I heard the sound of the ocean, it reminded me of the tranquility I longed for as I meditated.

“Tell me about the most embarrassing moment in your life,” Alex said.

“What?  Why?” I asked.

“We’re going to get married, baby.  We should be able to ask each other anything, don’t you think?  I will ask you a question and you will give a completely honest answer and vice versa.”

“Oh wow.  Okay.  My most embarrassing moment, huh?” I wrinkled my nose and scratched my head as I tried to recollect my most embarrassing moment.  I had plenty of them.  “Here is one that sticks out in my mind like nothing else:  I had a crush on this guy in high school.  His name was John Watkins.  Anyway, he was a football player and I was crazy about him, but he never really looked my way.  So, one day, I was walking to my locker and he actually spoke to me.  I was walking and talking to him at the same time – not paying attention to where I was going at all.  Next thing I know, I run into a pole.  I had a bruised nose and a huge bump on my forehead.  I was mortified.  I wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out.  Let’s just say he never asked me to prom.” I laughed.

Alex laughed with me.  “If that were me, I would take you to the nurse’s office, apply ice on your forehead and nose, and sit with you in there until you felt better.”

“I’m glad it wasn’t you because we wouldn’t be here right now.  Anyway, tell me about your most embarrassing moment,” I said.

“No, no, no.  This isn’t how this game goes.  You can’t ask me the same questions that I ask you,” he said.

“Says who?”

“Says I, the one who invented this game,” he replied.

I rolled my eyes, “Stupid rules.”

“Don’t roll your eyes like that.  They’re going to get stuck one day,” he said.

“Maybe I want them to,” I grinned.  “Okay.  Here’s a question: How old were you when you lost your virginity and with whom did you sleep with?  I want full details.”

“Fifteen and it was with Mary Parker.  We were together for some time when her parents were both working late one night.  I went to their apartment and one thing led to another in her bedroom.  It wasn’t the best, since I came in less than a minute,” he laughed as he reminisced.

I yawned big, applying my hand over my mouth and exaggerating the yawn.  “That was so boring,” I rolled my eyes again.

“Look here, if you keep that up, I will bore you to death with thirty second sex,” he warned.

“A girl can only dream of a boring quickie,” I replied sarcastically.

“My turn,” he said, ignoring my remark.  “Okay.  Let’s say I’m in a coma.  I’m ninety nine percent gone and there’s only a one percent chance that I may come back.  You are the final decision maker of my fate.  Do you pull the plug or do you wait for that one percent chance that I will make a recovery?  I mean - ninety nine percent is a lot compared to the one percent of a recovery.  What do you do?” He asked.

“I pull the plug,” I replied.  “Just kidding, dummy.  I would never pull the plug unless you are one hundred percent brain dead and there is absolutely no chance of recovery.  Even then, I would hesitate and probably wouldn’t be able to do it.”

“You wanna know what I would do?” he asked.

“What would you do?”

“I would kill myself one day before the plug is pulled on you, so I wouldn’t have to live a day without you,” he said.

“Aww, Alex, that’s such a cheesy and cliché thing to say, but I love it,” I smiled.

“I’m not kidding, Claire.  I wouldn’t want to live a day without you,” he replied.  He really wasn’t kidding.  He looked very serious.

“Okay, let’s stop with all this suicide talk,” I giggled, applying my hand on his face.  His face was so hot.  He was burning up and his eyes looked red.  “Alex, you’re burning up?  Are you feeling well?

“Not really.  I think I’m coming down with something.  I’ll take something from the medicine cabinet upstairs,” he said as we closed all the doors and windows and headed upstairs.  Alex took some medication and crawled into bed with his clothes on.  I removed his clothes, leaving only his boxers on and the comforter off.  He was really burning up.

I went back downstairs and grabbed a few bottles of water from the kitchen.  I needed to hydrate him so his fever would let up.  He took a few sips, but didn’t want to drink anymore.  It has been two hours since he took the fever reducing medication and it didn’t seem to be working.

I found a thermometer in the medicine cabinet and checked his temperature.  I was shocked when it read one hundred three point five.  I didn’t believe it the first time, so I checked again and it read the same.  I grabbed a washcloth, wet it with cold water and put it on his forehead.  My mother would do that to my brothers and I when we had a high fever and it almost always worked.

Another hour went by and still no change in Alex’s condition.  I stayed up the entire night trying to nurse him back to health, but his temperature would only go down one degree and then go up again.

“Alex, you need to see a doctor,” I said.

“Bring me a mirror,” he mumbled with his eyes still closed.

“It’s not funny, Alex.”

“I’m not laughing,” he smiled, his eyes still closed.

It was morning already.  I hadn’t slept all night and Alex’s condition had not changed one bit.  I put my head on his burning hot chest and closed my eyes.  I only needed a few minutes of sleep and I would be okay.

I was awakened by the sound of Alex’s cough.  His breathing didn’t sound right to me.  I wasn’t a doctor, but I just knew something didn’t sound like it should coming from his chest. 

We weren’t going to get anywhere from Alex’s stubborn personality.  I decided to take a shower and change.  If his condition didn’t change by mid-day, I was going to drag him to a hospital if it was the last thing I did.

I took a quick shower, dried my hair quickly with a towel, and put on a clean pair of clothes.  Alex was the same – absolutely no change in his condition and no reduction of fever.  I took matters into my own hands and searched the number for Sam’s Seafood Shack and placed the call.

A female answered, “Thank you for calling Sam’s Seafood Shack, how can I help you?”

“Hi, may I speak to Matt or Mike, please?” I asked.

“Sure, one moment please,” she replied.

“This is Mike.”

“Hi, Mike.  This is Claire, remember me?”

“Of course, Claire.  Are you guys coming by today for some fresh seafood?” he asked.

“Uh, no.  I wish.  Listen Mike, Alex is really, really sick.  He has a high fever and he can’t even move out of bed.  I have no idea what to do, but I think he needs to see a doctor.  He refuses to let me take him to a hospital,” I replied.

“Oh, man.  I’ll come by with Matt.  We’ll convince him, don’t you worry,” he stated.

Less than twenty minutes after our conversation, there was a knock on the front door.  When I opened the door, I couldn’t tell which one was Matt and which one was Mike.  They were so identical.

“Hi, guys,” I said.  “Thanks for coming by.  I’m sorry for disturbing you, but I’m not from around here, so I had no idea who else to call aside from 9-1-1.  I think Alex would kill me if I called the paramedics.”

“Don’t worry, Claire.  We got this.  We will carry his ass out of bed and to a hospital if we have to,” one of the twins said.

I led them upstairs to the bedroom where Alex was still burning up in bed.  “Look, this is the last temperature I took less than a half hour ago,” I showed them the thermometer, which recorded the last reading to be one hundred four point one degrees.

“Shit,” said Mike, the one wearing the dark blue t-shirt.  Matt was wearing a white t-shirt.  That’s how I was able to tell them apart.

Alex didn’t even have the energy to speak.  There were no arguments about taking him to the hospital.  He knew he needed help from a medical professional other than himself.  Mike and Matt basically carried him down the stairs and put him in the back of their car.  I took a seat next to him and he immediately put his head in my lap, his body curled up in the fetal position.  I felt my thigh burn from his feverish cheek.  His breathing was slow and labored.

“Is it far, guys?” I asked.

“Five more minutes,” said Mike as he drove as fast as he could on that road.

He pulled up in front of the Freeman Hospital emergency department and rushed inside to get help.  A few nurses and a doctor ran out with a gurney.  I wasn’t even sure if Alex was conscious at that point.  I should have called 9-1-1 instead of Mike.  Everything was happening so quickly that my mind was a blur.  The endless questions began – when did the symptoms begin, what did he eat, what did he drink, was it sudden or did it happen slowly.  I answered everything as best I could in my panicked state.

“Is he going to be okay?  What’s wrong with him?  Why isn’t he responding?” I asked as I chased the gurney Alex lay unresponsive on.

“I need an x-ray of the chest stat,” I heard the doctor order before he turned to me.  “We are going to run as many tests as we can.  We will find out what is wrong sooner or later.  Just remain calm and have a seat.  I will notify you of his condition as soon as I hear something.”

Just remain calm.  It was easier said than done.  I couldn’t remain calm when my fiancé was burning up with a high fever, a strange sounding cough, had difficulty breathing, and was unresponsive.  Just remain calm.  Sure.

My mind wandered to our conversation right before he became sick.  Alex asked me if I would pull the plug on him if he were ninety nine percent gone.  Oh no.  It was going to happen.  It was happening.  I began to have shortness of breath as the anxiety rushed through me.  Mike noticed there was something wrong with me. 

“He’s going to be fine, Claire.  He’s in a good hospital and in great hands.  Please don’t worry,” Mike tried to calm me down, but it wasn’t working.

“Call his parents,” I said, less than audible.

“Hey, Matt,” he said.  “Call Richard and Isabelle.  Let them know what’s going on.  They should come.”

The way he said, “They should come,” sounded as if Alex was going to die.  I felt numb everywhere – my hands, my face, my legs, and even my tongue.  When my legs were about to give out from under me, I held onto Mike’s arm, but wasn’t strong enough to keep myself up.  He caught me before I hit the ground and helped me to the nearest chair.

“His parents are on their way,” notified Matt.  I inhaled deeply, still short of breath.

After what seemed like forever, the doctor appeared with some information, “His fever is still very high.  We’ve started him on IV fluids to hydrate him because he’s severely dehydrated.  I’ve ordered stat labs and he’s having an x-ray of the chest as we speak.  Just hang tight and I will update you on his status shortly.”

“Thank you,” I managed to say with my voice cracking.  I stood up and began to pace.  It was becoming difficult to sit and wait for Alex to return from the x-ray.  My mind raced with all sorts of unimaginable things as I continued to pace back and forth with my numb limbs.

“Have some water,” Mike handed me a bottle of water.  “We don’t want you to get sick, too.  Have you eaten?”

I took the bottle of water and managed to sip a little.  I shook my head, “I’m not hungry.  The water will do.  Thanks, Mike.”

“Richard called,” Matt came back into the room, “They will be here in about forty-five minutes.”

Alex better feel better by then, I thought, as the doctor returned with results.  “Chest x-ray is showing infiltration in his lungs, which indicates pneumonia and his labs are showing him to be slightly septic.  His white count is extremely elevated.  I’m going to start him on IV antibiotics right away. He will definitely be admitted and will stay with us until we find out the cause and treat him.  We’re going to do everything we can,” he said.

That didn’t sound very assuring to me at all.  Alex was feeling completely fine until the night he was hit by the unknown illness.  Another few minutes went by before Alex’s gurney was wheeled back into the emergency room.  The nurse notified me that Alex would be admitted into room five hundred thirty two very shortly.

“Matt, could you call Richard and let him know the room number?” I asked.

“Of course, Claire,” he replied, applying his hand on my shoulder for reassurance.

Alex was still unresponsive and weak.  The nurse told me that he was on the second back of fluids due to his dehydration.  “The fever is really dehydrating him, so we are hoping the IV fluids help.  Dr. Harper has started him on antibiotics, hoping it will steer him in the right direction to recovery.  Are you his wife?” she asked.

“Fiancé,” I replied, glancing at my ring.  “Newly engaged.”

“Congratulations.  I hope he makes a quick recovery soon so you can plan your wedding,” she smiled.

“From your mouth to God’s ears,” I replied.

<><><>

We were finally situated in the hospital room before Alex’s temperature was taken again.  It was still very high at one hundred four degrees.  Things were not heading in the right direction as the doctor had hoped.  I wanted to take a tranquilizer to calm myself down, but I didn’t.  All I needed was to be lethargic when Richard and Isabelle arrived with a million questions.  I suddenly became nauseous and ran to the nearest trashcan and vomited.

“Are you all right, Claire?” asked Mike.

“I’ve had better days.  I think it’s my nerves.  I’m good,” I said, heading to the bathroom to wash up and rinse my mouth.

I stood by the bed, my hand on Alex’s arm, as he still seemed very lethargic, weak, and burning up with a high fever.  His prognosis did not look good and I had a horrible feeling that something awful was going to happen.  Young patients didn’t die from pneumonia did they?  I knew that babies and elderly patients who were diagnosed with pneumonia did not have a good prognosis.  The more I thought about it, the more I began to panic.  I needed to talk to someone.  I left the room and walked down the wide, sterile corridor and called Katherine.

“Hey, girl.  How’s engaged life treating you?” she asked.

“Horrible, Kathy.  Alex is in the hospital and it doesn’t look good,” I began, but my voice began to choke as I started sobbing.

“Why?  What’s going on?” she asked.

I told her everything I knew and how afraid I was that I would lose him to pneumonia.  “That is so odd, Claire.  One minute he’s totally fine, then all of a sudden he’s in the hospital.  Do you need anything?  You know I will fly out there if you need me to,” she offered.

“I know, Kathy.  Thank you.  His parents are on their way and Mike and Matt have been so great.  I just needed to talk to someone close to me.  Thanks for listening.  I will text you to let you know what happens.”

After I hung up the phone, I heard quite a bit of commotion coming from Alex’s room, “What is wrong with my son?” I heard Isabelle ask the doctor.  “He never gets sick and suddenly he’s septic?  We just spoke with him last night.  I need to see the chest x-ray right away.  Where is Claire?” she asked in such an authoritative tone it made my blood run cold. 

Chapter 17

I slipped my cell phone into my pocket and anxiously entered the hospital room.  Isabelle was in a deep conversation with Dr. Harper, as he explained to her everything he had explained to me.

“I want to read the x-ray myself,” she demanded before she turned and noticed me.

“Claire, what happened to Alex?  How did he get so sick?” she asked.

“I d-don’t know.  Everything was great and we were talking and laughing after we got off the phone with you and Richard.  Then, all of a sudden he began to feel under the weather.  I touched his face and he was burning up,” I explained everything I could possibly recall.  “I wish I had called the paramedics and brought him here sooner.”

“Don’t worry yourself, Claire,” Richard applied his hand on my shoulder.  “He’s going to pull through.  You did the right thing by calling the boys to help you get him here.”  There was such a big difference between Richard and Isabelle.

They made phone call after phone call to their peers, consulting with them regarding Alex’s condition.  Each physician they spoke to had their own opinion on the antibiotic choice.

Hours passed as day turned into night.  He wasn’t responding to the antibiotics at all.  His fever remained the same and his eyelids remained heavy as he mumbled things we could not make out.

Around midnight, Richard and Isabelle went to the house to get some rest so they could return early in the morning.  Isabelle tried to convince me that nothing would change by me staying with Alex in the hospital.  I refused to go anywhere but his side.  I closed my eyes for a few minutes here and there, but it was impossible to sleep on such a small, uncomfortable chair.

Alex was mumbling again in his feverish state.  I climbed onto the bed and put my head on the pillow next to his, my hand on his burning hot chest.  I tried to make out what he was mumbling.  “C-c-cold,” he said.

“I know, Alex.  It’s the fever.  You’re going to feel better soon.  I promise,” I assured him.

“I feel great, b-baby.  I’m just f-fucking freezing,” he complained.

My eyelids weighed a ton and the hospital bed was so much more comfortable than the chair.  I couldn’t fight it any longer as I succumbed to a deep sleep. 

“Don’t you two look comfortable,” Isabelle showed up early in the morning just as the sun had begun to rise.  I was startled by her loud and sudden appearance.  “Good morning, sunshine.  Doctor says you are going to make it after all,” she smiled at Alex, who was at least able to open his eyes that morning and talk again.  He seemed to be heading in the right direction.

“What are you doing here, mom?” he asked, not recalling the events from the day before from all the drugs.

“My only son is on a hospital bed and you’re asking me what I’m doing here?” she said, pressing the button on the side of the bed and situating it into the sitting position.  “Now, I’m going to see to it that you get some food in that stomach.  Claire, sweetheart, why don’t you go to the house and get some rest.  I will take care of Alex today,” she turned to me.

“I’m fine.  I want to stay,” I replied.

“Babe, I’m feeling much better.  Why don’t you both go to the house and rest,” Alex said.

    Isabelle’s phone rang just then, “Yes, Richard, he’s doing much better,” she said before turning to Alex and whispering, “It’s your father.  He headed back to the city this morning.  He has a long day at the hospital today,” she said before continuing her conversation with Richard.

Mike and Matt arrived a little while later, relieved to see that Alex was feeling so much better and his fever had come down significantly.  Dr. Harper entered the room shortly after the boys arrived.

“Good morning,” he said, knocking on the door.  “Looks like our young Los Angeles surgeon is feeling much better.  If you continue to improve within the next twenty-four hours, I will check on you tomorrow and possibly discharge you with a prescription of antibiotics.  How does that sound?”

“The sooner, the better.  I have another few days of vacation left with my beautiful fiancé and I don’t want to miss out on any of it,” he took my hand.  Isabelle looked away quickly as if she didn’t want to see or hear anything regarding our engagement.

“Mike, would you boys please drop off Claire at the house.  She’s very tired and looks like she could use a little rest,” Isabelle half smiled at me.  It was obvious she wanted Alex all to herself.  I couldn’t blame her for wanting to spend time with her son while he was in the hospital.

“Sure.  We’re ready when you are, Claire,” said Mike.

I looked at Alex as I hesitated to leave.  I didn’t want to go anywhere.  I wanted to stay with him until he was released from the hospital, but the look Isabelle gave me indicated that I should give her some time alone with her son.

“I’ll see you later, baby.  I miss you already,” he said as I leaned down and kissed him on the lips before I headed out with Mike and Matt.

“I will come home in a few hours and we can return together,” she said.

“Okay.  I’ll see you later,” I replied.

<><><>

Mike and Matt dropped me off before they headed to the restaurant.  Mike assured me I could call him at any time and he would come drive me back to the hospital.  I told him I would definitely take him up on that offer if Isabelle didn’t show up soon like she promised.

I headed inside the huge and empty home.  I wasn’t sure what I should do first - eat, shower, or sleep.  I decided to sleep, since I felt the need for that more than anything else.

When I woke up, it was already two o’clock in the afternoon.  I jumped out of bed, looked around the house for Isabelle, but there was no sign of her.  I took a quick shower, grabbed a banana from the kitchen and called Mike.

“Hey, Claire.  Need a ride?”

“If it’s no trouble.  Isabelle’s not back yet and I don’t want to drive the Maserati that’s in the garage.  The last thing I need is to crash that car,” I chuckled.

Mike laughed, “All right.  I’ll be there in a few.”

“I’m sorry for troubling you for a ride again, Mike,” I said on the drive to the hospital.

“It’s no trouble.  It gives me a little break from working with my pops,” he smiled.

“Okay, as long as you get a break, I don’t feel so bad,” I replied.

He pulled up in front of the hospital entrance and I hurried inside toward the elevators.  As I was about to enter Alex’s room, I heard Isabelle talking about me.  I slowed down before I entered and caught a little bit of the conversation.

“Alex, you don’t have to rush into another marriage.  Why don’t you take your time and have a long engagement to ensure Claire is the right one,” she said.

“I don’t need time, mom.  Claire’s been the one since I first met her,” he replied.

“I’m not saying don’t marry her.  I’m just saying take your time and make sure your heart doesn’t lead you back to Angela.  You know she’s got her act back together.  She’s practicing medici-”

“Stop it, mom.  I don’t know what your infatuation is with Angela,” he replied, sounding very annoyed.

“She’s a doctor and you deserve nothing less,” she said.

“I think you should go back to the house and bring Claire.  I need to rest and you’re making it impossible.  Where’s my phone?  I’m going to call her.”

I walked into the room as if I hadn’t heard anything.  “Hey, I hope I’m not interrupting.  I asked Mike if he’d play chauffeur again and pick me up when I noticed you hadn’t come back to the house,” I said to Isabelle.

“You should go back to Manhattan.  I’m feeling much better.  I know you have to get back to work tomorrow anyway.  Claire will take care of me and let you know if she needs help,” he said to his mother.

“He’s right, Isabelle.  I’m here and I will take great care of him.  Hopefully he will be discharged tomorrow,” I said.

“Well, I guess my work around here is done and nobody needs me.  Take good care of my son,” she said as she glared at me and gave him a kiss on his forehead.

After Isabelle left, Alex let out a big sigh of relief. “She drained the newly regained energy out of me.  I thought she’d never leave.”

I chuckled, “I’m sorry.  She’s your mother and she loves you.”

I didn’t mention the disturbing conversation I had eaves dropped on; that according to his mother, my profession was beneath him.  I wasn’t a physician and never would be.  I would never be Angela and she had to start getting used to that fact.

“Sometimes I think she loves me too much.  It’s suffocating.  I wish she would stop controlling me and quit trying to live my life,” he confessed.

“All this anger is going to make it harder for you to recover.  We’re leaving town in a few days, Alex.  I need you to get better quickly,” I replied.

“I will feel better if you lie down next to me like you did this morning.  I think that’s what helped me.  They should run you through my veins like an IV.  I would never get sick again,” he grinned.

<><><>

Alex wasn’t discharged until late the following day.  Dr. Harper wanted to confirm he was completely ready to be released form the hospital.  He was still very weak and wasn’t going to be a hundred percent better until he completed taking all the antibiotics and got plenty of rest.

“It’s not like I’m dying,” he complained every time he wanted to go out and do something adventurous and I objected.

“I know you’re not dying, but you will if you don’t take care of yourself,” I replied.  “And stop saying you’re a doctor and you know everything.  You should practice what you preach for a change.”

“You’re so sexy when you’re mad.  Am I allowed to take a walk on the beach with you?” he asked, pouting.

“Okay,” I smiled.  “We can take a slow and short walk on the beach.”

We slipped our tennis shoes on and went out on the beach for a short, romantic walk just before sunset.

“I have a little surprise planned for tomorrow,” he said.

“What kind of a surprise?” I asked.

“It’s really nothing, but I think you will enjoy it on our last day here,” he replied, not revealing any other information.

We walked hand in hand to the edge of the pier and sat side by side, absorbing the beautiful sunset.  We talked until the sun called it a night and the large full moon appeared, casting light on the ocean and causing it to glisten.

“Alex, I don’t think we should ever talk about death and when to pull the plug on each other like we did the other night.  You got so sick after that conversation.  Call me superstitious, but it’s how I feel.”

“How did we even begin to talk about that stuff?” He asked.

“I don’t know, Mr. I-want-to-die-one-day-before-you-so-I-don’t-have-to-live-a-day-without-you,” I teased.

“Are you making fun of me, Miss Morgan?” he raised an eyebrow at me.

“No.  I’m just telling you how it is, Dr. Blake,” I replied, cocking an eyebrow at him.

<><><>

Alex’s surprise the next day was revealed when the doorbell rang.  He had arranged for us to have a massage with the same masseuses we had during our day at the spa.  It was the best way to spend the last day of our trip.

They set up in the backyard right next to the pool under the patio.  It was a good idea for Alex to have a massage and really continue his relaxation as a part of his healing process.

It was just like me to fall asleep during a massage.  How could I stay awake through a two-hour massage?

“Babe?  Wake up,” it was Alex, attempting to bring me back from the dead sleep I was in.

“Hmm?” I looked up, “Oh, Alex, why couldn’t you just let me sleep until I woke up on my own?” I asked, irritated that my amazing beauty nap had abruptly come to an end.

“They kinda need their equipment back,” he flashed his eyes toward the masseuses.

“Oh.  I’m so sorry,” I said as I wrapped the cover on my body and jumped off the massage bed.  “It’s a compliment when your client falls asleep on you, isn’t it?” I asked as they laughed and agreed.

“I really didn’t want to wake you up, baby, but you’ve been asleep for a long time,” he looked at his watch as the masseuses gathered their things and headed out with a big tip from Alex.  “So, what do you feel like doing today?”

“We should swing by the restaurant and visit the boys.  I want to thank them for helping me get you to the hospital, so it would be nice to say goodbye before we head back tomorrow.

“Agreed.  Let’s shower and head out,” he kissed me softly on the lips and led me to up the stairs.

<><><>

Alex and I picked up Mike and Matt from the restaurant and headed to a pub a few miles down the road.  They were happy to get a break from work and had found someone to help their father while they were out.  I could only imagine how difficult it would be to work with family in such a busy restaurant.

“Alex, the restaurant business isn’t all that.  It’s seven days a week and very consuming.  You’re in the right profession, bro,” one of them chimed in.  I still couldn’t differentiate between the two boys.

I asked Alex how he could so easily tell which was which.  “Mike has a very small scar on his chin and another one on the left side of his forehead.”  When I took a good look at Mike, I noticed both of the scars that Alex was talking about.

“Aha,” I whispered.  “Now I know the secret on how to differentiate between these guys.”  The pub was crowded and busy with locals enjoying a good beer and what smelled like really good food.

“So, when are you guys going to come to LA?” asked Alex.

“We’ll totally come out there for your wedding.  We’re invited, right?” asked Matt.

“Of course you’re invited.  What kind of a question is that?” said Alex.

“I’ll drink to that,” Mike raised his mug of beer.

Alex was the only one who didn’t even take a sip of alcohol, since he was on medication for the next two weeks.  “You all can drink as much as you want.  I will be the designated driver and make sure everyone gets home in one piece.”

“And I’ll drink to that,” I said, raising my glass full of hard iced tea.  The one glass of hard iced tea turned into two glasses and then three.  I knew I should have stopped before the third one, but I chose not to listen to my conscience.  My tongue began to feel numb and I began to feel lightheaded and knew I should have eaten before consuming all that alcohol.

I began to talk way too much, but what was I saying?  I laughed and laughed and tugged on Alex’s shirt telling him I want to dance.  I knew I had to collect myself, but I couldn’t for the life of me.  It was hot in there and I wanted to take off my clothes, but I knew I shouldn’t do that.  I couldn’t do that.  What the hell possessed me to drink so damn much?

I continued to laugh, but didn’t even know what on earth I was saying.  Alex was laughing with me and so were Mike and Matt.  I recall telling the guys about my twin brothers and how cool it would have been to have a twin sister.

We were there for hours.  I ate, drank a lot of water, and ate some more.  Before I knew it, I began to slowly sober up.  I was grateful to still have my clothes on.  Alex was happy and still laughing, so I knew I hadn’t said anything stupid to ruffle his feathers like I had done in Las Vegas during my birthday trip.

I was so thirsty that I drank water as if the world was going to run out of it.  I headed to the restroom and washed up.  I also wanted to make sure I could walk on my own.

“You ready to head out, baby?” Alex asked when I returned, his hand on the small of my back.

“You guys are such party poopers.  I thought we were just beginning to drink,” I chuckled.

“Just wait until I’m done with these meds,” Alex said.

Alex drove Mike and Matt back to the restaurant so they could help with the closing.  We said our goodbyes and headed back to the house.

The weather was perfect, so we didn’t want to spend the last evening indoors.  Alex turned on the speakers in the backyard by the pool, playing “All of Me” by John Legend.

He held out his hand, “Dance with me,” he said.

I gave him my hand and he pulled me against his body, his arms around my waist as my hands wrapped around his neck.  The music in one ear, the sound of the ocean in my other ear, and Alex’s warm breath against my lips was such a tranquil feeling.

Alex felt thinner as if he had lost some weight due to his recent illness and hospitalization.  I rested my head against his chest, listening to his rapid heartbeat as I swayed side to side, allowing him to lead.  The thought of it being our last night in that beautiful place made me sad.

He lifted my chin, his bright blue eyes penetrating into mine as he slowly brought his lips to mine.  I parted my lips, allowing his tongue to dance with mine as his warm breath poured into my mouth, causing the blood to flow faster through my veins.

He quickly unbuttoned my shorts, releasing it to the ground as he moved my thong to the side, gliding his fingers into me.  I felt a sudden surge of wet heat between my thighs.  I moaned into his mouth as he kissed me more passionately, his hardness pushing against me.

Before I knew it we were in the cabana.  Alex kissed me hard on the lips before her turned me around, my back against his chest.  One hand caressed my breasts and the other rubbed against my oozing wet folds.  I bent over, my palms on the cabana bed as he entered me.

He slapped my ass hard as he penetrated deeper, his hands pulling my hips closer to him so he could push deeper into me.  Sweat trickled down my back and my breathing quickened.  My legs began to feel week when I felt an orgasm building up inside of me.  I exploded around him, unable to stand on my feet any longer.

Alex turned me around, pushing me down on to the bed.  He took my nipple into his mouth, circulating his tongue around it.  He was inside of me, moving slowly, kissing me softly on my neck.

“I want you to come again,” he whispered.

“Oh Alex,” I whispered back, panting.

I squeezed myself tighter, increasing the sensation as he moved himself in and out of me.  I could hold on no longer.  I gave in, climaxing around him as he groaned loudly as he came, convulsing into me.

With my head rested against his chest, my eyelids heavy, and the song playing on repeat, I drifted off into a deep state of sleep.

<><><>

I was running so fast, attempting to pass the white utility van parked to the side.  I wasn’t fast enough.  The side door slid open and a dirty pair of hands grabbed me and tried to pull me inside.  Someone grabbed me from behind as I collapsed to the ground, turning my head slightly to see it was Alex who grabbed me.

I woke up with a scream, sitting up in the cabana bed.  Alex comforted me, “It’s okay baby.  It was only a dream.  Let’s go upstairs,” he said, helping me out of the cabana.  I waited while he turned off the music and closed the doors and windows before we headed upstairs.  I slipped into a camisole and panties before crawling into bed.  Sleep wasn’t coming so easily this time.  I tossed and turned so much that even Alex woke up.

“What’s wrong, baby?  Can’t sleep?” he asked.

“No.  This pisses me off.  I was sleeping so soundly if it wasn’t for that stupid nightmare,” I complained. 

“I’m sure I can help put you to sleep,” he grinned.

“You’ve already worn me out,” I chuckled.  “I have a better idea.  Talk to me.  Tell me something about you that nobody knows.”

“You know everything there is to know about me, Claire,” he replied.

“But there has to be something that you keep to yourself.  Come on.  Please.”

“Okay, okay, let me think.  Actually there is something I’ve never told anyone.  I have a little bit of OCD when it comes to shampoo and body wash bottles in the shower.  I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but the bottles have to be next to each other by height; tallest to shortest,” he confessed.

“You’re weird.  Just kidding,” I laughed.  “Now that you mention it, I do recall the perfect order of bottles in your shower.”

“Now it’s your turn to tell me something about you,” he said.

“You know everything there is to know about me and more, Alex.  However, I don’t know if you’ve ever noticed this, but I have a little bit of OCD with wine glasses and lipstick.”

“Wine glasses and lipstick?” he asked, puzzled.

“When I have a lot of lipstick or lip gloss on my lips, I have to drink the wine from every side of the glass, getting my lipstick stains all around,” I said, waiting for him to tell me how weird I am.

“Aha!  That’s why your wine glass always has lipstick all over the top.  And I thought it was done unintentionally.  All right.  I’ve heard it all.  You win this one,” he laughed.

“I didn’t know this was a contest, Dr. Blake,” I replied.

“It’s not, baby.  I’m only kidding.  I guess we all have a bit of OCD,” he said, kissing my forehead.  “So, are you sad that we’re heading back home tomorrow?  Or today I should say.”

“Yes, I am.  It was a really nice week aside from the horrible trip to the hospital,” I replied.

“I’m sorry about that, baby,” he said.

“I’m just glad you’re okay.  I thought I was going to lose you, Alex.  I was so scared,” I confessed.

He took my hand, kissing the top of it, “I’m not going anywhere.  I promise.”

“You better not be going anywhere.  I don’t have the time or patience to find another man.” I joked.

“I’m sure it won’t be much of a problem.  You’ll just snap your fingers and a dozen men will appear at your feet.”

“But none of them will be you,” I replied.

“I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you, Claire.  I feel like my life began after I met you and before you I wasn’t even alive.  Every second I spend with you is worth more than the world to me.  I love you so much, baby – more than you will ever know.  Not a minute goes by in a day that I don’t think about you.  You consume me.  You’re my everything.”

I didn’t respond to that with words.  I responded with my mind, my lips, and my body.  I responded by making love to Alex and fell asleep in his warm embrace – where I belonged.

Chapter 18

Reality kicked in rather quickly once we returned to LA and had to get back to work.  I popped my head in Jason’s office and noticed he was working on a long email.  I settled down on a chair, invading a little bit of his space like he always did to me.

“Hey you.  Welcome back.  How was your trip?” he asked, turning away from his computer and directing all of his attention to me.

I held out my left hand with the huge diamond ring on it and just smiled.  “I had a fantastic trip.”

“No way!” his eyes widened.  “Congratulations,” he said, getting up to hug me.  “Holy shit, that’s a huge rock,” he said, analyzing every spec of the diamond.  “I’m so happy for you guys.”

“Thank you, Jason.”

Word seemed to travel rather quickly.  Before I knew it, Taryn was in my office.  “So, the news on the street is that you are going to be Mrs. Alex Blake.  I can only imagine how that must feel,” she sighed.  “Really happy for you two.”  Taryn Simmonds actually sounded genuine in her congratulatory statement.

“Thank you,” I replied.

“This calls for happy hour.  We should pencil it in on our calendars.  I can’t wait to help you plan your wedding!” she exclaimed.

I wasn’t sure I wanted Taryn to help with wedding plans, but I only smiled and said, “Definitely looking forward to it.”

“Okay, gotta go.  Can’t wait to tell Mark.  I’m sure he’ll be thrilled to hear the good news,” she stormed out, turning quickly to wink at me before she was gone. 

Laura called shortly after Taryn left.  “We have to do lunch today.  I’m dying to meet that rock on your finger.”

Bertha Johnson, Jason’s boss was looking for him once again.  She had a habit of peeking her head in my office every now and then, assuming that he would be with me.  “Have you seen Jason?” she asked.

“Last I saw him, he was in his office.  Maybe he was paged,” I replied.  I don’t know why she didn’t call him or page him instead of barging in offices and disturbing everyone.  I felt sorry for Jason, having to put up with a controlling woman for a boss.  The rumor about Bertha was that she was cold hearted, rude, and a complete micromanager.  Another rumor my ears had picked up was that she didn’t speak to a family member because they were homosexual.  I wonder if I should tell her I have a gay brother so she would stay away from me and quit poking her oily face in my office.

Hey Jase, your psycho boss is on the hunt for you.  Just thought I’d give you a heads up. 

Thanks! I’ll keep running.  I’m not in the mood for her today.  Wish she would just let me do my damn job.

I feel your pain.  I’ll treat you to coffee later.

You’re a doll, Claire!

I met Laura for lunch and told her about my wonderful experience in the Hamptons and the dream proposal.  She frowned when I told her about Alex’s hospitalization.

“That’s terrible.  I’m glad he’s okay.  It could’ve been much worse.  How is he doing now?” she asked.

“He’s feeling back to normal.  He’s almost done with his antibiotics and will have another chest x-ray to make sure it’s all gone.” I replied.

I couldn’t help but tell Laura about Isabelle and the conversation I overheard before entering Alex’s hospital room.  “At least Alex wasn’t on the same page as her.  After what you told me about your visit to New York and the way she dressed you up to look like Angela, expect anything from that woman,” she chuckled.

“Let’s hope and pray that Alex is never on the same page as his mother,” I replied, taking a sip of my soda.

When I returned from lunch, an email was waiting for me from Mark.

Claire,

Heard the news about the engagement.  Congratulations!  Alex is one lucky bastard!

Mark Kohler, M.D.

I responded with a quick ‘thank you’ and left it at that.  This email was very different from the previous ones he had sent and I was grateful that it was a somewhat normal and simple message - not a dinner date invitation.

After drowning myself in work, I realized I needed to take a little break.  I recalled my offer to treat Jason to a cup of coffee.  I found him also drowning in work in his office.

“Knock knock,” I said, knocking on his half open office door.  “I’m desperate for coffee and I promised you a cup.  Let’s go to the coffee cart.”

He looked up from his computer, “I thought you’d forgotten about it.  I was about to head over there myself.”

“I always keep my promises,” I replied.

We walked outside the building to the coffee cart.  I ordered a cappuccino for myself and a vanilla latte for Jason.  We took a seat on one of the benches nearby, under a big tree.

“Gosh, I’m having such a hard time adjusting to work after my trip,” I said.

Jason sighed, “Speaking of trip, I really need a vacation.  If I didn’t surf almost every morning, I think I would have murdered Bertha by now.  She drives me up the wall,” he shook his head, sipping on the coffee.

“I can’t imagine working for her,” I replied.

“Thank you for hiding me in your office from time to time so she can’t find me,” he chuckled.

“You’re welcome,” I laughed.  “I sure hope she never finds out I’m hiding you in there whenever she’s on the hunt for you.  She’ll probably hang me in the main entrance of the hospital for all to see what happens to those who do not obey Bertha.”

“Oh shit, Claire.  I don’t want you to die for me.  Especially if it’s death by Bertha Johnson.”

I laughed so hard that I almost spit the coffee out of my mouth.  “Let’s go before she sends the bomb sniffing police dogs to find you.”

<><><>

I got home so much earlier than Alex that evening.  I opened the refrigerator and stood in front of it, trying to figure out what to cook for dinner.  I was so used to Alex doing all the cooking all the time that it was more and more difficult to decide on what to make for him that was half as good as what he always made for me.  I didn’t find anything in the refrigerator.  I opened the freezer and found a frozen and boxed lasagna I could just pop in the oven.  It wasn’t gourmet, but it would do for that evening.

It was half past eight when Alex finally came home.  “Hey, I was about to call you.  I was worried about you.  I didn’t know you were working late tonight,” I said.

“I didn’t know either,” he replied without making eye contact with me.

“I hope you like lasagna because that’s all I could find in the freezer,” I said.

“Thanks, but I’m not hungry.  I’m going to take a shower.  I’m really tired,” he said and headed upstairs.  I didn’t know why he was acting so strange.  His phone was on silent mode, but I could see it light up with a phone call.  It was Angela.  Something must have happened with her to put him in a bad mood.

She didn’t just call once or twice or even three times.  She called at least ten times while Alex was upstairs taking a shower.  I almost wanted to answer his phone and set her straight.  Another thought occurred to me.  What if it was an emergency and she really needed to get a hold of Alex.

The calls stopped and she began to send text messages, which I could see only the previews of.

Alex! Answer your phone!

I need to speak to you, Alex! It’s import ….

I need you to listen to what I have to sa ….

I heard Alex coming down the stairs and walked away from his phone, so he didn’t catch me reading his text previews.  He immediately took his phone from the counter and seemed to be reviewing the many missed calls and texts from Angela.  I observed him closely and he looked irritated more than anything.

He stepped out onto the verandah, closing the glass sliding door behind him.  He paced back and forth, his face angry and irritated.  He wasn’t talking loud enough for me to hear a word he was saying.  I walked toward the sliding door, able to make out a little bit of the conversation.  “Mother, I swear if you don’t stop this right now, you will never see me again.”  It was Isabelle on the phone, not Angela.

I smelled something burning.  The lasagna! “Oh shit!” I ran to the kitchen, but didn’t make it in time.  The smoke detector went off from all the smoke that poured out of the oven as soon as I opened it.

Alex ran inside and used a towel to shoo away the smoke from the alarm.  He looked at me, a frown forming at the corners of his mouth, “It’s okay, baby.  I wasn’t hungry anyway.”

“I was,” I replied as I tossed the charred lasagna in the sink and headed upstairs to shower and sleep.  I guess dinner was out of the question for me.  Thoughts raced through my mind as I let the water run down my body.  Angela was always going to be a part of Alex’s past, but the way she constantly contacted him seemed like she was going to be a part of his present and future as well.

The hunger was making me even more moody and agitated.  I stepped out of the shower, dried off and headed straight to bed.  I knew that if I fell asleep, I would forget how hungry and cranky I was.

“Claire,” Alex called.  I didn’t answer.  I just closed my eyes and pretended to sleep.  He entered the bedroom and took a seat next to me on the bed.  “Hey, are you sleeping?”

“I was trying to,” I replied.

“Aren’t you hungry?” he asked.

“Yeah.  But now that my lasagna is burned to a crisp, I have no choice but to go to sleep hungry,” I said.

He pulled the covered off of me, “Come with me,” he said, taking a hold of my hand and pulling me out of bed.  “I will make you a fruit salad.  I think we have some fruit in the fridge.”

“I don’t want fruit,” I pouted.

“It’s fruit of starve.  What will it be?” he raised one eyebrow at me.

“Fine.  Fruit. Ugh,” I said, following him down the stairs and into the dining room.

“Have a seat right here,” he said, pulling out a chair for me.  “I’ll be back with your fruit.”

Moments later, Alex appears with a large, warm, juicy piece of lasagna on a platter.  “What’s this?” I asked.

“It’s lasagna.  What does it look like?” he smiled.

“You made lasagna for me?” I asked.

“I didn’t make it, but I did pick it up from your favorite Italian restaurant.  It nearly killed me to see the look on your face when you discovered the charred lasagna in the oven.”

“Thank you, Alex.  You’re so sweet,” I smiled, pulling a chair next to me.  “Sit next to me and share this gigantic piece of lasagna with me.”

“I’m not that hungry, but I’ll take a few bites if you feed me,” he said.

“Deal,” I replied, sliding a large piece into his mouth.

<><><>

Later that night in bed, I couldn’t hold it inside any longer.  “Alex, can I ask you something?”

“You can ask me anything, baby,” he replied.

“Is everything okay with you?” I asked.

“Everything’s cool.  Why?” he asked.

“I know Angela has been calling and texting you like there’s no tomorrow,” I blurted out. 

He turned to face me, propping his head up with his elbow, “It’s nothing that I can’t handle,” he assured.

“Are you sure?  We can talk about it, Alex,” I replied.

“Claire, I said it’s nothing that I can’t handle.  Let’s leave it at that.  You have nothing to worry about.”

“I just want you to know that it affects your mood, Alex.  And when you’re in a pissed off mood, it affects my mood as well.  When you were in the shower, your phone wouldn’t stop ringing and your text messages were endless.”

“You heard my phone ring?” he asked.

“No.  It was on silent mode, but I saw it light up a thousand times with calls from Angela.  Even after she stopped calling, she wouldn’t stop texting you.  Maybe this is something we need to handle together because it doesn’t seem like you can handle it on your own.  If we’re going to get married, we need to work through things together, Alex.  Not handle everything on our own,” I said.

He ran his fingers through my hair so softly.  He knew how to calm me down when I was upset.  I sometimes wish he didn’t have the magic touch.  His thumb gently traced the side of my face, moving down to my neck, traced my collarbone, and moved down to my breast.

“Do you trust me?” he asked, removing my bra and tracing my erect nipple with his thumb.  “You’re not answering my question,” he said before he began tracing my nipple with his tongue, his lips barely touching me.

I nodded, “Of course I trust you.”

“Then let me handle it,” he said.

I opened my mouth to say something – to disagree with him, but I was losing this battle.  I succumbed to his kisses as if I hadn’t been kissed in years.  His fingers rubbed against my folds, gliding into me so smoothly.

“I love that you’re so wet and I’ve barely even touched you,” he whispered.

“You have that effect on me,” I whispered back, short of breath.

He removed his fingers and rubbed me so slowly, left me begging for more.  “Do you want me inside you?”

“Yes,” I replied, trying not to sound so desperate.

“How badly do you want me inside you?”

“Please, Alex.  Don’t torture me,” I said, grabbing a hold of his erection as I wrapped my hand around it and stroked.

“Who’s torturing who?” he sighed, moving on top of me and entering me.  He moved so gently in and out of me as if I was a delicate flower that may wilt if not handled properly.

He grabbed my bottom and pulled me towards him as he grinded against me with his pelvis.  He moved deeper and deeper into me each time.  I felt a tingling sensation build within me.  Every thrust brought me closer and closer until I burst into an orgasm around him as he came into me, his lips pressed against mine, moaning into my mouth.

He pulled himself out of me as I rested my head on his chest.  “From now on, we don’t talk about anything unpleasant in this bed,” he said.

I only nodded.  I was listless and tired.  The last thing I wanted to think about was the unpleasant.

“I love you, baby,” he said as he kissed the top of my head.

“Love you too, Alex.”

<><><>

I didn’t bother Alex for the remainder of the week.  I let him “handle” the Angela situation.  I knew it wasn’t only Angela.  It was Isabelle, too, who was really upsetting Alex.  She probably wanted Alex to help Angela with more money or work, I assume.  But you know what they say about assuming.

Jason and I made a habit of treating each other to coffee in the afternoons to keep us going for the remainder of the day.  I spent my lunchtime with Laura as much as I could and only had coffee with Jason.  I declined lunch invitations from him and invited him to lunch with Laura and I, but he said we needed to talk about girl stuff and that he didn’t want to be the third wheel.

Taryn happened to be walking by one afternoon while Jason and I were sitting on our favorite bench under the big tree.  “Hey you two.  Can I join?” she asked.

Honestly, I wanted to say no, but Taryn had been so nice lately that I didn’t have the heart to be mean to her.  Her personality had turned from night into day.  She was happier, nicer, and sweeter since she and Mark were hot and heavy.  I still tried to keep my distance from her as much as I could.  She still wasn’t my type of friend to hang out with on a normal basis.  I decided to let Jason enjoy Taryn’s company.

“I gotta run to a meeting soon.  I’ll see you guys later,” I said, looking at my watch as I stood up off the bench and walked toward the building.

Minutes later, Jason sent me a text message:

I can’t believe you left me alone with that woman on our favorite bench!

Aww, I’m sorry.  I will treat you to coffee for an entire week to make up for it.

That’s not enough.  You should get me a new surfboard!

Would you like me to buy you a house and a car to go with it?  Taryn’s not that bad anymore, Jason.  She used to be much worse and you know it.

All right.  Whatever.  Coffee for a week will make up for it.

I didn’t really have a meeting to run to.  However, I did have tons of work I needed to submerge myself in for the next few hours without any interruptions.  I didn’t get to work so long until I received a text message from Alex.

Hi baby.  I’m going to Guatemala in a few weeks for my annual pro bono surgeries.  Why don’t you come with me?

I can’t, Alex.  We just took a trip.  I need to save some vacation time for our honeymoon.

It’ll be so fun, baby.  Come with me.

It won’t be all fun and games because you’ll be working.  Remember how busy and exhausted you were last year?  You barely spoke with me on Skype.

That’s true.  We’ll talk about it further tonight.  Love you.

Every year, Alex flew to Guatemala for a week to perform free surgeries for children born with clef palates and other malformations.  He would be working all day long anyway, so there would be no point in me going with him.  I would hardly even see him and when I did, he would be too tired to go out and do something.

My mother called while I was on my way home.  “Hey sweetheart, welcome back to planet earth.  Have you forgotten about us?” she joked.

“Hi mom, of course not.  I’ve just been so busy.  I’m sorry.  You know I love you and dad to death.”

“I know, I know.  I’m only kidding.  I was hoping you would stop by one of these days so I could congratulate you and feed you.  I would love to see my little girl’s big ring in person,” she chuckled.

“Let me call Alex and see if he’ll meet me there so we can all be together,” I said.

I called Alex and he sounded really tired, but said he would meet me at my parents’ house.  I called my mother to let her know we would be there shortly.

I pulled up into the driveway and headed inside, following the aroma of what smelled like pasta.  My mother hugged me hard, not letting go for the longest time.

“Oh my!  What a beautiful ring!  It’s a canary diamond?” she asked.

“Yeah it is.  I love it.” I replied.

“You look happy, honey,” she said.

“I am.  I don’t remember ever being so happy and content before.”

“I’m so happy to hear that.  Your father is on his way.  I made fettuccini alfredo and baked chicken stuffed with spinach.  I’m glad you and Alex decided to have dinner with us tonight.  Otherwise I was going to have so much leftover food.  You know I’m not a big fan of leftovers,” she said.  She wasn’t kidding.  My mother hated leftovers.

My phone began to ring.  When I looked at the caller ID, it was Katherine.  “Hey, Kathy.  What’s up?”

“Hey.  Not much.  I was just wondering if you’re home yet?  Wanted see if I could stop by for a few minutes.”

“I’m not home, but I’m at my parents’ for dinner.  Why don’t you come here? My mom cooked for a whole army,” I said.

“I don’t want to intrude.  John is out on a networking dinner and I really miss you,” she replied.

“Ok then, dinner here it is.  We’ll be waiting for you,” I hung up.

“Mom, Kathy’s coming over if that’s okay with you,” I said.

“Of course it is.  Oh, I think I hear your father,” she said, looking toward the front door.  Alex and my father had arrived at the same time and were catching up on everything sports on their way inside.  Alex smiled big when he saw me.  My father gave me hug and a kiss on my cheek.

“Congratulations to the beautiful newly engaged couple,” he beamed.

“Thanks, dad.” I replied before he headed to the kitchen to say hello to my mother. 

“Hi, baby,” said Alex, kissing me softly on the lips.  “How was your day?”

“It was just another day at Downtown Memorial Hospital.  How about you?” I asked.

“Exactly what you said,” he replied, nodding his head.

“Oh, Kathy called me.  She wanted to stop by the condo tonight, but I told her to come have dinner with us here.  John has a dinner meeting, so he’s not home.  She sounded a little down.  I hope everything is okay in paradise.  The wedding is only two months away.” I said.

“I hope all is good.  Maybe she’s just bored and misses you,” he said.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.  I miss her, too,”

After Katherine arrived, we all sat at the dining table and began to feast on my mother’s delicious cooking.  Katherine looked a little down.  I couldn’t wait to have a few moments alone with her so we could talk.  She didn’t look too happy and I was dying to find out what on earth was on her mind.

We helped my mother clean up and load the dishwasher after we finished eating.  My father and Alex stepped outside to enjoy a Cuban cigar.  I pulled Katherine into the office so we could talk.

“Kathy, what’s wrong?  Is everything okay?” I asked.

She shook her head.  “No, not really.”

“What do you mean?  Are you and John going through a tough time?” I asked.

“I guess you could call it that,” she said, tears filling her beautiful eyes.

“Please tell me so I can help you,” I pleaded.

“I’m pregnant,” she blurted.

“Oh. My. God. Congratulations!” I exclaimed.  “You don’t look too happy.  What’s wrong?” I asked.

“What do you think is wrong?  My wedding is a couple of months away.  I have a beautiful wedding gown and a romantic honeymoon planned.  And I’m pregnant.  I wasn’t supposed to get pregnant now, Claire.  I was supposed to get pregnant after the wedding.  I was going to enjoy my wedding and honeymoon with plenty of alcohol,” she cried.

“Your stomach is still flat.  Don’t worry, Kathy.  You’ll fit into that beautiful bridal gown.  You’re only going to be a few months along.  I’ll be there to help and support you.  This is a good thing.  It’s a blessing,” I assured her.

“That’s what John is saying.  I think my hormones are getting the best of me,” she said, dabbing the tears from her eyes.

“You’ve been waiting all these years to marry him.  And now you’re going to marry him and have a baby together.  This is great, Kathy.  I need you to cheer up.  If not for me, then for the baby,” I pointed to her stomach.  She nodded, still sobbing.

There was a knock on the office door.  “Come in,” I said.  It was Alex.  He was surprised to see Katherine crying.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” he began to turn toward the door again to walk out before he turned toward us again.  “Is everything okay?” he asked.

“You can tell Alex,” Kathy permitted.  “He’s practically family.”

“Kathy and John are going to have a baby,” I said, smiling.

Alex’s face brightened up with joy.  “That’s great.  So, why are you crying?” he asked Katherine.

“She’s just not happy about the timing,” I said.

“Oh, I see,” he raised his eyebrows.  “Wedding’s just around the corner, Kathy.  Tell John I said congratulations.”

We decided to call it a night when we realized it was getting so late.  I continued to reassure Katherine until the minute I left my parents’ house.  Once Alex and I arrived at my condo, he told me how badly he wished it were me who was pregnant and had surprised him with such great news. 

“One day our time will come.  I promise, Alex.”

I made some hot tea and took it out on the verandah where Alex was seated.  We sipped away on chamomile, becoming drowsy and relaxed from it. 

“So, you’re not coming to Guatemala?  It’s only for a week,” he said.

“No, Alex.  We’ll take another trip together that doesn’t involve you working.”

“What will you be doing in town all by yourself?” he asked.

“I will be working, remember?”

“Yeah.  I know you’ll be working.  How am I going to sleep without you next to me?” he pouted.

“The same way I’m going to have to sleep without you next to me,” I replied.

“You’ll probably find another man and forget about me,” he frowned.

“Oh, shut up, Alex.  If I wanted to find another man, I would find one now while you’re still in town.  Why wait?” I said, as both of us broke out into laughter.

I kept thinking about Katherine and her surprise pregnancy.  I understood her frustration.  Her life was about to completely change.  I recalled the thoughts that went through my mind when I was pregnant with Alex’s baby.  All I could think about was if I would be a good mother or a bad mother.  My heart felt heavy when I recalled the miscarriage and how everything seemed upside down in my life at that time.  But Alex kept me strong.  His love kept me thriving.

Chapter 19

I offered to drop off Alex at the airport for his trip to Guatemala.  I wanted to spend every second with him until if was time to let go for a week.  I pulled over and parked at the drop off area.  As I got out of the car, I realized how early it was.  It was so dark outside that it looked more like night than morning.

Alex opened the trunk and pulled out his small suitcase.  He had packed very light, since he would be spending more time in scrubs than regular clothes.  He wrapped his arms around me so tightly.  He didn’t want to let go and I didn’t want him to either.

“I miss you already,” he lifted my chin up and kissed my lips long and hard.

“I miss you more.  Call me as soon as you get there,” I said.

He kissed me one more time before he grabbed his suitcase and headed inside.  He turned around and winked at me as I waved goodbye and got into the car quickly.

It was quiet in the hospital when I arrived.  I kept myself occupied with all the work I had waiting for me in my office.  Around nine o’clock I realized I was hungry and sleepy.

I grabbed a croissant and a large cup of coffee from the coffee cart.  As I was turning the corner, I ran into Taryn, almost spilling my coffee.

“Oh! I’m so sorry! Did you get any on you?” she asked.

“No, it’s all good.  The lid saved the day,” I replied.

“Is Alex out of town?” she asked.

“Yeah.  I dropped him off at the airport this morning,” I replied.

“Oh okay.  Well, if you need any girl time, I’m here.  We can have a drink or something and talk about your big wedding plans,” she beamed.

“Okay.  See you around.”

Before I was able to open my mouth and take a bite of the croissant and another sip off coffee, my phone rang.  It was Jack.

“Good morning, boss.”

“Good morning.  Can you come to my office?” he said.

“Sure.  Is everything okay?” I asked.

“Yeah.  We’ll talk when you get here,” with that he hung up.

I didn’t like the sound of that.  On my way to Jack’s office, my mind was so busy trying to figure out if I had done something wrong.  I couldn’t think of anything.  I knocked on the door before entering nervously into his office.

“Hi there.  Have a seat,” he said, pointing to the chair across from his desk.  “So, tell me, how do you think you’ve been doing with managing the Admitting department?”

“I believe I’ve been doing very well.  I’ve been working very hard and I feel the numbers reveal that,” I said.

He smiled, “Yes you have.  That is why I asked you to come up here.  There’s a new opportunity for you and I hope you’re interested in it.  How do you feel about Vice President of the Business Services department?”

I put my hand on my chest, “Me?”

“I don’t see anyone else in here,” he said, looking around.

“I-I-I don’t know what to say,” I hesitated.

“If you’re not interested, I can have the job posted and we can look for a candidate.”

“No, I’m interested,” I smiled.

“Good.  I know you’re the perfect one for that job, Claire.  It shows in your work ethic that you are capable of much bigger and better things.  Now, why don’t you get back to work and I will e-mail you all the details in a bit.”

“Thank you, Jack.  I really appreciate this opportunity,” I said. I stood up and headed to the elevators to head to my office.

I couldn’t believe how well my future looked at the hospital.  All of my hard work and dedication was really paying off.  I decided to keep it to myself until Jack made a formal announcement. 

Finally, the croissant found its way into my mouth. I almost swallowed the entire thing.  I had been up since three o’clock in the morning and couldn’t wait any longer to put something in my stomach.

I made it to Guatemala safely.  I love you and miss you already.

I felt relieved when I received that text from Alex.  Now the hard part began - occupying myself for the next seven days until he returned.  There was one place in my mind that I wanted to stop by after work – Mancini Dance Studio.

<><><>

I left work a bit early, since I had been there since the crack of dawn, anyway.  I parked in front of the dance studio and made my way inside.  Julietta was seated at the front desk like she normally was and jumped up, opening her arms to embrace me.

“Oh, my favorite dancer is here,” she said, giving me a hard hug, since we hadn’t seen one another in such a long time.  “Rumor has it that you are engaged to be married.  Let me see that beautiful ring,” she said, pulling my left hand in front of her and putting on her glasses so she could get a good look at my ring.  “It’s beautiful.  It’s almost as beautiful as you.  Congratulations,” she smiled.

“Thank you so much, Julietta.  I sure do miss you and this place,” I replied.

“Hey, what a surprise,” Stefano said as he walked into the studio.  “ I thought that was your car parked up front,” he said, throwing his arms around my waist and lifting me up.  “What brings you here?”

“I was in the neighborhood and thought I could visit you all.  Plus, I haven’t seen Julietta in ages.”

“I’m glad you’re here.  Can you hang around until my class is out?  Mandy will be here soon.  Maybe we can all grab a bite to eat or have a drink,” he said.

“Okay.  You convinced me,” I grinned.

I chit chatted with Julietta and brought her up to date on everything from the time I left the studio until the current events.  She seemed to be reliving her life through my story.  She sighed, “I’m so glad you’re happy,” she said, patting me on the back. 

Mandy was just as surprised to see me there when she walked in.  “Hey you!  What a nice surprise.  You’re staying, right?  Want to have dinner with us?”

When Stefano was done teaching the class, he asked again if I would be joining them for dinner.  I didn’t want to intrude on their time alone and was really tired from being up so early.

“Maybe next time.  I was up very early this morning taking Alex to the airport.  I think I should just head on home,” I said.

“Alex is out of town?” asked Stefano.

“Yeah.  He’s in Guatemala for a week for work,” I replied.

“I see.  Well, don’t be a stranger,” he winked.

“I won’t.  I promise,” I said, as I hugged everyone and promised to return again very soon.

<><><>

As soon as I got home, I took a long shower and warmed up a microwave dinner.  Alex would flip out if he saw me eating that crap, but I had a secret stash stored in the freezer for days like this.  When I turned the box over and read the ingredients, I realized why he was so against it. I couldn’t even pronounce one ingredient.

I barely got one bite into my mouth before I got a Skype call from Alex.  “Hey, baby.  What are you up to?”

“Not much.  Just having dinner.”

“Bon apetit.  What are you eating?” he asked.

“You’ll hate me if I tell you,” I replied.

“Why?” he chuckled.

I put the box against the screen so he could get a good look at the junk I was scarfing down into my stomach.

“That stuff is shit, baby.  I can’t wait to come back home so I can cook something decent for you to eat,” he said.

“I know, I know.  It’s been a long day and I’m starving.  Oh … I gotta tell you something.  Well, before I tell you, I want to let you know how sexy you look with your hair wet.  Anyway, Jack offered me a new position today,” I said.

“Nice.  First of all, thanks for the compliment, as I take seriously any compliment I receive from you.  So, what position?” he asked.

“VP of Business Services,” I replied.

“Wow,” his eyes widened.  “That’s great, baby!”

“I know.  I can’t believe it.  I’m not sharing it with anyone just yet – you know – until it’s official.”

“Got it.  I’m so proud of you, baby.  We’ll celebrate when I come back.  We’ll have my favorite kind of celebration – you know – just the two of us alone in the bedroom kind of celebration,” he grinned.

“I can’t wait.”

<><><>

That night, I had difficulty sleeping as predicted.  I tossed and turned for hours before I finally fell asleep, and when I did fall asleep, I woke up from that horrible nightmare.  With my heart pounding, my body drenched in sweat, I gave up on sleep and headed downstairs. 

I had forgotten my phone in the kitchen and noticed that I just received a text from Alex.

I don’t know about you, but I can’t sleep.  I wish you were here next to me.

    You’re not alone.  I can’t sleep either.  This night is full of nightmares.  I need you here.

My phone rang seconds later, “You know how I can tell you’re the one I want to spend the rest of my life with?” Alex asked.

“How?”

“I can’t sleep without you.  As exhausted as I am, I can’t sleep when you’re not next to me,” he confessed.

“Me too.  Please tell me you can come back a few days early,” I said.

“It doesn’t look that way this time, baby.  I may end up staying a day or two extra, but coming back early is out of the question.  We have a lot of cases.  I can’t complain because this is what I love to do - help children.   I just miss you like crazy.  You’re coming with me next year.  No excuses,” he commanded.

After my conversation with Alex, I was able to fall asleep comfortably.  It was as if I needed to talk to him one last time for the night to ease my mind into sleep.

<><><>

Jason showed up in my office the next morning with the biggest grin on his face.  His blond surfer hair was perfectly messy and his tan was bronzer than ever, making his green eyes even greener. 

“Guess what?” he began.

“You surfed this morning?” I said.

“Well, besides that.  You know I surf every morning.  My boss is not here today,” he beamed.

I laughed, “Congratulations.  I’m so happy for you.  Is she sick?” I asked.

“Sick?  No way.  That witch never gets sick.  She’s at some conference all day,” he inhaled big, “I feel like I can breathe,” he said.

“Good.  Now get out of my office and breathe somewhere else.  I have a lot of work to catch up on.”

“Yes ma’am.  Oh, Laura’s down for lunch today.  You coming?” he asked.

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world,” I replied, my eyes on the computer screen.

I met Laura and Jason for lunch at the Cuban deli.  I was very good about keeping the impending promotion quiet.  I wanted to make sure it was official before telling anyone.

Laura was glowing like I had never seen her glow before.  Her skin was even more flawless than before and there was an extra sparkle in her eyes.

“Jason, I forgot to get mustard.  Could you please grab one for me?” I asked.

When Jason got up to get mustard, I immediately began interrogating Laura.  “I’m going to ask you something and you can’t lie,” I began.  “Are you pregnant?”

Her eyes almost popped out of the sockets.  She nodded, applying her index finger over the lips to keep me quiet.  It took all my might to remain quiet throughout lunch because I knew she wasn’t announcing it yet.

Jason headed back to work after lunch and I walked Laura back to her department.  “Oh my God!  You can tell I’m pregnant?  Is my stomach that big?” she asked.

“It’s not your stomach.  It’s your face.  You have an extra glow and your eyes have an extra twinkle in them.  Dead giveaway,” I said.

“Great.  Now I’m going to be so self-conscious,” she pouted.

“Don’t be.  I swear I’m probably the only one who will notice until your belly starts to show.  I’m so happy for you and Robert,” I hugged her.

“I have something to tell you,” she began.  “I’m moving to San Diego.”

“What?”

“Robert got a job offer he couldn’t decline.  I got a job at the hospital there, too, so we’re moving soon,” she said.

“What will I do without you here?  You’re my first and closest friend in this hospital.  I’m going to miss you,” I said with a heavy heart.

“I’m going to miss you, too.  You and Alex have to come stay with us.  We have three bedrooms in our new place and it’s right in the center of town,” she said.

I nodded, still absorbing the good and bad news all at once.  I was happy for Laura, just selfish that I was going to miss my best friend at work.  I filled her in on my little secret about the new position.  She couldn’t be happier for me and told me over and over again how much I deserved it and how hard I had worked for it.

“This is only the beginning for you.  You’ll see, Claire.  One day you’re going to be the CEO of this place,” she said.

“You have so much faith in me, Laura.  From your mouth to God’s ears.”

Later that afternoon as soon as I returned from a meeting, Laney informed me that someone was waiting for me in my office.  “She didn’t state her name, but she said she’s family.  Maybe it’s your mother?”

I stepped into my office to find Isabelle, Alex’s mother, sitting on the guest chair across from my desk.  She stood up as soon as I entered the office.

“Hello, dear!  I wanted to surprise my beautiful daughter in law to be while I’m in town for a conference,” she said.

“What a surprise, Isabelle.  It’s great to see you,” I said.  “Laney, this is Dr. Isabelle Blake – Alex’s mother,” I introduced.

“I didn’t introduce myself to her because I wanted to really surprise you,” she said.

“Are you in town long?” I asked.

“Just for a few days.  Maybe we could have dinner tonight,” she said.

“I’d love to, Isabelle.  Alex is in Guatemala so he won’t be able to join us,” I replied.

“I’m not here to see Alex.  I know he’s not in town.  I thought we could have a ladies night out on me.  Could you meet me at Mastro’s Steakhouse in Beverly Hills at six o’clock?” she asked.

“Sure.  See you then,” I replied as she made her way out of my office.

Laney peeked her head in my office after Isabelle left, “Sorry, boss.  She really wouldn’t give me her name.  I thought she was your mother,” she apologized.

“No worries.  I know she can be pretty stubborn,” I chuckled.

<><><>

I left work a little early to make it to dinner on time with all the rush hour traffic.  I was still ten minutes late to the restaurant.  I handed my car and keys to the valet attendant and rushed inside the restaurant.  The hostess escorted me to the table Isabelle was seated at.

“There you are.  I was beginning to think you weren’t going to show up,” she said.

“Why wouldn’t I show up?” I asked, puzzled.

She shrugged, “No reason.  I ordered you a glass of wine.  I hope that’s okay,” she said, pointing at the glass of red wine placed in front of me.

“Thank you,” I said, taking a big gulp to calm down my nerves.

I began to have a bad feeling about this dinner and immediately lost my appetite.  But I didn’t want to let Isabelle see this.  I forced a smile and ordered a steak dish.  If I wasn’t mistaken, Isabelle looked more nervous than I did.  She kept rubbing her hands together and when she wasn’t doing that, she was constantly playing with her pearl necklace.

“Claire, I really wanted to meet with you tonight to talk about your future with my son,” she began.

“What about my future with Alex?” I asked.

“Our family is well known, especially back East,” she began.  “As you know, I’m a doctor, Richard is a surgeon and so is Alex.  Richard’s father and grandfather were well known surgeons as well.  And as you also know, Angela is a doctor,” she continued.

“Isabelle, where are you going with this?” I was beginning to lose patients with all the doctor and surgeon crap.

“What I’m trying to say is that you don’t fit in.  I know it may sound harsh, but you’re not a doctor.  Alex and Angela are meant to be.  They fit together perfectly.  I know you work hard and Alex talks about how wise you are, but you’re just not right for our family.  Please step aside and let them rekindle their love for each other,” she pleaded.

I shook my head in disbelief.  This is why she invited me out to dinner – to break up our engagement?  This woman wouldn’t stop at anything until she got what she wanted.  She pulled out a checkbook from her purse and began writing a check.  After she finished, she signed it quickly, ripped it out and handed it to me.

“What the hell is this?” I asked.

“It’s a check for a hundred thousand dollars,” she replied proudly.  “If you walk away from this engagement right now, you can have that money.  I’m sure you can use it on something important.”

“No!  Do you really think you can pay me a measly hundred grand to break it off with Alex?  If so, you’re crazy!” I said.

“Okay, okay,” she opened the checkbook and began writing again.  “I’m sorry if that amount didn’t satisfy you.  Here is my final offer,” she handed me a two hundred thousand dollar check.

“Not even one hundred million dollars could convince me to leave Alex.  I love him for more reasons than you will ever know.  News flash, Isabelle: you can’t buy people’s feelings just because you are made of money!” I shouted, tearing both checks into tiny pieces and throwing it in front of her.  I reached into my wallet and threw two hundred dollars on the table.  “Thank you for the invitation.  I hope this covers my share for this lovely evening,” I said as I charged out of the restaurant.

<><><>

On the drive home, I could hardly see where I was going from all the tears building up in my eyes.  I had never felt so small and unwanted in my life.  Isabelle made me feel like I was nothing, like a worthless peasant just because I wasn’t a physician.  How did Alex and Melissa grow up to be such amazing people from a psychotic mother like Isabelle?  I didn’t plan on telling Alex about this horrible evening.  He had enough things to worry about and I wasn’t about to add to them.  I missed him even more after the incident with his mother.

When I got home, I wasn’t hungry for anything.  I left the restaurant without even taking a bite out of that juicy steak.  When Alex called, I pretended everything was fine.

“I had dinner with your mother just now,” I said.

“My mother?  She’s in LA?”

“You sound just as surprised as I was when she showed up in my office,” I chuckled.

“Oh shit.  I’m sorry, baby.  How did it go?” he asked.

“It was great.  We went to Mastro’s in Beverly Hills and had a very nice dinner.  She’s in town for a conference.”

“Oh, I see.  I’m glad you had a nice time.  I miss you so much,” he said.

“I miss you, too.  Let’s get some sleep.  I’ll call you tomorrow,” I said.

“Is everything all right?” he asked.

“Yeah, everything is fine.  Why?”

“You sound a little down, that’s all.”

“I’m just so tired and sleep deprived.  I love you.  Talk to you tomorrow,” I said before hanging up. 

Of course it was a sleepless night.  I tossed and turned until I gave up on sleep and headed downstairs.  I turned on the television and channel surfed without finding anything to watch in the middle of the night.  I didn’t have any text messages from Alex, so I assumed he was asleep.  At least one of us was finally able to sleep.

The next afternoon, I headed to Jack’s office.  “Hi, Jack.  Could I speak with you for a minute?”

“Sure.  Come in and have a seat,” he said.

“I normally don’t take last minute time off, but there is something personal that I need to take care of.  Could I take a few days off and return on Monday?” I asked.

“Of course.  I hope everything is all right.  Is there anything I can help you with?” he asked.

“No.  But thank you for being an amazing boss.  I can’t wait to settle into my new position,” I smiled.

“Great!  I look forward to that, too.  Go on.  Take care of whatever it is you need to take care of and I will see you back here on Monday.”

I was so grateful to have such an understanding boss.  I headed home early, packed my suitcase and got on the first available flight to Guatemala.

<><><>

I was due to arrive in Guatemala City, Guatemala around nine o’clock at night their time.  I was glad I didn’t have to go to baggage claim, since I only had a carry on bag.  I rushed out of the airport as quickly as I could and flagged down a taxicab.  I pulled up a text message Alex had sent after checking in to the hotel on his first day in Guatemala.

I’m staying at the Westin, room 10-475, just in case you change your mind and decide to pay me a visit.

I laughed at that text message when I first received it.  How should I know that this little piece of information would be so useful?  I gave the name of the hotel to the cab driver and off we went.  My palms were beginning to sweat and my heart was beating fast.  I was both excited and nervous at the same time.

Crazy thoughts crossed my mind, such as Alex entertaining another woman.  I laughed in my mind at the insane thoughts then became serious again.  I imagined how I would react if I saw Alex with another woman.  What an awful feeling it would be.  I shook the stupid thoughts out of my head and made small talk with the cab driver, asking quite a few questions about the city and the main attractions.

The city was beautiful at night.  It reminded me a little bit of Los Angeles with tall buildings and hotels and plenty of bright lights.  I paid the driver after he came to a complete stop in front of the hotel.  He opened the trunk and retrieved my small suitcase and bid me good night.

I walked past the beautiful, large lobby inside the hotel and took a seat in a chair I found that was out of view just in case Alex was in the lobby.  I decided to send him a text message.

How was your day?  Did you miss me as much as I missed you?

Hey, baby! I was just thinking about you.  I got in about 10 minutes ago.  I miss you so much.  I really wish you were here or I was there.  I’m so tired, yet I can’t get a good night’s sleep without you in my arms.

I took the elevator to the tenth floor and decided to give Alex a call.  “Hi, baby.  Did you have a good day at work?” he asked.

“It was okay.  How about you?”

“I’ve been up since four this morning, but it was a successful day at the hospital.  I love putting a smile on those little faces.” I could hear him smile through the phone.  I made it to the door of his hotel room and knocked.  “Hold on, baby.  Someone’s at the door.  Hold on a second.” My heart was about to beat out of my chest from the anticipation as I heard his footsteps coming toward the door.  “I didn’t order room ser-” his jaw dropped when he saw it was I on the other side of the door.

“Surprise,” I smiled.

“I can’t believe my eyes,” he said, pulling me into the room and throwing my suitcase aside.  He gripped my waist wish both his hands, pulling me close to his body, his lips pressed hard against mine.  We kissed for minutes before we came up for air.

“I missed you so much, Alex.  I couldn’t take another night alone.”

He kissed me harder, his tongue pushing against mine.  I ran my fingers through his wet, freshly washed hair.  He smelled intoxicating.  He removed my top with one hand and unbuttoned my denim shorts with the other.

“I love it when you don’t wear a bra,” he whispered into my ear.  I could feel his warm breath travel through my ear all the way between my thighs, moistening my folds.

I pushed him onto the bed as I began to stroke him.  He moaned with pleasure when I added my mouth, taking it in all the way to the back of my throat.  I wasn’t going to let him come just yet.  I sat on top of him, easing him slowly into me as I arched my back.

“I must be dreaming,” he said, lifting up his chest, pulling me toward him and kissing me to assure he’s not dreaming.

I found myself on my back, his tongue between my thighs, and his fingers inside me.  My heart began to beat so quickly, a flash of heat shooting up to my ears.  His lips met mine again, but this time it was so gentle as if we were barely touching.  He eased himself into me as he moved my hair away from my neck so he could plant those soft, warm kisses on my moist skin.

I moved toward him and he moved deeper into me, quickening his pace.  “Come for me, baby,” he said.  With one last thrust, I began to convulse as I spiraled into an orgasm.  Alex moaned into my mouth as he spilled himself into me.

“This was the best surprise ever.  I don’t know how you’re ever going to top this,” he said, kissing my forehead.

“I’m sure I can think of something,” I replied.

Chapter 20

It was four in the morning when Alex woke up to rush back to the hospital for his missionary work.  My heavy eyelids didn’t allow me to open my eyes even for a few seconds.  I closed them and succumbed to sleep.  I refused to wake up only to end up an insomniac again.

After a few more hours of sleep, I felt good enough to get out of bed.  I had the entire day to myself, since Alex wouldn’t return until nine or ten o’clock at night.  I pulled the curtains open and let the sun shine in the room.  It looked like a beautiful, warm day in Guatemala City.

I stretched, did a good hour of yoga, showered, and began planning my day.  I flipped through the brochures and noticed a few sights that I wanted to see.  I headed down to the lobby and called a cab to go sightseeing.

My days in Guatemala were filled with many adventures.  I visited the Metropolitan Cathedral, the National Museum of Modern Art, and even went to the zoo.  I was just as tired as Alex at the end of the days, even though he was the one operating on children.  I took selfies and texted them to Jason and Laura.  Jason had a few things to say:

Aha, I see how it is.  We work like peasants and you have all the fun.  Enjoy it!  I just miss you around here.  Psycho boss is not in a good mood today.  God help me.

I’m sorry.  I will continue to send you pictures of how much fun I’m having here.  I’m sure you will feel a lot better.  Haha.

You’re an evil woman.

So I’ve been told.  Gotta go have some more fun.

I visited Alex at the hospital where he did his missionary work.  The team of surgeons he worked with had all gathered up for a photo with some of the children they had performed a cleft palate repair on.  Alex proudly introduced me to everyone as his fiancé.  My mind kept replaying the words that Isabelle had said to me at the restaurant, “You don’t fit in.”

Those words felt like a stab in my heart.  I kept telling myself that I was good enough for Alex, even though I wasn’t a physician or a surgeon or a freaking neuroscientist.  I knew Alex couldn’t care less what I did for a living, but Isabelle’s words had a way of haunting me.

“You okay?” he asked.

“Yeah.  Why?”

“You just look a little upset, that’s all,” he replied.

“Oh, no, I’m just tired and a little dazed.  I should probably get back to the hotel,” I said, kissing him quickly and allowing him to go back to work.

Alex had a great idea for my last day in Guatemala while he worked.  “Baby, you should go to the spa.  I hear they have a great spa here at the hotel.  I’ve never checked it out, since I only work when I come here, but there’s quite a bit of happy clients that say so.”

“Hmm… I will get a facial and a massage.  That would be the perfect way to end my stay here,” I replied.

I did spend my last day at the spa.  It was exactly what I needed after all the running around and sightseeing I did for days.  I didn’t want my last night in Guatemala to end.  I snuggled close to Alex when he returned from the hospital, my fingers entwined with his as I nuzzled his neck, inhaling his scent.  He smelled intoxicating after the hot shower he took.

It was when my lips headed toward his when I realized he had fallen asleep.  He was so tired that he couldn’t even stay awake for another minute.  I fell asleep shortly after realizing he was out like a light, but was awakened by warm kisses on my lips.  I knew Alex wouldn’t let me go home without making love to me one last time while I was there. Passion replaced sleep for the next hour before we returned back to the peaceful place we were in.  We lay there listless, our bodies entwined like ivy leaves.

<><><>

After a delayed, turbulent flight, I finally made it home in one piece.  I texted Alex to let him know I made it.  As much as I liked Guatemala, it was so nice to be back home.

By the time I entered my office on Monday morning, Jack called and asked me to go to his office.  He wanted me to begin my new role as soon as next week.

When I hesitated, he asked, “Have you changed your mind?”

“No, no, not at all.  I’m just concerned about who will fill my position and the training that goes with it, that’s all,” I replied.

“Don’t worry about that.  Everything will be taken care of.  The VP position has been vacant longer than your current position.  It’s crucial that we move you as soon as possible,” he said.

“Will someone be training me?” I asked.

“I don’t have anyone to train you, but I’m confident you can handle it.  This is going to be an amazing learning experience for you,” he confessed.

I nodded.  I didn’t want to ask any further questions or reveal my anxiety about being thrown into a position without training.  I kept telling myself that I could do it.  I wasn’t going to fail.  Failure did not exist in my vocabulary.

“Good.  I will send an announcement email shortly,” he said, looking up at me from the top of his glasses.

Jason was relieved that my future office was not much further than my current one.  He could still visit and hide from Bertha when he needed to.  I was happy about that, too.  It would be easier to adjust to such a big change when the people I was close and comfortable with were nearby.

Just as I was thinking about those who I feel close and comfortable with, my brother Calvin sent a text message.

Hey sissy, heard you guys are in Guatemala.  Chad and I wanted to hang out.  I haven’t seen you in a while.

Hey!  Actually, I’m back.  Alex is still there for a few more days.  I would love to see you guys.

We’re going to mom and dad’s tonight if you want to swing by.  I’m sure mom won’t mind your surprise appearance.  She must think you’re still in Guatemala.

Great! I’ll be there at 7.  See you then.

I ran into Taryn in the elevator on the way to my car.  She was dressed in a tight black v-neck top and very tight black pants.  Her heels were so high, I wondered how she didn’t trip, fall, and break her neck walking around in those things all day long in the hospital.  Her hair was bleached blonder than ever and her tan a darker shade of orange.  I always thought I got really dark in the summer until I met Taryn.

She dug her hand in her bra and pulled her breasts closer together, magnifying her cleavage.  “How is everything?  Is Alex back yet?” she asked.

“No,” I said, unable to peel my eyes away from her half bare breasts that were spilling out of her clothing.  “He’ll be back on Thursday.”

“Oh, that’s too bad.  I thought maybe you two could join Mark and I at The Lobster in Santa Monica,” she said.

“Sounds like you two have nice plans for the evening.  Have a great time,” I said, heading to my car.

“Thank you,” she smiled.  Taryn Simmonds was not the same woman I met when I accepted my first job at the hospital.  It seemed like Mark had a good influence on her.  Maybe that was all she needed; a man to love her.

<><><>

Calvin and Chad were already at my parents’ house when I got there.  My parents didn’t know I was going to pay a visit.  We decided to keep it a surprise because I knew my mother would get so excited when she opened the door to find me on the other side.

“Hi, Sweetheart!  What a nice surprise,” she pulled me inside and planted a kiss on my cheek.  “Your brother and Chad are here.”

I headed inside and found Calvin and Chad on the sofa watching a ball game.  My father was in the office and on the phone as usual.

“We’ll wait for your father to finish up so we can sit down and have dinner together,” my mother said, making her way into the kitchen to finish up.

Growing up, I always liked to help my mother in the kitchen.  I would clear the table after we ate and loaded the dishwasher.  I would do anything not to do homework.  Things changed a lot when I grew up.  Now, I would rather do homework or write an essay than do housework.

Another thirty minutes went by before my father was off the phone and out of the office.  “Well, well, if it isn’t my beautiful daughter,” he said as he hugged me and kissed my cheek.

“Finally, dad,” Calvin came into the kitchen, his hand over his stomach.  “We’re starving.”

“I’m sorry.  You guys could’ve started without me.  I wouldn’t have minded,” said my father.

Dinner was rather quiet.  Calvin wasn’t lying about starving.  He was eating so fast, he looked like he needed to come up for air.  Chad seemed too shy to eat like Calvin in front of all of us, since he hadn’t been dating my brother for too long.  I was really looking forward to the chocolate ice cream I had seen in my mother’s freezer.  I waited until everyone was finished with dinner before I served it.

“Chad and I have decided to move in together,” Calvin began.

My father raised an eyebrow, but didn’t say anything.

“I know what you guys are going to say, but Chad already graduated and has accepted a well paying job and I only have a year to go before I’m done with school.  Hopefully I can land a great job right out of college, too,” he explained.

“Well, you’re both grown men now.  If you feel you’re ready for that, then we won’t step in your way,” my mother expressed her opinion.

My father nodded, “Yeah.  Whatever your mother said,” he dug his spoon back into his ice cream.

I threw my hands up in the air, “Hey, that’s awesome.  I love living with Alex, so I’m all for living with the one you’re in love with.”

“Speaking of Alex, tell him we said hello,” Calvin said.

“I sure will,” I replied, as I helped my mother clear the table.

<><><>

I called Alex to let him know I was on my way home.  He had just stepped inside his hotel room and was so exhausted that taking a shower seemed like a big task.

“Just a few more days, Alex.  Then you’ll be home and I’ll be in your arms in our own bed.” I could hear a smile on his face through the receiver.

“I can’t fucking wait to do naughty things to you,” he whispered.

“Neither can I.”

After I hung up, I called Katherine to see how she was doing. She wasn’t such a happy camper.

“How do you think I’m doing?  This baby that’s growing inside of me has taken complete control of my body.  I can’t eat.  I can’t drink.  All I do is puke my guts out all day long.  This isn’t how I’m supposed to plan my wedding,” she sobbed.  I tried comforting her as best I could, but she wasn’t budging.  She was hating life.

“At least your bridal gown is glamorous.” I tried to make her laugh, but she only chuckled a little.  “I’m sure the morning sickness will go away by the time you walk down the isle.  I’m here if you need me.”

It wasn’t such a bad night after all.  I didn’t have any nightmares, although I tossed and turned quite a bit.   However, I did manage to get a few good hours of deep sleep and even overslept the next morning.

I was kicking myself on the drive to work.  The oversleeping put me in the worst morning traffic ever.  I called my assistant, Laney, to let her know I would be late to my morning meeting.

Thirty minutes late to my meeting, with no coffee, and no breakfast wasn’t the worst part of that morning.  I had the pleasure of opening my email to find one from Mark Kohler.

Good Morning,

I hope you’re doing well with Alex out of town and all.  I just wanted to check on you and make sure things are ok.  I hope he’s not having too much fun in Guatemala.  Maybe you should have a little fun, too.  Just a thought… 

Mark

Just when I thought he was not so disgusting after all, this email comes along to prove me wrong.  I didn’t want to give him the pleasure of a reply.  Taryn peeked her head into my office as she was walking by.  I immediately closed the email so she wouldn’t see it.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” she asked.

“Nothing.  I’m just really busy.  How are you?”

“Good.  Why do I get the feeling that you just hid something on your computer from me?” she narrowed her eyes at me.

“Oh, it’s just some confidential salary information.  For my eyes only,” I replied quickly.

“Hmm.  Well, I’ll see you around, I guess,” she said before heading out.

I inhaled deeply after she was gone.  All I needed was Taryn to think Mark and I had something going on.  Ugh.  Never in a million years would I even think about Mark Kohler in that way.  I wished the two of them would get married, move far, far away, and live happily ever after.

That evening, less than ten minutes before I got home, the guard at the gate called to inform me about a delivery.  I opened the door to a beautiful arrangement of roses.

To my beautiful fiancé,

I miss you more than words can say.  I hope these roses keep you company for another night while I’m gone.  Patiently waiting to hold you in my arms again.

Love,

Alex

I inhaled the fresh scent of the roses and put the arrangement in the center of the dining room table.  I left Alex a voicemail message, telling him how much I loved the flowers.  I knew he wouldn’t respond anytime soon, since he was still at the hospital.

I microwaved a frozen meal, which tasted like rubber chicken.  After taking a few bites, I realized it was pretty gross and threw out the rest.  I took a long, warm bath, twisted my wet hair into a bun and planted myself on the couch with my electronic reading device in my hand.

I ended up falling asleep while reading and when I woke up it was midnight.  Alex hadn’t returned my calls or text messages.  I began to worry about him.  There must be an emergency at the hospital, I thought.  I continued to read, waiting for him to at least send a text message to let me know he was working late.  All I read was words, without the information registering in my mind because my mind was elsewhere.

He wouldn’t be out with another woman, would he?  I shook that thought out of my head, since I had seen how hard he worked in Guatemala and how busy the team was.  He didn’t even have much time for me, let alone another woman.  I laughed at myself for even thinking such a stupid thought.

Another hour went by and I found myself dozing off on the couch.  I could no longer keep my eyes open.  The ringer on my phone was on the loudest setting, so I knew I wouldn’t miss a call or text from him.  I succumbed to sleep after a long, hard battle.

I dreamed of Alex running his fingers through my hair as I continued to sleep on the sofa.  He pressed his soft lips against mine and caressed my cheek with the top of his hand.  I realized that it wasn’t a dream.  It was really Alex.

“Hey,” he whispered.  “You were sleeping so soundly that I didn’t want to disturb you.”

I smiled, holding his hand that he used to trace against my cheek, “I was worried about you.”

“Let’s go to bed,” he stood up and took my hand and helped me up the stairs.

I felt happy and content once again.  Alex was home, in my bed, and holding me in his arms.  It was where I felt safe.  We were both too tired to do anything aside from talking and catching up.

“Do you know what I’m going to do tomorrow while you’re at work?” he asked.

“What’s that?”

“I’m going to cook real food for you to eat,” he replied.

I laughed, “I knew you were going to spoil me with healthy food as soon as you got back.”

I watched his chest rise and fall as he slept.  He was so tired that he couldn’t even keep a conversation going.  I kissed his cheek softly, “Goodnight, Alex.”

<><><>

Jack sent out an announcement email regarding my promotion to Vice President of Business Services.  It was really beginning to sink in that I was climbing that ladder I always wished I would climb.  I filled a box with some of my belongings to move them to my new office, which wasn’t too far from my current one.

As I was heading to the Business Services department, I heard my name.  No one was calling my name, but I heard it in a conversation.  The term “gold digger” mentioned in the same sentence as my name didn’t sit right with me.  I slowed down just before I reached the sitting area between the Admitting and Business department.

I didn’t turn the corner so I wouldn’t be seen by anyone.  I could hear Aracely Calderon, the department administrator of Hematology and Oncology.  She was in a deep conversation about me with Maggie Harper, the department administrator of Cardiology.

“She only got that promotion because she’s Dr. Blake’s whore.  And now she’s going to marry him and move even further up.  Wouldn’t be surprised if they announced her to be the next CEO in a month,” Aracely expressed.

“Tell me about it,” Maggie pitched in her thoughts.  “How lucky is she?  She doesn’t even have to work after she marries him.  I heard his family is loaded beyond belief.”

My mouth dropped open in disgust.  I was so angry that I wanted to rush to where they were seated and give them my two cents.  I wanted to yell and scream at them and tell them how wrong they were about me.  Just then I felt a hand on my shoulder.  I turned to find Taryn right behind me.

“Don’t stoop to their level.  They’re obviously jealous of you.  Just pretend you didn’t see or hear anything and use what you heard as a reminder that you cannot trust them,” she said.

I nodded and turned the corner, smiling at those two, “Good afternoon, ladies,” I said, as I walked past them with the box still in my hand and delivered it to my new office.  I felt sick to my stomach.  It’s one thing when people gossip about you, but to hear it with your own ears has to be the worst.

Taryn was right; this was a good reminder that I couldn’t trust those two.  I would continue to kill them with kindness.  I was going to be so nice to them that they were going to feel awful for the horrible things they said about me.  Gold digger?  Really? Of all the terrible things someone could say about me, I think “gold digger” stung the most.

That afternoon, I received an email that I was invited to a three-day upper management team building conference that would be held at the St. Regis in Dana Point.  Taryn and Jason would be going as well, since they were both upper management.

“I know that place like the back of my hand,” Taryn began.  “They host it at the same location every single year.  It’s really nice, though.”

“I went last year,” said Jason.  “It was pretty cool.  We had a lot of down time in the evenings so we could enjoy a nice dinner and drinks.  But during the day it’s packed with tons of information including motivational speakers.”

“Well, I guess it’ll be fun since we’re all going to be there,” I replied.

<><><>

That Friday night, Alex and I headed to Malibu after work.  Alex wasn’t to return back to the hospital until Monday.  He was still recovering from his missionary trip and spoiling me with great gourmet food and a lot of amazing sex.

He poured a glass of wine for both of us, which we enjoyed on the roof as we relaxed to the sound of the waves.  “This has to be one of the most beautiful sunsets I have seen yet,” I said, absorbing the beauty of the sun taking a rest until morning.

“It’s not as beautiful as you.  Cheers,” he said, holding his glass to mine.

“Cheers.”

“Angela called me today.  I should probably wait for you to finish a few glasses of wine before I tell you what she’s up to,” he said.

I put my glass down and sat up.  “I don’t like the sound of that.  What’s going on?”

“Like I said – you should drink a few glasses before I tell you,” he suggested again.

“Tell me what, Alex?  Are you two getting back together?” I asked, recalling how his mother asked me to take the check and step out of the way to let Alex and Angela rekindle their relationship.  My palms began to sweat as my heart began to pound.

“What? No, we’re not getting back together,” he chuckled.  “Hell no, Angela and I are never getting back together,” he shook his head.

“Then what is it?”

“She’s going to work at Downtown Memorial,” he wrinkled his nose.

“What?!” I exclaimed.

“She will be across the street mostly.  She will be in the clinic, so you will hardly see her.”

“That’s wonderful.  She will be in the clinic, where you work in the afternoons.  How convenient,” I rolled my eyes.  “I’m really glad that she picked herself back up, got off the drugs, went to rehab, and is brand new again.  Don’t get me wrong – I was really concerned about her.  I just didn’t expect her to take a job at the hospital in which her ex-husband practices.  Oh, not to mention that her ex-husband’s fiancé works there, too.  Ugh.”  I stood up and walked to the elevator.

“Where are you going?” he asked.

“To get more alcohol.”

I didn’t know what Isabelle and Angela were up to, but a bad feeling rushed over me and filled my veins with extreme anxiety.  I filled a large glass with water and sipped on it.  I could hear Alex walk into the kitchen.

“I thought you were going to grab some more wine,” he said.

“I changed my mind.  I don’t think I should drink anymore.  You can have some if you’d like.” I said.

He put his hands gently on my shoulders, “Look, baby, I know you’re upset.  I’m not happy about her working there either.  But there’s nothing I can do about it.  I don’t make the rules of where she can practice.  You just have to trust me,” he said, looking into my eyes.  “Do you trust me?”

I nodded and whispered, “Yes.  Of course.”

“Good.  I love you, not Angela.  Is that clear?”

I nodded again.  I believed Alex because I knew deep in my heart he was finished with Angela.  He had moved on with me and only me.  I just wished my anxiety would stop taking a hold of me.

He moved my hair away from my face using the tips of his fingers as he planted a smooth kiss on my lips.  He held me against his chest, one hand on the back of my head and the other on the small of my back.  I felt safe again at that moment, but knew that once he let go, I would feel the way I did a minute ago.

“You’re the only woman who has the power to make me weak inside.  Only you,” he confirmed.

“You always know what to say, Alex.”

“I mean everything I say to you.  Angela and I are divorced.  It’s over.  It’s actually more than over and she knows it,” he confirmed.

I wanted to tell him that his mother didn’t get the memo.  She was still under the impression that her son was going to rekindle his love for his ex once I stepped out of his life.

“Let’s get some sleep.  I have a little surprise planned for tomorrow,” he said.

“What is it?” I asked.

“It won’t be a surprise is I tell you about it now, would it?” he replied.

“Okay, fine.  I will wait until tomorrow,” I pouted.

<><><>

Alex’s surprise arrived the following day just before the sunset.  He had hired a photographer to take engagement photos of us on the beach.  A makeup artist came along with the photographer.  Alex had purchased a white sundress for me, which he had hidden secretly in his closet.  He dressed in all white; a pair of linen pants and a matching white linen shirt and flip flops on his feet.

The makeup artist applied very mild makeup on my face and fixed my hair just enough to give me a beach girl look.  We had a small window of time for perfect pictures as long as the sun was still setting.

Our photo shoot was so much fun.  The photographer took many pictures of Alex and I having a great time walking on the beach.  He took some serious photos as well, of course.

“And, it’s a wrap,” he said after capturing as many moments as he possibly could.  “I will contact you once the proofs are available so you can place your order,” he said.

“Thanks, Max.  I’m looking forward to seeing those,” said Alex.

“This was the perfect surprise, Alex.” I said after everyone left.

“I wasn’t sure if you’d be up for it after how upset you were last night,” he said.

“It kept my mind off of everything.  And we need nice engagement photos anyway.  Great surprise.”

“And since we’re dressed so nicely, we are going to Martina’s for dinner and live music,” he replied.

Alex said the magic word.  Martina’s had to be my favorite place in Malibu.  Not only was it on the beach, but the live band was awesome and so was the food.  I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him until my lips were tired.  “You are the best boyfriend ever.”

“Boyfriend?” he asked.

“Oh, I mean fiancé.  Sorry, my sexy husband to be,” I said, pulling his hand toward the garage.  “Warm up that Ferrari and I’ll let you warm up my engine tonight,” I winked.

“Whoa.  I like this feisty fiancé of mine,” he grinned, his hand spanking my bottom.

My favorite band was playing at Martina’s.  Alex ordered for both of us, since he knew more about quality food than me.  The drinks kept coming and we kept drinking.

When the band stopped playing, the lead singer began to speak, “We have a special couple here tonight.  Claire and Alex are celebrating their engagement.  Alex has a few words for you, Claire.  Could you please come up to the stage?”

I looked at Alex, my eyes wide, “Alex, what is this?”

He only grinned as he took my hand and pulled me up to the stage.  As we stepped onto the stage, he continued to hold my hand tightly, taking the microphone in his hand.  The pianist began to play a tune I recognized pretty well.  I wasn’t sure what was going to happen.  Was Alex going to sing to me?  Before I could add any further questions in my mind, he began to sing.

I was completely shocked and surprised by Alex’s vocal ability.  It took a few moments for me to figure out which song he began to sing.  It was “Drowning” by Backstreet Boys.  By the middle of the song, I was in tears.  What other surprises did this man have in store for me in the future?  Just when I thought I knew everything about him, there was something else hidden I had no idea of.

The lead vocalist took the microphone back from Alex, “Congratulations to a beautiful couple.  If you’re ever looking for a weekend gig, you can sing with me for sure,” she said to Alex.  The crowd cheered and congratulated us.

“That was amazing.  How did you know that I love that song?  I never told you that before.  And you never told me you could sing like a professional.  That was the most special thing anyone has ever done for me.  Thank you, Alex.”

“I found it on one of your playlists.  I meant every word in that song.  You can thank me at home,” he whispered into my ear.

The drive home was quiet.  We sat quietly, fingers entwined with mine.  Thank God it was a very short drive to his house from the restaurant.  I couldn’t wait to have his hands all over my body.

Once inside the house, he unzipped my dress as it dropped to the floor.  His clothes didn’t seem to be coming off fast enough.  I felt a jolt of heat between my thighs as his lips met mine.  I parted my lips, allowing his tongue to dance with mine.  His kisses trailed from my lips to my neck and down to my breasts.  His tongue ran circles around my nipples.  I wanted him inside me.

“I want to feel you inside out,” he said.

“Please do,” I replied, short of breath.

He was on top of me, inside me and I ignited into flames.  He moved into me as I arched my back and pulled him deeper inside.  He moaned into my mouth as my nails dug into his back.  I shouted his name as I came, feeling him spill his love into me.  We crashed into each other like the waves crash into the shore and fell asleep with our bodies entwined like ivy leaves.

Chapter 21

The two and a half hour drive to the St. Regis was painful, especially since I began work before seven o’clock that morning.  My laptop was going with me.  I was slowly beginning to ease into my new position and had so much information to absorb and ideas to create that the three days at the conference meant working from the hotel every night into the wee hours of the mornings.

When I pulled up to the front of the hotel, I was taken back by the beauty and design of the resort.  It sat right by the ocean, surrounded by a lush green golf course.  It looked exactly like a place I’d love to stay with Alex.

I pulled up to the front where the valet attendant was located.  “Will you be staying here at the hotel?” he asked.

“Yes.”

I gave him my name and let him know my bags were in the trunk.  He handed me the valet ticket and handed my bags to the man at the bell desk.  While checking in, I stretched out my arms.  The drive up to the hotel had me rusty.  As my arms were up and open wide, someone tickled my underarms and I jumped.  I turned quickly to find Jason laughing.

“Ugh, Jason!  I’m the most ticklish person in the world.  Don’t ever do that again,” I pressed my palm against his chest and pushed him away, keeping my arms down and close to my body to avoid any further tickle episodes.

“Then don’t ever stretch like that in front of me.  I won’t be able to help myself.  Especially now that I know how much you hate it,” his evil chuckle followed.

Jason had changed from his work attire into a pair of relaxed fit jeans, a white t-shirt and flip-flops on his feet.  He had the perfect image of a surfer with his blond, sun damaged hair and very dark gold real tan, which made his teeth appear even whiter than they already were.

I waited for him to get checked in so we could walk to the elevators together.  I looked around and absorbed the beauty of the resort.  The lobby included a huge, large round area surrounded by a beautiful circular staircase.  A black grand piano sat next to the bottom of the staircase under an enormous crystal chandelier.

“All right.  All checked in,” Jason said, pulling the paperwork out of my hand to see which floor and room I was on.  Our rooms were on the same floor, just a few doors down from each other.

Before we could even begin walking to the elevators, a woman’s voice stopped us.  “Yoo hoo!” There stood Taryn in a top that covered less than twenty percent of her breasts and the shortest shorts I had ever seen in my entire life.  Her hair was freshly bleached and her tan looked a fresh tint of orange.  Her makeup was heavy; especially her mascara.  Her perfume must have been poured on instead of sprayed on.

“Oh my,” mumbled Jason.

“Holy Jesus,” I said.

“Hey, Taryn,” Jason began, his eyes trying to stay on her face instead of her bust.  “Are you heading to a club?”

“No,” she pouted.  “But I hear there’s another conference here this week.  Hot lawyers drive me insane,” she adjusted her breasts.  “Who’s down to hit the bar?”

“I’m not sure if Mark would like you taking a hot lawyer back home with you,” I said.

“Oh, please.  I’m not taking anyone home with me.  It’s all about flirting and having a good time.  Like Mark doesn’t do that kind of stuff when I’m not around.”

She did have a point there.  He continuously sent me flirtatious emails although he knew of my engagement to Alex.  But Taryn didn’t need to know that.  I had it under control.

Neither one of us seemed to be interested in hanging out with Taryn.  Her desire for a one-night stand with an unknown male oozed from her being.  I told her we should all check in, unpack and get organized before heading downstairs.  I wasn’t there to drink.  I was there to attend the conference for the next three days and work in the evenings in the comfort of my hotel room.  And I was tired – really, really tired.

We waited for Taryn to check in and discovered her room was one level below ours.  I was very satisfied with my room.  The beautiful ocean view, large bedroom, living room and huge bathroom with an oval shaped bathtub sure made me look forward to my temporary sanctuary.  But I already missed Alex and wished he was with me.  My heart sank when I thought about Angela working in the same building as him in the afternoons.  My self esteem suddenly hit the floor.

I unpacked my things, changed into a pair of jeans, and called Jason to see if he was ready to head down.  “Yup. Just knock on my door on the way to the elevator and I’ll be out,” he said.

As Jason and I were walking through the lobby, I saw Aracely and Maggie checking in.  I disliked those two in a way that I didn’t dislike anyone.  Hearing them talk about me, calling me a gold digger was permanently recorded in my ears.  I could never look at them the same way again.

But my goal was to kill them with kindness, and that was exactly what I did.  “Hello, beautiful ladies.  How are you?” I asked.

“Good.  You?” asked Aracely.

“I’m doing great.  I hope to have a few drinks with you girls during our stay here,” I smiled.

They hesitated a “yes.”  I knew that I would win those two over with my kindness.  I hated putting on a show and pretending, but it was all a game and I refused to lose.  Bitches.

Jason and I scoped out the place before it went completely dark.  We enjoyed a few appetizers at the bar, listened to the pianist as he moved his magic fingers across the keys and called it a night.

Jack had asked me to prepare a presentation of my business ideas in my new position.  I was confident with what I had created, but wanted to read over the slides one last time for the final approval.

<><><>

Although the attire for the conference was casual, I wanted to make sure I dressed conservatively casual.  The last thing I wanted to do was look like Taryn in her daisy dukes and plunging neckline.

Alex had sent a text message very early in the morning.

Good morning, baby.  It was a rough night without you in bed with me.  I miss you already.  I can’t wait until you’re back.

Good morning, handsome.  I tossed and turned all night, too.  It’s a given, though.  I can never sleep without you holding me.  We’ll talk tonight.  Love you!

Receiving a text from Alex at any time of the day always put a smile on my face.  I dressed quickly, made sure I had some color on my cheeks, and combed my hair for the millionth time.

I was glad my presentation would be first thing in the morning at the conference, so I wouldn’t get any more anxious that I already was.  Jack introduced me as the new Vice President of Business Services and everyone applauded - everyone but Aracely and Maggie.

The incident actually gave me more courage and strength for a better presentation and I did one hundred times better than I thought I would.  I presented for over thirty minutes and answered questions to the best of my knowledge.

After I finished, I received another round of applause.  “Thank you, Claire Morgan,” Jack said, taking the stand as I walked away.  “I can’t wait to see those ideas develop,” he smiled.

The remainder of the day was filled with teambuilding strategies and workshops.  I didn’t realize how quickly time was passing by.  Before I knew it, dinnertime had already arrived.  A buffet was provided with delicious Italian food.  The food was almost as good as Alex’s cooking, but it needed more work to taste as delicious as his.

I couldn’t stop thinking about Alex and the possibility of Angela trying to seduce him in his office.  The thoughts were driving me insane.  I stepped out and called him.

“Hi, baby,” he answered.

“Hey,” I replied quietly.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” a quick reply from me.

“You sound down.  Did something happen?” he asked, more concern in his tone.

“No, nothing happened.  I just miss you,” I confessed.

He sighed, “I miss you, too.  And if it’ll make you feel better, I didn’t see or speak to Angela at all today.”

“Oh.  Okay.”

“That’s why you sounded down, baby.  I can read you like an open book,” he said.

I felt so much better after speaking with Alex.  I enjoyed the rest of my dinner with a calm mind.  The crazy thoughts about Angela showing up in Alex’s office dressed only in black lace lingerie left my mind - at least for a little while.  I knew that woman was up to something no good.

Jason was rather quiet for the rest of the evening.  He seemed to have something on his mind.  One thing Jason Hartley wasn’t – was quiet.  He always had something to say or express his opinion, but something seemed to be eating him.  I let it go during dinner and decided I would address it later that evening over a drink.

But Jason wasn’t up for a drink or a chat.  He said he was too tired and was going to spend the rest of the evening in his room.  I gave up trying to figure out the reason for his sudden mood change and headed to my room, took out my laptop and focused on work.  Fruit from the room service menu would have to do for the rest of the night.

The following day was a long one.  I didn’t get much sleep because - not only was Alex not next to me - but because I got sucked into my laptop until two in the morning.  The more ideas and projects I came up with, the less chances of a good night’s sleep.

    “I heard Taryn was awfully friendly with the young attorneys last night,” Jason whispered into my ear as I took a seat next to him in the conference room.  “She supposedly had less clothing on than when she arrived,” he chuckled.

“Really?”  How would she feel if Mark did that to her?  Well, I’m sure Mark did that to her all the time because he was a pervert, but still.  “I’m glad we weren’t there.”

Jason didn’t do much talking the rest of the day.  I could feel Aracely and Maggie’s eyes on me every time I was in their view.  I smiled a few times when I caught them staring with hatred.  My smile seemed to make them uncomfortable.

“What are you going to do after the conference?” I asked Jason.

“Uh, I’m going to head to my room.  I need to make a phone call,” still down and depressed, Jason seemed to have something going on.

“You wanna talk about it?”

“Not today, Claire.”

“If you’re having girl problems, maybe I can help.”

“Let me make a phone call and I’ll meet you at the bar in an hour,” he tried to crack a smile.

“I give great advice,” I winked.

I headed up to my room and called Alex.  He didn’t answer, so I figured he was probably busy.  He was probably busy talking to Angela as she slid her tongue down his throat.  I shook the crazy thoughts out of my head and jumped when my phone rang. 

“Hey,” I answered.

“Hey yourself,” his deep voice instantly input dirty thoughts into my mind.

“Did you have a good day at work?” That was my way of asking if he had been seduced by his ex – or even worse – if he had seduced her.

“I will answer that question after my last patient,” he replied.  “God, I miss you, Claire,” he sounded so genuine.  It was a confirmation in my brain that he hadn’t crossed the line and let Angela in.  “Let me see my last patient and I’ll call you on my way to the gym.”

<><><>

I knocked on Jason’s door to let him know it was time to head down to the bar.  He was on the phone when he opened the door.  “Hey, I’ll meet you there in ten,” he said, covering the receiver.  Why were his eyes red?  Had he been crying?  I wanted to ask, but I didn’t.

“Okay,” I nodded.  “Don’t be late,” I whispered and headed toward the elevator.  I would spend my last evening chatting with Jason and then relaxing in the big oval bathtub.  I ordered a few appetizers once I was settled at the bar.  I looked at the time on my phone.  It had been almost twenty minutes since I knocked on Jason’s door.  Where was he?

Before I could think any further, he took a seat next to me.  “What are we drinking?”

“I was about to leave.  I didn’t think you’d make it.  What’s eating you?” I could see his eyes were red and a bit swollen.  I know he had been crying.  “You need to talk about it.”

“I’m okay.  Relationship stuff.  I’m fine,” he answered.

“Aha.  I knew it.  Who is she?  What happened?”

“I’m just going through a rough patch with someone I’ve been with for quite some time,” he replied.

“Does this someone have a name?” I asked.

“Yeah…uh…Sally,” he replied.

“I see.  Mr. Bachelor has a girlfriend.  That’s so sweet, Jason.  So, what’s the trouble with Sally?” Gosh, why was I so damn nosey?

“It’s complicated,” he said before he turned to the bar tender and ordered a scotch on the rocks.  “What are you drinking?”

“I’m good with my iced tea.”  There was no way I was drinking around my colleagues and making a fool out of myself.

“Cool.  I’ll drink for both of us,” he said and held his glass up to mine.  “Cheers.”

Jason was on his third glass of scotch before I told him to tone it down.  I knew he was feeling down, but it was no excuse to get drunk in front of all those people.  “Jason, I think it’s time for you to call it a night,” I said when I noticed he didn’t need to drink anymore.

He chugged down the last glass of scotch.  “Hey, wait, can I have a hard iced tea, please?”

“I don’t think you want to drink that, Jason,” I warned.

“Don’t worry, Claire girl.  It’s to go,” he winked and closed the tab for both of us when the bartender handed him the hard iced tea.  I could smell the hard alcohol in that glass from a distance.

I walked him to the elevators where I saw Taryn.  She looked worried when she saw Jason’s bloodshot eyes.  “I’m going to make sure he gets to his room,” I said.

“Oh, okay.  Good.  I’m going to hit the bar,” she said.  Of course she was going to hit the bar and find a man for the night.

Once we made it to the door of Jason’s room, I asked him for the key.  He looked at me as if I was speaking a foreign language that he didn’t quite understand.

“The key, Jason.  K-e-y.  The thing that opens this door.”

“Oh, yeah.  Uh…it’s here somewhere,” he dug into his pocket and handed the key card to me.  “You’re so nice,” he said with a half drunk grin.  He was holding the hard iced tea so tightly, I was afraid to ask him to let go of it.  It was in a gigantic glass, too.  I wondered why the bartender didn’t give it to him in a smaller glass.  The larger the glass, the more alcohol it contained.  Jason was almost drunk at that point.  That glass of hard tea was going to send him to hell and make him even more depressed than he already was over that Sally girl.

Jason set the glass of alcohol on the ground next to the door and took the key card from my hand as I was trying to unlock the door.  A second later, I found myself against the wall next to the door with Jason’s lips on mine, his body pressed against mine firmly.  I pushed him off, but he pulled me again, this time kissing me harder, his hand gripping my ass.  I pushed him off so hard that he fell to the ground.

“What the fuck, Jason!” I yelled, slapping him back to sobriety as he stumbled to pick himself off the ground.

“I’m s-s-so s-sorry.  I can’t believe I d-did that,” he said, finally collecting himself from the ground and getting back on his feet.  He bent down and grabbed his drink as I opened the door, finally.  He followed me inside as I instructed him to sleep on his side and keep his phone next to his ear.

“I’m keeping your key just incase I need to check on you.  You really need to get your shit together, Jason.  Give me that drink.  I’m going to spill it down the sink,” before I could grab it from him, he chugged it down.  “Great.  You’re going to hate life tomorrow.  Sleep on your side and do not leave this room or try to kiss anyone else tonight.  You got that?”

“I’m s-sorry.  So s-sorry.  I didn’t m-mean it.”

“I know you didn’t.  Otherwise, I’d kick you in the balls,” I replied.

I waited until he passed out and put pillows against his back so he wouldn’t roll over on his back and end up choking on his own vomit.  I headed out of his room, key in hand, and went to my room.  My job was done for the evening.  Jason was in his room, asleep.  I wouldn’t hear about him making a fool of himself downstairs where everyone was waiting for someone to mess up so they could have something to gossip about back at the hospital.  Taryn was the only one putting herself in that situation during this conference. 

Alex had called, so I called him back as I soaked in the tub as I had planned.  I didn’t tell him about the incident with Jason.  Alex didn’t even want me to have lunch with Jason.  I could only imagine his reaction if he found out Jason had too much to drink and kissed me.  I didn’t even want to imagine what he would think if I told him I tucked him in and kept his room key so I could check on him.  I had learned that certain things had to be kept to myself.

After I ended my conversation with Alex, I thought I should check on Jason to make sure he was doing fine.  I put on a bathrobe, grabbed his room key and tip toed five doors down.  I prayed that nobody would see me sneaking into Jason’s room in a hotel bathrobe.

I quickly opened the door and found Jason exactly as I had left him.  As I was tip toeing back, I heard a door down the hallway shut hard.  It sounded like the door leading to the stairs.  I looked both ways, but didn’t see anyone there.  I let out the breath I was holding and got into my room as fast as I could.  It was time to call it a night.

<><><>

I called Jason around six o’clock in the morning.  He didn’t answer the first few times I called, then he answered, sounding like death.  “H-hello,” a barely audible Jason spoke into the phone.

“Time to rise and shine.  We need to talk and you need to throw up or take aspirin or whatever the hell is going to sober you up.  What the hell were you thinking last night?” I reprimanded.

“Please keep it down.  My brain hurts,” he replied in a low, raspy voice.

“I’m glad your testicles don’t hurt.”

“What?  What happened last night?  Why are you talking about my testicles?  Oh shit.  I remember.  You were mad at me for something.  It was in the hallway by my room.  You slapped me.  Why the hell did you slap me?  Did I say something?  Claire, what did I say to you?  Please tell me,” he sounded crazy.

“Calm down.  It’s not what you said; it’s what you did.  You kissed me, you perv.  I pushed you off, but you grabbed me and kissed me again.  You need to watch how much you drink if you can’t keep your hands off women when you’re under the influence.”

“Oh, man,” I could just see him grabbing his head.  I knew he was going to have a horrible hangover after the last large glass of hard tea he downed.

“You know you’re at a work function, Jason.  I don’t know what the hell is going on with you and your girlfriend, Sally, but you need keep that at home,” I commanded.

“I know.  I know.  I feel like a stupid ass.  I’m going to shower.  Can we meet downstairs?”

“Yeah.  I’ll give back your room key when I see you.”

“You have my room key?”

“Uh…yeah.  Someone had to check on you to make sure you’re not dead,” sarcasm took over my tone.

“Oh okay.  I’ll see you downstairs.”

An hour later I met Jason downstairs.  We still had quite some time before the conference began.  It was only a half-day conference, since it was the last day.  He peeled a banana and began to eat it, a pair of aspirin in his other hand. 

“Thank you, Claire.”

“For what?” I asked.

“For taking care of me last night.  For making sure I made it upstairs so I didn’t embarrass myself down here.  And thank you for checking on me and not killing me for kissing you.”

“That’s what friends do,” I replied, sipping on coffee.

“What triggered me to kiss you?” he asked himself.  “I mean you’re adorable – don’t get me wrong.  But I should’ve never done that.  It was so wrong of me.  I guess my emotions got in the middle.  It’s been a hard few days for me.  Please understand.”

“I understand, Jason.  It’s never going to happen again and it will remain between the two of us.  Deal?”

“Deal,” he said as we shook on it.

Taryn joined us shortly after we shook on our agreement.  She looked just as tired as Jason.  I wondered if she had a rough night as well.  “Good morning, you two,” she took a seat.  “I’m so glad it’s our last day here.  I can’t take any more hot men to my bed,” yes, she said that out loud as she fanned herself with her hand.  Jason looked like he vomited in his mouth.

“That’s gross, Taryn,” I said.

“What?  I got bad news about my mother.  Can’t I have a few days of happiness?” she asked.

“What’s wrong with your mother?” Jason asked.

“She has cancer.  It’s terminal.  She’s not responding well to treatment.”

“I’m sorry,” I said.

“I knew it was coming,” she looked down.  It didn’t take long for Taryn to recover from her sad state.  As soon as she saw one of the men she had become friendly with, she took off and sat next to them.

“I don’t get her,” said Jason.

“And you never will.”

<><><>

I got home a few hours before Alex was due to come home.  I decided to surprise him by cooking a decent meal.  I rushed to the grocery store and picked up items to make one of the few things I knew how to make well – enchiladas.

Once the enchiladas were in the oven, I headed upstairs to take a quick shower and put on something very sexy.  I found a pale pink bustier with rhinestones on the cups.  I threw that on with a matching pair of thongs and a matching short silk robe.  I glossed my lips and tousled my hair before I slipped on a pair of silver Louboutins.

I received a call from Alex letting me know he was on his way and would be home shortly.  I hurried down the stairs and set the table, lighting the candles to make it even more romantic.

He walked in, a dozen red roses in his hand.  He set them down on the table when he saw I was dressed in almost nothing and heels.  I ran up to him, throwing my arms around his neck and he lifted me up, my legs wrapped around his waist.  “I cooked for you.  It’s not poisonous, I promise.  I made enchiladas,” I said into his ear, my tongue against his ear lobe.

“Can we skip dinner and go straight to dessert?”

“You can have enchiladas for dinner and me for dessert,” I said, releasing my legs from his waist.

I filled the vase with water and put the flowers in it before I buried my nose in one of the roses and inhaled the fresh scent.

“It sucked without you here the last few days,” he said, taking a bite.  “Mmm this is so good, baby.  You lie when you say you can’t cook.” I went to the kitchen to grab a few sodas from the refrigerator and Alex pulled me onto his lap when I returned to the dining room.  “Is it time for dessert yet?”  I lost the robe within seconds as his hand gripped my bottom and pulled me closer to his body.  I could feel his erection against my skin.  I changed positions, this time facing him with my legs wrapped around him.  “This thing you’re wearing is so sexy, but I’m afraid we need to remove it.  I want everything off but the shoes.  I want you in those shoes.”

He moved my thong panties to the side as he slid two fingers inside me.  I moaned in pleasure as a tingling sensation began to develop in the pit of my belly.  I nearly tore off his clothes as he unclasped my bustier and pulled my thong off.  I wanted him inside me before I burst into orgasm.  He removed his fingers and slid into me.  His hungry lips met mine.

“Come with me,” he said as he thrust into me.  I squeezed and tightened as my body convulsed around his hardness.  He burst into me seconds later, kissing me nonstop.  “To be continued,” he whispered in my ear.

The next morning, I parked my car in the parking structure of the hospital and headed toward the elevators.  I heard a loud roar of an engine and turned to see a brand new dealer-plated bright yellow Ferrari.  I imagined one of the physicians or executives had purchased a new toy.  But when I got a closer look, I realized it was Taryn.

First she’s drunk and naked in Alex’s kitchen.  Then she’s at a conference for work, picking up young horny men and possibly taking them to her room and doing things she shouldn’t be doing.  After all, she was in a relationship with Mark.  I confirmed that she was indeed going through a midlife crisis.

“Wait for me,” she gestured before she parked her sexy new sports car in her usual parking spot.  Her plunging neckline was the first thing to catch my eyes as she opened the door and made her way out of the low-to-the-ground car.

I didn’t even want to ask if that car was a gift from one of her victims – I mean – men that she slept with.

Jason helped me move in and get settled in my new office.  Laura stopped by to visit just before lunch.  “Hey, big boss lady.”

“Hi there,” I gestured for her to come in and have a seat on one of my new guest chairs across from my desk.  I had chosen modern red chairs as an attempt to liven things up a bit.  “So, you’re really going to move, huh?”

“Unfortunately, yes.  We will be completely moved in in about four weeks.  You have to come visit, Claire.  I will be very hurt if you don’t come.”

“Of course,” I promised.  “After the baby is born, we’ll club hop.”

She giggled, “You better visit me at least once before the baby is born.  Got it?”

“Got it.”

“Good.”

<><><>

Although I left work late that evening, I got home to find Alex wasn’t there yet.  I called him and left a message, asking if he wanted me to cook anything.  He didn’t respond so I waited a while before sending a text message.  I waited and waited patiently, but still no word from Alex.

There must have been an emergency at the hospital, I thought.  Then my mind wandered to Angela.  I thought about how she must be trapping him in a conversation regarding her undying love for him and how they should be together.  I wished I could shut that woman out of my brain, but it was very difficult to do so.

My palms began to sweat and my heart began to race.  I had a horrible feeling that something may have happened to Alex.  I dialed his number again.  No answer.  I continued to pace, the thoughts in my head spinning round and round causing me to feel dizzy.

Nausea kicked in soon after the sweaty palms and rapid heart rate.  I sat down and dialed his number one more time.  If he had an emergency at work, why didn’t he text me?  Why didn’t he call and leave a message or ask one of the nurses to notify me?  He knew how anxious and worried I became when I didn’t hear from him.  He wouldn’t ignore me for Angela.  I just knew it.  I was more important to him than that cheating bitch.

Eight o’clock came by.  Nine o’clock followed.  Alex finally showed up at ten.  I must have called him at least a hundred times before he came home.  I suddenly became infuriated.

“Alex, your phone better be dead.  I’ve been worried sick!”

He set his phone down on the dining table, showing me the battery was fully charged and all of my calls and texts seemed to have been ignored.  I looked at him puzzled.

“Why haven’t you been answering my calls?” I asked.  He didn’t respond.  A cold look on his face told me something had gone wrong.  Was it work?  Was it Angela?  Was it me?

He dropped his briefcase on the chair, causing a loud thump as he continued to look at me as if I were the devil.

“Alex, talk to me.  What the hell is going on?”

He opened the briefcase, reaching inside.  The seconds seemed like hours as he reached in and pulled out a large mustard colored envelope.  He opened it slowly, took out the contents and slammed them down on the glass table.

“You mind explaining what the fuck these are?”

Chapter 22

My blood ran cold, my limbs went numb, and my heart began pounding all the way into my ears.  There, on that glass table were photos – of Jason and I – kissing.  Not only were they photos of us kissing, but photos of me walking to and from his room wearing only a robe and slippers.  I wanted the ground to open up from beneath me and swallow me whole.  There were no photos of me pushing Jason off or slapping him across the face after he kissed me in his drunken state.

“Why?” Betrayal was the only thing written on his face.  How would I explain that nothing happened?  Then a thought hit me out of nowhere.

“Did you have me followed?  Did you hire someone to take these?”  It made sense due to his past with Angela that he may have not trusted me and wanted to make sure I was faithful to him.

“You’re more concerned to know where these came from rather than what you have done to me?  Than what you’ve done to us?  I did not have you followed and don’t know where these came from, but they ended up in my fucking office.  Now that I think about it, I’d love to know who took these.  I’d love to meet the person who saved my future,” he grabbed his briefcase and headed for the door.

I grabbed a hold of his arm.  “Alex, wait, it’s not what you think.  I swear.  Jason was drunk – so drunk that he didn’t know what he was doing and he kissed me.  He didn’t know what he was doing.  I slapped him, I swear.  He was drunk, Alex.  He didn’t know what he was doing.  And the reason why I was in his room was because I was checking on him to make sure he was okay,” I explained.

“Shut up!” he yelled.

“Ask Jason if you don’t believe me,” I begged.

“Ask Jason?  You think I have any interest in the lies that your fuck buddy has ready for me? A picture is worth a thousand words.  And in this case, it’s worth a million words,” his nostrils flared.  He dropped his briefcase, made an angry fist with his hands and paced back and forth.  “How could you do this?  I can’t wrap my brain around it, Claire.  I thought you were different than her.  I gave you everything!” He raised his voice so high that I thought my eardrums were going to rupture.  “I trust you with my heart and soul and you do this to me?” He looked so broken with his hand on his chest, like I had cut it open and pulled out his heart.  Then, he became cold again, stiffening his body and looking at me with disgust.  “You know what the difference is between you and Angela?” he asked.

I shook my head, afraid to even speak.  “At least she admitted her mistakes.  She admitted what she did and begged for forgiveness.  You, on the other hand are a lying bitch!  I should have known you two were up to no good when I saw you having lunch together.”  He continued to pace before he was only an inch from my face. “How long has this been going on?  How long have you been fucking him?!” he hollered.  “Answer me!”

“I h-haven’t.  We haven’t, I swear!  I think someone is trying to sabotage our relationship.  Are you sure you didn’t hire anyone?” I asked again.

“NO!  For the last time, I did not hire anyone to follow you.  But you should have thought about that before lip locking with your boy toy.  I don’t even want to know what went on behind closed doors,” he ran both hands through his hair, his blue eyes shooting daggers of hate into me.  “I never want to see you again,” were his last words to me before he stormed out the front door.

“Alex, please!” I ran after him, my hands grasping his arm, trying to pull him toward me.  Trying to get him to face me so he could see the truth in my eyes.  He didn’t budge.  He continued to walk to his car, almost dragging me as I still held on to his arm.  I was desperate to make him stay so he could hear my side of the story.  I had to tell him exactly what happened.  I knew he would understand.  He had to understand because I needed him to understand.  I needed him to believe me, but I was losing the battle.

“Alex, look at me!” He acted like I wasn’t even around.  Like I didn’t even exist.  He shook my hand off of him as though I was a diseased animal he didn’t want touching him.  He swung open the car door, took a seat and peeled off.

He was gone.  All I had were the fumes from his exhaust lingering around the trail of tears that were streaming down my cheeks.  He was gone.  My heart dropped.

I stood there for as long as I could remember.  My body felt numb and ice cold.  The numbness began my chest and traveled through to the ends of my limbs.  All I could feel were the endless tears running down my face.  I somehow ended up back inside my condo, my phone in my hand.  I began to dial Alex’s number, but stopped.  He didn’t want to talk to me.  He hated me and he had every right to.  I had no explanation for what was in those photos – at least no explanation that anyone would believe, especially Alex.

The thoughts in my mind traveled at light speed.  Did Jason have anything to do with those pictures?  I shook my head.  Jason was so drunk he didn’t know what the hell was going on.

I couldn’t stay home any longer.  I got into my car and just drove, no destination planned.  I drove until my tears were blinding me and I could hardly see in front of me.  I found myself at the beach, sitting on the sand and just staring at the shore.  I counted how many times the waves crashed into the shore until I had no idea what I was doing and why I was counting.

Sleep never found me that night, as I didn’t even make it to bed.  I sent Alex a few text messages begging him to call me, but no luck there.  I had lost the most important person in my life and it wasn’t even my fault.

My eyes were too wet to apply makeup to cover up all the nonstop crying that had taken place all night.  Never had I wanted to call in sick more than I did that day.  Unfortunately, I had no choice but to go to work and focus on all the new responsibility I had in my new position. Perfect timing.

<><><>

Jason was on the phone when I walked into his office the following morning.  He took one look at me and immediately put an end to the phone conversation.  “I would say good morning, but it doesn’t seem to be a good one for you.  What’s wrong?” he asked as I closed the door behind me.

I took a seat on the chair across from him and pulled out the envelope, spilling the photos on his desk without saying a word.  The color left his face as he became as pale as I probably was when I first laid eyes on the pictures.  “Whoa!  What are these?  You took pics?”  His remark set me on fire.

“No, I didn’t take pictures!  I was going to ask you the same thing.”

“Hell no.  Why would I do something like that?  My million dollar question now is: where did you get these?” he asked.

“Alex gave them to me and to make a long story short, he told me he never wants to see me again.  Which means I no longer have a fiancé because he doesn’t believe me when I tell him the truth,” I began to cry.

“Did you tell him what happened?  Did you tell him how I was drunk and y-”

“I did.  He called me a liar and told me that a picture is worth a thousand words.  It’s no use.  I don’t even know how I came in today,” I said between my sobs. 

“Let’s go to him together and explain everything,” his brilliant idea.

“Jason, do you not understand that he hates you right now?  He thinks we are sleeping together.  I mean, just look at the pictures of me in that robe going in and coming out of your room,” I pointed to the photos in question.

“Fuck!  I wish I didn’t drink that night.  I’m such an idiot,” he stood up and turned to the window behind him.  “I’m going to help get you out of this mess.  This is bullshit!”

“Bullshit or not – it is what it is.  Whoever took those photos knows exactly what happened.  They know that you were the one who kissed me because you were drunk and I was the one who slapped you.  I can’t talk to you or hang out with you for a while, Jason,” I said as I stood up and headed for the door.

“It’s understood.  I’m so sorry, Claire.  All this is my fault.  I’m really sorry that my stupidity has put you in this situation,” he apologized.  I put the photos back into the envelope and slid it back into my purse.

“Claire, if there’s anything I can do, please let me know.”

I nodded and headed toward the door.  “Claire?”

“Yes?” I turned back around.

“I’m sorry.”

“I know.  Shit happens,” I said and rushed to my office.

I wanted to hide from the world, especially everyone from the hospital.  I worked slowly, like a zombie, getting absolutely nothing done.  I was useless.  I couldn’t focus.  I distracted myself by scrolling through Facebook.  Stefano had posted pictures of him skydiving from the past weekend.  I thought about how crazy he was and sent him a text.

Skydiving?  Really?  Is that how you want to die?

I love it!  So far I’ve done it 7 times and I’ve survived.

I have a fear of heights.  Oh, and a fear of dying, which is probably normal considering the activity.

Then it’s definitely not for you.  Let’s all hang out soon!

I wasn’t planning on telling Stefano about Alex – not yet anyway.  I just wanted to get my mind off of the craziness in my life.  I decided to send a short and simple reply.

Sounds good.  See you!

The time was crawling painfully.  I focused on the sound of the loud clock in my new office.  Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.  I wanted to throw it against the wall to make it shut up.  Everything was irritating me.  Everything!

I kept checking my phone to see if Alex responded to any of my text messages.  Nothing.  I stared into my computer, not realizing it was almost one o’clock in the afternoon until Laura called.

“Hey, girl.  Did you eat yet?” she asked.

“No,” my voice cracked as I held back a sob.

“What’s going on?  Are you crying?” she asked.  I couldn’t even speak or catch my breath.  “I’m coming.”

Moments later she was in my office, comforting me as I sobbed like there was no tomorrow.  “Tell me what happened,” she rubbed my shoulder as I blew my nose.  “Did you get fired or something?”

I shook my head, “No.  Worse.”

“Worse than losing your job?  Oh my god!  Did something happen with Alex?  Is it Angela?  Or his mother?”

I somehow calmed down just a bit, just enough to begin speaking again.  I asked her to put herself in my position and pretend she was at a conference and when she returned, Robert had pictures of her lip locking with a colleague.  I explained everything that had happened with Jason and how Alex approached me with the envelope of photos.  She was dumbfounded.

“Shit,” was her only response at first.

“Right?  Would Robert believe your story after laying eyes on these pictures?” I asked.

“Absolutely not,” she scratched her head, trying to figure out how she would approach the matter.  “You have to find out who took these, Claire.  It’s your only key to prove the truth to Alex.”

“Even if I find that person, they obviously have an agenda and would never admit to what really happened and what they really witnessed.  Do you really think they would tell Alex that I slapped Jason.  You think they would tell him that Jason was drunk and had no idea what he was doing?  Of course not.  They hate me and obviously want Alex and I apart,” I explained.

I told Laura about overhearing Aracely and Maggie gossip about me.  “Hmm.  I don’t think they would go to that extreme.  I think Alex’s mother and Angela play a big part in this.  After all, Isabelle tried to pay you out of your engagement.  Did you forget that?”

Laura had a point and the timing seemed perfect with Angela’s decision to practice medicine in the same hospital as her ex husband that she wanted back so badly.

My chest felt tight all of a sudden.  I needed to go for a walk and get some fresh air or I was going to have a breakdown.  I walked across the street with Laura to pick up food– for Laura only – since I didn’t anticipate putting a thing in my mouth any time soon.  It wasn’t fair for Laura to have to babysit and console me all the time.  I turned my focus on her.

“Enough about me and my endless drama.  How are you doing with the pregnancy so far?” I asked.

“I feel like someone has taken over my body completely and it’s only the beginning.  Doctor says it’ll get better,” she sighed.  “Promise me you won’t give up on Alex.  It’s going to be hell getting him to believe you, but if you don’t give it your all, he will think it’s because you’re guilty.  Get it?”  Even then she was more concerned about what was going on with me.

I nodded, “Got it.”

“Good,” she smiled.  “Now, focus on work so you don’t lose your man and your job.”

I didn’t know what I would do without Laura.  “Thank you,” I hugged her.

“That’s what friends are for.  Wish I could stay longer, but I don’t want to lose my job either,” she giggled and left my office.

I realized that if I didn’t get my mind back in gear, I wouldn’t succeed at my job and lose more than Alex.  I went to the bathroom threw some cold water on my face.  It wasn’t like I had any makeup on anyway.  I headed back to my office and worked on my presentation to my new staff the next day.

When my stomach began to ache from hunger, I dug into one of the drawers and found a candy bar.  I forced myself to eat it so I wouldn’t starve and lose weight.  I had finally reached a weight that enunciated my curves and I didn’t want it all to go away.  But then, when I thought about it again, I didn’t care if I shrunk to a size double zero.  Alex wouldn’t even look at me twice after what happened.

Around four thirty, I shut down my computer.  I couldn’t think anymore.  I needed to talk to Alex.  He wasn’t answering any of my calls or text messages, which left me no choice but to go to his office in the clinic.  I threw my purse over my shoulder, took a sip of water and walked across the street.

My heart was pounding from fear that Alex may not want to speak to me at all.  But I had to keep trying to make him understand that it was all a set up.  Maybe he would help me find out who was behind all of it.  There was no way I could do it alone.  I needed him on my side.  I needed him to believe me.

Alice, the receptionist at the clinic greeted me as I walked inside.  “Oh, hi Claire.  How are you?” she asked with a smile.  It was obvious she had no idea there was something wrong between Alex and I.

I smiled, covering up my nervousness as best as I could.  “Hi, Alice.  Is Alex in his office?”

She looked in the computer and confirmed, “He’s in the exam room with a patient right now, but you can have a seat in his office.  I’ll ask the nurse to let him know you’re here.”

“Thank you, Alice,” I said and headed to his office and took a seat on the dark brown loveseat.  I wondered how he would react when he found out I was in his office.  Would he ask me to leave?  Throw me out?  I tapped my foot to pass the time, scrolled through my phone, and ran my fingers through my hair a million times. 

Alex walked in with his hair mess, dark circles under his eyes, and requiring a good shave.  His stethoscope hung around his neck as usual when he worked.  He closed the door behind him and tightened his jaw, obviously irritated to see me in his office, unannounced.  “What are you doing here?”

“We need to talk, Alex,” I stood up and walked toward him.

“We’re done.  There’s nothing left to talk about,” he said coldly.

“Please listen to what I have to say.  I swear nothing happened between Jas-”

“Stop!” he shouted.  “Stop trying to explain the unexplainable.  You fucked up.  Just admit it so we could go our separate ways without carrying this on your conscience.  All you have to do is admit and apologize.  I’ll even make it easier for you by telling you that I forgive you.  I forgive you, Claire.”

I forgive you.  He forgives me for something I never did.  I knew just then what I had to do.  I slid off the engagement ring he had given me and put it his office desk.  “I can’t apologize for something I didn’t do,” I said, tears rolling down my cheeks.  When I looked into his eyes before I opened the door, I saw tears building up in them. I knew deep down inside he still cared for me and loved me.  But he didn’t believe me or trust me. “Goodbye, Alex,” I said with a barely audible, shaky voice and charged down the hall.  I left through the back door so I wouldn’t have to face Alice in the front of the office.

<><><>

I felt so down when I got home.  I didn’t know what to do with myself.  It was times like this when living alone became the most horrible thing.  The guard at the gate called to let me know there was a delivery.  I opened the door to a beautiful bouquet of roses.

“Good evening.  Flower delivery for a Claire Morgan,” said the kind man.

My heart jumped.  “That would be me,” I said, signing for the beautiful arrangement.

As soon as he left, my hand trembled when I opened the card to read the contents.  I knew the flowers were from Alex.  I knew he wanted to apologize.  He wanted me back.  I just knew it.  My heart sank when I opened the card to read the message from Mark:

Dear Claire,

I hope these roses can lift your spirits and cheer you up a bit.  You know I’m always here when you need a shoulder to cry on.

Always,

Mark

Lift my spirits?  My spirits were definitely lifted when I thought the flowers were from Alex, not Mark Kohler.  I guess now the whole world knew about our break up. Ugh!  I was so angry that I took them out to the dumpster and threw them away.

I couldn’t take it anymore.  I changed into my running clothes, slipped on my running shoes, plugged my ears with the most upbeat music I could find and ran.  I ran for hours in the dark.  Fear was not an option that night.  I was so angry that fear was the last thing that would be inside me.

Hours later, when I could no longer run, I slowed down to a walk and headed home.  It was so late that I was surprised I didn’t realize it was almost eleven.  I checked my phone as soon as I got home, but there was nothing from Alex.  No text messages.  No phone calls.  Nothing.

I took a shower and settled down on the couch with the remote in my hand.  I must have flipped through a thousand channels without even acknowledging what was on television.  Social media was next.  I scrolled through my emails, Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram.  Nothing caught my eye aside from Stefano and his recent posts and pictures of bungee cord jumping.

The skydiving wasn’t satisfying enough, so now you’re bungee jumping?

I hadn’t realized how late it was.  I shouldn’t have texted at midnight.  He was probably asleep or even worse – busy in the bedroom with Mandy.  I guess it wasn’t that late for Stefano, since he replied right away.

Hey, buddy!  What are you doing up this late?  You ok?

Why did it matter why I was up so late?  Couldn’t people just carry on an electronic conversation with me without judging why I’m contacting them so late?

I’m fine.  Is it past your bedtime?

It’s never too late to hear from a friend.  Where’s Alex?

Why do you assume Alex is not home?

Because you very rarely text me when Alex is around.

He knew me too well.  It was very difficult to lie to Stefano.  But it was well worth a try.

Alex is working.  He operates on people, remember?  He gets quite busy.

My phone rang a few seconds after I sent the last text message.  It was Stefano, “Hey, buddy.  What’s going on?”

I cleared my throat before speaking, so he wouldn’t sense anything in my voice.  I wasn’t planning on telling everyone about Alex just yet.  I wasn’t ready for the pity party as I was still trying to absorb it myself.  “Hey.  How are you?  I’m sorry I texted so late.  I just found the bungee jumping interesting.  I wish I was brave enough to do that.”

“You are brave.  When do you want to do it?  I will go with you guys,” he said.  You guys as in Alex and I.  “I’ve done it so many times.  It’s so awesome.  Has Alex done it before?” he asked.

“I have no idea.  I will ask him.  How’s Mandy?” I had to change the subject.

“Cool.  She’s out with her friends.  I think it was a birthday or something.”

“That’s nice.  All right, I’ll let you go rest.  You probably want to have some alone time til she gets home,” I didn’t want to keep him on the phone forever.  He still had a life.

“No, no, talk to me.  We never talk anymore, Claire.  We used to be so close.  When was the last time we had a decent conversation?” he asked.

I thought about the last time I actually talked to Stefano without anyone around, but I couldn’t recall.  “I can’t remember.”

“Exactly.  So, tell me about the wedding plans.  How’s all that coming along?”  Oh, great.  He had to ask.

“It’s a little too early to plan.  I don’t want to stress out about that just yet.  Hey, you never finished telling me about bungee cord jumping,” I changed the subject.

“I don’t need to tell you about it.  You just have to try it.  As I recall, you have a major fear of heights.  It’s a great way to get over that fear,” he replied.

“You mean, if I don’t die,” I chuckled.

“You’re not going to die,” he laughed.  “I’m serious, though.  Talk to Alex and see how he feels about doing it and we can all go together.  I promise you’re going to love it and I guarantee you will jump more than once.”

“I’ll let Alex know.  Does Mandy jump?”

“She says she’ll never do it.  But I’ll talk to her again and try to convince her.  It would be so cool if we all went together.  It’s like an all-day adventure.  It includes a five mile hike to the bridge,” he went into detail explaining how to get there and what is required to take with you.  I didn’t care about the details.  I was serious about jumping.  I lied to Stefano and told him I would talk to Alex as soon as he got home and hoped to spend a day bungee jumping – all four of us.  If we did end up planning a day, it would only be Stefano, Mandy, and I.  Alex would forever be out of the picture.  The thought of that almost killed me.

It was almost one o’clock in the morning when I got off the phone with Stefano.  Sleep was the last thing on my mind.  My stomach growled, reminding me that I forgot to eat.  Again.

I sipped on water to trick my stomach and lay down on the couch with the remote in my hand.  I felt warm, soft lips pressed against mine.  It was Alex!  I knew he loved me and couldn’t spend another night without me.  I ran my fingers through his hair as he continued to kiss me.  My heart was bursting with joy.  I sat up, “Alex, I missed you so much,” I said, kissing him non-stop.

“I missed you too, baby.  But I came here to say goodbye.  Since you gave back that ring, we can never be together.  Ever,” he became cold, just like he had been in his office when he told me he forgives me.

“I thought you came here to stay with me.  Are you leaving?” I asked as I followed him to the door.

“Yes, I’m leaving.  Goodbye, Claire,” he said before storming out the door.  I tried running after him, but my legs didn’t allow me to move.  I cried and cried instead, until I could cry no longer.

I awakened crying as I sat up on the couch.  Stupid dream!  For a split second, I thought Alex was back, but it was all a stupid dream with a shitty ending.

I stayed awake for the remainder of the night.  Sleep didn’t find me again that night.  I recalled the flowers from Mark and how excited I was when I thought it was from Alex.  What a disappointment it had been to find out it was from that creep instead.

Since sleep wasn’t an option any more, I began doing laundry.  The mail hadn’t been opened, so I decided I would sort through that, throwing away the junk mail.  An envelope without a return address caught my eye.  My name and address was typed.

Dear Claire,

You may be upset right now, but believe me, it’s all for the best.  Alex Blake is not the man you think he is.  He is manipulative, controlling, and extremely jealous.  You should never believe a word he says.  Move on.  Love someone else.  There’s someone better for you out there, someone who appreciates you.  Best wishes.

Anonymous

My head was spinning and my stomach was turning.  The letter was sent by the same person that wrote the first one, which was sent to me in January, just before our trip to New York.  Manipulative.  Controlling.  Extremely jealous.  Jealous?  Maybe.  Controlling?  He seemed to be at times, but nothing too crazy.  But I didn’t see Alex as a manipulative man at all?  It didn’t sound like him at all.  Was it true?  Who was sending these letters?  Who was messing with my mind?  It couldn’t be Isabelle.  She wouldn’t say those things about her son.  But then again, she did offer me money to leave him.

Another thing I noticed about the letter was the fragrance.  It contained a strong scent of men’s cologne.  I recognized the smell, but couldn’t recall whom I had smelled it on.

It wasn’t until I became very lightheaded that I realized I needed to eat something.  I forced myself to eat a banana and drink a glass of milk.  Yuck.  I couldn’t think anymore.  I was tired and my eyelids were so heavy.  I knew that if I didn’t shut my eyes for at least an hour or two more, I would fall asleep at the wheel on the way to work.

Chapter 23

I was an hour late to work the next morning.  The fact that I was able to sleep a couple of hours toward the morning was good news.  However, I only had thirty minutes to prepare for a meeting that I would be hosting.  I rushed to my office and pulled out my makeup bag from my purse, applying as much as I could to disguise my red, puffy eyes.

My staff was already in the conference room when I entered.  I took a deep breath and began my presentation.  It all came easily, since I had prepared so well for days.  My ideas and plans seemed to interest them all.  After an hour of discussing future plans for success, I realized that it had been more than twelve hours since my engagement ring was no longer on my finger.  Would anyone notice?  I became self-conscious and stopped using my hands so much when I spoke.

When the meeting was over, Laney, my assistant stayed behind and disconnected the projector and laptop.  “Hey, boss.  Is everything okay?” she asked.  I had a feeling Laney would sense my depressed mood sooner or later.

“Yeah.  I guess,” I paused.  “Oh, who am I kidding?  Everything has turned to shit,” I blurted out.  “Is it really obvious?”

“Well, you look like you’ve been crying and your ring is missing from your finger,” she frowned, looking at my hand.

I sighed, “It’s bad, Laney.  I can’t go into too much detail, but it’s really, really bad.  Your observations are accurate.  Alex and I are no longer together.”

“I’m sorry, boss.  I hope whatever it is can be worked out.”

I looked down, “I don’t know about that, Laney.”

“Let me know if you need anything.  Okay?” she asked genuinely.

I nodded and left the conference room.  If Laney knew something was wrong, I was sure almost everyone else had caught on.  I could just see the rumors in the near future.  There would be endless rumors about why Alex and I broke up.  I could hear people gossiping about Alex and Angela getting back together.  Oh, and my favorite rumor – that Alex finally found out I was a gold digger.  Lovely.

Jason and I had been keeping our distance ever since the photos surfaced.  I had too many things on my mind.  The last thing I needed were rumors about an affair with Jason – Downtown Memorial’s most gorgeous bachelor – aside from Alex Blake. 

Oh, the consequences of dating in the workplace.  I had been so stupid to think that I could have my cake and eat it too.  Falling in love with Alex was the last thing I should have done.  It would have saved me the humiliation I was going through.  Humiliation for something I did not do – which was so much worse.

My afternoon meeting ended at one.  It seemed like I waited forever for the elevator to open up so I could head back to the first floor.  Once inside, I pressed the button for the first floor and wished I had taken the stairs.  God, such slow elevators, I thought.

When the elevator made a pit stop to pick up Alex was when I really wished I had taken the stairs instead.  My heart jumped in my chest when the doors opened up and he walked in.  He looked just as surprised to see me.  He was wearing scrubs and a lab coat – his usual hospital attire.

“Afternoon,” he said in a cold, almost frozen tone.

“Hi,” I don’t even think he heard me say that.

That must have been the longest elevator ride in the history of my life.  I fantasized about Alex pressing me against the elevator wall, as he had done before when we were together.  I imagined him kissing me and telling me he still loved me and that he knew there was nothing between Jason and me.  I imagined many things until reality hit me in the face when the elevator doors opened to Taryn Simmonds and her large breasts.

“Hello Taryn,” was all Alex said before he stormed out of the building and toward the clinic.

She narrowed her eyebrows at me after noticing how cold Alex had been.  “Trouble in paradise?” she asked.

“You have no idea,” I said, unable to keep my eyes dry.

She frowned.  “Join me for lunch?”

I only nodded.  Taryn wasn’t my first choice as a lunch companion, but I really didn’t want to be alone.  We walked to the falafel place Laura and I went to often.  I only picked at my food and let Taryn do all the talking.  When she realized she was talking too much, she stopped and asked me what the deal was between Alex and I.

I didn’t say much.  I pulled out the photos from my purse and let her have a glance.  Her eyes bulged wide.  “Holy.  Shit.  You and Jason?”

“No! That’s exactly what it looks like, right?”

“Um, yeah.  Are you sure you two di-”

“I’m positive,” I replied, cutting her off and telling her exactly what happened that night.

“Oh, yeah.  I remember seeing him drink at the bar.  Wow.  This looks really bad, Claire.  No wonder Alex doesn’t believe you when you tell him nothing happened.  If I didn’t know you better and know you’re not that kind of girl, I wouldn’t believe you either,” she replied.

I sighed, putting the photos back in the envelope and slipping it back into my purse.

“Hey, maybe I can talk to Alex,” her brilliant idea.

“Believe me, I’ve tried.  I’ve tried very hard.  It’s no use, Taryn.  I just have to get used to the fact that Alex and I will never again be a couple,” just saying that killed me. 

The remainder of the day dragged.  I drowned myself in work to keep my mind occupied, but every time Alex’s face flashed before my eyes, I felt my heart sink like the Titanic. 

Last Christmas, I had given Alex a custom made necklace with an engraved white gold and onyx car tire pendant.  It represented our first encounter when Alex changed my tire, engraved with our names and the date we met. When I ran into him in the elevator earlier that day, I noticed he was still wearing it.  He hadn’t taken it off, which meant he still loved me and still cared – even after I gave back the engagement ring.  Or had he just forgotten to remove it? 

I had a habit of twisting and turning the pendant Alex had given me on my last birthday.  It was a white gold globe pendant from Tiffany.  He always told me he wanted to give me the world, so it carries has as much sentimental value as the one I gave him.  I swore I would never remove it.  I would wear it until the day I died and possibly be buried with it.

<><><>

I ran again that night.  Running seemed to keep me sane and medicated without actually popping a pill.  My legs were extremely sore from the last run, but I didn’t care.  I figured I could pop a few painkillers for that and call it a night.

High hopes of a possible phone call or text message from Alex flooded my being, but the only text on my phone was from Stefano, asking if I had spoken with Alex regarding bungee jumping.

Alex isn’t interested in bungee cord jumping.  Is Mandy interested?

I didn’t want to be a third wheel and tag along with Stefano and Mandy during their bungee cord jumping adventure.

That’s funny because Mandy’s not interested either.  I’ll pick you up at 7 on Saturday morning, if you wanna go, and if it’s ok with Alex.

I dialed his number.  “Hey, you!” he answered.  “Are you down?”

What did I get myself into?  “I’m not sure.  I mean, at first I thought it would be fun, but now I’m a little scared,” I confessed.

“Don’t be.  Look, I’ve done it so many times and nothing bad has ever happened to me or anyone else that I know of.  It’s a five-mile hike to the bridge.  We jump then hike back.  I will send you the link so you can prepare your backpack with the necessary items,” he explained.

“Five-mile hike?  Not that I mind, because I’m a runner, but isn’t there another way to get to that bridge?” I just wanted to get there fast, attempt a jump and get out.

“Nope.  The only way to get to that bridge is to hike there.  Seven o’clock.  Saturday morning.  Be ready,” he commanded.

I guess it was going to be like old times – Stefano and I hanging out – with an additional minor detail: jumping from a giant bridge.  My heart palpitated at the thought of it.  After I hung up, I went on the website he sent me and booked my jump.  I printed and signed the consent forms and knew exactly what snacks to pack and how to dress.  Although I was nervous as hell, I was a little excited too.

For the millionth time, I looked at my phone in high hopes that I would receive a text from Alex.  Nothing.  I figured it would be okay to send him a little message.

Just wanted you to know that I’m thinking about you.  If you don’t believe that nothing happened between Jason and I, at least believe me when I say I miss you like crazy.  I miss you so much it hurts.

There was no response from Alex.  The silence between us was like thorns piercing into my heart.  I somehow drifted away to the land of sleep, but was awakened by the usual nightmare.  I had fallen asleep in my bed, only to wake up startled and sweaty.  The bed felt so big and empty without Alex next to me, holding me.

It was no use trying to go back to sleep after five o’clock in the morning.  I showered and took my time styling my hair and applying makeup so it didn’t look like I cried myself to sleep.  Again.  As I had been doing night after night.   

That afternoon, I decided to drive to Bradley’s Diner for lunch.  It would be one of the few times that I dined there without Alex.  Deanie greeted me and escorted me to the booth Alex and I normally shared.

“No Dr. Blake today?” she asked.

I smiled, “No, he’s busy.”  I didn’t want to elaborate on the current events. 

“Aw, that’s too bad.  What can I get you, honey?”

I ordered a cheeseburger, fries, and a shake, hoping to finish at least half.  I’d been loosing weight from lack of food and excessive running.  I had a long hike waiting for me that Saturday with Stefano.  The last thing I needed was to faint on the trail – or even worse – during the jump.  The jump.  My heart raced when I recalled what I was getting myself into.  But I didn’t want to chicken out.  I was determined to follow through with it.

The burger looked so appetizing, yet I could barely eat it.  I picked at it, along with the fries and handled a few sips of the shake.  I asked Deanie for a doggie bag, in high hopes that I would be able to eat more of it later.

A familiar voice came from behind me and I recognized it immediately.  It was Alex.

“Hi Deanie.  Long time no see.”

It was definitely Alex.  Deanie brought him to the booth I was sitting in, which was our usual booth.  Our eyes locked, each one of us surprised to see the other.  Deanie was just doing her job.  She had no idea we were no longer together.

Alex didn’t say anything.  He took a seat across from me and ordered lunch for himself.  He wasn’t even looking at me.  I wanted so much to reach across the table and take his hand, hold it, kiss it, kiss him, hug him and tell him how much I miss him.  But he had ignored my text message the night before, so there was no hope for that.  I gathered the courage to speak.

“I-I wasn’t expecting to see you here,” I almost whispered.

“Oh, I’m sorry.  You must’ve been expecting Jason,” he replied, so cold.  He had dark circles under his eyes and required a clean shave.  I knew he was unhappy without me.  I could tell he wasn’t sleeping well at night.  I knew deep in my heart that he didn’t mean the things he said to me.  He was so angry and wounded, just as I had felt when I found out he was married.  He was only protecting himself from more heartache.

“I’m not with Jason,” I said in my defense.

He put up his hand as if to stop me from speaking.  “Save it.”

I put a twenty-dollar bill on the table to cover my lunch and left immediately, crying the entire way back to work.  Makeup had streaked down my cheeks, causing me to look like a raccoon.  I dabbed and cleaned it with a tissue before getting out of my car and heading back to my office.  So much for trying to cover red and puffy eyes.

As I dabbed my eyes and worked quietly in my office, Laney knocked softly before she entered with a brown bag in her hand.

“Dr. Blake dropped this off for you,” she smiled.  “He looked a little sad – like he’s miserable or something.”

It was the doggie bag lunch I had forgotten at Bradley’s Diner.  “Thanks,” I managed to crack a smile.  How I wished he had knocked on my door and handed me the bag himself.  Even when we weren’t on good terms, he still cared.

When I opened the bag and pulled out the contents, there was a post-it note on the box along with the twenty-dollar bill I had left on the table to pay for my lunch.  “Please eat.  You’re getting so thin,” a handwritten note from Alex.  I had to send him a text message.

Thank you for bringing my doggie bag and thanks for the note.  You didn’t have to pay for my lunch.

I pressed send and hoped for a reply, but didn’t get one – not until I went home that evening.

No worries.

That was it.  Two words.  At least he didn’t ignore me.  I opened a bottle of merlot and drank glass after glass until there was nothing left in the bottle.  I wasn’t in the mood to run that night.  All I wanted to do was get some solid sleep, and wine was going to grant me that one wish.

<><><>

Stefano showed up early on Saturday morning, just as he promised.  My backpack was ready with plenty of bottled water and snacks that I probably wouldn’t even eat.

“Good morning, sunshine,” he said.

“Morning.”

I hadn’t slept much, so I was a bit cranky and disoriented.  A five-mile hike wasn’t something I was looking forward to.

“Is Alex sleeping?  I should probably keep it down,” Stefano said.

“No, he isn’t here.  He’s working,” I lied.

“Oh, okay.  Cool.  Are you sure he’s okay with you and I going alone?” he asked.

“Of course,” another lie.  “How about Mandy?  Is she okay with us going together today?” I asked.

“Oh yeah, totally,” he replied.  Somehow I didn’t buy it.  I didn’t like the way he sounded when he said that.  I wondered if Mandy was upset at him for accompanying me on a full day hike and bungee jump.  She had declined the invitation, so I didn’t see anything wrong with it.  But I still felt uneasy about it.  If Alex and I were still together, he wouldn’t feel comfortable with it at all.  I knew that for a fact.

“Are you nervous?” he asked, one hand on the steering wheel and the other on the shifter.

“I’m sleepy more than anything.  I’m sure I will get nervous when I see the bridge,” I chuckled.

“You’re gonna be fine.  Trust me,” he said.  Trust.  That word was a constant reminder of the crap I was going through with Alex.  If he only trusted me enough to believe that I didn’t kiss Jason Hartley.

Our thirty-minute drive ended when Stefano parked his car near a trail.  Quite a few people had already arrived.  It looked like we were going to join a large group for the hike and jump.  We were supposed to be there by eight o’clock and there was still ten minutes before we head to begin the hike.

The scenery was beautiful during the hike.  The trail to the bridge was surrounded by all of nature’s beauty.  Big, full, green trees and plants made up the path.  There was a plethora of rocks, which made it difficult not to twist an ankle.  Stefano caught me as I almost kissed the ground due to those large, uneven rocks and stones.

“Careful,” he warned, a childish grin on his face, exposing his dimples.

“How much longer?” I asked.

He raised an eyebrow, “Am I really that boring?  Don’t you enjoy taking a hike with me?  I thought friends were supposed to enjoy each other’s company.”

“I absolutely do enjoy your company.  But I’m nervous as hell.  I just want to get this jump over with,” I confessed.

He laughed.  “It’s normal to be nervous before the first jump.  You’re going to be addicted to it after you do it.  Believe me.”

Finally, after a torturous hike, we made it to the giant bridge.  I almost fainted when I looked down and realized how high it was.  It was monstrous!  Who was I kidding?  I couldn’t jump off that bridge with only a giant rubber band wrapped around my waist.  My fear of heights had a very tight grip around me and wouldn’t let go.  I turned away from the bridge and pulled Stefano aside.

“I changed my mind.  I can’t jump,” I told him.

“Come on, Claire.  You can do this.  You got this.  Don’t let it intimidate you.  I know it looks high, but once you jump, I swear you’re gonna love it.  Take my word for it,” he said, holding both of my shoulders to make sure I faced him and heard every word he said.

My palms were sweating like never before and my heart raced as a marathon runners heart after completing a twenty-something mile race.

“Look, you don’t have to go first.  Let other people go ahead of you and just watch them jump and see how much they enjoy it.  I’ll go before you, too.  Okay?” He assured me.

I took a deep breath, “Okay.  I got this.”

I watched the others in the group jump.  Some were first time jumpers and others were pros.  When Stefano’s turn came up, I was extremely nervous for him.  I almost didn’t want to watch.  But I did watch.  And I did see how he yelled out of excitement as he leaped off that bridge.  The cord pulled and released several times as he continued shouting.  “Woo hoo.”

When it was my turn, I almost backed out.  But then when I recalled that I really didn’t have anything to lose, I began feeling more comfortable.  I thought about losing Alex and how badly I wanted him back.  The adventurous side of me began pumping blood into my veins as I allowed them to strap that cord on me and give me the green light.

I looked at Stefano before I let myself go as I jumped backwards from the tallest bridge I had ever set foot on.  At first, I thought my heart was going to stop, but it continued beating to my surprise.  I let out a long and loud scream as I sprung through the air, feeling that there would be no end and no bottom.  How tall was this damn bridge?

Just when I felt like I was literally going to die, I was sprung back up, then back down again until the cord was done springing.  I did it!  I finally understood why people continue to jump after their first jump. The exhilaration was immense.

Once I was back at the top of the bridge, Stefano hugged me and lifted me up.  “How was it?  You were awesome,” he smiled.

“I was scared shitless at first, but then it was almost like jumping off a building and knowing someone or something is going to catch you,” I said, still catching my breath.

“I’m so proud of you,” he said, hugging me again and planting a kiss on my cheek.

“If it wasn’t for your pep talk, I would have backed out.  Thanks,” I said.

Since our jump was over and done with and my nerves were back in place, it was time to eat.  I didn’t have much of an appetite, but we had a five-mile hike back to the car.  If I didn’t eat, I wouldn’t make it there.  I ate a granola bar and a nectarine I had packed in my backpack.  Stefano had plenty of stuff and offered to give me half, but I was already full from what I had.

“You love to eat, don’t you, Stefano?”

“Sure.  And if I’m not mistaken, so do you.  But not today,” he replied.

“It’s the nerves,” I half-lied.

My legs barely made it to the car after another five-mile hike back. It was so hot by that time the air conditioner in his car didn’t help much.  Stefano let out a deep breath.  “That was a really fun time, wouldn’t you say?”

“I’d totally say so, yes.”

“Maybe you’re ready for skydiving,” his eyes lit up.

I raised my eyebrows and shook my head, “Oh no.  Never.”

“Oh, come on, Claire.  You jumped off a damn bridge hanging from a rubber band.  What’s jumping from a plane with a parachute for backup?” he replied.

“It’s different,” I said.  “Jumping from the bridge, I felt like something was going to catch me.  Jumping out of a plane would be crazy.  I’d be so scared on the way down that I’d forget to open the parachute.  You’d be reading about me in the papers the next day.”

He laughed as he wrinkled his nose.  “I just had a mental picture of you splattered all over the ground.  Not so sexy.”

“And that’s exactly what I’ll be – splattered on the ground.  Thanks, but no thanks,” I said hitting him softly on his arm.

When I hung out with Stefano, I had so much fun.  I didn’t think about checking my phone to see if there were any messages from Alex.  It was like all my sadness and worries didn’t exist when we were together.  That’s exactly how I was with Alex.  I didn’t care what was going on in the world when we were together.  I was happy.  I was content.  Now, I was just comfortable.

“Why are you so quiet all of a sudden?” he asked.

“I guess you could say I’m pretty exhausted.”

“Me too.  Are you hungry yet?  I’m starving.” I couldn’t believe he was hungry after all the junk he ate at the bridge.  The hike back probably burned all of what he ate.  I wasn’t hungry.  I was never hungry when I had something on my mind.

“I’m not hungry.  But I’ll join you if you want me to,” I replied.

“You’ll eat something with me.  I hate to eat alone.”

We went to Murray’s Pizza, which was very close to my place.  I shared some pizza with Stefano so he wouldn’t be eating alone.  As much as I didn’t want to look at my phone, I could no longer help it.  I pulled it out of my bag in high hopes that there would be a missed phone call or text message from Alex.  There wasn’t anything from Alex, but there was a text message from Jason.

Please tell me you are doing ok.

I wanted to cut all ties from Jason.  Only work related small talk was allowed.  I needed Alex to see that we were not together and never will be.

More than ok.  I went bungee cord jumping today.

What?  Is this Claire?  Did I accidentally text someone else?

Nope.  This is Claire and you read it correctly.  Everything is wonderful.  Thanks for asking.

Somehow, I don’t believe that.  I want to make things ok between you and Alex.  I want to talk to him.  Maybe I can explain everything to him.

No, Jason.  Just let it be.  You will only make things worse.  Gotta go.  We will talk at work on Monday.

“Are you even listening to a word I’m saying?” Stefano was telling me a story about a dance tour he had been on before his knee injury, but I wasn’t paying attention.  I was too busy looking at my phone.

I looked up.  “I’m sorry.  Work stuff,” I lied, pointing at my phone.  I closed it and put it back in my bag to avoid any further distractions.  “If you’re finished, can we go?”

“Yeah.  Sure.  You didn’t eat much, though,” he had watched me pick at the one small slice of pizza in front of me.

“I’m full,” I replied, getting up and grabbing my backpack.  “Let’s go.”

<><><>

After Stefano dropped me off, I felt so alone again.  I fantasized about Alex paying me a surprise visit.  He would come over and tell me that he believed me and trusted me with all his heart.  He would tell me that he couldn’t live a day without me and was stupid for leaving me.  Wishful thinking.  I was the stupid one for fantasizing.

I was startled by a knock on the door.  I wasn’t expecting anyone and the guard hadn’t called me.  When I opened the door, Stefano was standing there, holding my phone.  “Missing something?”

“My phone,” I said.  “It must have slipped out of the front compartment of my backpack.”

“I know you can’t live without it,” he said, grinning.

“Thanks,” I smiled.  “Hey, do you want to come inside and watch a movie with me?” I asked.  I really didn’t want to be alone, even if it was for an hour or two, I needed company and Stefano was the perfect person for that.

He took a few moments to answer.  I wondered if I was wrong for asking him to join me.  I was about to take back my offer when he said, “I would like nothing more.”

“Great.  We will watch Dumb and Dumber,” I replied.

“I love that movie.  It’s hilarious.  I’ve watched it at least a dozen times,” he laughed.

“Then it’s going to be a hilarious evening.”

And it was a hilarious evening.  My mind was occupied and I was having a great time.  For a moment, I even forgot where I was and that was exactly what I needed.  After the movie ended, I didn’t want Stefano to leave just yet so I offered to start another movie.

“Have you seen Mean Girls?” I asked.

“No.  I don’t think so.  Is it funny?”

“Would I make you watch something that’s not funny?  Give me a little more credit, boy,” I replied.

He narrowed his eyes at me as he scratched his chin.  “Hmm.  I think I can trust you.  You haven’t disappointed me yet with your taste in comedies.  I trust you, buddy.”

“Good.  I’ll make popcorn – microwave popcorn, that is,” I confirmed.

He made a face.  “Microwave popcorn?  Oh, come on,” he said.  I put my hands on my hips and before I could chastise him, he said, “I’m only kidding.  I’ll take it.  Nuked and radiated and all.”

My choice in comedy had satisfied Stefano.  He couldn’t stop laughing throughout the entire movie.  When the movie was finished and he really needed to head out, I realized I was going to be alone again.

It was going to be another sleepless night.  At least I had the memories of an adventurous day to accompany me during the hours I lay awake, staring into darkness.

Chapter 24

I was grateful for the two hours of sleep I got just before sunrise.  I bounced out of bed and decided to clean.  I promised myself that I wouldn’t look at my phone until at least noon.  The only reason to pick it up would be if I received a call.  I was tired of obsessing over the possibly of Alex sending a text message.

Running a bunch of errands would occupy the remainder of the day after I cleaned every corner of my condo.  I put on my gloves and scrubbed away.  Washing my bed was on the top of my list.  Getting Alex’s scent off the sheets would probably help me realize that he wasn’t going to sleep next to me – ever again.

After scrubbing every corner, mopping and vacuuming all the floors, making the windows sparkle as if they were newly installed, and putting all the freshly washed and dried clothes away, I felt somewhat good.

With my grocery list in my hand, I headed to the store.  It was a strange decision to go to the supermarket when I had absolutely no appetite for anything.  What on earth would I buy?  Maybe I’d crave something as I walked up and down the isles, anything to keep me occupied and my mind busy.

I headed to the frozen food section.  How could I go wrong with microwave dinners and ice cream?  I dropped a dozen boxed meals into the cart and strolled on over to the ice cream.  I noticed a familiar face at the ice cream section.  It was John.

“Hey, John.  What’s going on?” I asked.  He was just as surprised to see me.

“Oh, hey.  Not much, just craving shopping for Kathy,” he chuckled.

“She has cravings already?”

“I don’t think they’re cravings.  She thinks the ice cream reduces her morning sickness and makes her stomach feel better,” he replied.

I raised an eyebrow, tilting my head to the side.  “Hmm.  Never heard that one before.  How is she doing?” I asked.

“Well, you know, moping around.  She sleeps a lot.”

“I hope she’s okay on the day of the wedding,” I expressed.

“Why don’t you guys come over later on?  I’m sure she’d be happy to see you.”  It sounded like John didn’t want to be alone with Katherine and needed some help to make her feel better.  “I’ll throw some steaks on the barbeque and we’ll all eat together.”

Then it hit me.  I couldn’t let Katherine know about Alex, especially in her pregnant condition and while planning her wedding.  It would stress her out too much and I didn’t want her to feel sad for me.

“Um, okay.  Alex is working all day, so it’ll just be me,” I lied.

“Just come by as soon as you’re ready,” he smiled.

I bought a few extra containers of ice cream to take to Katherine.  She was going to be pregnant for nine months.  She had a lot of cravings ahead of her.

As soon as I got home, I realized it was past noon.  I was allowed to look at my phone for the possible texts from Alex.  Of course there wasn’t anything from Alex.  But there was one from Stefano.

Good morning, buddy.  Yesterday was so much fun.  Whatcha doin’ today?

As nice as he was for texting me, I wasn’t happy.  I was looking forward to something from Alex – nobody else.

Good afternoon.  Yesterday was amazing, wasn’t it?  Thanks for keeping me company with the movies.  Alex came home very late last night.

I was getting really good at lying and pretending.  In a way I hated it and in another way I kind of liked it.

Oh, that sucks.  Glad you had a great time.  Keep in touch.  Tell Alex hello for me.

Thanks.  I will.  You do the same with Mandy.  I hope we can all get together soon.

I wanted to tell him that I’d tell him hello if he would only talk to me again.  The only talking between Alex and I were arguments and rude comments.  I realized how life could turn upside down in just a flash of a second.  Nothing in life was guaranteed.  Nothing.

With my groceries put away and my refrigerator full, I had nothing left to do around the house.  I did an hour of yoga, showered, and drover to Katherine’s.  John had asked me not to mention anything to her, so she would be surprised when she saw me.

I rang the doorbell and waited for what seemed like forever for someone to come to the door.  “I’m getting it, calm down,” I could hear Katherine complain.  She gasped when she opened the door and saw me.  “Oh my god, it’s you!”  She hugged me so hard that I thought my lungs were going to burst through my ribs.

Katherine was a mess.  Her hair was oily and uncombed, she had stains on her clothes, and she looked much thinner than me.  She looked miserable.

“Hey, my love, “ I said, slowly pulling away from her grip of a hug.

“I’m so glad you’re here,” she said, taking my hand and pulling me into the living room.  “John’s driving me crazy,” she whispered.  But I had a feeling it was the other way around.

“I brought you some ice cream,” I said, holding the bag up.  She really needed to shower and do something with her hair and change her stained clothes.  “How about this: why don’t you go shower and change while I help John with the food?” I offered.

“What are you trying to say?” she pouted.

“If you were anyone else, I would lie and beat around the bush, but I’m going to give it to you straight.  You look like you could use a little clean up, so why don’t you go take a shower and I will take care of everything else,” I said.

“Really?” she asked.

“Yes.  Really.  I’ll even do laundry and clean the place if you need me to.” I sure was in the cleaning mood.

“That’s so sweet, Claire.  I love you,” she hugged me again.  She pulled herself back suddenly as if she just realized something.  “Where’s Alex?”

“He’s working.  He’s been very busy lately,” I frowned.

“Oh, that’s too bad,” she said, looking down.  Then I caught her looking at my hand.  Oh shit.  I knew she had noticed the missing ring.  Nothing went unnoticed when Katherine was around.  “Where’s your ring?”

“Oh, uh, I was cleaning this morning so I had to take it off.  I forgot to put it back on,” I lied.  I was getting really good at lying.

“Hmm.  I see,” she said.

Did she know I wasn’t telling the truth?  I had to think of something else.  “When I put on the cleaning gloves, my ring tore it.  I went through a few gloves before I figured I should take it off so I wouldn’t ruin the last pair I had,” I lied.  Again.

“Oh, you and your cleaning obsession,” she scowled.  “When are you going to change?” she asked, spinning around and heading for the hallway.  Then she turned back around.  “Wait, why are you cleaning?  I thought Alex hired a housekeeper,” she looked confused.

“Yeah, but they don’t clean to my expectations.  You know I have OCD.  Go on and take a shower, I’m starving,” my final lie.

John was preparing the grill outside so he could throw the steaks on it.  I cleaned up the kitchen, put things away, organized, and sanitized the hell out of it as I had done to my place in the morning.

“Thank you,” he said when he noticed the huge change inside.  “Thank you for helping with the cleaning and for convincing her to quit moping around.”

“Not a problem at all,” I replied, opening the refrigerator and pulling out lettuce to make a salad.  John took the steaks out back and began grilling.  I wished I were a better cook, so I could find a few other things in the refrigerator or pantry and create a masterpiece out of nothing.  But I sucked at that.  Alex was born to do those things.  He just had it in him.  The more I thought about him the more I missed him and my eyes began to sting as I held back tears.  I had to get myself together if I didn’t want Katherine to know about Alex – not until after her wedding, anyway.  I would keep quiet about it until after their honeymoon, then I could cry on her shoulder.

Katherine appeared after a shower, her beautifully applied light makeup and combed and dried hair made her look healthy and happy again.

“Are you the same girl who opened the door for me earlier?” I asked.  “Because you look way cleaner than she did,” I teased.

She gasped when she noticed how clean the kitchen was.  Were those tears building up in her eyes?  She walked toward me with her arms wide open as tears began running down her cheeks.  She hugged me hard, just like she had when she opened the door.

“I love you.  I’m so glad you’re here.  You didn’t have to clean, Claire.  You just being here makes me happy,” she said.

“Then why are you crying?”

“It’s hormones.  You wouldn’t know since you’ve never been preg-” she stopped and pulled away.  “Shit.  I’m sorry.  I totally forgot,” she apologized.

“Don’t worry about it.  Everything happens for a reason,” I said, slowly pulling away from her suffocating hug.  “Hey, do you have any laundry I can help with?”

She looked at me as if I was losing my mind.  “Are you applying for a job as my maid?” she asked.

I laughed.  “No, but since I’m here I can totally help.  It gets boring at home when Alex works long hours,” I lied.  Again.

“Let’s just focus on food for now,” she replied.  Food.  That was something I wasn’t excited about.  I would rather clean toilets than eat.

There was a lot of tension between John and Katherine while we ate.  I could sense it.  Something just wasn’t right.  I tried to change things up by talking about my bungee cord jumping experience, but even that didn’t get the conversation going like it normally would have.  I mean, I told them that I jumped off a bridge by the support of a big rubber band and they didn’t react the way I thought they would. 

I had no appetite anyway, so I dropped my napkin down on the table.  “All right, you two.  What’s going on?”

“What do you mean?” asked John.

“I mean if you two need to discuss something or fight it out, I could come back another day.  Or we can all talk about it and maybe I can help,” I said.  “I don’t like this tension I’m feeling between the two of you a week before your damn wedding.”

“Why don’t you ask him,” said Katherine, irritated as hell.

“John,” I turned to him.  “Is something wrong?  You both know I can sense things a mile away.”

“He kissed some bitch!” Katherine screamed.  My mouth dropped open.  John wouldn’t do that.  He loved her too much and he wasn’t the type of guy to go around kissing other girls.

“I was out with the guys and had a few drinks.  One thing led to another and I ended up kissing this girl – it meant absolutely nothing, I swear,” he expressed.

“Can you believe he did something like this right before our fucking wedding?!” There was no calming Katherine down at that point.  I turned to John, who looked extremely regretful for what he had done.

“How did you find out?  Did you see him do it?” I asked Katherine.  John remained quiet.

“He told me,” her eyes threw daggers at him as she spoke to me.

“I told her because I couldn’t live with that secret.  I want to be open and completely honest about everything that happens in my life.  I could have kept it to myself, but I love her too much to do that.  I try to do something right and it’s still wrong in her book,” he said.

“You’re an asshole!” she shouted and charged to the bedroom.  I jumped up and headed after her.  Katherine was on her bed, crying her eyes out.  She spoke nonsense about leaving him and raising the baby on her own.  Her brilliant idea was to cancel the wedding and never speak to him again.  I knew it was her hormones doing all the talking.

“Look,” I began.  “John is not the type of guy to cheat on you.  I really do believe him when he says it didn’t mean anything.  You know, Kathy, he could have really kept it to himself.  You would never have known.  I think it takes balls for someone to come forth with something like that,” and that was my honest opinion.

I was damn good at lecturing Katherine, but I didn’t practice what I preached.  I could have told Alex about the kiss with Jason as soon as I returned from the conference, but I kept it to myself.  I kept a secret, which came out later in a bigger and twisted way.  A secret that was revealed as the opposite of what happened – a punishment for me.

If Katherine ever received pictures of John kissing that girl, it wouldn’t be such a big deal anymore.  He wasn’t keeping any secrets.  He was being honest and loyal to the woman that he loved.  After a good hour of expressing my feelings and opinions on the matter, Katherine seemed to agree with me.

“You see, Kathy, he’s a good person.  You will never find another John.  Forgive him, forget what happened, and move on,” I said, moving her hair from her face.

She nodded, “Okay.  You’re so right.  Will you do me one favor?” she asked.

“Sure.  Name it.”

“Go home and put that rock back on your finger,” she said, chuckling through her tears.

I laughed.  “Of course.”  If only I still had it.  “Only if you go back out there and give John a kiss and tell him how much you love him and forgive him.  We have a wedding next Saturday.  The show must go on,” I said.  “Oh, and a bachelorette party,” I winked.

“Oh,” she frowned.  “I was going to tell you that I don’t want one.  John told me he doesn’t want a bachelor party, especially after what happened.  So, since I’m pregnant and not the coolest person to party with right now, I’ll take a rain check for a girls night out after the baby is born,” she grinned.

“Whatever you want,” I smiled.

“Friday night is the rehearsal dinner.  I will text you all the details,” she said as she got up from the bed and headed toward the living room.  Watching them hug and kiss moistened my eyes.  I decided it was time for me to leave the two lovebirds alone so they could kiss and make up.

<><><>

I moped around for the rest of the evening.  There was nothing to do, nobody to see, and no Alex to hold me tight and tell me that he loves me.  I looked at my phone only to find nothing.  There were no texts, voicemail messages, missed calls, or emails from Alex.

There weren’t any messages from Stefano either.  I assumed he was enjoying a romantic evening with Mandy.  Everyone would be enjoying a romantic moment or two with their loved ones except for me.  I figured I could enjoy a romantic evening with a bottle of wine to help me sleep.

After a few large glasses of wine, I felt brave enough to text Alex.

I miss you.  I would do anything to have you here right now.

I kept checking my phone all night, but there was no response from Alex.  I should never have sent that text.  I wished I could take it back, but it was too late.  Now the thought of him ignoring me was eating at me.  There were puddles of tears on my pillow, which was how my evenings had been after Alex left.

All that wine still didn’t put me to sleep all night.  With only an hour of sleep, I was forced to get up and face the day – the beginning of another painful week.  The exhaustion was killing me.  I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me whole.

The dark circles and bags under my eyes made me look hideous.  No matter how much concealer I applied, it was no use.  I only looked worse.

Taryn’s morning was very different than mine.  She was so cheerful and happy that it made me wonder what she took her morning coffee with.  If there was a happy pill, I wanted it.  No, I needed it.

“What’s wrong, Claire?” she asked.  “Is it Alex?  He’s still mad at you?”

“Mad?  No.  He hates me.  He thinks I’m a cheating bitch that slept with a colleague.  Life could not possibly get shittier for me than it is now,” I confessed.

She frowned, applying her hand on my shoulder.  “I’m sorry.  I wish there was something I could do,” she said genuinely.  “Have you tried calling him?”

“He doesn’t return my calls or reply to my texts.”

“That sucks.  Did you hear his ex is working here now?” she asked, her eyes wide.

“Yup,” I didn’t want to talk about Angela.

“You better get to him before he goes back to her.  I saw them chatting the other day.  It looked like a friendly chat, but they have a history together.  From the looks of it, she seemed to still want him,” she said, stabbing through my heart.

One thing I didn’t want to hear about that morning was Alex connecting with Angela.  The thought of them engaged in a friendly conversation killed me.  I imagined them getting back together and married again – this time with children.  Oh my god.  She would give him the children he’s always wanted and I would be the ex cheater bitch this time around.  It seemed like the perfect time for the ground to open up and pull me down.

“What do you mean she seemed to still want him?” I just had to know more, even if it was going to be the end of me.

“Well, you know.  She was looking at him as if she was making love to him with her eyes – like she longed to be with him again,” she replied.

I put my hand up.  “Okay.  I don’t want to hear anymore.  I think I’m gonna be sick,” I said, holding my empty stomach.

I walked directly to the coffee stand to get a strawberry smoothie.  I knew it was full of sugar, but it was the only thing I could put down without chewing.  It was the only thing that was going to prevent me from fainting.  My esophagus was on fire from all the wine I had in high hopes of a night of great sleep.

Laura accompanied me during lunch as we walked across the street.  I noticed Alex standing outside of the medical plaza talking to Taryn.  I wanted to walk over and ask him why he didn’t reply to the message, but I held myself back.  Taryn was smiling, but Alex was serious.  Whatever she was talking to him about didn’t make him smile the way she was smiling.  He hated me.  It was more and more obvious every day.

When Alex noticed me, he cut the conversation short and took off.  Was he afraid that I would approach him?  He really didn’t want to talk to me or even see me.  My heart felt heavier at that moment.

When I approached Taryn, she said, “I’m sorry.  I tried talking to him and convincing him how much you still love him, but he didn’t want to hear it.”

“It’s okay.  I’m okay,” I said and joined Laura for lunch, eating nothing but a tomato.

<><><>

After work, I didn’t want to go home.  I wanted to go anywhere but home.  I decided to stop by the studio.  It was late enough and Stefano would just be finishing up a dance class.

Julietta was sitting at the front desk.  She got so excited when she saw me.  She jumped up and hugged me.  “Hello, beautiful girl.  Stefano will be so happy that you’re here,” she said.  It seemed she was more excited to see me than Stefano would be.

I hugged her back.  “I missed you, Julietta.  It’s so good to see you.”

I waited about ten minutes for the class to finish.  Stefano looked surprised with a confused look on his face when he saw me, but he still smiled.  Another five minutes and class was over.

“Don’t forget to practice.  Or else,” he told the class.  He walked over to me as I stood against the wall.  “Well, well, well.  What a nice surprise.  Let me guess; Alex is working late,” he chuckled.

“Yes, you guessed right.”

I put on the best fake smile I could force.  He was reading me closely.  I could feel his eyes on me.  Even though he pretended to believe what I was saying, I knew that he didn’t.  But I was going to stick to my story.

All the students went home and Julietta closed and locked the front of the studio.  She gave me a kiss goodbye on my cheek and asked me to talk to Stefano so he could feel better.

“What’s wrong?” I asked him.  He looked at his mother as if she spilled the beans when he didn’t want her to.

“Nothing,” he said, trying to speak to her with his eyes.

“It’s not nothing, Stefano.  They broke up,” she turned to me.

I gasped.  “Who?  You and Mandy?”

“Mom.  Seriously?”

“She’s your good friend.  She should know,” she told him.

“You and Mandy broke up?  When?  Why?”

“Yeah.  We kept fighting and she moved out.  I don’t want to talk about it,” he replied.

After Julietta left, we headed up to the loft area where Stefano threw himself on the couch and exhaled loudly.

“Are you upset that your mom told me about Mandy?” I asked.

“Kind of.  I wanted to tell you myself.  I wish she had given me the chance.”

I sat on the opposite side of the couch, taking off my heels and pulling my feet up.  I recalled how much fun we used to have at the studio when I danced there.

“Enough about me,” he said.  “What’s been going on with you, Claire?”

I knew he could read me.  I sensed it over the weekend when we went on the bungee cord jumping excursion and spent the remainder of the evening watching movies.  I knew he sensed something and I was afraid he would ask about it over the weekend.  But he hadn’t.

“Everything is fine with me.  When did Mandy move out?”

“Two weeks ago.  Don’t change the subject,” he said.

“The subject is Mandy and I’m not the one changing it,” I replied.

He slid himself to my side of the couch.  “Look.  I know something is so wrong with you.  You go bungee jumping with me and tell me Alex can’t go, but he’s okay with it.  Bullshit number one.  Then, you tell me Alex is working all day and night.  Bullshit number two.  He’s already got way too much money to put in those hours and he would want to spend that time with you.  And now you’re here because Alex is supposedly working long hours again.  Where’s your ring, Claire?”

I couldn’t speak.  I broke down in tears, sobbing.  I intended to eventually tell Stefano about Alex, but not that day.  I wanted to continue pretending that everything was okay at home and only needed a friend to keep me company so I wouldn’t lose my mind.

“What did he do?  Tell me what happened.  Do I need to kick his ass?”

I shook my head, “No.”  I could barely hear myself speak.

“Tell me.  Talk to me.  I thought we’re friends,” he said, wiping away the tears that rolled down my cheeks.

“We are friends,” I replied softly.

“Then talk to me.  What did he do?”

“Alex didn’t do anything.  It was me,” I glanced at him from the corner of my eye.

“You?” he asked.

“Well, it wasn’t even me.  I don’t know what or who.”

“You’re not making sense, Claire,” he said.

“Can you hand me my purse, please?” I asked.  He leaned over to the coffee table and grabbed my purse.  I pulled out the photos and handed them to him.  “Observe all the photos closely and tell me what you see.”

His eyes grew wide as he brought the photos closer to his eyes and pulled them far away, trying to focus on what was in the pictures.

“Why does this guy look familiar to me?” he asked.

“My promotion party at Alex’s place.  He was there.  His name is Jason,” I clarified.

“Yeah.  I remember.  What the hell, Claire?”

“Look at all the photos and tell me what you think happened.”

He scattered all the pictures on the coffee table and observed them closely.  “What it looks like to me is you totally kissing him and oh, is that a bathrobe?” He picked up the pictures of me in a bathrobe going back and forth to Jason’s room.  “Oh my god.  You went to his room?  Is that you going into his room with only a robe on?” He looked at me with disappointed eyes.  I could only imagine how Alex looked when he first laid eyes on those pictures.  “But something tells me nothing happened between you and this Jason guy.  You’re not that kind of girl.  I still don’t know what it takes to get a kiss from you – one that is mutual.  I doubt Jason was able to solve that mystery.”

“You’re absolutely right.” I told him everything.  I began with the conference and ended with Alex throwing that envelope at me.

“It’s his loss.  If anything, he should be fighting for you,” he said.

I grabbed my head.  “I have a pounding headache.  I haven’t slept in days.  I only get an hour or two a night, which is nothing.”

“I’ll be back,” he said and returned with a pillow, blanket, and aspirin.  After I took the aspirin, he put the pillow under my head and covered me with the blanket.  “Just close your eyes and try to take a nap.  You don’t look like you should be driving,” he said, taking a seat on the floor in front of the couch.

My eyelids felt heavy, but I didn’t want to fall asleep.  I wanted to talk.  “Tell me what happened with Mandy.”

“Nothing happened.  We fought a lot so she moved out,” he cut it short, shrugging his shoulders.

“I told you my story.  It’s not fair if you don’t tell me yours.”

“Let’s make a deal.  You close your eyes and take a little nap and when you wake up, I will tell you all about it,” he offered, yawning.

“Deal.”  I reached for my phone inside my purse.  I had high hopes that Alex had contacted me, but my hopes were crushed when there was nothing there.   I threw my phone back in my purse and noticed Stefano yawn again.  I pulled the blanket away. “You can lie down next to me.  I know you’re sleepy too,” I said.

Stefano’s eyes lit up.  “Really?  I promise I won’t try anything,” he said.

“You bet your ass you won’t try anything,” I said as he laughed and crawled in next to me.  It was a little tight for two people, but I was so exhausted that I didn’t have the energy to complain.

He made himself comfortable next to me with his arm around my waist.  I lifted his arm and applied it back on his body.  “Where else am I supposed to put my arm in this small space?”

“On your own body,” I replied.  “If you do that again, you will lose couch privileges for good.”

“Yes ma’am,” he said, trying to keep his limbs to himself.

I began drifting off to sleep very slowly.  I could feel myself relax and succumb to a possible good nap until Stefano spoke again.  “Claire?”

“Hmm?”

“I’m really glad you’re here,” he whispered.

“Me too,” I replied and drifted into the land of solid sleep.

Chapter 25

For a few seconds after I woke up, I was so disoriented that I didn’t know where I was.  I looked around and realized I was at the dance studio, up in the loft area on the couch.  Stefano was asleep next to me.

I didn’t want to wake him up, so I planned to slowly get up without him noticing.  I reached for my phone and took a quick peek at the time.  It was almost three o’clock in the morning.  I had slept for over six hours.  I searched for messages or missed calls from Alex, but again there was nothing.

I lifted my body up into a sitting position as slowly as I could, but was pulled back by Stefano.  “Why are you getting up?” he asked, sounding as disoriented as I felt when I first awakened.

“It’s almost three.  I have to get home so I can change and go to work,” I said.

“Ten more minutes.  Please,” he pleaded, softly pulling me back on the couch.

“Okay, ten more minutes if you tell me what happened between you and Mandy,” I negotiated.

“Oh, come on,” he grunted.

“It’s only fair.  You said you’d tell me.”

“In a nutshell, she wants something more since we’re living together – or were living together – and I’m not ready to commit just yet.  So we kept arguing about stupid stuff.  She said I spent too much time at the studio and was probably in love with someone else.  The constant girls night out with her friends began to piss me off, so we had such a big fight that she packed her bags and left.  Now you know,” he said.

I thought Mandy was the one for Stefano.  “This makes me sad.  She was the one for you.”

“I thought so too,” he frowned.  “I really miss her.”

“I’m sorry. I’m here if you need to talk,” I said.

“I know.”  He wrapped his arm around my waist.

I moved his arm and applied it back on his body.  “Limbs to yourself, remember?”

“I find it extremely difficult to resist touching you when you’re so close to me,” he said, almost in a whisper.  I found myself turning my body to face him, his lips less than an inch away from mine.  He put his hand on my back and pulled me towards him until every part of me touched every part of him.  I could feel him hard against my pelvis.  Every ounce in me told me to get up and leave.  It was wrong and I had to get home.

I was unable to obey my conscience as I leaned closer to him, lifting my chin as my lips met his.  My heart began to race as I parted my lips, my tongue dancing around his.  I felt his hands against my skin as they traveled from my hip to my breasts.  He moaned against my mouth as his kisses became more passionate.

Suddenly, reality kicked in and I realized what I was doing was wrong.  I didn’t want to be with Stefano.  It was only a heat-of-the-moment feeling.  I needed to get out of there.  I had to get home.

I grabbed his hands and moved them away from my body as I pulled my lips away from his.  Confusion filled his dark eyes, his breath heavy, and his heart beating hard against his chest.  I stood up off the couch.

“This isn’t what we want, Stefano.  Our hearts are in a different place.  We are both feeling wounded.  I don’t want to do anything in the heat of the moment that I will regret – that we will both regret.”

“I would never regret anything I do with you,” his tone was serious, his eyes fixated on mine.

“I care about you, Stefano.  But I’m in love with Alex and I don’t want to lose this friendship I have with you,” I said.

“I’ll walk you to your car.”  He got up and walked down to the main floor of the studio.

I gathered my things and straightened my clothes before following him.  He was waiting for me at the entrance of the studio.  The tension between us was difficult for me to tolerate.  I needed him to be my friend, to listen and to advise me on what to do next.  What I didn’t need from Stefano was a bad attitude.  Before I even opened my mouth to say anything, he beat me to it.

“I’m so stupid,” he said, turning to me as he stood next to my car. “I’m so gullible to think that you would feel anything toward me when it’s Alex’s name that rolls off your tongue a million times while you’re asleep.  It’s Alex you dream about.  It’s not me and it will never be me.”  He shrugged, taking a few steps back. “I’m just a guy that wants a girl who doesn’t want me back,” he shook his head slowly.

“Stefano I-”

“And you only come around when things are not going well with him,” he added as he cut me off.

“But we’ve never been anything more than-”

“Friends,” he finished my sentence.  “We’ve never been anything more than friends.  And honestly, Claire, I don’t even think we can be friends after this.”

I was dumbfounded.  I was lost.  Why would he turn his back on me when I needed him most?

“You’re not making any sense,” I said, praying that it was a bad dream I would soon awaken from.

“That came out wrong, I’m sorry.  What I’m trying to say is that I feel things toward you that you don’t feel toward me.  It’s a more-than-a-friend feeling,” he explained.

“So, you’re dumping me as your friend,” I concluded.

“You make it sound horrible.”

I didn’t know how else to make it sound.  I lost my fiancé and now I was losing my friend because he couldn’t tolerate his feelings for me when I was around.  Things couldn’t get any shittier than this, I thought.

In a way, I knew what Stefano meant.  Back in high school, I had a huge crush on a guy named David Hill.  We were good friends, but I wished we had been more than that.  Every minute I spent with him, I fantasized about us as a couple.  I imagined us kissing, holding hands, him walking me to class and planting a kiss on my lips for the entire school to see.

A friend of mine revealed my secret to David and I was crushed to find out that he didn’t share the same feeling toward me.  He was in love with Cindy Marks, a cheerleader, of course.  I found it more and more difficult to be around David after I knew I was on a one-way street.  We slowly grew apart as friends and he ended up dating Cindy Marks.  I heard they were married after graduating from college.  I guess it was meant to be for those two.

I thanked God for unanswered prayers after I met Alex.  If I had ended up with David, then I wouldn’t have met Alex.  But now everything had turned upside down and I didn’t have anyone at all.  Had I done something in my lifetime that I was being punished for?  Was this karma?

“It is horrible.”  My eyes began to fill with tears even though I tried so hard to stop them.  “You really broke my heart, Stefano,” I said, hurrying into my car and shutting the door.

He knocked on the window, “I’m sorry.  Roll down the window,” he said, but I didn’t.  I drove off.  He called a bunch of times while I drove home, so I put my phone on silent.  I didn’t want to talk to him or anyone.

My phone was filled with missed calls and text messages from Stefano and as I scrolled through the “I’m sorry” bullshit. I wished they were from Alex instead.  Why couldn’t I be friends with Stefano without the expectation of something more?

I didn’t want to think anymore.  I showered, dressed, and headed to work at the crack of dawn, since sleep wasn’t in the cards.

<><><>

After I parked my car in the parking structure of the hospital, I saw Alex pull up in his black Porsche and park in the physicians-only parking space.  I had backed in my car so I could see him clearly across the way.  I froze.  I didn’t want to get out of my car just yet.  I just wanted to watch him walk toward the building.  It was the only way I could really see him these days without being pushed away.

At that moment, I wished I had a flat tire like the first day we met.  Maybe he would change the tire for me and agree to a cup of coffee or dinner.

As he walked past my car, he saw me.  He looked right at me, directly into my eyes, but didn’t even budge.  There was no smile or a nod to gesture hello.  It was so cold it sent chills through me.  But I knew behind that cold stare, he had to miss me at least a tiny bit.  The dark circles under his eyes revealed that he wasn’t sleeping well.  He didn’t have the clean shave he normally had and his hair wasn’t perfectly combed as it always was.  I just knew deep down in my soul that he missed me at least a little.

He froze me with his cold blue eyes and then he was gone and I had to face another day alone, wishing things were as they had been before that damn conference.

“I’m so sorry to bug you or even be seen talking to you after what happened, but I need you to look over some reports,” said Jason, peeking his head into my office soon after I got settled in.  I had asked that Jason keep his distance from me, since I didn’t want it to appear that we were really together, but I changed my mind.

“You know what?  We are going to go back to the way things were before Alex discovered our ‘secret’ affair,” I said.  “We have nothing to hide and I’m tired of trying to make him believe me.”

“Claire, listen, I really want to make things better between you and Alex.  I promise that in time, I will speak to him and make him understand that nothing happened,” he expressed.

“Ha!  Good luck with that.  Let me know how it goes,” sarcasm filled my tone.  I noticed something had changed in me after what Stefano said the night before.  I was angry at the universe for the way it was treating me.

The thought of Stefano reminded me to look at my phone.  I scrolled through many missed calls and texts from him and was determined not to respond to any of it.  He needed to know how badly breaking our friendship broke my heart.  Maybe I was better off without his friendship.

“So, you’ll look over the reports?” asked Jason.

“What?”  I had almost forgotten that Jason was in my office.  “Oh, yeah.  Just email those to me,” I replied, slowly coming back to reality.

I struggled for most of the morning.  My head felt as though it was going to explode from the massive headache I had.  I looked in my bag, but couldn’t find any painkillers.  I decided to walk across to the pharmacy and stock up on meds.

After collecting everything I needed off the shelves, I headed toward the cashier.  I could hear a woman complaining to the pharmacy technician.  She had long, dark hair and wore a lab coat.  “This happens every time.  I call down here to confirm exactly which medication I want to prescribe and you mess it up every single time.  What are we going to do about this?”

“I’m sorry, Dr. Blake.  We’ve been very busy lately.”  Oh my god.  Angela.  I didn’t know whether to drop my things and leave or hide until she was gone.  By the time I stirred up a plan in my head, she turned around, bumped into me and caused me to drop everything to the ground.

“I’m sorry,” she said, bending down to help me pick up the combination of pain medication, band-aid’s, hand lotion, and cough drops.

“It’s o-okay,” I said, looking at her up close.  I hadn’t been this close to her since the day she appeared at Alex’s doorstep, introducing herself to me as his wife and another time when she was homeless and stopped Alex and I on our way to lunch to speak with him.

“Hey, are you Claire?” she asked.  She looked the same as the last time I saw her – with a little bit too much plastic on her face.  Her lips looked more plump than before.

“Yes.  It’s n-nice to see you again, Angela,” I said, trying to hurry on out of there.

“Congratulations on the engagement,” she said, her eyes searching for my ring.  She didn’t know?  I wondered if I should tell her that there isn’t going to be a wedding after all.  If she knew about the break up, she was a damn good actress.

“Thank you,” I said, hiding my hand.

“I’m sure Alex will try his best to keep you somewhat happy,” she added.

Somewhat happy?  I wanted to tell her that he wasn’t going to make me any kind of happy after all, but I didn’t want to give her the satisfaction of knowing, just in case she really hadn’t heard the news.

“Nice ring,” she said, glancing at my bare fingers before leaving the pharmacy.  She knew.

I quickly paid for the items and rushed back to the hospital.  I was so angry with the way she had treated me and was even more angry with the way the universe was allowing all of it.  Why me?

I softened when I received a text from my brother, Calvin.

Gonna visit dad at work tomorrow.  Maybe I’ll stop by and we could have lunch.

At least I had something to look forward to.  I grabbed a yogurt from the coffee cart before I replied.

Looking forward to it.  Call me when you get here.

When I returned to my office, I looked over the reports Jason had asked me to help with.  I forced the yogurt down and realized it wasn’t so bad after all.  It was breakfast and lunch all in one.  It would probably be dinner as well.

<><><>

I left work after seven o’clock that evening.  It had been a very long day and I was exhausted.  I sorted through the mail as soon as I got home.  One of the envelopes caught my eye.  It looked similar to the letters I had received before.  I opened it quickly, almost giving myself a paper cut.

So, Claire…

The engagement is really off, huh?  Didn’t I tell you that you’re better off without him?  Next time, pick them with your brain, not your heart.  You should’ve listened to me a long time ago to spare you the heartbreak.

Anonymous

Ugh! It also smelled of strong men’s cologne just like the other one.  Who the hell had I smelled that nasty cologne on?  It sure wasn’t anything Alex used.

If it wasn’t one thing, it was another.  I wanted to run away, move away, far away, even if it meant moving to Mars.

Just when I thought it wasn’t possible for anything else to surprise me, the guard called to let me know that Stefano Mancini was at the gate.

“Should I let him through, Miss Morgan?” he asked.

“Sure,” I ordered dryly.  He didn’t want to be friends, yet he felt he could show up unannounced.

I opened the front door and went about my business.  I stuffed the letter into the envelope and added it to the other ones in my purse.  I had quite the collection.

Stefano knocked softly on the open door before entering.  “Anybody home?” he asked.

I continued organizing my things, my back turned to him.  “If I knew you were coming I would have tidied up the place a bit,” I lied.

He sighed.  “If you listened to any of my messages or read my text messages you would have known I was coming.”

When I turned around to begin my argument with him, I stopped myself.  He stood there with a box of my favorite cupcakes and a stuffed teddy bear in his hands.  I had a feeling he felt bad for the things he had said to me about not wanting to be friends.

“Care to share a cupcake or two with me and Mr. Teddy?” he asked, a boyish grin spread across his face.

“Sure,” I smiled.  “I can’t say no to cupcakes.”

We sat at the dining table and opened the box of goodies.  When I stood up to get dessert plates, I was extremely lightheaded.  I tried to walk toward the kitchen. When I realized how bad it was, I returned back to the dining table and held onto Stefano’s arm for support.

“You okay?” he asked when he noticed I wasn’t okay.

I took a seat quickly and closed my eyes, wishing the dark spots in front of my eyes would go away.  I felt very weak for a few seconds.  Slowly, the faint feeling began to diminish.

“Yeah.  I’m fine now,” I replied, opening my eyes to make sure the black spots were completely gone.

“What happened?  I thought you were going to pass out on me like that one time in the studio,” he said, recalling the night he had to rush me to the hospital.  It was the night after our trip to Vegas.  I didn’t know I was pregnant and had partied a little too hard, dehydrating myself.

“I was very lightheaded.  I think it’s because I haven’t been eating much.  Come to think of it, I only took a few bites of food all day,” I said.

“You gotta get it together, Claire.  I know you love him and everything, but if he doesn’t trust you then he’s not the one for you.  Look at what he’s doing to you?” he said, his palms facing the ceiling and his fingertips pointed toward me.

“If you came over to lecture me, you can leave,” I said firmly.

“I didn’t come here to lecture you.  I came to apologize and tell you I didn’t mean the things I said last night.  Well, the part that I have feelings for you is true, but not the part where I don’t want to be friends,” he clarified.

    I softened.  “I’m sorry too.  That kiss should never have happened,” I said, recalling the intense kiss we shared – the kiss I didn’t want to remember because I was afraid of how good it made me feel.  If I didn’t have such good self-control, that kiss would have led into a night of sex.

“Well, it happened.  And don’t deny that you didn’t feel anything because I know you did,” he replied, his dark eyes penetrating into mine.  I had to look away – it was that intense.  “About the friendship thing – I still want you in my life.  I still want to be friends, but I think hanging out all day like the bungee jumping excursion is probably not a good idea.”

“I totally get it.  And I shouldn’t have showed up at the studio and crashed on your couch with you next to me.  We were asking for trouble,” I replied. 

He chuckled.  “Trouble isn’t the term I would use, but it’s all good.  Oh, by the way, I called Mandy today,” he smiled.

“You did?” I beamed.

“I did and we are going to dinner tomorrow night.  We’re going to take it slow and try to figure things out,” he said.

That was exactly what I wanted Stefano to do.  Mandy was perfect for him.  I knew they would have ups and downs like normal couples, but in the end they belonged together.  She was the beautiful, sweet, and caring woman he needed in his life.

“I’m so happy to hear that.”

“So, what are we going to feed you?  You need nutrition, not junk.  Let me take you out for a decent meal.  What do you say?” he asked.

“Like a friendly meal, right?” I chuckled.

“Whatever makes you feel better is cool with me.  I don’t want you passing out on me ever again,” he said, his finger pointed toward me.

“Okay.  Let me change so we can head out,” I said, heading up the stairs to change into a pair of jeans and a blouse.  My clothes were really falling off of me.  I hoped my dress for Katherine’s wedding wouldn’t fall off of me during the ceremony or reception.  I made a mental note to try it on before I headed to bed that night.  The most important thing on my mind aside from the dress was food.  I had to eat if I didn’t want to faint and make a fool out of myself at the wedding.

As we headed out the door, I noticed he drove his car instead of his motorcycle.  “Where’s the Ducati?  You know I like to live dangerously and yet you brought a car?” I joked.

“Yeah.  I’ve noticed the whole living dangerously thing,” he said, opening the car door so I could get situated.

When he came around and took a seat, he asked, “So, where are we going?”

“Sushi?” I asked.

“I was hoping you’d say that,” he grinned.

Stefano ordered so many things from the menu because he couldn’t decide what he wanted.  It was mind over matter for me.  I had to fit into that dress.  Most people focused on losing weight to fit into a dress for an occasion.  I, on the other hand, had to eat to fatten myself up for that dress.  Some would love to be in my shoes.  I begged to differ.

“I’m going to make a prediction,” began Stefano.  “I predict that within the next month, you will have that ring back on your finger.”

I couldn’t help but laugh.  “Oh, Stefano, my friend.  You are quite the optimist.  But Alex is done with me.  In his eyes I am a cheater – a whore who couldn’t keep her hands off the man she works with.”

“I’m serious, Claire.  I really think he will come around.  You’re not that easy to forget.  He won’t give up on you – if he’s got half the brains I think he has,” he confessed.

I shook my head, “Nah, I don’t think that’s going to happen.  You know what they say – trust is like glass, once broken, it will never again be the same.”

“It will be his loss,” he said, his eyes glued to mine so permanently, I had to look away once again.  “Hey, look, you ate six pieces of spicy tuna rolls.”

My eyes widened.  It was more than I had eaten in days put together.  The following day was the rehearsal dinner for Katherine and John’s wedding.  Another day of eating myself back to health was all I needed.  Oh, and tons of concealer to cover the dark circles under my eyes.  That was number one on my list of necessities for the wedding.

“Thanks for this,” I said.  If it weren’t for Stefano, I would probably be at home moping around, cleaning, doing excessive laundry, crying, and dwelling on those stupid anonymous letters that smelled of old men’s cologne.  “I really needed this.  Your timing is impeccable.”

“Anything for my buddy.  Besides, I was feeling so down after what I said yesterday.  And the fact that you were ignoring all my calls and text messages were making me a little crazy,” he chuckled.  “How about dessert?”

“You brought cupcakes, remember?  We’ll have that for dessert,” I replied.

“Oh, yeah,” he recalled.  He took care of the bill and we headed back to my place.

I was so full from dinner that I felt like I was going to pop.  I threw my bag on the couch and grabbed two bottles of Perrier from the refrigerator.

“Catch,” I said, throwing one toward Stefano.

“Whoa,” he said, almost missing it.  “You know glass breaks, right?”

“I knew you’d catch it.  You have great dancer’s reflex,” I chuckled.

I watched him eat a cupcake, not interested in sharing at that moment.  All I could think about was if I would be able to sleep that night or not.  The weekend was going to be a busy one and I wasn’t sure if I would survive through it without sleep.  Stefano served himself another cupcake after he finished the first.  That boy could eat.  I wondered how he managed to keep that perfect body with all the junk he put in it.  Oh yeah.  He danced all day and burned it off.

Once the thought of dancing occupied my mind, I couldn’t help but put some music on and pull him up to join me.  I surfed through my playlist and found the Dirty Dancing soundtrack.

“Nobody puts Baby in the corner,” he said, pulling me toward him and lifting me up in the air.

We horsed around for hours, dancing to the songs from the movie.  I was Jennifer Gray and he was Patrick Swayze.  For a moment there, I forgot about everything.  I had no worries, no fears, and no tears to fight off.  For a moment I was happy.

Until the moment we realized it was almost one o’clock in the morning and he still had to drive home.  I kind of didn’t want him to leave.  I didn’t want to be alone with insomnia for another night.

“Why don’t you sleep here,” I blurted.

“Really?” He looked confused that I even suggested that.

“You can sleep in the guest room.  I just don’t want to be alone,” I confessed.

“Are you sure?” he asked.

“Of course I’m sure.  It’s too late to drive home, anyway.”  I really didn’t want to be alone.  If it weren’t Stefano, I would have asked anyone else who was over that night to stay with me.

I showed him to the guest room and got him situated.  “Goodnight.  Thanks for letting me crash here,” he said.

“No problem,” I smiled and headed to my room.  I still had to try on my dress for Katherine’s wedding.

I pulled the hanger out of the closet and admired the lavender gown with the open back.  When I slipped it on, I was relieved that it fit.  It was a little loose, but nothing too noticeable.

“Phew,” I sighed and hung the dress in the closet.

I jumped in the shower so I wouldn’t have to worry about it in the morning.  I dried my hair just enough so that it didn’t soak my pillow and hopped into bed.

Glancing at my phone, I wished I had a message or something from Alex, but of course no luck there.  I scrolled through my emails, deleting the junk mail one by one with high hopes that I would get drowsy enough to fall asleep.  Somehow, it worked.

I was running.  The white van was parked to the side.  The door slid open as the dirty pair of hands grabbed me and I collapsed and woke up with a scream that made my throat ache.

The next thing I knew, I was sitting up in bed, breathing hard.  Stefano flung my bedroom door open as he stormed inside, obviously looking for whoever was trying to hurt me.

“What happened?  Are you okay?” he asked, standing there looking like eye candy in only his boxer briefs.

“Yeah, I’m fine.  I’m sorry.  Just a nightmare.  Happens all the time,” I said, nonchalantly as my heart pounded within my chest.

“Happens all the time?  What the fuck?  I thought someone was in here trying to murder you.  What kind of nightmare?” Ugh.  He asked too many questions.

“It’s nothing.  I’m used to it.  I have nightmares all the time,” I replied.

“Really?  Like that?  What the hell?  Have you talked to your doctor about this?” Now he was suggesting that I’m crazy.

“I’ve talked to my shrink, yes,” I said bluntly.

“Shrink?”

“Yes, Stefano.  My shrink.  I was raped,” I confessed.

“Whoaaat?  When?  Who?”

“Years ago.  It happened years ago and I still have nightmares.  Not a lot of people know about it, so if you could keep it between us, it would be great.”

“Sure, of course.  I’m sorry, Claire.  I didn’t know.  I’m really sorry.  Does Alex know?” he asked carefully.

“Yes, he does,” I looked down.  It was hard enough to fall asleep, but to have that nightmare and wake up screaming when there was someone in the next room, completely oblivious as to what was going on was crazy hard.

“So, are you going to be okay?  Do you want me to sleep next to you?  I swear I won’t try anything,” he promised.

I knew he was being truthful.  Stefano wanted our friendship to remain stable as much as I did.  “Sure,” I nodded slowly and turned off the light.

Chapter 26

I could hear the sound of the alarm clock.  At first I thought I was dreaming, until I felt a strong arm wrapped around me and something hard poking into my back.  Stefano.

I peeled his arm off, turned off the screaming alarm, and jumped out of bed.  He cracked open his eyes a tiny bit.  “Well, good morning to you too,” he snarled.

“You could use a cold shower,” I replied, glancing at the hardness poking through from his boxer briefs.  “A very, very cold shower,” I added, throwing a towel at him.

He nodded in agreement and sat up in bed.  “Hey, are you okay?  You know – the whole nightmare thing,” he said.

“Yeah.  Why wouldn’t I be?  It happens all the time.  I’m sorry you had to witness it.”

“Don’t worry about me.  Do you want to talk about what happened to you?” he asked.

“No, I don’t.  I’m going to get dressed and head to work.  You can just lock the front door on your way out.  Let me know how it goes with Mandy,” I said, recalling the conversation about the two of them having dinner together soon.

“You’re leaving me here?  Can’t you just wait and I’ll head out with you?” he asked.

“Okay.  Make it quick.”

“Yes ma’am,” he said, grabbing the towel and heading for the shower.

<><><>

On the drive to work, I ran the weekend schedule through my head.  I was going to meet Calvin for lunch, rush to rehearsal dinner for Katherine’s wedding and had a big, busy day the following day as they tied the knot.  I didn’t know what I was going to do on Sunday to pass the time.  Katherine and John would be headed to their honeymoon and I wasn’t going to call Stefano, since he would be busy rekindling his relationship with Mandy I hoped.  I would go to my parents’ house to swim and visit them.  I couldn’t keep the broken engagement a secret for that much longer.  I decided I should at least tell my mother.  Sunday.  I would tell her for sure on Sunday.

I knew for a fact that I wouldn’t tell Katherine.  I didn’t want to put a damper on her big day.  I would tell her that Alex had an emergency at the hospital and wouldn’t be able to make it.  Then, when she returned from her honeymoon, I could break down and cry on her shoulder like I always did.  That was my big plan.

Calvin called me around noon to remind me about our lunch plans.  I told him I would meet him at the Cuban deli, which I was positive he would love.  Sure enough, he devoured every bite.

“We should plan a lunch with dad one of these days,” he said.

“I’ve tried, but he’s so busy, Cal.  His schedule is all over the place.  He usually has meetings with clients through lunch when he’s not in court,” I frowned.

“Yeah.  He’s a workaholic.  Nothing new,” he chuckled.

I managed to eat half of my sandwich and packed up the other half to take to my office.  Calvin walked me back to the hospital and to my office.  “Wow.  Nice office.  I didn’t know my sis was such a big boss lady,” he laughed.  “What’s eating you?”

“What?” I asked.

“You heard me.  What’s eating you, Claire?  I wanted to ask you during lunch, but didn’t want to spoil your appetite.”

I began to tear up.  Great.  Calvin could read me better than anyone.  I closed my office door and told him everything that had happened to me in a short period of time.  I wasn’t able to show him the photos since I had changed handbags and left them in my other bag.

“Oh man.  So the engagement is off?  You sure you don’t have feelings for this coworker guy, Jason?” he asked.

“Absolutely not.  But Alex doesn’t believe a word I say,” I complained.

He sighed.  “I don’t know what to tell you.  I’m sorry.”  He handed me another tissue and opened the door so he could leave.  “You can always call me when you need to talk.”

We were startled by a loud knock on the open door as Jason barged in, “Claire, I need your help.  Are you available?” he asked, not noticing Calvin at first.  They both looked surprised when they saw each other, as if they knew each other from somewhere.

“Speaking of the devil, Calvin, this is Jason.  The Jason,” I clarified.  “Jason, meet my brother, Calvin.”

Calvin had a strange look on his face after I told him that and Jason looked like he had seen a ghost.  He began to laugh, “Uh, no, this cannot possibly be that Jason, since this one is gay.”

I almost fell off my chair.  I turned to Jason, whose eyes were as wide as golf balls as he was shaking his head, obviously uncomfortable about what Calvin had just revealed.  “Calvin, no,” was all he could say as he continued to shake his head.

“What?” I said.  “Who’s gay?”

“Jason,” Calvin said slowly, looking more and more uncomfortable.

Jason closed his eyes and dropped his head into his hands, closing the door.

“Why the hell am I the last person to know about this?” I asked Jason.  “Can someone explain to me what the hell is going on here?”

“I will,” Calvin began.  “This Jason is gay.  I mean totally gay.  Not bisexual or anything.  He’s in a serious relationship with a man and hangs out with Chad an I quite often.”

“But what about Sally?  You told me how heartbroken you were about Sally?  She doesn’t exist?” I asked.

Calvin began to laugh.  “You mean Salvador.  There is no Sally.  His partner’s name is Salvador,” he clarified.

I felt sick to my stomach.  I looked at Jason, still confused as hell.  “Why?”

“I swear I wanted to tell you.  There are so many reasons why I haven’t come out, especially here at work,” he explained.

“Why the hell not?  Everyone else is gay so what’s the big fucking deal?  What century do you live in?” I was furious.  I didn’t realize how loud I was until Calvin had to close the office door.

“I’m Mormon.  I was born and raised in Utah.  My entire family would disown me and hate me eternally, so you can see how hard this is for me.  As for my boss, Bertha – she’s the biggest homophobe that ever existed.  She hasn’t spoken to her own brother in thirteen years because he came out.  I was going to tell you, I swear.  I was going to make things better for you and Alex.  I was trying to grow some balls to do it.  I’ve been living a lie at work and with my family back home.  The only people who really know are my gay friends outside of this hospital.  Please understand how difficult this is for me,” he pleaded.

Calvin applied his hand on Jason’s shoulder.  “Look man.  If you don’t tell anyone, you’ve got to tell Alex.  It’s not fair for Claire.”  Then, as he recalled the story, he couldn’t help it.  “I can’t believe you kissed my sister,” he laughed.

I had no idea about Jason’s religious background or Bertha’s brother.   All I knew about Jason was the façade he had put on all this time.  He played the part of a young, gorgeous surfer who lived near the beach and surfed every morning.  Did he lie about that too?  I didn’t know what or who to believe anymore.

“I’m gonna make it better, Claire.  I promise.  All of this has been my fault because I’m a coward.  I’m going to make things right for you and Alex so you two can have the happiness you deserve,” he promised.  “Calvin, come with me,” he said.

Calvin looked at me for reassurance, “Are you going to be okay?  Can I go with Jason?” he asked.

“Yeah.  Where are you guys going?” I asked.

“Upstairs to find Alex,” said Jason.

“Alex sees patients in the clinic across the street in the afternoons.  But he’s very bus-”

“Thanks,” Jason cut me off and pulled Calvin out of my office.

“Catch you later, sis,” said Calvin on his way out.

I wanted to stop Jason from going to talk to Alex, but it was for his own good.  He needed to come out and stop hiding his true self and feelings.  It wasn’t going to make a difference for me because I didn’t want Alex to forgive me after he realized that nothing could have ever happened between Jason and I because he’s gay.  I wanted him to believe me when I told him nothing happened.  I wanted him to trust me and take my word for everything.  But he hadn’t.  He didn’t care about what I had to say and refused to believe a word of it and that broke my heart into pieces.

Laney called me shortly after Jason and Calvin left.  “Hi boss.  Who was that gorgeous guy that was in your office?  Not Jason.  The other one,” she said.

“That was Calvin, my brother.  Sorry, I didn’t get a chance to introduce you since you were still at lunch when we came back,” I replied.

“Is he single?” she asked.

Laney wasn’t the first girl to notice Calvin’s good looks and she sure wouldn’t be the last.

“No, he’s taken,” I replied.

“Bummer,” she said, disappointed.  I didn’t want to burst her bubble by telling her he has a boyfriend.

I emerged myself in work so the time would go by quickly.  The thoughts in my mind made it difficult to concentrate.  I wondered what went on in Alex’s office.  I wished I could be a fly on the wall while Jason told him the truth about himself.  Just when I picked up the phone to text Calvin, he called.

“What happened, Cal?” I asked.

“It didn’t go well at first when he saw Jason, but when he saw me with him, he softened.  He was obviously wondering what the hell I’m doing in his office unannounced and without you.  So, to make a long story short, he didn’t believe Jason at first, until he showed him pictures of him and Salvador on his phone.  No straight man carries pictures of him kissing another man in his phone, right?  Anyway, I validated that Jason is indeed gay,” he explained.

I knew what Calvin was going to say next without even listening to him.  Alex felt like a jerk for breaking up with me.  He should have listened to me and believed me when I told him there was nothing going on with Jason and I.  But he didn’t because he has trust issues.

“Alex feels like shit.  He said he wanted to believe you, but the pictures made it so hard.  Now, I really want to see these pictures,” he said.

So, I was right.  He wanted to believe me, but he just couldn’t.  I received a text message from Alex.

We need to talk.  Can I come by your office after 4:30?

Aha.  Now he wanted to talk.  I’d been begging him to listen to me for days, but he constantly gave me the cold shoulder.

Not a good day.  I need to be somewhere.

I was dying inside after sending that reply, but I wasn’t going to make it easy for him.

Please.  It’ll only take a minute.

I don’t have a minute.  I have to be with Katherine and John.

He didn’t reply.  He called, but I didn’t answer.  I was afraid I’d break down and give in if I heard his voice.

I organized my desk, shut down the computer, and prepared to head out.  Just as I opened the door, Alex stood on the other side.  My heart jumped when I saw him.  I kept telling myself that I had to remain calm.  The ball was in my court now and I wasn’t going to lose it.

“I told you I didn’t have time to talk right now,” I said before allowing him to open his mouth.

“I know you’re angry, but just hear me out.  Please,” he pleaded.

“Angry is an understatement,” I replied bluntly.

“I didn’t know Jason’s gay.”

“Neither did I until a few hours ago.”

“Look, baby.  I-”

“No, you look.  You should have listened to me and believed me from the beginning when I told you it was all a misunderstanding and someone is trying to sabotage our relationship.  Now that you find out there’s no way Jason could sleep with me because he doesn’t do women, it makes everything okay?  Not in my book,” I said, shaking my head.  I wasn’t going to give in although I was dying inside.  I wanted to wrap my arms around his neck and kiss his soft lips.  It took all I had inside to make out the next words.  “Alex, we are just two great individuals who are not great for each other.  I just can’t be with someone who doesn’t trust me.  I can’t be with someone who calls me a liar to my face when I try to explain the truth.  I deserve someone who knows the truth without an explanation,” I said. 

“I don’t know what to say,” he looked down.  “You’re right.  You deserve better.  You deserve the best.  And I’m nothing close to that,” he admitted.

I held the tears back as much as I could, but they still found their way down my face.  He reached for my face to wipe away the tears, but I caught his hand by the wrist and slowly moved it away.  I could wipe my own tears.  I had been doing it for years.

When I opened the door and stormed out, I heard Laney call out to me.  “Is everything all right?”

“Everything’s great, Laney.  Why don’t you go home a little early today,” I said as I hurried out of the department. 

<><><>

I arrived at the restaurant only ten minutes late.  Katherine had picked an Italian restaurant near the beach for the rehearsal dinner.  I had dried all my tears and touched up my make up before heading inside, but the look Katherine gave me frightened me. She knew something was wrong.

I put on the most realistic smile I could come up with.  Whenever someone asked me if I was feeling okay, I replied, “I feel fine.  It’s just these damn allergies.”

Toward the end of the dinner, she approached me.  “Allergies, huh?  Since when do you have allergies?”

“Since very recently.  Must be an environmental thing,” I replied.

“Hmph.  You’re a really shitty liar.  I know you’ve been crying.  I knew you had been crying the last time you came over.  I was too busy with my own drama to address it,” she said.

“There’s nothing to be addressed, Kathy.”

“Really?  Where’s Alex?” she asked.

“He’s at the hospital.  It’s been so busy late-”

“Bullshit.”

Katherine was the type of person who did not give up.  She would torture me until the morning light until she found out the truth.  She knew me better than anyone – even better than my own parents and brothers.

“Everyone’s gone, Claire.  John is having another beer while he plays Modern War on his phone.  This is the perfect time to talk,” she explained.

“We can talk about it after the honeymoon,” I replied.

“No.  Look, I’m really pregnant and hormonal.  I will go from nice to bitch in three seconds if you don’t talk to me about what’s bothering you.  Spill it,” she commanded, her finger pointed directly at me.

I did exactly that.  I spilled it.  I told her everything from the conference to the pictures.  I told her about Jason’s homosexuality and Alex’s apology.  And there she was, comforting me on one of her most special nights.  She patted me on the back.  “I’m sorry.  Why didn’t you just give in and have sex with him on your office desk?” she said.

For the first time that day I actually cracked a smile.  “If there’s no trust, there’s nothing.  I do want him back more than anything.  My heart wants him back, but my brain is against it.  I think I’m going to follow my brain this time.”

“Really?” she crinkled her nose.  “Why?  Who the hell doesn’t go with their heart?  If I listened to my brain, I wouldn’t be marrying John tomorrow.  Listen to your heart for a change.”

“It’s too late, Kathy.  What’s done is done,” my tears came back with a vengeance. 

“But don’t you love him?” she asked.

“Of course I do.  I love him more than anything.  I just wished things were different, you know.”

“No, I don’t know.  You’re getting weirder.  Or maybe it’s my hormones,” she said.

I laughed.  “Let’s call it a night.  We have a big day ahead of us tomorrow.  I can’t wait to be a part of it,” I hugged her.  “No tears tomorrow.  I promise.”

I got into my car and scrolled through my phone to find several calls and a text message from Alex.

We all make mistakes, but I make the biggest of them all when it comes to you.  Maybe it’s because I love you so much that the intensity of my feelings take over and I can no longer think straight.  I know I’ve said things that I can never take back.  I take full credit for my actions and wish I could’ve been a better man for you because you deserve nothing but the best.

I cried harder than I had ever cried after reading that.  The more I read it, the more it sounded like it was really over between us.  How could everything turn upside down in such a short time?

My condo had never felt so empty.  The only sound was the creaking of the wood floors.  You could hear a pin drop.  I plopped down on the sofa and just stared into space for a while, listening to nothing but an occasional creak.  It was so quiet that the sound of my phone beeping with an incoming message made my heart jump.  Stefano had sent me a selfie of Mandy and him, happy as can be with a message attached.

I know this will make you smile.

It did make me smile, since I wanted more than anything for those two to come to their senses and rekindle their love.

It sure did.  I’m so happy for you.

When I headed upstairs, I noticed Stefano had made the place immaculate.  The guest room was perfectly clean with the bed made and so was my bedroom.

<><><>

The following day began less than perfect.  I had fallen asleep sobbing into my pillow, which made it quite easy to look like Rudolph.  I looked in the mirror to find my reflection very unappealing.

“Shit!”

It was going to make a miracle or a really good makeup artist to make me look normal again.

I met Katherine and her bridesmaids at the salon she had booked everyone’s appointment at.  Xavier was supposedly well known for such miracles.  He was indeed.  He managed to make me look like a celebrity at the Academy Awards.  I threw a few business cards of his into my bag and headed to Katherine’s place to get dressed.

“You look stunning,” I said after helping her slip into her wedding gown.  “Here’s something blue,” I gave her a blue charm anklet to slip into.

She gasped, “It’s beautiful!  Thank you.”

“You’re beautiful,” I clarified.  “Let’s go get you hitched.”

The limo took us to Seaside Golf and Country Club in Malibu.  It was the perfect place to exchange vows as you overlooked the ocean during sunset.

I kept a plastic bag close by, since Katherine kept saying she’s nauseous.  I wasn’t sure if it was the morning sickness or if she was really anxious about the big day.  Thankfully, the bag wasn’t needed.  She managed to keep everything in her stomach.

The ceremony was so beautiful it was difficult to keep my eyes dry.  Two people so in love, vowing to love one another forever in sickness and in health, promising to cherish each other until their dying day reminded me that I wouldn’t be exchanging those vows with Alex.  I suddenly felt sick to my stomach.

I shifted my weight from one foot to another, hoping the ceremony wouldn’t last too much longer.  I was so happy for Katherine and John, but so sad for myself.  The weak side of me thought about going to Alex’s house after the reception as the stronger side of me said no.  I had to keep my head high.

“Need more tissue?” asked Calvin, approaching me after the beautiful ceremony.

“No, thanks,” I smiled.

He looked around for familiar faces. “Where’s Alex?”

“We’re not together,” I replied, my eyes moistening.

“Come on, sis.  Give the guy a break.  He saw pictures of you kissing some guy.  If he took that lightly, I’d worry.  He reacted just as any man would.  And you’re so sad and depressed.  Just give him another chance,” he said.

“Have you been talking to Alex,” I glanced at him with the corner of my eye.

“Not since yesterday.  Poor guy,” he pouted.

I grabbed a glass of champagne that was going around and decided I would numb the pain a bit with alcohol.

“Hi sweetheart,” my mother approached me looking as beautiful as ever.   “You look gorgeous as usual.  Where’s Alex?” she asked, looking around.

I opened my mouth to tell her about our break up, but didn’t want to get into that at a wedding.  “He’s working,” I frowned.  “It’s been crazy busy at the hospital.  He couldn’t get out of it.”

“That’s too bad.  It’s terrible he had to miss a beautiful day like this.  I guess that’s a surgeon’s life, huh?” she said, taking a sip of champagne.

I made sure everything ran smoothly.  Katherine and John had their first dance and I managed to give a speech I had put together.  It brought tears to her eyes and many other people sobbed as well.   I recalled just a few days prior to the wedding they were at each other’s throats.  But John admitted he made a terrible mistake and Katherine had eventually forgiven him for it.

She may have not forgiven him so quickly if I hadn’t persuaded her that he was the one for her.  I had convinced her to forgive him for a stupid mistake he made while under the influence of alcohol.  But I couldn’t convince myself to forgive Alex.  Around and around it spun in my head, but I got angry every time I thought about it.

When the band played a slow song, Calvin took my hand into his.  “Can I have this dance?”

“Won’t Chad mind?” I asked, glancing toward Chad who was engaged in a conversation with my father. 

“Nah.  I’ll save a dance for him later,” he grinned.

I looked over at Katherine and John as we danced.  They were so consumed in each other.  It made me happy to see them this way. 

I felt a lump develop in my throat and the tips of my fingers became numb.  Perfect timing for a panic attack.  Couldn’t I get a break?  Calvin sensed I was uneasy, since my sweaty palm was against his.

“You okay?” he asked.

“Yeah.  I’m fine.  I’m just going to go to the restroom and freshen up,” I said, heading outside instead of the restroom.  I needed fresh air more than anything.  I inhaled the fresh evening as I stepped outside of the banquet hall to a beautiful verandah that looked over the golf course.  A full moon lit up the perfectly manicured green lawn.

My heart was still racing, but at least I was catching my breath outside.  “There you are,” a very handsome young man I hadn’t seen until Katherine’s wedding day approached me.  “I’m Darren,” he held out his hand and shook mine.  He was a very tall guy with sandy blonde hair and hazel eyes.

“Claire,” I replied.

“I couldn’t help but glue my eyes on you all evening,” he said.

“Well, you can unglue your eyes now,” I replied.

“How about a dance?” he asked.

“Maybe later.  I need some fresh air now.”

“Come on.  It’ll be over soon and I won’t get a chance to dance with you,” he complained.

“This is really not a good time,” I replied.

“Not even a quick dance?” he pouted.

“You heard the lady.  She said she doesn’t want to dance,” a familiar voice came from the right.  I turned my head to find Alex standing there in a black suit and tie, his hands in his pockets.  He looked like he had just returned from a GQ magazine photo shoot.

“Who are you?” asked Darren.

“Her fiancé,” he replied.

Chapter 27

“Oh, I’m sorry.  I had no idea you were engaged,” Darren apologized genuinely and went back inside.

Alex walked slowly toward me.  Why, oh why did he have to look so damn good?  The more I tried to stay mad at him, the more I wanted him.

“What are you doing here, Alex?”

“Well, I am invited to this wedding,” he replied casually, stepping closer to me.  All the anxiety I had earlier left my body.  I no longer felt the lump in my throat and the numbness in my fingertips were gone along with my sweaty palms.  But my heart continued to race as he came closer and closer.

I found myself looking for a place to sit.  I found a sitting area filled with fancy outdoor furniture and took a seat.  Alex sat next to me, taking off his suit jacket and putting it over my shoulders.

“You have goose bumps,” he said, looking at my arms.  I wanted to tell him those were just the chills that ran through my body when he touched me.  “You look beautiful,” he said, tracing the side of my face with his fingers.

“You don’t look so bad yourself, Dr. Blake,” I said, looking away so I wouldn’t melt instantly from his electric blue eyes.

For the first time since I had known Alex, he looked like he was lost for words.  It seemed like he wanted to say something, but couldn’t find the right words.  He scratched his chin and ran his hands through his hair in frustration.  “Sometimes I hate myself for loving you so much,” he mumbled.

“What does that mean?” I asked.

“It means that I love you so much that it hurts,” he took a deep breath.  “What can I do to make up for all I’ve said and done?”

“There’s not much you can do.  You just don’t trust me.  It’s as simple as that,” I put it bluntly.

“I do trust you.  I just don’t trust the men around you,” he confessed.

“I can’t help you then.”

It was obvious he was so messed up with his experience with Angela.  He was never going to be the man he was before her.  I wasn’t sure I could be the one to repair him when I couldn’t even repair myself.  Tears rolled down my cheeks again.

“You’ve probably cried more after I came into your life than ever before.  It seems like all I do is hurt you and make you cry.  I don’t want to make you cry anymore.  I refuse to,” he said, his eyes moist as well.  “Even if it means that I have to keep my distance from you.”

What was he saying?  He was going to keep his distance from me as in leave me alone?  Forever?  “What are you saying?”

“I’m saying that I am letting you go.  You deserve all the happiness in the world and I can’t provide it for you.  I keep hurting you, Claire.  I want to stop hurting you, baby.  I want you to be happy – even if it’s not with me.”  He stood up and walked toward the edge of the verandah.  “I came here tonight to win back your heart.  I was going to beg for forgiveness and then get down on bended knee and put this ring back on your finger,” he pulled out my engagement ring from his pocket.  “But I realized that it would be selfish of me.  It would be something that I wanted more than anything.  I want you to want me.  I’m done being selfish, Claire.  It’s what makes you happy from now on.  Go back inside and be with your family and friends.  Wipe those tears from your eyes and go have a good time.  You know where to find me,” he said as he turned and began walking.

He was less than twenty feet away when I called out to him.  “Alex,” I said as he turned around, a glimpse of hope in his eyes.  “Your jacket.  Don’t forget it,” I took it off and handed it to him.  He instantly lost the ounce of hope in his eyes as he slowly took the suit jacket from my hand.  I watched him walk away, my heart dropping.

What I needed was a drink – at least another glass of champagne.  Calvin handed me a glass as if he could read my mind.  “Where’s Alex?  I swear I saw him about ten minutes ago.”

“He left.  He wants to give me some space,” I replied.

“Space?  Really?” he asked.

“That’s what he said, Cal.”

“Hmm… that’s not what he had planned,” he said.

“He had planned to have the ring back on my finger, but he changed his mind.  He said he wants to give me space because he makes me cry,” I said as I began to cry.

Calvin chuckled.  “He’s right about that.”

The band played upbeat music and I could no longer take it.  I had to dance.  I chugged the champagne and pulled Calvin and Chad to the dance floor.  I was happiest when I danced, so it was the best medicine for the night.

Katherine was having a blast as she sipped on sparkling cider.  “How are you feeling?” I asked.

She gave me two thumbs up and pulled me to dance with her.  It was exactly like weddings should be.  There were hardly any guests still in their seats.  Almost everyone was having a blast on the dance floor.

It was shortly after midnight when everyone left and it was only the wedding party and a few close people.  I realized I had taken the limo from Katherine’s place, so I didn’t have a car to get home.  “I’ll drive you home,” offered Calvin.

The newlyweds were headed to Cancun early the following day.  I helped load wedding gifts into her cousin’s truck before leaving.

I hugged her tight and congratulated her one more time.  “Have a safe trip.  I’m so happy for you.”

“Thanks, Claire.  I love you.  I hope you’ll have some good news for me when I come back,” she was referring to Alex.

I smiled without saying anything.  Calvin brought his car close to the building so I wouldn’t have to walk far in heels.  Chad insisted that I sit in the front passenger seat next to Calvin.

“I’ll sit up front after we drop you off.  No worries,” he said.  It was another reason why I liked Chad so much.  He was such a gentleman.

I was quiet during the drive home.  My mind was so busy with all that was going on that I pretended to listen to them talking about their lives, but I was only there physically – not mentally.  My mind was on Alex.  I knew I wasn’t going to sleep once I got home.  It was going to be another restless, sleepless night and I would probably wake up in the morning and clean the shit out of my condo.

After we were more than halfway home, I asked Calvin to turn back around.

“Calvin, can you take me back to Malibu?” I asked.

“To Alex’s?” he replied, shocked.

I inhaled as much air as I could, then let out a long exhale.  “Yes.  To Alex’s,” I smiled.

“Sure thing,” he winked and turned the car around and headed toward Malibu.  “I think that’s a pretty good decision,” he nodded.

<><><>

When Calvin pulled up to the gate, it was already open.  I wondered if Alex wasn’t home.  He drove all the way up to the front of the property.  I hesitated to get out of the car for a few seconds.  Calvin sensed my hesitation and applied his hand on my shoulder.

“Go get him,” he said.

Chad got out of the car and opened the door for me.  “He’s right.  Go get your man.”

I chuckled nervously.  “You guys are too cute.  Thanks for the ride, Cal.  Love you.  I’ll see you guys later,” I said, waving as he drove off.

I headed toward the front door and stood there for a few seconds before knocking.  My nerves were getting the best of me.  Every time I lifted my hand up to knock, I stopped.  I took a deep breath and finally developed the courage to knock.

Alex opened the door almost immediately, the corners of his mouth turned up when he saw I was on the other side of the door.  “Hey,” he said, moving to the side so I could make my way in.  “What brings you here this time of night?”

What brings you here?  Really?  “You left the gate open,” I sounded so stupid.  What was I, the gate police?

“I know.  Expecting someone,” he replied, as he took a sip of what looked like scotch on the rocks.

He was expecting someone?  It was almost one o’clock in the morning.  “Oh,” was all I could say.  I should have asked Calvin to wait for me to let him know whether he should drive off just yet.

“Yeah.  Someone I met at the wedding.  She was the maid of honor or something like that,” he replied.

“I see,” I said, relieved.  I tried to hold back a smile.  “How do you know she’s coming?  Did she tell you?”

He shook his head slowly.  “No, she didn’t say she was going to come, but I have a feeling she will.  We seemed to have made a connection.”

“You sound so sure of yourself, Dr. Blake,” I replied, walking slowly in a circle around him as I inhaled the scent of the scotch mixed with his cologne.

“I’m a confident man,” he whispered in my ear as he caught my arm and stopped me from walking around him.  He put down the glass on the coffee table and used both hands to pull me against him.  “I’m a confident man who always gets what he wants,” he confirmed, brushing his soft lips against my ear as he slowly traveled down my neck before stopping at my lips.  “And right now, I want you back,” his lips finally met mine and I was already completely out of breath.

The butterflies in my stomach multiplied as I responded to his passionate kisses, feeling his hardness against me.  I felt a puddle of moisture between my legs and reciprocated his every touch and kiss.

He unzipped my dress and it slipped off onto the floor, leaving me only in my bra and panties.  All he had on was a pair of Burberry sweatpants and boxers, which I pulled down swiftly as he unclasped my bra.

He moved my thong to the side, allowing his fingers inside me.  I was oozing with moisture by this time.  His tongue wrestled with mine as he slid his fingers in and out.  I was so close.  I was going to come if he didn’t stop, but he stopped just in time.  He turned me around, his erections against my back as he cupped his hands around my breasts, kissing the back of my neck and traveling his lips down to my shoulder.

I turned back around to face him.  He began sucking on my nipples as his tongue made circles around them.  My heart continued to race as I gripped my hand around his hardness.  I kneeled down on my knees, taking it into my mouth as I licked it up and down.  After it was wet enough, I wrapped my lips around it and took it as deep into my mouth as I could, as it touched the back of my throat.  He moaned in pleasure, grabbing my head and pushing deeper into my mouth.

“Stop,” he pulled himself out of my mouth. “I don’t want to come like this.  I want to be inside you.”

He carried me onto the sofa and lay me down, pressing his chest against my breasts.  I wrapped my legs around his waist as he entered me slowly, making me wetter than ever.  “I missed you so much,” he said as he moved in deeper.

“Missed you, too,” I replied after I caught my breath for a few seconds.

“I’m nothing without you.  I’m nobody without you,” he kissed me as he quickened his pace.  I tightened myself, feeling a tickle in the pit of my belly.  I could no longer take it.  I yelled out his name in the midst of my orgasm as he moaned and groaned as he came with me before he collapsed on top of me, his head at the crook of my neck.  “I love you so much.  You’re my everything, Claire.”

<><><>

I woke up just before dawn in Alex’s bed.  He was sleeping peacefully, so I didn’t want to disturb him.  I quietly got out of bed and went out on the balcony, breathing in the fresh ocean air, feeling the breeze against my skin and through my hair.  The only sound was that of the waves crashing against the shore.  I felt so happy, calm, and content.

“Can’t sleep?” Alex wrapped his arm around my waist.

I applied my hand on top of his, my head against his chest.  “I didn’t want to disturb you,” I replied.

“I always know when you’re not next to me.  I can sense your absence,” he buried his nose in my hair.  Being with Alex at that moment felt like a dream.  It felt so surreal to feel his touch and smell his scent.  Just to know he was next to me was enough to make me happy.  “I’m so sorry for the shitty things I said to you.

“I guess it’s the same way I reacted when I first met Angela,” I replied.

When I opened the door to Angela the day Melissa and Paul were over for a barbeque, I saw red.  I thought Alex had lied to me for months.  The fact that he had a wife he never told me about sent me over the edge.  I wouldn’t listen to him.  I couldn’t even look at him.  All I knew was that Angela had claimed to be his wife and he admitted it.

Alex’s reaction when he was delivered those photos had obviously been the same.  He didn’t want to believe me or hear what I had to say.  He saw red.  I realized how difficult it must have been for Alex when I refused to listen to a word he said after I discovered he was married.

“The day Angela showed up at the door was one of the worst days of my life.  I thought I was going to lose you forever,” he said.

“Speaking of Angela, what’s it like working in the same hospital?”

I hadn’t told Alex about what really went on during dinner with his mother while he was in Guatemala.  How could I ever tell him that his mother tried to pay me to break up with him so he and Angela could rekindle their love?

“It doesn’t make a difference to me.  It’s not like we’re married or together.  We’ll never be together ever again,” he clarified.  That wasn’t what his mother and Angela thought.

He got down on bended knee, taking my hand into his.  “Will you make me the happiest man in the world and marry me?”  He had my ring in his hand.  “Please say yes because I’m nothing without you.  I can’t imagine being without you.”

I nodded as I smiled.  “Of course.”

He slipped the beautiful ring back on my finger.  “I don’t ever want you to take this off again.  No matter what.”

“Never,” I replied.  He stood back up and kissed me softly on the lips.

He made love to me so tenderly that he took me to another place – possibly another galaxy.  There was no place on earth I wanted to be without him.  He kept repeating that he’s nothing without me and I felt the same.  I was lost without him.  As much as I hated feeling dependent on a man, he really did complete me.  He made me whole.  His love helped me conquer my fears and made it possible for me to love again.

I woke up shortly after eleven o’clock, shocked that I had slept in so late.  Alex wasn’t next to me, but I knew exactly where he would be – in the kitchen making breakfast.

He walked into the bedroom shortly after I woke up.  “Good morning, sleepy head,” he planted a kiss on my lips.  “I thought you weren’t planning on waking up today.”

“The thought crossed my mind for a second.”  I brushed my teeth and followed my nose to the kitchen.

Just as I had predicted, Alex had cooked up a storm for breakfast.  I ate as if I hadn’t eaten in weeks.  He laughed as he watched me eat, the total mess that I was wearing only one of his t-shirts and the smeared makeup from the night before.  My hair looked like a rats nest from all the hairspray and curls for Katherine’s wedding.

“I’ll help you clean up here and then I’m going to jump in the shower,” I said, taking my plate to the sink.

He took the plate from my hand, “You go ahead, baby.  I’ll clean up here.  I don’t want you tiring yourself.”

“You sure?”

“Positive,” he replied, grabbing my bottom.

I let the hot water run down my body for a good ten minutes, my eyes closed.  I felt the light touch of Alex’s body against mine.  “I didn’t want to miss out on a shower with you,” he said, pressing his erection against me.  His wet lips pressed against mine as I parted my lips to allow his tongue to dance with mine.

“Glad you could join me,” I replied, gripping his shaft as I moved my hand up and down.

He rubbed me with his fingers, penetrating me, feeling my wet desire for him.  “You’re so fucking ready for me,” he said, lifting me up and pinning me against the wall.

He entered me, my legs wrapped around his body.  With every thrust my back slammed against the wall.  Hard.  But I didn’t care.  I wanted more.  He pushed into me as I pushed against him, feeling my desire multiply.  He moved to the bench, where he took a seat as we continued with me on top.

“You feel so damn good,” he took my nipple into his mouth, circulating his tongue around it.  I arched my back as I moved him deeper into me.  He stood up again and put me against the wall.  As the thrusts quickened, I began to lose myself.  “Come for me, baby.  And I’ll come for you,” he said, slowing his pace as I tightened around him, exploding into an orgasm.

“Oh, Alex!” I yelled out.  He moaned into my mouth as he came with me.

<><><>

That night we headed back to my place.  I felt it was time to tell Alex about the anonymous letters I had been hiding from him.  Because he also felt that someone out there was against us being together, I didn’t want to keep it a secret any longer.  I wanted everything to be out in the open with him.  After all, the letters were about him.

“What the fuck?” he was just as angry and bewildered as I had been when I opened them.  “Why didn’t you show this to me earlier?  You said this one arrived last December before our trip to New York?” he asked, holding the first letter in his hand.

I nodded, “Yes.”

“Why didn’t you share it with me?” he asked.

“Because it was about you.  And to be honest, I was looking for skeletons in your closet when we went to New York,” I confessed.  “And after, too,” I frowned.

“Did you find what you were looking for?” he asked, abruptly.

“Well, the skeletons I found weren’t yours.  They mostly belonged to your parents.” I confessed.

I told Alex about hearing Aracely and Maggie say those horrible things about me right before the conference.  “But if you smell the letters, they smell of heavy men’s cologne.  The first one didn’t have a fragrance when it arrived, but the last two reeked of it when I opened them.”

“Those girls were at the conference?” he asked.

“Yes.  They hate me.  They are so sure that I’m a gold digger,” I said.

“They’re just jealous because you’re hot and they wish they could have half of your looks and brains,” he replied.  “But we can’t jump to conclusions.  The letters could be from someone other than the photographer.”

“Angela hates me.  She could be another candidate,” I said.

He chuckled.  “She doesn’t hate you, baby.”

“Yes she does.  And so does your mother,” I confirmed.

“She doesn’t hate you.  Just give her time.  We have to tell each other everything, baby.  If you told me what happened with Jason before I got those pictures, it would have changed everything.  Is there anything else you’re not telling me?”

“No.”  What a liar I was.  I hadn’t told him about his best friend Phil attempting to rape me in New York while Alex was at the gym.  Thank goodness for the housekeeper, Maria, who saved me.  How could I tell him?  How could I tell him that his best friend climbed into my bed, pretending to be Alex at first, and tried to sleep with me?  Some things were better left unsaid and untold.  How could I ever tell him that his mother tried to pay me to leave him?  After all, she was his mother – the woman who gave him life and brought him into this world.  I could never compete with her.  Angela was a different story.  I couldn’t care less about her.

“Are you sure?” he raised an eyebrow at me.  He wasn’t stupid and he wasn’t born yesterday.  He knew that all the pieces of the puzzle weren’t there.  But I knew he wouldn’t push me.

“Yeah.  If I remember anything, you’ll be the first to know,” I smiled.

“Okay,” he said, kissing me on the cheek.  “Thank you for sharing these with me.  We’ll get to the bottom of it.  I promise.”

“Or it’ll just go away when they realize our love is unbreakable,” I noted.

“Now you’re talkin’,” he said, kissing me countless times.

We slept like babies that night.  It felt so good to be back in Alex’s arms again.  It was a nightmare free night, as I had expected it to be.  Alex left very early and I continued to sleep until it was time to get up.  I pushed it to the very last second, snoozing as many times as I safely could without being late to work. 

Laney was the first to notice the hop in my step that morning.  “Good morning, boss.  So good to see you smiling again,” she said.  I thanked her and headed into my office and got started on the important things first.

Just before noon, Laney knocked on my door, entering with a beautiful bouquet of red roses.  “These just arrived for you,” she beamed, setting it on the round table next to my desk.  I immediately knew they were from Alex without opening the card.

As always, these roses can never be as beautiful as you, but I hope you will enjoy their company while you work.  I can’t wait to make love to you again.

Love,

Alex

I must have had such a huge smile on my face because Laney looked at me as if she was waiting for me to tell her what was written on the card.  “It’s from Alex,” was all I said.

She put her hands together, clapping softly.  “Yay.  I’m glad things are good again,” she said before heading out of my office.

Laura called me to see if we could have lunch.  I asked her to come down to my office so we could walk out together.  Just before Laura came down, Mark Kohler appeared at my door.  “Hi Claire,” he said, his eyes on my chest instead of my face.  One would think he had enough breasts at home with Taryn, but I guess the man couldn’t get enough.

“Dr. Kohler,” I began, “how can we help you?”  I didn’t like unannounced visits, especially from him.

“I was going to call you, but I thought it would be easier to swing by,” he invited himself in and took a seat on the chair closest to me.  “Have you seen or heard from Taryn?” he asked.

“No, not for a few days.  Why?” I asked.

“She hasn’t been returning my calls.  I know her mother has been very ill with cancer.  I assume she’s visiting her, but I wish she would tell me so I wouldn’t worry so much.

“I will definitely let you know if I hear from her,” I replied.

“Thank you so much,” he said, as he got up and squeezed my shoulder.  And there it was – the cologne – that smell that was on those letters.  It was the same one Mark used.  He reeked of it.

Laura saved the day by walking in just as I was about to vomit.  I jumped up, “Hey, it’s time to go to lunch.  I’ll see you later, Dr. Kohler.”

“Sure thing.  Hope all is well with you and Alex,” he had a crooked grin on his face, which made me so uneasy.

After he left, Laura was dying to know why he was in my office.  “What did he want?” she whispered.

“He’s looking for Taryn,” I said, my mind busy with the letters and the fragrance. 

She shrugged, “Haven’t seen her.”

I remained in my office the remainder of the day, not even realizing that Laney and everyone else in the office had already left and it was almost seven o’clock.  Alex called to let me know he had just finished clinic and would walk over to my office so we could walk to the parking lot together.

He entered with my office and locked the door behind him.  He had this look in his eyes - the same look he got when he wanted to get down and dirty.  “Oh no, Alex.  Not here,” I said, but he cut me off by kissing me hard on the lips, his tongue wrestling mine.

“A pencil skirt,” he said, pulling up my tight skirt.  “I love it.  Hop on the desk,” he commanded.  When I hesitated, he lifted me off the chair and cleared my desk, pushing everything aside.  I lay on the desk as he pulled my skirt all the way up, moving my thong aside, his tongue licking me up and down.  I had to cover my mouth when his tongue moved inside me and I almost yelled out in ecstasy.  “Shh.  I can’t continue if you don’t stay quiet,” he said.

“Don’t stop,” I said, panting.

His warm tongue felt so good as he continued circulating it around my clit as he slid his fingers inside, exciting me even more.

When I was about to explode, he stopped, stopped his pants and slid himself inside me.  It was so wrong, but it felt so good.  He rubbed his thumb on my most sensitive part as he quickened his pace.  He had to cover my mouth when I came because I let out a loud moan.  Alex was better than I was at coming quietly, but I still covered his mouth just in case there was someone out there.

“I’ve been thinking about doing that all day,” he said, pulling up his pants as I pulled down my skirt, straightening myself.

“I thought you’d at least take me to dinner before taking me on my own office desk,” I said as we walked to the parking lot to our cars.

“How about I take you to dinner and have you for dessert?”

“Mmm…I’d like that, Dr. Blake,” I said, getting into my car as he closed the door for me.

“See you at home, baby.  I miss you already.”  He walked to his car and drove off.

As I drove home, I thought about trust and honesty.  I had gathered quite a bit of secrets.  I seemed to be keeping more secrets than Alex would ever keep from me.  But I knew it was for our own good.  I could never tell him about Phil.  I could never explain to him about Stefano.  He was finally civil with Mark.  My interesting encounter with his mother will probably go to my grave with me.

My mother told me there was a very thin line between complete honesty and danger.  There were certain things a woman never told her man.  Some stories were better left untold, and I of all people had accumulated quite a few of those.

END

Thank you for downloading and reading the second installment in my Crashing Waves series.  I really hope you enjoyed it.  Please take a moment to leave a review at the site from which you downloaded.

Crashing Waves Series by Marie Jem

Book 1

Pursuit for Lucidity

Book 2

Chasing Tranquility

Book 3

Edge of Melancholy

(Coming Soon)